Quite often, young people, having barely reached adulthood, “please” their parents with the decision to get married. Usually parents are categorically against it, but lovers do not hear the reasonable arguments of the older generation and insist on getting married. Why do moms and dads dislike early marriages so much, why do young lovers and their world-experienced relatives argue and fight for and against? And is it necessary to do this?
Early marriages in statistics
In the 21st century, in almost all countries the age of marriage is established by law.
But not everyone adheres to the law. For example, in India it is customary to marry girls aged 10-11, although the age for early marriage is 14-15 years. But there are reasons for this: girls are often married off so early in order to ensure their future, but after the marriage ceremony they remain to live in their home until maturity. But in Yemen, marriages of 6-7 year old children with adult men are still practiced, which often leads to tragedies. The earliest marriage took place in India, when a five-year-old girl secretly participated in the marriage ceremony.
In the eighteenth century, early marriages in Russia were for the bride to be 13 years old and the groom to be 15. But in 1830, by decree of the emperor, the marriage age was raised to 16 and 18 years, respectively. It is interesting that the peasants turned to the authorities for permission to marry girls under the specified age, citing the need for additional labor on the farm. The wedding was permitted after the future newlywed was examined for maturity by a doctor and a priest.
A girl who did not marry at 16-17 years old was considered too old and was awarded all sorts of offensive nicknames.
After 1917, young people could sign at the registry office after turning 18.
It is worth noting that in the Soviet Union, girls got married at 18-22 years old and immediately had a baby, since the optimal age for the birth of their first child was declared everywhere - up to 22 years . Marriage and children were postponed only for good reasons - graduation from college or university, if there was no one to help nurse the baby. And only occasionally did a woman not strive to have offspring out of a desire to make a career.
Nowadays, the age of marriage can be very different. Read about it .
However, statistics on early marriages tell us that almost all young people who get married at 18-23 years old get divorced quite quickly. Let's figure out what is the reason for the breakup of young families who united their destinies for love, and why parents object to early marriages.
Statistics of marriages and divorces from 2010 to 2021 according to Rosstat
The number of registered families and those that have broken up can be displayed in the table:
| Year | Marriages | Divorces | % |
| 2010 | 1 215 066 | 649 321 | 53% |
| 2011 | 1 316 111 | 669 376 | 51% |
| 2012 | 1 213 598 | 644 101 | 53% |
| 2013 | 1 225 501 | 667 971 | 54% |
| 2014 | 1 225 985 | 693 730 | 57% |
| 2015 | 1 161 068 | 611 646 | 53% |
| 2016 | 985 836 | 608 336 | 62% |
| 2017 | 1 049 735 | 611 436 | 58% |
| 2018 | 863 039 | 583 942 | 68% |
| 2019 | 950167 | 620730 | 65% |
Source: Federal State Statistics Service gsk.ru
Physical and mental health
It is believed that by the age of 18, young people have fully matured both physically and mentally. But the processes of growth and maturation for each person end at different times, and it is impossible to set a strict limit - 18 years. For some, these processes take place earlier and the body is ready for adult life at the age of 17, while for others, even at 19, they suffer from dizziness caused by the rapid growth of bones and muscles and it takes time for them to reach full maturity.
Family life draws a young man into a new circle of worries, imposes responsibility for his spouse, and then for the baby . You need to work to provide for your “unit of society,” and violent sexual relationships do not add health to an immature body.
Physical fatigue and nervous stress of a young man unprepared for difficulties provoke quarrels and conflicts in the family over trifles. And the family quickly falls apart.
The reason for divorce can also be finding out “who is the boss of the house . Spouses stubbornly defend their dominance, having no idea how to build relationships in the family, without gaining social experience. As a rule, they do not consider it necessary to contact a family psychologist and get divorced, hating each other.
The appearance of a baby in the family does not make the situation any easier either. Sleepless nights, worries and hassles of caring for a new family member take up all your free time. Young people can no longer, as before, meet with friends, spend their free time in a cafe, on the dance floor or at the cinema . Attempts by a husband or wife to leave their spouse with the child in order to have fun themselves are perceived with resentment and reproaches. And again a divorce.
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An important reason why many people get married is children. Despite the fact that the age of pregnancy is growing all the time, and not only Hollywood stars become mothers after 40, many doctors still believe that the likelihood of giving birth to a healthy child is higher while parents are young. And physically, it is often easier for a woman under 30 to cope with pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and sleepless nights. Another important advantage of having children at a young age is the opportunity to be a young mother of adult children and speak the same language with them.
Economic problems
Early marriages take place at an age when the newlyweds have not yet completed their education. If at least one of the spouses has already received a specialty and is able to earn money, then the situation is not so dire. More often than not, it happens that a wedding is celebrated by students who have no idea how or what they will live on. Apart from love, they are not interested in any earthly issues. Parents do not often greet with delight a new family member brought by their beloved child, who also needs to be supported until he graduates from university.
A young family begins to experience problems of lack of money . Quite independent spouses find part-time jobs, learn to save and live on pennies. But more often than not, quarrels, accusations, unplanned spending on trinkets or beer with friends begin - and the result is already clear.
Not having your own home also plays a negative role. To rent a room or an apartment - you need money, but there is no one to earn money yet.
Thus, the whole world rebels against a young family that does not know how to improve their life, the young psyche cannot stand it, love disappears somewhere. Scandals, reproaches and even fights remain.
Moreover, more often than not, young men cannot withstand the pressure of the environment, breaking into sprees, abusing alcohol, and leaving home. After all, the main concerns about the family fall entirely on him. He must not only get an education, but also earn money somewhere for food, clothing and housing for himself and his beloved wife. Men are most often not ready for such loads at such a young age. Therefore, early marriage is not the best choice for a man.
This is not the best choice for a girl either. A physically immature body may not cope with pregnancy, which will lead to complications, difficult childbirth, and the birth of a sick baby.
The consequences of early marriages, concluded thoughtlessly and hastily, lead to a large number of divorces, broken destinies, and mental trauma not only for children left without one of their parents, but also for spouses. Many men and women who were burned in an early marriage are subsequently afraid to marry and remarry, preferring a civil marriage.
And let's not forget about such a phenomenon in modern society as emancipation . Read about it here.
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Firstly, in youth, children are often unplanned - lovers get married because the girl is pregnant, and then it turns out that one or both parents are not at all ready for changes. Secondly, you want to have fun or, for example, build a career, but a child (or children, if a second one is born after the first) does not provide such an opportunity. This is how irritation, dissatisfaction, and self-doubt can accumulate, which do not benefit not only the woman herself, but also her children.
Reasons for early marriages
Parents described to their adult son or daughter the consequences of early marriages,
however, he or she still wishes to get married. What could be the reasons for such persistence?
- You raised your child too authoritarianly, did not give him independence, and manipulated him. The desire to start a family may be caused by the fact that a young man wants to escape from family overprotection and gain freedom.
- If the family is very strict about extramarital affairs, the reason for early marriage becomes legal intimate relationships.
- Pregnancy is one of the most common reasons for early marriage.
- And, of course, the extraordinary and unique feeling of love in the world. The young couple cannot live without each other and decide to get married.
The situation in other countries of the world
In recent years, Portugal has been distinguished by the number of divorces. If we take one hundred couples as a basis, then about sixty-seven of them get divorced. Almost the same figure is 62-65% for Spain, the Czech Republic, and Hungary. In these countries, cheating on one's partner is often the reason why a relationship ends. In European countries such as Germany, Finland, Italy, Norway, divorce cases occur in 25-40%. Eastern countries with the Islamic religion have divorce statistics no higher than 22%. Divorce rates in countries such as Turkey, Egypt, Iran vary between 14-20%.
Pros of early marriage
Any marriage can be made happy if both spouses are willing to meet each other halfway. And in this regard, the disadvantages of early marriage are almost offset by the advantages.
- Character, views on life and family have not yet been fully formed. Young people have the opportunity to build their own hearth with their own traditions.
- A bright, strong feeling of love can become a support for building relationships based on the desire to take care and protect each other.
- The spouses are young and healthy, they should give birth to strong and healthy children.
- The young psyche is quite plastic, and with mutual desire, the blending of characters in a young family will pass quickly and painlessly.
With the help of the older generation, early marriages, for and against which it is not at all necessary to declare hostilities, can become happy.
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Of course, marriage means being together in thick and thin, in wealth and in poverty, in thick and thin... But many, especially young girls, think little about responsibility in the role of wife and mother, about mandatory compromises, about possible the difficulties of living together - in a word, about the everyday life of marriage. For many, marriage is, first of all, an opportunity to be a princess and the center of everyone's attention at a big holiday. Therefore, the joy of trying on a fabulous dress when you are still young and beautiful, receiving beautiful photographs as a souvenir and remembering yourself as a queen is, jokes aside, really a big plus that an “adult” marriage can be deprived of - for example, like many mere mortals, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did not invite guests to legitimize their ten-year civil union.
Tips for parents
Young people, before they decide to take this step, need only ask a few questions ,
which they must find the answer for themselves:
- Do you want to get married in order to be happy yourself or do you want to make your loved one happy?
- Are you ready to provide for your family, solve all sorts of serious adult problems, sacrifice your free time for the sake of your family?
- Have you and your loved one discussed your views on family life and raising children?
- Where are you going to live?
- On what means will you survive?
- Do you respect your chosen one and trust him completely?
- Do your views on life values coincide?
If young people at least think about these questions before running to the registry office, their marriage will have a chance to be happy.
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In youth, the severity of emotions often replaces their depth. People love not so much a partner as the opportunity for romantic experiences and vivid emotions. A common mistake is that people consider false similarity and the feeling of “one whole” to be love. When the novelty wears off and people begin to see a real partner, and not an imaginary image with which they were in love, a period of claims begins - “you are not like that,” “he has changed,” “I married someone else.” And the ability to see in a person himself, and not his own imagination, comes only with experience; in youth he simply has nowhere to come from.
Conditions and procedure for marriage of minors
If there are specific circumstances, a couple of lovers under 18 years of age can submit an application to the registry office for marriage registration, presenting evidence of valid reasons. The application will be considered by a special commission.
What documents will be required
To register a marriage, men and women who have not reached the legal marriageable age need to prepare a package of documents for submission to the registry office.
What you will need:
- Passport and birth certificate (original, copy).
- Consent of legal representatives, certified by a notary.
- Certificate of income. If the future spouses are not employed, a document on financial support can be provided by the parents of the couple who are ready to financially support the young family.
- Documented evidence of special circumstances. If the bride is pregnant, a medical certificate from the antenatal clinic is provided to the registry office.
- Receipt for payment of state duty.
The couple submits the above documents and a handwritten application on a special form to the registry office. The review period is 20 days from the date of registration of documents.
