Modern civil marriage: pros and cons. Are there any disadvantages?

Marriage can protect you from job loss

In the event of a layoff at work and with the same productivity and qualifications, a family worker who has at least two dependent people will have the priority right to retain his job. This is enshrined in Article 179 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation.

A “family worker” does not have to be with a spouse and children, clarifies Elena Proskurova, head of the private law practice at NUS Amulex: it can also be someone who is dependent on them, that is, fully supported, or receives help from him (and she is the main source of livelihood for them) other close relatives, for example brothers, sisters, grandchildren under 18 years of age who do not have able-bodied parents, or parents if they have reached 60 or 55 years of age (men and women, respectively) or are disabled people (there are other similar cases).

What is civil marriage, the pros and cons of cohabitation

Cohabitation is an option for a family to live together without officially registering a marriage. In everyday life, this format of relationship is called “civil marriage.” The Constitution of the Russian Federation secures the right to choose for every capable citizen, therefore, whether to “sign” or try to build family relationships on an unofficial basis is an individual decision for everyone.

The pros and cons of marriage without official registration are highlighted.

Pros of marriage:

subconsciously a person feels freedom, not limited by marriage;
any property acquired during the period of cohabitation is personal and is not subject to division upon dissolution of the relationship;
there is time to “get used to” each other in everyday life;
there is no need to go through the divorce procedure in the event of a deterioration in relations that preclude further cohabitation;
there is no legal liability under family law.

In addition to the positive aspects of cohabitation, there are also disadvantages of marriage without registration in the registry office. These include:

living together as cohabitants;
the possibility of concluding a marriage contract is excluded;
the obligation to establish paternity if it is necessary to collect alimony after a breakup;
absence of the concept of “common joint property”;
problems with entering into inheritance rights.

Couples independently determine which marriage is most preferable in a particular case, and it is impossible to unequivocally say that an official union is better or worse than an unofficial one.

Guarantees financial support

Marriage presupposes mutual material support. This is stated in Article 89 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

Moreover, material support can continue even after divorce, in particular:

if the needy spouse is caring for a disabled child they share;
the wife is pregnant or less than three years have passed since the birth of their common child;
the ex-husband or wife became disabled during marriage or during the first year after divorce (Article 90 of the RF IC).

You can not support your ex-spouse if:

his or her disability was caused by alcohol abuse, drug abuse, or the commission of an intentional crime;
in case of a short marriage;
in case of unworthy behavior in the family of a spouse who needs help (Article 92 of the RF IC).

Based on judicial practice, a marriage is considered short-lived if it lasted from several months to five years and the couple did not have a stable family relationship, explains Elena Proskurova, but in each specific case the court establishes circumstances indicating the couple’s intention to start a family. Misbehavior may include alcohol abuse, use of drugs or psychotropic substances without a doctor’s prescription, gambling, embezzlement and disposal of funds to the detriment of the interests of the family, the expert lists.

What are the differences between official marriage and civil marriage?

Citizens of the Russian Federation practice 2 types of marriage:

Official – registered with the civil registry office.
Civil marriage – this type of marriage means cohabitation without official registration of family relations.

Many people understand a civil marriage as an unofficial union of two people of the opposite sex that is not registered in the registry office. From a legal point of view, this definition is erroneous. A civil marriage is precisely an officially registered family relationship.

In everyday life, many do not delve into legal terminology, and are accustomed to equating cohabitation without registration in the registry office with a civil marriage.

Several points stand out that give a clear understanding of the difference between an officially registered marriage and cohabitation.

In the Russian Federation there are a number of regulations regulating the procedure and rules for entering into an official marriage. Unlike cohabitation, a legal union must be registered with the civil registry office, and the relations of the spouses are regulated by the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

Entering into an official marriage gives rise to mutual rights and obligations for the parties, the violation of which may lead to liability. Ordinary cohabitation is regulated exclusively within the framework of civil law.

Paternity by default

If a child was born in a registered marriage or within 300 days after its dissolution, then the father of the child is officially recognized as the husband of the child’s mother (Article 48 of the RF IC). The child is assigned a patronymic name on behalf of the spouse. If the marriage is not registered, then the father and mother will have to write a statement and thus establish paternity. If this is not done, then the child will be given the mother’s surname, and the patronymic - at her request and depending on whether the father’s data is included in the child’s birth certificate (Article 18 of the Civil Status Law).

Marriage through the eyes of a man

Disadvantages of official marriage for a man:

Restriction of freedom. After registering a marriage, it is no longer possible to easily and simply meet in the evening, watch football or go fishing for the weekend. New obligations at home and family relationships will increase day by day.

Increased expenses. This problem is especially relevant if the wife does not work or earns little, but at the same time is used to spending a lot on cosmetics, clothes, and prenatal procedures.
Difficult relationships. If people in a marriage have not learned to communicate on an equal footing, then they may encounter attempts at manipulation on the part of the woman, for example, with children. This becomes especially relevant after separations and divorces. Men are often prohibited from communicating with children, guided by strange arguments or banal revenge.
Psychological discomfort. Men who have lived for a long time without an official relationship may experience psychological discomfort when additional duties and responsibilities arise, especially if the decision to enter into an official marriage was made under pressure from a woman, society, or under the influence of a stereotype that after X years it is necessary to get married.
Financial inequality. Most often, during marriage, the wife either does not work because she is on maternity leave, or earns significantly less than the man. But during a divorce, you will have to divide all your acquired property in half. Of course, the financial issue can be resolved by concluding a prenuptial agreement at the stage of marriage, but today in Russia this is not the most popular solution.
Inability to have close relationships on the side. Most wives are not ready and do not want to be on the sidelines, just like mistresses will sooner or later begin to demand attention and “leave the family” because they will want to spend more time with the man, including on weekends and holidays.
Relationship with mother-in-law. Not all men are able to accept their mother-in-law as a second mother, and not all mothers-in-law are able to behave accordingly. Most often, mothers-in-law believe that their daughter’s son-in-law does not treat her the way she deserves.
The constant need to report on one’s own actions and location to another person. Such total control may not appeal to every man. Most men are quite freedom-loving individuals who do not tolerate control or narrow boundaries. Often this factor leads to family breakdown and divorce.

Advantages of official marriage for a man:

Constant selfless help and support of a woman in any life situation,
The opportunity to have a safe place in the form of a home, where he is always expected, supported and understood, and also fed, hugged and warmed.
Supporting a woman makes it possible to relieve herself of some of her everyday worries and focus on professional development, building a career and making money.
The opportunity to use the knowledge, skills and professional connections of your wife for your business and development free of charge.

Having an official marriage can be useful for career advancement, citizenship, government positions and status in professional communities. This is especially true for positions that involve professional growth and development abroad.

A conscious approach to marriage with a preliminary weighing of all the pros and cons in a given specific situation will minimize all negative consequences and make living together as comfortable as possible for all parties.

And sometimes a pension

If a spouse supported a disabled spouse, but passed away, then she has the right to receive a survivor's pension.

Moreover, family members of a deceased person who lived with him, and his disabled dependents can receive for him a salary, pension, scholarship, alimony, social security benefits - those funds that were his livelihood, but which he for some reason I did not receive it during my lifetime (you need to have time to write the corresponding application within four months from the date of opening of the inheritance).

Read on topic: 10 facts about inheritance that you might not know

Duration of marriage in different countries5

In recent years, there has been a tendency towards the devaluation of marriage. Divorce has become too easy, and spouses, after a strong quarrel that could have been resolved, rush to the registry office or court in order to sign a certificate of divorce.

The divorce rate is increasing, but the numbers vary from country to country. In Qatar (Daha), the overall divorce rate is 38%. More than half of couples break up quite quickly - after five years of marriage.

In the UK, the average length of marriage is 11 years, and the divorce rate is 42%. However, the highest probability of relationship dissolution is between 4 and 8 years of marriage, or after 11 years of marriage.

The Japanese also get along well with each other, with a divorce rate of 36% and most couples living together for at least 11 years. However, the trend is increasing as in recent years divorce is not considered an indelible shame. It’s interesting how a divorce ceremony works in Japan – spouses free themselves from the shackles of their former life by breaking their wedding rings with a hammer. Both are blindfolded.

In Mexico City, the average marriage lasts longer – 12 years. Previously, marriage in Mexico City was very short - about two years, but the situation changed when a special license was invented and introduced. The divorce process happens very quickly, however, more and more couples began to live together for a long time.

In Sydney, despite the fact that the divorce rate is quite high - 43 percent, people also live together for 12 years. They wait until the children grow up. Many even strive to maintain relationships for 20 years, so as not to traumatize their children with the news of divorce.

In the US, the overall divorce rate is 41%. The average length of marriage is 12 years and 2 months. Interestingly, the highest percentage of divorces - 60% - occurs in second marriages, and 73% - in third marriages of Americans.

Paris is called the land of love, and relationships there actually start easily and quickly. Despite the fact that couples who decide to divorce have been married for 13 years, the divorce rate is very high - 55%. Passions are running high!

In Russia, people live together for about 14 years before divorcing, but the divorce rate is very high - 51%. In Moscow alone, for every 100,000 registered marriages, there are about 50,000 divorces.

People live together for the longest time in Italy - 18 years, while divorce is extremely rare - in 30% of cases.

Mortgage and property

If property is acquired by people during marriage, then upon divorce it is divided in half, and neither spouse can make transactions with this property without the consent of the other. But common-law spouses cannot count on this by default - only if they initially registered it as joint property. Or one of them will have to prove in court that both partners actually considered the property common and both invested in it.

This also applies to cases when two people in a civil marriage pay off the mortgage and then separate - the one for whom the loan is not issued has no way to prove that he invested in common property. In such cases, official spouses act as co-borrowers.

“Not only official spouses can act as co-borrowers: the bank can approve a mortgage for individuals who are not in a marital relationship. But in order to protect yourself in the future, you need to immediately acquire property in shares for each common-law “spouse,” says Elena Proskurova.

Which is better: civil marriage or official

What type of union will be decided only by the married couple, but by highlighting the advantages and disadvantages of each marriage, you can choose the most preferable format for living together.

The ideal option is when a civil marriage eventually turns into an official one, but the rush to register with the registry office, on the contrary, can harm personal and property interests.

Some couples divorce after a month of official family life, while others can live until old age in the unofficial status of husband and wife. When it comes to relationships, a stamp in a passport is a dubious guarantee of the safety and strength of a marriage.

Married couples cohabiting on an informal basis are still less confident in the seriousness and stability of the relationship, unlike legal spouses.

Psychologists recommend the best option and suggest couples live together for about 1-2 years and only after the specified period have passed, think about registering the relationship with the registry office.

A guy and a girl who are not officially married have no property obligations to each other and can break off the relationship at any time without legal consequences. If we talk about legal spouses, then the issue of divorce will be resolved in accordance with the requirements of the Family Code of the Russian Federation.