Matchmaking scenario from the groom's side - how to conduct the ceremony

Makita87

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A wedding is not just a celebration. This is one of the most important events in life, not only for newlyweds, but also for parents. Probably the only thing surpassing in significance is the meeting of the wife and child from the maternity hospital. However, in order for the wedding to be remembered by absolutely everyone, from the bride and groom to relatives and friends on both sides, you need to work hard and think through everything to the smallest detail. A wedding should become a real theatrical performance, where everyone has their own role, and carefully rehearsed. Let's look at the main roles.

Matchmaking: the purpose of the ceremony

A wedding is an important event in the life of any person. And a traditional wedding is preceded by an equally important matchmaking ceremony. Unfortunately, in the modern world there is so little room for traditions. But it is in them that the soul of the people, their mentality is reflected.

In ancient times, even strangers to the bride could send matchmakers; parents, in turn, could persuade her to marry if the groom, in their opinion, was suitable for their daughter. Therefore, during the matchmaking, the girl’s fate was practically decided. Nowadays, the matchmaking ceremony is formal, it is carried out either to meet the parents, or to discuss the details of the upcoming wedding. It even happens that they refuse this altogether, especially if the future husband and wife organize the wedding themselves.

Matchmaking is an ancient Slavic tradition. The concepts of “matchmaker”, “matchmaker”, “matchmaker”

Before we find out who a matchmaker and a matchmaker are, let's remember who a matchmaker is. Many people no longer remember what the difference is between a “matchmaker” and a “matchmaker.” It’s worth starting with an explanation of these concepts.

A matchmaker (if we are talking about a woman) is a person who is professionally involved in arranging a marriage. Sometimes they not only helped to match the bride, but also selected candidates.

Matchmaker is the mother of one of the spouses in relation to the mother of the other.

But the meaning of the word “matchmaker” is a little more complicated. A matchmaker is both a “matchmaker” and a relative of one of the spouses in relation to the relatives of the other. Such an address by the parents of the newlyweds to each other is a sign of respect and goodwill. Etymologically, the word “matchmakers” and the word “their own” have the same basis. And in the tradition of the Slavic peoples, such an address is a symbol of the fusion of two peoples.

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Matchmakers 1:
An ordinary modern girl, Zhenya, studies English, understands mobile phones and computers, and when she grows up, she wants to become the president of the country or his wife.
And so, her parents go on vacation to Italy, and leave Zhenya under the care of her grandparents. But as a result of a telephone mix-up, two sets of grandparents come to look after the child - both Masha’s mother’s parents (typical rural residents) and Maxim’s father’s parents (typical urban ones). The fight for the granddaughter begins between the matchmakers. They are trying to win Zhenya over to their side in every possible way. Together with their granddaughter, the matchmakers manage to experience a lot of adventures and develop a certain sympathy for each other. But just before his parents arrive, Zhenya suddenly disappears... The series “Matchmakers” - season 1, episode 1
Modern Kovalev family: Masha, Maxim and daughter Zhenya.
Suddenly, young parents receive a last-minute trip to Italy. But there is one problem... The series “Matchmakers” - season 1, episode 2
The struggle for the granddaughter does not stop for a minute. A wide variety of methods are used: Baba Valya shows her culinary abilities...

Matchmakers 2:
A new addition is expected to the young Kovalev family - Masha is in her last month of pregnancy!
And like any married couple during this period, troubles arise between the young spouses, and a slight crisis in the relationship is planned! But to their 5-year-old daughter Zhenechka, the difficulties that have arisen do not seem trivial at all! And the girl, smart and independent beyond her years, solves the problem in her own way - she calls her grandparents for help. Mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law and father-in-law find themselves under the same roof with a young family and immediately set about saving the marriage! But each pair of parents has their own approach to solving the problem! In the fight for peace in the family, as they say, all means are good! And as a result of “joint” actions, the “small crisis” develops into a “big conflict”!.. The series “Matchmakers” - season 2, episode 1
The Kovalev family is expecting a new addition.
Masha is annoyed by everything, every day there are scandals in the family, which Zhenechka constantly witnesses... The series “Matchmakers” - season 2, episode 2
International Women's Day has arrived on March 8th. Men are preparing to congratulate their women by choosing the best flowers for them...

Matchmakers 3:
Married couples Budko (typical rural residents) and Kovalevs (urban intellectuals) have only one thing in common - love for their granddaughter Zhenechka!
For her sake they are ready to endure everything! Even each other's presence! Zhenechka’s young parents, Masha and Maxim, left for Holland and left their daughter in the village in the care of Budko. The Kovalevs come to help look after their beloved granddaughter, and at the same time prepare her for admission to the lyceum! So under one roof there are two families - urban and rural... TV series "Matchmakers" - Season 3 Episode 1
Village, fresh air, a huge yard with a luxurious plot, Masha's parents - Valentina and Ivan Budko live here...
TV series "Matchmakers" - Season 3 2 series
The chicken coop was broken, the house was almost burned down, the flowers were destroyed, the granddaughter was not fed!
What can Yuri and Olga Kovalev do... The series “Matchmakers” - season 3, episode 3
Everyone is sure of Yuri Anatolyevich’s innocence, but it is necessary to help the investigation.
Ivan, Valya and Olga take on this matter... The series “Matchmakers” - season 3, episode 4
Ivan Budko is very devoted to his work and cannot imagine his life without it.
Unexpectedly for everyone, Ivan is laid off at his bakery... The series “Matchmakers” - Season 3, Episode 5
Unemployed Ivan has come to terms with his status, but Valentina has her own rule: “He who doesn’t work, doesn’t eat!”
How long can Ivan withstand... The series "Matchmakers" - season 3, episode 6
Ivan is tasked with buying meat, but instead of a fresh piece of meat, he brings home a live pig and tells everyone that he has a new job - breeding pigs...
The series "Matchmakers" - 3 season 7 episode 7
son Oleg comes to Mitya.
The joyful news about the wedding inspires both father and godfather Ivan Budko. But there is one little catch... The series “Matchmakers” - season 3, episode 8
Preparations for the wedding are in full swing.
Mitya cunningly persuade Valentina not only to rent out her yard for the wedding, but also to move into his house for a while... The series “Matchmakers” - Season 3, Episode 9
The wedding was celebrated, but Olga Nikolaevna’s flirtation with the oligarch sunk too much into the heart of Yuri Anatolyevich.
The showdown ends in a huge quarrel... The series “Matchmakers” - season 3, episode 10
Enjoying village life, Olga Nikolaevna and Yuri Anatolyevich come to the idea that they need a house here.
Ivan is trying to choose the best option for his matchmakers... The series “Matchmakers” - season 3, episode 11
Maxim comes to the village.
Tickets in hand; on September 1, Evgenia must leave for Holland. But what about the holiday at the lyceum, because she deserved it... The series “Matchmakers” - Season 3, Episode 12 Through
the common village efforts, the Budki still leave their farm and go to the city to visit the Kovalevs. The matchmakers' apartment is not the Budkovs' house...

Matchmakers 4:
Grandparents go to Crimea.
But they will go there not so much to relax as to take care of their beloved granddaughter Zhenya, whom her parents sent to the Artek children's camp. The matchmakers never learned to live without their granddaughter, but they never learned to live with each other! TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 1
Matchmakers fly to Turkey at the invitation of Maxim and Masha.
They notice the unusual behavior of the Kovalev family. During the investigation, a terrible secret is revealed. Olga and Yuri celebrate their coral wedding. TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 2
The Kovalevs and Budko go to Artek to visit Zhenya and, despite the ban, intend to break through closer to their granddaughter both from the sea and from land.
And at the same time they are fighting with the owner of the hotel where the four of them stayed. TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 3
Matchmakers are starting a new business - the tourism business.
Their first client is Olga’s annoying admirer, who settled next to the “object”. The “hoteliers” are given the task of getting rid of the obsessive guest. The series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 4
Larisa sent strong gangster-looking guys to her competitors, they demand money for the “roof”.
The police offer protection at their own prices. Ivan's colleague helps out the matchmakers. TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 5
Yuri has mastered the position of a tour guide and attracts the attention of one training participant.
This event ends with a group quest. The prize for the winner is 10 days of rest at a hotel with matchmakers. TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 6
Berkovich and a girl are coming to visit Yuri.
She has to be evicted, but the experienced groom immediately brings another one. But her husband shows up. And only the resourcefulness of the matchmakers saves the vice-rector from trouble. TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 7
Yuri and Olga are trying to hide the fact that after the adventures at the resort, their relationship has become warmer.
However, Olga's parents arrive at the hotel, and all the secrets are revealed. Yuri decided to take a risky step. TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 8
The Kovalevs are planning one important event.
The women go shopping, and the party that the men throw for Yuri is so “successful” that he loses one important detail of the future celebration. TV series “Matchmakers” - season 4, episode 9
Mityai comes to the matchmakers to relax.
And for free. In the spirit of vacation, he sends a group of young athletes to Larisa, for which Ivan spends money on the development of the hotel. A saboteur was sent to a competitor... TV series “Matchmakers” - Season 4, Episode 10 A
rising star, the notorious singer Gera, is staying at the hotel where the matchmakers are staying.
Zhenya also begins to take her first steps on stage. But the primary role in the play for children was taken away from her and given to the daughter of a big boss. The series "Matchmakers" - season 4, episode 11 The series "Matchmakers" - season 4, episode 12 The series "Matchmakers" - season 4, episode 13
This time the grandparents will go to Crimea.
But they will go there not so much to relax as to take care of their beloved granddaughter Zhenya, whom her parents sent to the Artek children's camp. The matchmakers never learned to live without their granddaughter, but they never learned to live with each other! TV series "Matchmakers" - season 4 episode 14

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Preparing for matchmaking

When the groom's parents found out that their son was getting married, they tried to find out as much as possible about his chosen one. During inquiries, they were interested not only in the reputation of the girl herself, but also of her relatives. We learned about the family's financial situation. It has long been believed that a bride is taken not for an individual guy, but for the whole family. And this means that she must become a worthy member of the family. After this, matchmakers were sent - these are a kind of intermediaries between the two families. The girl’s family, in turn, prepared a dowry - property with which the young wife would go to her husband’s house. This could be bed linen, shirts, household items, jewelry. It was accumulated from the birth of the girl and was her property even after marriage. If we were talking about merchant families, then the dowry included money. Among the nobles, real estate was often attached to the girl.

The role of matchmakers at a wedding from the bride's side

Matchmaking of the bride and groom

In ancient times, matchmaking was looked forward to impatiently. The girl knew that at any moment there could be a knock on her door. Nowadays, before their visit, the bride's matchmakers help her parents prepare a delicious dinner, and according to the old tradition, the groom's parents brought treats to the house.

1. When guests appear on the doorstep, matchmakers do not immediately invite them into the house, finding out the purpose of the visit. Everything is fun and with jokes.
2. After clarification of the circumstances, guests are invited to the house. The bride's matchmaker "up the price" by talking about the girl's merits.
3. After the matchmakers agreed among themselves, the bride was invited. She had to walk around, make tea for everyone and perform other simple actions at the request of those gathered.

Who acted as matchmakers

The matchmakers' mission was honorable and very important. Matchmakers are the people who negotiated. This had to be done delicately. Direct speech was avoided; all statements were in the form of allegories. The bride's parents could be against the marriage. In this case, the matchmakers had to present strong arguments in favor of the groom, but not persuade - this was considered a bad omen.

In ancient times, they sent elders - wise and respected people. In some areas, priests did the matchmaking. But often the delegation included the groom’s parents, godfather, professional matchmaker or matchmaker (in Russia, men were more likely to do matchmaking, but in Ukraine and Belarus women performed this role), and other relatives could also participate. All participants in the procession had to be family people. And their marriage is strong and happy.

Responsibilities of a matchmaker on the part of the groom at a wedding

Participation of matchmakers in bride price

The matchmaker participates in the bride price. He and the groom's retinue drive up to her house.

1. At the entrance or gate, the long-awaited guests are greeted by the bride's girlfriends and matchmakers, without being allowed to enter.
2. The matchmaker must help the groom overcome all obstacles and get to his beloved. You can prepare a ransom scenario in advance and organize a holiday based on it.
3. When the groom and his retinue finally get to the bride, the matchmaker, addressing her parents, utters the following words: “You have goods, we have a merchant.”
4. The role of the matchmaker at the wedding on the part of the groom at this moment is a story about the merits of the groom.

Now this ritual is carried out on the wedding day, but previously it was carried out a week or two, or even a month before the celebration. Thanks to him, the parents and relatives of the future spouses got to know each other at a set table.

At the same time, those present agreed on the dowry and organization of the wedding. There was a funny custom during matchmaking: in order for the wedding to take place, the groom's matchmakers had to steal something from the bride's house. Nowadays, it is not difficult to prepare for this ceremony: you can purchase, for example, a ring in advance, hide it and allow it to be “stolen” for the bride.

Gold ring with cubic zirconia, Kalina Zolotaya (price on the link)

Signs accompanying the matchmaking ceremony

Now you know who matchmakers are. There are a lot of signs associated with matchmaking, here are some of them:

• Thursday was considered the luckiest day. And on Wednesday and Friday it was not customary to get married. The reason is that these days are fast (Judas sold Christ on Wednesday, and the crucifixion took place on Friday). If you look at it rationally, then these days there is simply nothing to treat those who come. And the ethical side was of great importance for our ancestors;
• We went to matchmaking in the evening. In order to avoid the evil eye. There is a more rational explanation: if the matchmakers want to keep it secret, for example, in case of refusal - there are fewer people in the evening, therefore, there is less chance of being noticed;
• Before leaving the house, the matchmaker places his hands on the stove. Such an action was supposed to guarantee a successful outcome of the matchmaking;
• on the way to the bride's house, the matchmakers were forbidden to talk;
• the only person you met who brought good luck was considered to be a maiden carrying clean water;
• it was necessary to bolt the doors as soon as the matchmakers entered the house. This was done in order to avoid uninvited guests;
• Having entered the house, the matchmaker or the groom's father knocked on the threshold three times with his left heel. At the same time, the words were said: “They are silent (it was said about the ancestors - the guardians of the clan), and you are silent, do not say a word against them”;
• the matchmakers did not take off their hats until they were invited to the table;
• one of the matchmakers had to manage to steal a spoon from the bride's parents. This ensured the future husband's leadership in the family. And the wife had to be faithful and obedient. Three months after the wedding, the spoon had to be secretly returned;
• if a girl is being wooed for the first time, it was advised to cover your tracks, saying: “A hundred suitors will follow your trail to me”;
• You can only get married until the end of April. Matchmaking and weddings in May are a bad omen. This promises the newlyweds a family life filled with scandals;
• If the bride's parents and the matchmakers came to an agreement, then after the guests left, the young mother tied the poker and grip together.

Matchmakers.

As tradition teaches us, it is necessary to invite a man and a woman who are at least forty years old to play the role of matchmakers, and they should not be bound by marital ties. Separately, matchmakers must have a family and children. A good option would be to choose the godparents of the bride and groom, since for the young people these are not strangers. It is also traditionally believed that matchmakers endow the bride and groom with a special energy force, so they should be in a good mood, positive and not burdened with a lot of problems. Many also say that it is better to invite fairly wealthy people to play the role of matchmakers. And the point here is not at all about any side motives, but all about the same energy. It is believed that if young people are handed over from the hands of those who stand firmly on their feet, then a comfortable life awaits them in the future. Moreover, the matchmaker must have a cheerful disposition, be able to entertain and charm guests. Most often, the groom's parents are involved in choosing matchmakers. If there are no suitable candidates among your close relatives, you can invite one of your family friends. Many people invite a matchmaker from the groom’s side, and a matchmaker from the bride’s side; this is also considered correct. The matchmaker must make sure that all relatives know each other. The matchmaker is in charge of the table. What if the newlyweds want to go out into nature with their guests, and there they will need to organize a separate table. According to tradition, during the wedding the bride should present gifts to the matchmakers. The main thing to remember! Those who have ever been directly involved in a funeral cannot act as matchmakers. What is meant: washing the deceased, carrying the coffin.