First wedding night in Islam: customs
The religious movement of Islam is popular among many nationalities. Currently, more and more people are joining this belief.
Such wide popularity is explained by the fact that Islam has clear laws and prohibitions that allow one to grow and develop as a spiritual and highly moral person. This applies to both ordinary and family wedding life.
Muslim customs
Previously, there was a custom according to which, after the first wedding night, a white sheet with traces of blood was taken out. This testified to the girl’s purity. Currently, this is considered an outdated tradition that no one adheres to.
The girl and the boy remain together on their wedding night only after the beautiful lady brings her entire dowry to her husband. Interestingly, by the first night she should have accumulated approximately 40 sets of blankets, pillows and bed linens. Moreover, each of these sets must have handmade embroidery.
Why are Arab women afraid of their wedding night?
Before the actual act of intimacy, young spouses are required to read two prayers. In the first, they ask God for blessings. In the second prayer, the husband and wife calm down and relax a little. It is necessary not to be very tense on this day.
In any nationality, the young bride and groom must be sober before an important event in their lives. Immediately before intimacy, the man gives the woman a glass of milk and a cup of honey, which will symbolize health and a happy, sweet life.
Wedding night in the Caucasus
Everyone knows that the man is in charge in the Caucasus. At the same time, he has a dominant role not only in everyday life, but also in bed. Since all girls getting married are virgins, they behave quite modestly and intelligently. Beautiful girls are shy, not knowing how to behave with a man. Here the young man must take charge.
He is forbidden to take his wife by force. He should be incredibly affectionate and gentle. It is believed that it is the first wedding night that determines how good and harmonious a married couple’s sex life will be. Of course, a girl should not deny her man anything.
But at the same time, she may become averse to sex due to her husband’s inept actions. That is why the first and main task of any spouse is to make the woman as supportive as possible. And this can be achieved with the help of basic affection and care.
Chechens' first wedding night
The timing of the first wedding night is noteworthy. It is permissible to organize it only on the third day of the wedding. Accordingly, people drink and party for several days, and after that the first wedding night can be officially organized. The wedding night among the Chechens is an important rite before starting their life together.
The bride should be taken to the bedroom by her married friends to help her prepare for her wedding night. At this time, the man reads the Koran, after which he puts on a special traditional costume. This outfit is given to him by the bride's relatives as a sign of respect and special veneration.
After a man has read the prayer, he must close the book and begin sexual intercourse. All this time, the bride dutifully waits for her chosen one.
At the same time, in Chechnya there is still a widespread custom according to which young people do not even know each other before the wedding. Such couples are allowed to do without intimacy on this night. If they mutually desire, they can get acquainted and communicate quite closely in private.
How do they spend their wedding night in Dagestan?
In some ancient villages of Dagestan, ancient customs still exist. According to them, a woman and a man came together in a fight. The one who won and was considered the winner. At the same time, it cannot be said that women have always been the weaker sex. Often she could confront her lover on the same level.
Before the night itself, the woman was put on special clothes, which had many knots on them. The man's task was to untie all the existing knots. Men were prohibited from using daggers and other sharp objects. The wedding night in Dagestan is an important stage after the wedding.
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Respect for the girl subsequently depended on how long she managed to hold out. As soon as the man untied the last knot, he could take possession of the girl. Often the fight ended in a draw on the first night, then the same thing awaited everyone on the second.
Only spouses could be in the room; no one else was allowed to enter the room.
The sacrament of the first wedding night among the Arabs
Arabs take the issue of the wedding night seriously. For them, the innocence and chastity of a girl is of great importance. Along with the joy of marriage, every young lady experiences fear of the sacrament of the first wedding night. According to statistics, most Arab women are afraid of physiological intimacy because they do not understand what it is and what it will lead to.
The problem of the first wedding night is quite acute. It is with this that they turn to famous psychologists and therapists. The reason lies in the secrecy and isolation of friends and relatives. It is strictly forbidden to tell how the first intimacy went even to the closest people.
This is a completely normal practice that prohibits discussing family relationships. This is what is recognized in the Islamic concept of modesty. This gives rise to great fear among brides.
In fact, there is nothing scary or frightening about the first intimacy of Arab families. The horror arises due to the young ladies’ ignorance.
Azerbaijanis' first wedding night
Muslim wedding night.
Egnya becomes popular among Azerbaijanis on the first wedding night. This is a special figure that carries high significance in the life of every young family. Yegnya explains sex education to young people and the need for their wedding night. This is an experienced person who explains to both the man and the girl how to behave during the first intimacy.
After the first wedding night, Yegnya looks at the sheet and looks for traces of blood. If she doesn’t find them, she first informs the man about it. The husband already decides what to do with the bride. He can forgive her and continue to live with her, or he can kick her out of the house in shame.
Conducting a nikkah ceremony in Islam
When all the pre-wedding rituals are completed, it is time for the actual wedding. The conclusion of nikah can also take place without the presence of the bride, from whom only consent to the marriage is required. The bride can be represented by her wali (guardian): father, brother, paternal uncle, son, or the man's immediate paternal relatives.
Legally, a new family union is confirmed after a wedding ceremony or nikah - this can happen in the registry office or city hall. For Muslims, the wedding celebration itself can take place a few days after the wedding ceremony or nikah and a visit to the mayor's office, and not only Muslims, but also representatives of other faiths can attend the wedding celebration.
In Islam, exchanging wedding rings is not a Muslim tradition, nor is giving a wedding ring to the bride and groom in a Muslim wedding a mandatory or desirable act.
The Nikah ceremony may include several important stages, depending on the traditions and customs of Muslim society:
- Delivering a marriage sermon: The marriage sermon at a Muslim wedding is delivered by the imam or qadi who conducts the marriage, but sometimes the groom himself can read the wedding sermon. The wedding sermon begins with praising Allah, after which the verses of the Koran are read, which preach obedience and fear of God, after which the sermon ends with instructions that mutual understanding and fidelity should reign in the family.
- Saying a prayer for unity and prosperity in the family - this prayer is said in order to unite the bride, groom and their relatives.
- Next, it should be mentioned what kind of marriage gift or mahr the groom gave to his future wife.
- This is followed by an invitation to guests to the wedding, when each of the invitees is obliged to come and they also draw attention to the fact that drinking alcohol at an Islamic wedding is prohibited.
- Next, the groom reads a prayer for the blessing of his new family; a prayer is made to Allah to protect the new family from troubles and misfortunes.
Interesting Facts
Surprisingly, most families do not even engage in sexual intimacy on their wedding night. As a rule, this is a boy and a girl who are complete strangers to each other. Accordingly, none of them has the desire to immediately get closer so quickly. This step is especially difficult for girls. It is not uncommon for wives to undress in front of their husbands only weeks after their wedding.
If during the wedding ceremony the bride has her critical days, then all intimacy is postponed. A man is prohibited from harassing a woman, as this is punishable.
The bride and groom try to decorate and diversify their outfit as much as possible. It is believed that richly embroidered and decorated clothes fuel interest in each other. Often the bedroom itself, where the first intimacy takes place, is furnished with original decoration.
After the official marriage ceremony, a man must have sexual intimacy with his woman at least once every 4 months.
In the event that this is not the first marriage for a woman and a man, then they spend 3 nights in a row. If, however, the wedding takes place for the first time, then the number of nights increases to 7.
Great Sacrament
In Islam, the wedding night is considered a special period after the wedding. A girl who has just left her parents learns for the first time what a man is. By her upbringing, she is very modest and at the same time innocent. A man should be especially careful and careful with her.
The prophet himself said that women are like flowers, and their petals are fragile and tender. Therefore, on the first night, the husband must behave very carefully with his young wife, imagining a vulnerable flower in front of him.
The first wedding night of the newlyweds begins with prayer. Then the young people treat each other with various sweets and juice, after which they ask Allah in prayers to fill their lives with love, happiness and abundance.
Namaz itself has a strong psychological effect; it helps newly-made spouses to tune in to the right relationship. According to Islam, close contact is not required on the wedding night. Everything should happen in an atmosphere of love and tenderness, and if this time falls on physiologically unfavorable days for a woman, intimacy should be postponed to another time.
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Sterlitamak
Question:
What should you do on your wedding night?
Answer:
Desirable actions on the first wedding night:
1)
put your hand on your wife’s head and say: “Bismillahi (in the name of Allah)” and ask for His blessings in marriage.
It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “When one of you gets married, let him put his hand on his wife’s forehead and say “Bismillahi.” Allahumma inni as'aluka min khairiha wa hairi ma jalabtaha 'alaihi, wa 'auzu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma jalabtaha 'alaihi. (In the name of Allah. O Allah, I ask You for the good of her (wife), good offspring, protection from her evil and from ungodly offspring."
2)
after this, it is advisable for the newlyweds to perform two
rak'ahs of prayer
and read after it the following
doga
: “Allahumma barik li fi ahli wa barik lahum fi, Allahumma ijma' baynana ma jama'ta bihairin, wa farrik baynana iza farrakta ila khairin (Oh, Allah, bless me in living together with my wife, and her with me. O Allah, establish goodness between us, and if divorce befalls us, then separate us in goodness."
3)
It is advisable to set the table with food and drinks on the second day of marriage and invite relatives, loved ones, and Islamic scholars. It is reported that when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) got married, he was given a cup of milk, he drank from it, and then handed the cup to Gaisha (may Allah be pleased with her), his wife, and she lowered her head in embarrassment.
4)
In order to overcome the girl’s feelings of modesty and embarrassment, the young man should talk to her, joke, caress her when they are alone. It is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “You do not attack your wife like an animal, let there be a message between you.” “What message?” - they asked him. “Tender conversation and kisses,” replied the Prophet. In general, on the first night of marriage, it is advisable for newlyweds to only get to know each other better and communicate, and to begin their married life the next night.
5)
Before marital relations, it is advisable for the husband to read the doga: “Bismillahi, Allahumma janibna shshaitana, wa janib shshaitana ma razaktana (In the name of Allah. O Allah, remove the shaitan from us and from those with whom you will give us).” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever reads this doga before intimacy with his wife, as a result of which a boy or girl is born, then the Shaitan will never harm this child in the future.”
6)
All types of sexual relations are permitted in any position, provided that this occurs in the vagina. The Koran says: “Your wives are a field (field) for you; go to your field whenever you wish and as you wish.” However, it is still desirable that it be decent and not too provocative.
7)
After sexual intercourse, it is advisable for the husband and wife to immediately bathe; if this is not possible, then they need to at least perform ritual ablution (wudu). Eating, drinking and sleeping without this is extremely undesirable. Gabdullah bin Qais (may Allah be pleased with him) said that he asked Gaisha (may Allah be pleased with her), the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “How did the Prophet behave after marital intimacy, did he bathe before going to bed or after it?” . Gaisha replied: “He did both. Sometimes I bathed before going to bed or performed ablution and slept.” However, it should be noted that in the morning, after the night ablution, bathing is still mandatory.
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