Official version
Why is marriage called marriage? According to the official version, this word came from the Old Church Slavonic language. It is associated with the verb “brother”, which meant marriage (taking a bride). By adding the suffix -k the word was obtained in its modern meaning. Also, some analogies can be found in the Ukrainian language. The word "brotherhood" means "to marry." What about the common jokes about the meaning of the word “marriage”? Like, why was marriage called marriage if this term means a flaw? In this context, the word has a German meaning and was introduced into the Russian language during the time of Peter I. Thus, these are two completely different marriages that are in no way related to each other.
Unofficial version
Why is marriage called marriage? The unofficial version takes us to Slavic mythology. According to ancient beliefs, the goddess Vesta knew everything about the intricacies of marriage, raising children and running a household. This is a certain standard of a loving and caring wife. This name was given to all girls who acquired such knowledge. Only they were accepted to be married. But those girls who did not have family wisdom and knowledge were called BRIDES (that is, unprepared for marriage). But if alliances with them were nevertheless concluded, then they were called marriages (something incorrect). But this version does not pretend to be scientific.
Portal of knowledge about Life
Strange - isn't it? Is marriage both poorly done and the union of a man and a woman at the same time? How to explain this? I found a simple explanation quite recently. In ancient times, among the peoples who spoke the language from which the Russian language grew, a mature and trained girl was called Vesta. The girl’s training consisted of skills in building relationships with a man (it was believed that relationships are a woman’s responsibility, and future men were taught to be breadwinners and protectors). And the girls were taught by “Witches” - knowledgeable mothers (this status was held by older women who lived happily with their husbands and raised at least 12 children). So let's get back to marriage. Vesta got married , then it was called a union or family, and if the girl was untrained at that time ( Nevesta ), then it was called marriage .
So draw your conclusions, friends. It turns out that marriage is now called marriage absolutely correctly.
And here are the comments that users gave on another site:
I’ve been thinking about this since childhood, asking my mother, my friends, laughing that no one knows why the family was called marriage, and I didn’t even suspect that the answer could be so simple. This article amazed me! Nowadays, indeed, ALL girls are Brides! There is no one to teach! In the country, you can probably count on one hand the women who managed to raise 12 children in their lives and live happily with their husbands! Our parents and even grandparents have already lost the culture of building relationships.
To be fair, it must be said that boys are now not being taught to be protectors and breadwinners (fathers have weakened physically and morally, just as mothers have ceased to be women in the full sense of the word). So it turns out to be a double “marriage” for most people!!!
PS: We need to do a training program “Marriage-2” - how to build love 
Eh, where can I find a “Witch”? I really don’t want to create a “Marriage”, maybe there are still “knowing” mothers left in distant villages?
Don’t worry, we are all “getting married” now. Your future husband is probably not trained in his craft either, and you are already planning to “learn” for him, to look for a witch in distant villages
It's strange how you talk...
I don’t know whether you are a “guest” - a boy or a girl, but I don’t understand what you are saying. If I am taught at least some basics of building relationships in a family, I can create a happy family with any man, even if he is not very trained in his craft, as you say.
And there is another reason to study - the principle “like attracts like” - this means that if I am trained in my “feminine” field, I will meet a man who will be trained in his “male” field. For some reason I believe that this is exactly what will happen
From correspondence on this topic
- In such a union, there is much more chance of failure (marriage) than of a successful project. And only through the work of each spouse on themselves does wisdom come that cements the family. And, if nothing helps, then it is better, thanking for the experience, to “destroy” the marriage and give a chance to create two families.
— What if the marriage already has children?
— The best thing that parents can give their child is a space of love! But, if this is not the case between the parents, then, just for the sake of the child, it is a sin to play false roles! The way out is to calmly instill in the child respect for his parents and continue to follow the path of creation and development, harmony and search! Otherwise, we break ourselves and our children as individuals. After all, the main thing is to come to an agreement with yourself!!! It is quite possible that people come together for a short time only for the sake of the fact that it is from this couple that the coming to earth of a beautiful child is planned from above! Then, all the more, there is something to thank each other for. After all, our life is a lot of lessons and exams that we need to pass with dignity!!!
Divorce is not an option!
is it better to get a divorce? You, dear Guest, are wrong even to the tip of your nail. especially when there are children. The easiest thing to destroy is something that has already been built. The point of marriage is to learn to live in harmony with your other half.
- and love? you ask
— love is for children and youth. Love is a fleeting concept in any case! 2-3 years and nothing remains of the previous feeling of falling in love! those couples who realized that happiness does not lie in love, but in understanding and supporting each other, live and raise their offspring. And if in time we leave love as the reason for being together, this is at least stupid. It is necessary to look for more compelling reasons already in the initial stages of marriage (relationships). For example, a child is one of the most compelling reasons not to get divorced. But even a fool understands that we should not tolerate each other with gnashing teeth, but strike more softly, yield, obey, teach and learn, etc.
Family problems - solutions (advice for men)
The main problem people have when they are looking for a future partner is that they don’t know exactly who they want. You must first create this portrait in your soul with all the qualities and possible shortcomings that you may even like, or that you will be able to forgive, since there are no people without shortcomings.
Then, when choosing, it will be easier to realize “yes, I like this girl, she is attractive, and I see that she likes me too, but this is a “spring desire”, I am pleased with this state, but I see and feel in her a character or a predisposition to actions, which will hurt me in the future and I will suffer from this, this relationship cannot be consolidated for a long time, I need another woman.”
You need to be observant.
I don’t argue, even when you find the person who fits the ideal of your partner to start a family and love flows out of you for each other, scandals still arise. In any family there are such scandals, because this or that person is in a bad mood, or trouble happened somewhere and he carries this negative feeling home or life simply does not work out.
It is necessary to understand this and forgive each other, I repeat to each other once again, both must do this.
Scandals arise if spouses feel that they are not noticed, due to intimate dissatisfaction.
My husband says that the best cure for scandals is bed.
The problem may be that it is more difficult for a woman to realize her desire, that she is furious precisely because she does not have enough of it, her hormones are fluctuating and subconsciously she understands that there is a person nearby who could satisfy her, and this bastard of this doesn't. And when you say directly let’s do it, he will say no, no need.
Conclusion: foreplay is needed. The main thing is not to even hint with words what you are trying to achieve, but to show with actions, gently touch your hand by chance, gently look into your eyes, speak in a slight whisper (you can simply tell the events of your day).
It is necessary, like teasing a cat, so that the desire reaches awareness and then everything will work out.
Another piece of advice is to say “I love you” to each other every day. Then, even after living for several years, you will feel as if you met yesterday. “I love you” is not only a declaration of love, it is a recognition that you believe in your partner, support him, and no matter what he does, you will forgive him, you thereby emphasize emotional reliability for each other. Any free time should be spent together; you don’t need a spouse for a tick in your passport, but so that you can go through life together.
In the film “Let's Dance,” the main character’s wife says that they get married so that there will be a witness to our life nearby.
When you see that your wife is having some kind of crisis, walking around gloomy for an unknown reason, tell her that you are glad and happy that you have the best woman in the world, the women around her cannot even compare with her.
Every couple goes through turning points.
Every couple experiences some turning points, when the heart begins to beat at a different rhythm, everyone feels that something has changed, and that, it’s hard to say, suspicion, self-indulgence, and scandals begin. It’s just that the couple is moving to another stage of life and it is necessary to accept it, learn to live in a new way, take it for granted, since it won’t happen before, but it will be different and maybe even better.
There are interesting short video trainings from Relationship Centers trainers on the topics: Love or Fight? How to support yourself A frequently ill child Ways to resolve conflicts You can watch here: https://www.grc-eka.ru/category/video
Sounds different, but the meaning is the same
Why is marriage called marriage? To understand this issue, you need to study the etymology of the word and analyze its meaning in different cultures. So, we have already figured out the Old Slavonic meaning of “marriage”. In both French and Latin, this word also means “to take, to have.” Now let's turn a little to the wedding ritual itself. After all, people exchange rings and take each other's hands. Thus, in almost all cultures, “marriage” is the union of people through the clasping of hands. This is a kind of symbol of a strong union between husband and wife.
Modern reasoning
It's no secret that modern young people are not as serious about formalizing relationships as, for example, their parents and grandparents. Therefore, when asked why the union is called marriage, they have their own opinion. Thus, many believe that love and law are incompatible things. Some even find confirmation in the Bible: “For in iniquity he was conceived...”. That is, people were not connected by any official ties.
Marriage ritual among the peoples of Asia and the East
Wedding ceremonies in many countries of Asia and the East have a large number of different rituals and traditions. Moreover, they have not changed much over time, although some still came from Europe. In all countries of the world, a wedding is preceded by matchmaking, since to a large extent a wedding was a deal between two families. And the solution to the problem of choosing a bride or groom lies only with the parents.
The outfits of eastern brides are very different. This is largely due to folk costumes. So in China, the bride is dressed in a short red robe, worn over a green or red dress. A Japanese bride must have two kimonos, one white cotton kimono worn at the ceremony, and a second colored silk kimono worn immediately after the ceremony on top of the first. In Korea, the bride's outfit consists of a red skirt and olive blouse, topped with a purple robe. An Indian bride usually wears a red sari and red bangles. Muslim brides' outfits are usually white and must completely cover the bride's entire body. Since before the wedding, the groom can only see the face and palms of the bride’s hands open.
In Eastern countries, much attention is paid to horoscopes and choosing a wedding date in accordance with the lunar calendar. To do this, in China, the groom sends the bride the date of his birthday, so that she and her relatives can calculate whether the marriage will be happy. And in India, to draw up horoscopes, you will also need the groom’s certificate number and some phone numbers.
Eastern weddings are also distinguished by the place where the marriage ceremony takes place. So in China, the bride is taken to the groom’s house by her relatives and in the middle of the journey they hand her over to the groom’s relatives. After this, the bride’s relatives go home, and the wedding ceremony begins in the groom’s house. In Japan, the ceremony takes place in a temple, in Korea you can get married in both the groom's house and the bride's house. An Indian wedding begins in a temple, although only the bride is present there, and after that it takes place under a specially installed pandal in the bride’s house. Among Jews, a wedding ceremony can take place anywhere, the main thing is a rabbi and a chuppah built for this purpose. Muslims celebrate the wedding first in the bride's house, and then in the groom's house.
At oriental weddings, much attention is paid to the festive table. One of the main dishes at oriental weddings is rice. However, there are dishes that are a must. In China, young people are required to eat four cups of long noodles. A Jewish wedding table must be kosher; most often it contains dishes of meat, poultry and fish. A Korean wedding is replete with traditional dishes, one of which must include boiled chicken. And in Japan, a marriage is considered valid after the newlyweds drink three sips of sake from cups served to each other.
Tatar weddings are very interesting. Among the Tatars, it is not the groom who goes to pick up the bride, but the bride’s relatives who come to the groom’s house to pick him up. Before the groom agrees to go somewhere, he has to be persuaded, to prove that this is the woman he needs as his wife. After the groom agrees, he is taken to the bride. However, not to her house, but to where the future wife is hidden. The bride's outfit should be modest and not provocative, decent. The fabric should not fit tightly to the body. The areas of the awrah (those parts of the body that must be covered) must be covered.
In order to enter the kiyau-kilyaete (the room where the bride is hidden), the groom has to overcome obstacles and pass tests. Testing the groom's bridesmaids. They also collect a ransom for an uncompleted task or an incorrect answer to a question or riddle. So, the groom does not pay any bride price for the bride. But the bride herself must have a dowry, the so-called byrne. Bedding, clothing, household utensils, and so on and so forth act as byrne.
Tatar wedding rituals impose great severity on the bride. During the entire wedding event, she should not smile, eat, drink or talk. Moreover, young people should not show each other any feelings. It's not even customary to kiss.
Why is cohabitation called civil marriage?
From the point of view of modern legislation, the phrase “civil marriage” in no way correlates with cohabitation without formalizing an official relationship. In accordance with the Family Code, this is precisely an officially registered family relationship. But if you delve deeper into history, it becomes clear that people use this term to denote cohabitation not at all without reason.
The fact is that until 1918 in Russia, marriages took place exclusively in the church (that is, through a wedding). But representatives of some religions (sectarians or Old Believers) for religious reasons could not go through this procedure. Therefore, their relationship was formalized by recording in the metric book. It is this phenomenon, from the point of view of church representatives, that is called “civil marriage.” Moreover, it had no legal consequences. That is, upon termination of cohabitation, spouses could not divide property. And in the event of the death of one of them, the second had no right to be an heir.
Why has the term “civil marriage” become so widespread in modern society? Yes, simply because the word “cohabitation” has negative associations. In addition, the definition of “actual marriage” is more suitable for such relationships, but it has not taken root in society.
Marriage registration is
Legal registration of marital relations. It consists of three stages:
- Applying for family status. It is written on the same form by each of the future spouses.
- Conducting the ceremony itself. It doesn't have to be solemn. The deadline for registration is negotiated with the registry office employee.
- Obtaining a marriage certificate.
If during the formation of a family the initials of one of the spouses change, then the new surname of the husband or wife is entered into the document.
Types of marriage in accordance with modern legislation
When it has already become clear why marriage is called marriage, it is advisable to study the types of this phenomenon in accordance with modern legislation. Thus, in the Family Code and other legal acts the following varieties are distinguished:
- Civil marriage is a relationship registered and formalized in accordance with the law and without the participation of the church. In domestic legislation, this type of marriage is the only one that is subject to legal norms.
- Church marriage is a relationship formalized through a religious wedding ceremony. In some countries, it has legal force equal to that registered with government agencies. However, according to domestic legislation, a church marriage is not official and does not have any legal force. In this regard, in many churches, priests perform weddings only if the marriage was previously registered in the registry office.
- A de facto marriage is an unregistered marriage-like relationship, which in law is more often called cohabitation. Even if people run a joint household and have common children, they do not have any marital rights or obligations.
- Civil partnership (or union) is a practice common mainly in Western countries. This is an intermediate form between cohabitation and registered marriage. Despite the fact that the relationship is not formalized, the so-called “spouses” have some rights and responsibilities. A special feature is that this form of marriage is available to same-sex couples.
- A fictitious marriage is the official registration of a marriage without the intention of the parties to create an actual family in the generally accepted sense. Typically, the motives for concluding such a union are to obtain citizenship or political asylum, claim an inheritance, receive government benefits, or any other selfish goals.
Sacrament of wedding
Today, more and more couples, in addition to usually registering at the registry office, prefer to be united by spiritual marriage and go to church for this. After all, this is where the sacrament of wedding takes place.
Before the wedding ceremony itself, the bride and groom must go through a betrothal ceremony. During this, the bride and groom make mutual promises and confirm the firmness of their intentions. At the same time, the priest gives the newlyweds lighted candles as a sign of warmth, joy and purity, and then puts on and changes the rings three times - a sign of the inseparability of the union. During the entire engagement, the priest prays for the couple and asks the Almighty to send them a blessing. The engagement begins when the bride and groom go to the center of the temple, carrying burning candles in their hands.
Next, the wedding ceremony itself begins. The groom and then the bride reaffirm their desire to marry before God and the church. After this, the priest reads three prayers. The first prayer is addressed to the Lord Jesus Christ, the second and third are an appeal to the triune Lord. In the second, he prays for his blessing, and in the third, for their wedding into one spiritual flesh. After this, the priest takes the crowns and actually crowns the newlyweds, decorating their heads with crowns. Then the Epistle to the Ephesians and the Gospel of John are read. After reading in prayers, the newlyweds and the priest ask the Lord to keep their marriage in peace and harmony. The newlyweds are presented with a cup of wine as a sign of fun and are offered to drink from it three times. Then the priest places the hand of the bride on the hand of the groom, covers them with the stole and, placing his hand on top, begins a three-fold procession around the lectern. Then two prayers follow, at the end of which the young couple testify to their pure and holy love for each other by kissing the icons and the holy cross. At the end of the wedding ceremony, the priest presents the newlyweds with two icons: the image of the Savior and the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The sacrament of the wedding has come to an end and now you can continue the celebration at the wedding table.
Wedding prayer
