The first wedding night in Rus' was an important event, preparation for which was carried out no less carefully than for the celebration itself. For the first time, the newlyweds could feel like full-fledged lovers, and both the bride and groom were excitedly awaiting this event. The future relationship, trust and attraction of the young people to each other depended on the first night together. On the wedding portal svadebka.ws you will learn about how the wedding night took place in Rus' and whether there are echoes of the past in the night of love among modern newlyweds.
The night after the wedding in Rus'
Since ancient times, the time that passed after a noisy feast has been called the first wedding night. It implied not simple sexual intimacy, but the union of two people. Only the husband could exercise the right of first sexual intimacy. It was he who was considered the head of the family.
And for this he did not have to win his woman in battle, as was done in African countries. The man was initially considered the master and the so-called ruler.
Women were innocent and virginal before marriage. Subsequently, the man did not confirm this when he hung out the sheet in the morning. However, he could tell the entire village that the girl was not chaste and refuse her. In this case, the young lady suffered a real vice, which was punished not only by people, but also by church canons.
Time spending
Russian wedding night.
For the Russian people, the timing of the marriage ceremony is important. It is based not only on the wedding itself, but also on the possibility of sexual intimacy. It is believed that it is unacceptable to have sex during Lent and other forbidden church days.
That is why the wedding had to be scheduled together with a church minister, who would definitely authorize this event. Very often, men guessed a woman’s cycle, because they didn’t want to just sleep on the first night. After all, a girl with menstruation is still considered sinful in church rules, so intimacy with her is impossible.
Ritual of preparation for the wedding night
Not only the newlyweds, but also their closest relatives prepared for their wedding night. The event took place in the groom's house, because it was there that the bride moved immediately after the wedding. In another way, the first closeness was called the basement, since it was located in the coolest place of the house. It was believed that it was in the cool that newlyweds had a better chance of getting closer and snuggling with each other.
The bed for the first night was necessarily made by the groom's mother or sister. This had to be done with items from the bride's dowry. At the same time, the bride was not allowed into the room until the first intimacy took place.
Unchangeable attributes were also placed on the bed. They were symbols of nobility, material well-being, health and family happiness. They were placed in the corners of the room so that they would not be conspicuous to the young married couple.
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The first wedding night of the Russian tsars. Secrets of the court ritual
The wedding night of Russian princes and tsars, like other rituals of the wedding ceremony, was subject to rules described in detail in the 16th century in a special manual “Wedding Rite”.
Having delicately limited themselves to the phrase that “in bed, the bride and groom do whatever they want,” the authors of the ancient text thoroughly reveal other aspects of the colorful evening.
To perform marital duties, a “sennik” was set up in one of the secluded chambers of the palace, the decoration of which was imbued with folk superstitions and Christian symbols.
The central place in the unheated bedchamber was occupied by a “bed” topped with a canopy, which was laid by bed makers, who were responsible for the correctness of its ritual assembly. According to customs, 27 sheaves of rye were placed on the lower tier of the love bed, which, as Alexander Tereshchenko, a researcher of Russian life, assures, symbolized prosperity, fertility and promised an easy birth. A carpet was laid over the gifts of nature, on which up to ten feather beds, covered with a silk sheet, were placed. At the head of the bed, crowned with Christian images, lay pillows covered with warm marten or sable blankets.
Ethnographer Nikolai Sumtsov pointed out that four arrows were pierced into the corners of the wedding “haybox”, a tub of grain was placed by the bed, and crosses were hung on the walls.
From the book “The History of Weddings” by Oleg Ivik, it becomes clear that at the door of the bedchamber, protected by all beliefs, the newlyweds were met by the wife of the thousand, who sprinkled them with hops, dressed in an inverted sheepskin coat - a symbol of family life.
When churches began to serve vespers, the groom took off his festive attire, and the bride did the same behind the curtain with the help of groomsmen and matchmakers. Putting on a quilted jacket and a gorlat hat, she came out from behind the screen and sat down on the bed next to her betrothed, dressed in a fur coat and a similar headdress.
Having dismissed strangers, the young people were left alone. To incite their passion, stallions and mares were often tied under the windows of the hay barn, and with their prolonged neighing they whetted the love appetite. For the same reasons, they did not heat the bedroom, the cold and dampness of which should have forced the timid newlyweds to quickly rush into a hot embrace.
Having fulfilled his marital duty, the tsar called the bed-boy who was guarding at the door and sent him for the “nearby noblewoman,” who was supposed to testify to the chastity of the bride and the virility of the groom.
Having performed a ritual ablution after intimacy, the husband, sitting on the bed, and the wife behind the curtain, were waiting for the thousand and the mother-in-law, who were supposed to feed the newlyweds chicken or fish pie, since they did not touch food at the wedding table.
With the coming to power of the pro-European-oriented Peter I, the time had come to eradicate the ancient Russian traditions of holding the first wedding night, which were irrational from his point of view. In the book “Northern Palmyra. The First Days of St. Petersburg” Christopher Marsden expresses the opinion that, having a passion for “instructive performances,” the first Russian emperor arranged funny weddings in the old style, ridiculing the mores and prejudices that reigned then. Mocking the custom of making a bed for the first wedding night in a cold “haybox,” he ordered the imaginary newlyweds to indulge in lovemaking in an unheated hut in the winter.
Wanting to get closer to the ruling dynasties of the Old World, Peter I did not want to scare off potential brides with ossified rituals that were suitable for patriarchal Rus', but did not correspond to the new imperial Russia, which had taken the path of a secular society.
From now on, on their wedding night, the newlyweds were left to themselves in the most luxurious bedroom of the palace, no one was guarding them at the door, no one sprinkled them with hops out of superstition, and no one interfered with their intimate privacy. Moreover, during this period, the tradition of displaying a sheet to confirm the bride’s chastity fell into oblivion.
Having abandoned ancient wedding traditions, the imperial court soon acquired its own customs. So on their wedding night, the newlyweds were ordered to dress in night shoes made especially for the occasion and a robe made of heavy silver brocade.
If a member of the imperial family was married at a young age, then before the wedding night they conducted “educational work” with him. Similar instructions existed in princely and tsarist times, then nannies and uncles told newlyweds about the intricacies of intimacy, and in the new Russia their mission was carried out by parents, educators or court doctors.
In the publication “Doctors of the Court of His Imperial Majesty, or How the Royal Family Was Treated...” Igor Zimin states that with Alexander II, a similar educational program was carried out by personal physician Nikolai Velyaminov, who wrote in his diary that his ward “was as clean as a girl” before the wedding.
Another imperial doctor, Nikolai Zdekauer, had a similar conversation with the shy Alexander III, who was supported by his parents until the cherished hour. The morning after the wedding, the touched heir to the throne left a revelation in his diary: “There will never be such a feeling as this evening. I had a complete fever and could hardly stand on my feet. At 3/4 1 Mom went into the office. I stood up, hugged Papa tightly, asked for his blessing again... Then I prayed, locked the door to the office, put out the candle and went to bed. He took off his robe and shoes and went to bed. The first feeling was incomprehensible when I found myself in bed and felt all the members of my darling on my body, which wrapped itself around me. I won’t expand further here...”
Much more knowledgeable in matters of treating ladies was the namesake and predecessor of Alexander III - Emperor Alexander I, who was theoretically introduced to the matter by teacher Nikolai Saltykov, and practically taught by one of the court ladies.
Fulfilling the order of Catherine II, they were supposed to prepare her 15-year-old grandson for the wedding, but at the most crucial moment something went wrong, since a note appeared in the diary of Alexander I after the wedding: “God, how beautiful she is! I can never forget this night, in which I was unable, unable to touch her snow-white satin body...” So, despite the efforts of Catherine II, her grandson on her wedding night repeated the fate of her husband, Peter III, who preferred love joys with a young woman the bride has a restful sleep. But if Alexander I corrected his mistake the next night, then Peter III, according to Igor Zimin, remained indifferent to Catherine II for another 5 years.
Seeing off the newlyweds
Wedding night in Rus'.
The farewell to the bed took place with noise and dancing. It was believed that in this way all evil spirits were driven out, because they would not dare to come when there were so many cheerful and loud people.
Therefore, as soon as the procession departed from the bride’s house to the groom’s, everyone sang songs loudly and danced. Men often told obscene jokes, thereby setting the mood in the right mood.
As soon as all the people approached the house, only the groom’s close friend and the sister who made the bed could enter the room. The friend used a rod to knock out all the evil spirits and evil spirits from the bed. After which he had to pay money to the groom's sister for making the bed.
Features of the first wedding night in Ancient Rus'
Back in the 16th century, the rules of the wedding ceremony for princes and kings were described in detail. The manual was called "Wedding Rite". In one of the chambers of the palace, a “hay barn” was set up in advance. This is a special decoration of a room where folk superstitions and Christian traditions have penetrated. A canopy was stretched over the bed. The bed itself was covered with bedding. There should have been 27 sheaves of rye in the lower tier of the bed. This number was fixed. It symbolized prosperity and fertility.
A carpet could be laid on top of the bed. Next should have been 10 feather beds, and only then a silk sheet. Sable blankets were placed on the pillows. There were four arrows stuck in the corners of the bed. A cross was always hung on the wall. A bag of grain was left next to the bed. Newlyweds were given a sheepskin coat. This was considered wealth in the family. They walked in it all the way to the bed.
When getting married in a church, the prince and princess had to take off their magnificent outfits and change into ordinary clothes. An interesting fact, but the bridal room was not heated at all. This was done so that the newlyweds would not be embarrassed by each other and would rush into each other’s arms. After the first wedding night, the king called the guard. He ran after the noblewoman. It was she who had to take out the sheet and testify to the queen’s chastity. After this, the mother-in-law came into the room and fed the newlyweds meat or fish pie.
Alone
After seeing off for the night, the noisy procession did not leave the house; it always remained near the hut. Often men would peek into the room, trying to understand what was happening. The groom's closest friend remained behind the door. From time to time he eavesdropped on what was going on behind the door, which he loudly informed everyone about.
The newlyweds initially sat down at the laid table. It was obligatory to include bread and chicken. The future spouses had to eat a little. This was necessary so that the spirits would attract good luck and family well-being to them.
After this, the man lay down on the bed, and the woman took off his shoes. Thus, the girl showed her humility and submission to her husband, the head of the family. The wife always asked her husband what mood he was in and whether she could go to bed with him. If the man agreed, then sexual intimacy began. As a rule, several acts had to take place.
A close friend of the groom overheard everything that was happening behind the door; he reported that the bride had lost her virginity. As soon as this happened, the sex ended, the young people had to go out to the guests. The celebration continued with the married couple. Further, it was believed that they were a full-fledged family. At the same time, the feast could continue both in the house of the groom and the bride.
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What was the first wedding night like in Rus'?
However, feudal lords often overstepped the law and replaced the young spouse in the marriage bed, depriving him of the right given by the church to deprive the young woman of her virginity. Such actions were not approved by the church, but, unfortunately, this did not stop the gentlemen who considered themselves the legal owners of the peasants under their control.
Weddings in Rus' belonged to the category of complex sacraments, in which the traditions of paganism and the Christian religion were intricately intertwined. The people took a very responsible approach to choosing the day for the wedding. This had to be a church-sanctioned date.
N. K. Pimonenko, “Matchmakers,” 1882. Photo: ru.wikipedia.org
Since the first wedding night, and therefore the intimate intimacy of the newlyweds, was supposed to be held on the wedding day, this celebration was not scheduled for days of church fasts and major Christian holidays. The fact is that on such days the church does not allow the fulfillment of marital duties, and the newlyweds could not have sexual intercourse with each other.
According to wedding tradition, the process of preparation for the first wedding night was a whole ritual event. The young people prepared a bedchamber in that part of the house where it was always cool: in a closet, barn, bathhouse or basement. According to custom, the action was supposed to take place in the house where the young man lived. After the wedding, the wife lived with her husband.
The newlyweds had their marital bed prepared in advance. It was supposed to be tall and have a strong wooden base. Sheets and blankets for the marriage bed were taken from the bride's dowry. Only women who were matchmakers could make the bed for the newlyweds. The young man's mother and his sister could help them.
M. Shibanov, “Celebration of the wedding contract,” 1777. Photo: ru.wikipedia.org
According to custom, various things were hidden in the marriage bed that had ritual significance and served the newlyweds as a talisman against the evil intentions of ill-wishers and provided them with happiness and prosperity (rye sheaves, bags full of flour, feather beds). The matrimonial bed was covered with a white bedspread with embroidery. Logs and juniper branches were hidden under the bed. In addition, you could see a poker and a frying pan there - they served to scare away all evil spirits from the newlyweds. The logs were hidden so that the spouses would have many children.
The young couple was taken to the bedroom. They were accompanied by a cheerful crowd of guests, consisting of friends, matchmakers, relatives and wedding invitees. The so-called “farewell” was a noisy and cheerful event, during which songs and jokes of an obscene nature were heard, as well as advice to the newlyweds. The friend was supposed to beat the bed with a whip in order to drive out the evil spirits that could be hiding there. A mandatory wedding ritual was a ransom, which was paid to the women who were bedridden.
S. I. Gribkov, “Wedding Blessing”, 1886. Photo: ru.wikipedia.org
After the obligatory rituals, the newlyweds were finally left alone. The door to the bedchamber was locked. A cellman was supposed to stand guard at the closed door. But often relatives lingered there and, without embarrassment, spied on what was happening in the marital bedchamber.
The young people, left alone, strengthened their strength by treating themselves to chicken meat and bread. The choice of dishes was not accidental. They guaranteed the couple a large offspring.
After the meal, the young woman knelt down in front of her husband and took off his shoes, thereby showing humility and obedience. Afterwards, she was supposed to ask her husband for permission to lie next to him on the bed. After which intimacy took place between the newlyweds.
N. Petrov, “Bride's Bridesmaid” Photo: artchive.ru
If the young woman turned out to be a virgin, the marital union was recognized as valid, since it was physically confirmed. This circumstance was announced publicly to the guests. The newlyweds again appeared at the wedding feast or guests came to their bedchamber and celebrated the wedding until the morning with the young spouses.
Innocence was the main attribute of the wedding ceremony. The main event of the celebration was the demonstration to the guests of a young shirt, which was supposed to be stained with virgin blood.
If it turned out that the young woman had not preserved her purity before marriage, she was considered dishonest. This was a great shame not only for the girl, but also for her relatives. A collar was put on the father and mother of the dishonest bride, and the girl herself was returned to her father's house immediately after the wedding.
K. E. Makovsky, “Wedding feast in a boyar family of the 17th century,” 1883. Photo: ru.wikipedia.org
Having lost her virginity, the newlywed became “young.” She was dressed as a married woman should be.
All wedding customs were observed by our ancestors with special care, because otherwise the young spouses were in danger of experiencing poverty and being left without offspring.
Tags: wedding traditions, wedding rituals, virginity, wedding night, Rus'
Innocence as the main attribute
The virginity and chastity of the bride was considered important in the life of a young married couple. If a girl was not chaste, then shame would be brought upon her and her family. A man, at his own discretion, could return his chosen one back to her father’s house.
The chastity of the groom’s words was also confirmed by the bloody shirt. However, not in all cases the man agreed to show everyone the blood on his wife’s shirt. Therefore, he could confirm this fact only in words.
After a man and a woman had sexual intercourse, they were considered young and young. The day after the wedding, the woman was dressed in the outfit of a married lady, and the appropriate headdress was placed on her head. It was believed that this is what promises the family well-being and family happiness. Therefore, none of their young people neglected this ritual.
Whip in the bedroom
They didn’t think about erotic delights back then; the church did not approve of sexual “arts.” Although such an accessory for modern erotic entertainers as a whip still appeared in the Old Slavic bedroom. The friend beat the bed with it in order to ward off evil spirits.
As for the rest, the main thing was to deflower the bride, and visually, so that a red spot would form on the white sheet (it certainly was). This sheet was then dragged throughout the village in celebration, pots were beaten (the more shards, the more children) and the houses were decorated with towels embroidered with red threads.
But if there was no stain, there will be no shame. According to the rules, the matchmaker and parents of the dishonest newlywed were supposed to hang a collar around her neck. They brought my father a glass of wine with a holey bottom. But in general, such an ending was extremely rare. Those who were smarter cut the rooster in advance and used its blood. Often the groom was in the know, and sometimes his relatives were too. What to do - life is life.
Wedding night among Russians nowadays
Wedding night in Ancient Rus'.
Currently, there are no strict rules regarding the first wedding night. Absolutely every family is free to spend it in its own way. There are almost no couples left who get married as virgins. Most married people live together even before marriage, being in sexual intimacy.
Despite this, newlyweds try to especially celebrate and celebrate their wedding night.
That is why they often rent hotel rooms, go to warm countries, or arrange surprises for each other in the form of role-playing games.
This is a night that should be remembered for a long time. Therefore, even when two people live together for a long time, they must try and organize the night so that there is something to remember. After all, this particular night is shrouded in special romance, mystery and love.
Right of the first night in the Middle Ages
The right of the first wedding night
In the Middle Ages in Europe, a feudal lord, also known as a lord, could be the first man for a girl who entered into marriage. The right of the first night was considered a blessing: the newly-made husband tried in every possible way to thank the lord for the honor. Gratitude was shown with money or gifts. If the bride and groom did not want to follow the tradition, then the owner could be bought off if there was money for it.
The rulers of European countries looked at this custom differently. In 1486, King Ferdinand of Spain issued a decree that prohibited nobles from sharing beds with commoners. In France, on the contrary, the right of the first night was respected. Even monks could participate in it if they had their own lands and servants to work on them.
If the bride went to the lord on her wedding night, her family was exempt from paying taxes for a year. Often children were born after the first night, in which case they were recognized as the bastards of the lord. He did not take part in the upbringing, but provided financial assistance.
Many lords enjoyed the right of the first night until old age. When illness came, he transferred his rights to his son, brother or faithful servant.
Bottom line
In Rus', perhaps, there were some of the most democratic rules for the first wedding night. It was believed that spouses should not have sex in different positions after marriage. Their only position could be missionary, where they lie facing each other. All other positions were considered unspiritual, and anal sex was especially punished by the church.
Therefore, subsequently the sexual life of the newlyweds was quite monotonous and typical, so as not to anger God and the church canons. Despite this, the Russians had their first night, and it required obligatory physical intimacy with confirmation of the bride’s chastity. Only the husband could have sexual intercourse. All other people were not allowed to see the young girl.
Sacred sacraments
In ancient times, the wedding ceremony and the first night of marriage were of greater importance. This action symbolized the transition from one life to another, akin to death and birth. At this moment, the foundation of the future family is laid, and the girl figuratively “dies” in the house of her mother and father and is reborn in the house of her husband.
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Immediately after the ceremony, the spouses went to the house of the husband's parents. The bed was prepared like this: sacks of flour and grain (a symbol of future wealth) were placed on a flooring made of boards, and pillows and mattresses were placed on top. The sheet was embroidered with special patterns. A poker or log was placed under the bed. All these elements carried their sacred meaning, providing young people with health, wealth and happiness in the future.
The spouses were locked alone in the room. A guard was left at the door to guard the peace of the young people.
Left alone, the newlyweds ate chicken and bread together. This action was also part of the marriage ritual. In Ancient Rus', a patriarchal system reigned; the wife was subordinate to her husband in everything. To go to bed, she had to take off her husband's shoes and ask his permission.
