Anniversary sketch “Medical card of the hero of the day”
The doctor at the festive table reads out his medical testimony to the hero of the day.
Full name.: …
Age: blooming.
Pulse: beats like a fountain, sometimes impossible to measure.
Blood type: many red cells, they say about these: “blood and milk.”
Heart rhythm: variable, sometimes it beats like a clock, sometimes it freezes, sometimes it breaks out of the chest from stress, anxiety or from an excess of feelings.
Life tone: versatile.
Hearing: universal.
Vision: clearly notices even small details,
Sense of smell: subtly senses where and where the wind is blowing; will determine with an error of 5% who the wife communicated with; the nose reacts only to males.
Illness: for some reason he goes into hibernation after a hearty lunch, a sumptuous dinner and turning on the TV.
Mode: walking, alternating with sitting, and lately, more and more often, lying down.
Medical conclusion: life is just beginning - you need to take everything that was lost, not taken, not received during everyday work.
Sketch “Doctor-Jubileeologist”
Characters: Doctor, two Nurses. Costumes: white coat, cap and glasses for the Doctor; seductive robes for nurses, a suitcase, a stethoscope.
The presenter says that the most important thing for a person at any age is health and that a special gift has been prepared for the hero of the day: elite foreign medical services, right here and now.
The Doctor and Nurses enter.
Doctor (in broken Russian): Gentlemen, how is your health, are there any complaints? I am an anniversary doctor! My specialty is anniversaries and heroes of the day! (Points to the Nurses): And this is my assistant for a particularly emergency!
The nurses smile.
Doctor (puts on glasses): I need to urgently examine my patient! Girls!
The nurses approach the hero of the day, check his pulse, and say that his pulse is rapid.
Doctor: Ooh, this sign is dangerous! You need to listen to your breathing!
The nurses apply a stethoscope to the hero of the day’s chest and say that his breathing is ragged.
Doctor: Ooh, this is an even more dangerous sign! Measure the temperature of the hero of the day to make a final diagnosis!
The nurses kiss the hero of the day on the forehead and say that the temperature is elevated and there is redness of the facial skin.
Doctor: Now I finally understand everything! This man is completely unwell! The diagnosis is extensive jubilee in acute form. If he doesn't take the medicine urgently, it won't be good!
He takes out a bottle of alcohol from his suitcase.
(To nurses): Girls, pour medicine for the patient! And for other patients for prevention!
Nurses help guests fill their glasses.
Doctor: Just a minute, a minute! This medicine should be taken only with a smile and only after a toast! Be healthy, patient! Let's all be healthy! Happy anniversary!
Homemade baking recipes with photos - step-by-step master classes
My name is San Sanych Grach. I am not a paramedic or a nurse, I am a guarantor of medical practice.
I am a general practitioner and rheumatologist, surgeon, oncologist and urologist. If necessary, a gynecologist and even an otolaryngologist...
You need a doctor - only a man, There is a good reason for this. All women only love themselves, They will only judge you for illnesses...
And the male doctor is very sensitive, he sincerely wants to help you. All fears are in vain, close your eyes and relax.
(The doctor conducts an examination using available tools: a magnifying glass, a wooden hammer, rubber gloves)
Well, in general you are quite healthy and ready to live an active life. A light massage on your back will completely bring you back to your senses.
Fifty-five is a wonderful age. Believe me, it’s not too late. Smiles, laughter instead of pills And it will be a stellar “Indian summer”.
Presenter:
We are in a hurry to raise a toast again: “To the health of body and soul!”
2. Congratulations to the hero of the day “Youth-extravaganza”
Leading:
To make sure that our birthday girl is not only very beautiful in appearance, but that all internal organs are in order, we invited a qualified doctor and his assistant.
(Doctor and nurse enter)
Doctor:
Ambulance help is at your doorstep! Gentlemen, make way for the doctors...
Nurse:
(takes the birthday girl into the middle of the room)
Don’t worry, don’t be scared, but relax, smile... The doctor will just examine you and give you an accurate diagnosis.
(The doctor examines the hero of the day.)
Doctor:
Doctor. Thoughts are clear, slightly intoxicated... Eyes are passionate. In! which! The neck is swan-like, the pulse is slightly agitated. The shoulders are not strong, but very sexy. In the lungs I can clearly hear Inhalation and exhalation. The heart beats joyfully and is full of desire... The insides work harmoniously with dignity, Tasting drinks The body is preparing...
Nurse:
So, you’re not feeling like autumn at all?
Doctor:
My diagnosis is accurate: “Youth is extravaganza!”
Nurse:
Youth is extravaganza? What kind of diagnosis is this? Decipher... What does it mean?
Doctor:
Eternal aspiration, Eternal burning, Responsibility for deeds, Overcoming troubles and flowering of the soul.
Nurse:
Only half of my life has been lived, So to summarize, Regret and write off The time has not come.
Doctor:
I confirm my youth! Optimism and vigor! And in order to always live and stay in shape, you need to harden yourself, appear in the bathhouse...
Nurse:
Here is the pharmacy recipe. And also a basin for you. Douse yourself with it three times at night.
Doctor:
Let's all raise a toast Not counting the years.
For the souls blossoming, Wisdom and recognition, Aspirations for the better!!! (They hand over a basin and a recipe for it.)
Text of the recipe:
"Association of Emergency Physicians, Medical. Recipe. FULL NAME. sick. Diagnosis of the disease "Rey8yuyyo-Per1a". The prescribed drug is Vayi1Tank. Directions for use: douse 3 times at night. Side effects: s/»/poe rgMkat»e, neobpositoz(po$1ouappodo/vro/gouan/a. Signature and personal seal of the doctor. The prescription is valid for 15 days. If you have difficulty purchasing the prescribed drug, call again."
Doctor: I heard about the anniversary a long time ago, so I got ready to visit as soon as possible. Who's in pain here? (examines the guests) Aibolit will heal everyone! (points to himself, bows.)
I didn’t come to you alone, I brought an assistant. The intern is here with me, You can’t count her merits. Nice, sweet, fast, Meet the nurse.
Nurse: I was in such a hurry to see you, I was already tired on the road! To gain strength quickly, Hero of the Day, pour us some! (celebrating the anniversary to the doctor and nurse) Doctor: In order for us to understand each other, it’s time to welcome the guests to our chests. (let's pour the music playing)
Doctor (addressing the nurse): We had a drink and a snack! Have we forgotten anything? Nurse: Oh, Doctor Aibolit, doesn’t your head hurt? Doctor (indignantly): What does the head have to do with it? Tell me - give me the words! Nurse (in a half-whisper): Well, I couldn’t understand me! It's time to give us gifts! Doctor (clearing his throat): I’ll tell you this, friends, We didn’t come to you in vain. And it’s not a joke. I saved it for the hero of the day. Nurse (addressing the hero of the day): You are blooming today, and, of course, you drink a lot! And in the morning, bad luck...... There will be a terrible hangover! We decided to help you, We brought drugs to calm the hangover. We suggest you take: (the doctor reads out the text and the nurse hands it over) Doctor: It’s a hangover that makes your body weak. Life in the morning is not at all a joy... And even a soft feather bed can’t help you. Let it be It doesn’t bother you - Take aspirin instead. If you suddenly feel bad, Here is a reliable friend for you. A moment, and you are ready to flirt, Ammonia is alcohol. That's almost all good! The dryness just torments me. The world is not at all nice in the morning - Forget that you drank before. So that you don't get too angry, drink your magic pickle. The brine did not help, alas………. Drink mineral water. And, finally, by chance, Brew some good tea. We tell you in advance - You will fulfill all the instructions and then, my dear, you will be as cheerful as a cucumber sounds music, the doctor and the nurse sing a song) SONG (motive “Wonderful neighbor”) Doctor: I came to visit today, I congratulated the hero of the day, I presented him with gifts So that he suffers less. So that His miracle head doesn’t hurt from a hangover, So that he has fun today And he walks until the morning.
Nurse: I came to visit today, to congratulate the hero of the day, Lastly, it’s very simple. I wanted to wish: To be beautiful, sweet, kind, Charming always, And, of course, so that your friend will not be in trouble. Together: Pap-pap, pa-pa-ra-ru-pap-pap………………… Together: And we also wish you to always be healthy, and never have to deal with hospitals, never for anything, ever. Temper yourself, wipe yourself off in the morning, evening and afternoon. Well, don’t doubt us. We will always come to you. Together: Pap-pap, pa-pa-ra-ru-pap-pap………………… (leave)
Doctor
(addressing guests):
Good evening, dear ladies and gentlemen! But by the way, you are all patients for me! So, good evening, patients! I would like to inform you that from today, by order of the Ministry of Tasty and Healthy Food, a medical worker must be present at events of this kind. Are there any objections? Of course, what objections could there be? What if something happens? Will you take responsibility? That's it. So let's begin the medical examination. - For example, do you smoke? Maybe you drink pure alcohol? Well, don’t grin like that, I’ll find something from you anyway, but for now, take a thermometer. - Let's get started with you. So, good, so good, so great. It's great......that I don't have it. - Let's move on. For example, do you love children? So you have nothing against children? You know, it's bad! Sometimes you have to have it. For example, I have! If you are interested, you can come over after the medical examination. And that’s how it happens. One man thought, and a thought was born to him, but the other did not think, and he... had a daughter, and then a son. — By the way, what is the reason for meeting today? Oh, birthday? Why is the birthday boy so pale then?
(to the birthday boy)
How's your appetite? How's the pressure? Pulse? Well, it’s okay, dear, don’t worry. Now I’ll give you some pills, and everything will go away. And appetite, and blood pressure, and pulse... Well. Are you probably tired? Well, it’s okay, an hour and a half lecture won’t hurt you. In the meantime, I will give the birthday boy a personal medical card.
1st doctor:
Medical card Personal medical card No. 1 Last name: First name: Patronymic: Year, month, date of birth:
Council of doctors who came to the anniversary, Having examined the ear, throat, nose, liver, Heart, kidneys, spleen, Eye, intestines and brains, Taking an analysis from melancholy, Taking the depth of the convolutions and the length of the intestines, The width of the openings of all, calculating the metabolism, The conclusion was this: our hero of the day is young!!!
2nd doctor:
The cardiogram says the heart beats without a defect. According to a blood test, he is fit for fiery love. And like urine, it doesn’t go to your head. And even on the lower floor, when examined, everything is in order, only smeared heels. Well, it’s not a problem, we always ran a lot.
3rd doctor:
Our hero of the day is not worn out, his brain and digestion are normal, the pressure is not naughty yet, and he can physically work until he sweats. He can play sports, but we can’t keep up with him. He will warm you up with a kind word, he can do anything, he can do everything: wash, wash, cook, make something. By the way, come to work regularly.
4th doctor:
We conclude: does not require treatment. Maybe just relax, maybe go to the seas. Conclusion: we recommend living a long life without getting sick, without taking risks. So that the regime is active, so that he is obsessed with life. May you not be dearer on your centenary!
Characters:
- The doctor is in a white coat and cap, with a phonendoscope. Both men and women can play. It would be nice if the role was played by a real doctor.
Props:
- “Certificate of health of the hero of the day” - print the text on A-4 sheet, provide it with the anniversary logo and seal. You can decorate it beautifully, laminate it and give it to the hero of the day as a souvenir after the end of the scene.
Host: Dear guests! Today you are all about big connections, you will undergo a medical examination completely free of charge. You will be examined by the most highly qualified doctor, whose appointment…
A doctor in a white coat and cap comes in.
Hello, guests! Please prepare your hearts for a medical examination.
The doctor (approaches everyone, listening to the heart with a phonendoscope) says:
- 1.Completely healthy.
- 2. Let me hear what’s in your heart? Diagnosis: mild crush!
- 3.Is your heart singing about something... Can I listen to it?
- 4. Young man, say A-A-A. Enough. We write: confuses day with night. It’s okay, half of our population lives quietly with such a diagnosis.
- 5. Well, dear, what will you please us with? All clear. She is sleeping!
- 6. And you, father, why are you so sad? We write: depression.
- 7. So, the diagnosis is clear - that means 100 grams of vodka every half hour for tonight. By the end of the anniversary, the wound will heal itself.
- 8 Who are you, can I listen? Heightened self-esteem. There's nothing you can do about it.
- 9. Well, your heart will definitely introduce you to us. Who are you, what is your last name? Persecution mania..
- 10. You sigh throughout the entire medical examination. Have you eaten anything today? How do you generally eat?
- 11. Your heart seems to be about to jump out of an overabundance of feelings. Is there something you really want to say? Well done.
12. Your heart, it seems to me, is worried about gifts. What did you give to the hero of the day today? It’s better to listen to the heart, it will tell the truth.
(approaches the hero of the day)
Tell me, the anniversary will end, everyone will go home, and in the evening you will tell your wife alone the words that are on your heart. Can we listen too?
So, I checked all the guests, the diagnosis for everyone is clear:
- 1 Chronic jubilism.
- 2 Bottleism.
- 3 Tancelit.
- 4 Overeating.
- 5 Peretostitis.
- 6 Acute drunkenness.
- 7 Hangover syndrome.
- 8 Acute drinking deficiency.
I urgently prescribe a potion for everyone: White, Red, Dry!
Our dear hero of the day also underwent a medical examination! He is issued a “Health Certificate for the hero of the day.”
Our council of relatives and friends who came to the anniversary, having examined the hero of the day: the ear, throat, nose, liver, heart, kidney, spleen, taking the depth of the convolutions and the length of the intestine, they came to the following conclusion: our hero of the day is young! The cardiogram says, the heart beats without a flaw. According to a blood test, he is fit for fiery love. And like a glass of urine, it doesn’t hit your head. and on the lower floor, when viewed in the lower room, everything is openwork, everything is in order, just smeared heels. Well, it doesn’t matter - he always runs a lot. And the hero of the day’s tongue is not worn out, there are no unnecessary wrinkles on his face. The brain and digestion are normal, but the reproductive channel is blocked. Well, it doesn’t matter - he always wants sex. And he can physically work until he sweats. We conclude that he does not need treatment. Is it just to relax? And with guests a little at a time, For health, take 100, 125 grams!
Doctor for the hero of the day.
This scene requires a man to play the doctor and two women to play the nurses.
A doctor enters the hall with two nurses in short coats. The doctor says: I am a doctor and candidate of medical sciences. And my main task is to follow the hero of the day on his great day. And these are my nurses who will help me cure you and get you back on your feet. And so the girls need to measure the patient’s pulse.
The nurses approach the hero of the day, take his hands and touch the pulse on his wrist.
The doctor says: Oh, your pulse is rapid, we urgently need to listen to your heart.
The girls unbutton the hero of the day’s shirt and put their heads to their chests to listen to the heart.
Doctor: Oh, your heart is beating fast, you need to take your temperature.
The girls gently kiss the hero of the day on the forehead to measure his temperature.
Doctor: Oh, your temperature is rising and something else is rising. You need urgent treatment.
The doctor takes out a bottle of vodka from his suitcase and says to the nurses: Come on, girls, pour the patient some medicine, and pour the same for everyone who came into contact with the patient. And for the medicine to work, you need to say a toast.
The doctor makes a toast in honor of the hero of the day and everyone drinks the medicine.
Funny scenes about doctors
This page of our website presents funny skits on a medical topic that will enliven any concert for workers of medical institutions. Such miniatures can also be staged at student celebrations, included in the program of skit parties, as well as corporate events for Doctor’s Day, which in 2021 is celebrated on June 20, the third Sunday of the month.
Funny scenes for Doctor's Day
Many comic skits about doctors are dedicated to the relationship between doctors and patients.
*** There is an appointment with a psychiatrist. The doctor asks the patient: “What’s bothering you?” Patient: - Doctor, crocodiles are coughing behind the wall in my apartment at night! Doctor: - Well, my friend, this is not for me, but for the veterinarian. Next!
*** Another scene also involves a psychiatrist and a patient. Patient: - Doctor, a monster comes to me every night! - And you send him somewhere. The psychiatrist returns home and goes to bed in the evening. At night, a monster crawls out from behind his bed: “Sorry, doctor, but I was sent to you.”
*** The patient complains to the psychiatrist: “I have a split personality.” It seems to me that I am not me, but two of us. Doctor: - I don’t understand anything. Repeat one more time. Just do me a favor, don’t speak both at once and don’t interrupt each other.
*** In another funny scene about doctors, a doctor prescribed medicine to a patient, who asks: “Please write me a certificate that I’m an idiot.” – Why is this still necessary? – It seems to me that pharmacies should not give out drops for a runny nose for 8 thousand without such a certificate.
*** Another miniature takes place in the cabin of an airplane. The passenger becomes ill and loses consciousness. Flight attendant: – Is there a doctor on the plane? Urgently need help! Nobody responds. Finally, one of the passengers approaches the flight attendant and says, embarrassed: “I’m a doctor, but I’m a dentist.” - Examine the patient anyway. He examines the body for a long time without signs of life. The flight attendant asks: “Doctor, what’s wrong with him?” Doctor: - Well, what can I say definitely? Two caries and one pulpitis.
*** Another funny skit on a medical theme takes place in a doctor's office. A man comes to see a doctor with a nail in his head (the artist puts on a cap with a nail sticking out of it). Doctor: - What, the nail needs to be pulled out? Patient: - Well, yes... - You have 10 thousand rubles. - But I have a policy! “According to the policy, we can only bend it for you so that it doesn’t interfere.”
*** The doctor indignantly says to the patient: “You look pretty bad!” I told you: only 10 cigarettes a day! Patient: - I remember your words well, doctor. But you must admit, for a person who has never smoked, this is not so little!
*** At an ENT appointment, the doctor says to the patient: “It seems to me that today you are coughing easier.” - Yes, doctor, I practiced all night.
*** The patient informs the doctor. – Doctor, I snore so much at night that I wake up from my own snoring. What will you advice me? Doctor: - Sleep in another room.
*** Another skit that can be staged on Doctor’s Day takes place in the office of an allergist. The doctor hands the patient a box of screws: “Okay, patient, let’s swallow the screws!” Patient: - Oh... Aw... - Does it hurt? - Yeahhhh... - Everything is clear! You are allergic to screws!
*** There is an appointment in the surgeon’s office. The doctor asks the patient: “What’s bothering you?” Patient: - You know, doctor, I have a deviated septum in my nose. Doctor: - Everything is clear, it’s a common thing. He goes to the closet and opens the doors. There is a set of various shoes from slippers to tarpaulin boots. The doctor selects a suitable pair and begins to put it on. Patient (scared): - Doctor, are you sure this will help? Doctor: - I'm sure. Although, let me look at your partition. (Carefully examines the patient’s nose.) It turns out that it is bent to the right side. Then you will have to wait for Ivan Ivanovich. He's left-handed. Otherwise I might miss with my left foot and hit you in the ear.
*** In the following joke about doctors, a bald man comes to the doctor and asks: “Can you prescribe me a hair restoration product?” Doctor: - Take this bottle - this is the most effective remedy! Patient: Are you sure? - Absolutely! Do you see that man with the mustache in the queue? - Yes... - So, this is my wife! Her mustache grew after she tried to open this bottle with her teeth.
*** The dentist turns to the patient: “As soon as I start drilling your tooth, please scream louder.” Patient: - Why?! “You saw that there was a whole crowd of patients sitting in the waiting room.” And in twenty minutes the football championship begins.
*** An old woman comes to the doctor. Doctor: - What are you complaining about? What's troubling? What hurts? Grandmother: - Oh, honey, my legs can’t walk, my arms are aching, my back can’t straighten, my head is pounding. - Well, let’s write it down: “The whole grandmother’s injury.”
*** A patient comes to the doctor: – Hello, free doctor. Doctor: – Hello, terminally ill patient.
*** The participants in the following funny skits on a medical topic are a doctor and a blonde. A blonde woman at a doctor’s appointment asks: “Doctor, help!” I was bitten by a bumblebee! – Don’t worry, we’ll apply ointment now. - But how will you catch him? The bumblebee has already flown far away! - No, I’ll smear the place where he bit you. - Aaaa, I see. So it was in the park on a bench, under a tree. The doctor, rolling his eyes: “No, I’ll smear the part of your body where the bumblebee bit you, and everything will go away.” - That's what they would say, doctor! The bumblebee bit my finger. - Which one? - How do I know? To me, all bumblebees are the same.
*** The blonde asks the professor: - Tell me, what exercises are good for losing weight? – I recommend that you turn your head from right to left and from left to right. - Yes? And how often? - Every time they treat you to something!
*** Another cool scene on Doctor’s Day takes place in a clinic. There was a huge line to see the doctor. A disabled person rides into the office in a chair. Presenter: – One day God decided to restore order in Russian medicine. He descended to earth under the guise of a doctor in a clinic. God puts his hand on the disabled person’s shoulder and says: “Get up and walk!” He gets up and leaves. There’s a line of people asking in the corridor: “How’s the new doctor doing?” - Yes, like everyone else. I didn't even measure my blood pressure.
*** And in this sketch about doctors there is a conversation on the phone. A patient wants to make an appointment with a doctor. - Hello, clinic? Can I take a voucher to see the doctor? Receptionist: - You can, but we have a waiting list for this specialist a month in advance. - Fantastic! And how do all these people know what they will be sick with in a month?
