All nations of the world have their own wedding night traditions. The first moment of intimacy between newly-made spouses has a sacred meaning - it should contribute to the birth of a new life. And all rituals and ceremonies are aimed precisely at this. However, sometimes they take strange forms and can cause confusion or even disgust.
For example, in South Korea, a young husband is hit on the heels with raw fish before being sent to the newlywed’s bedroom. In the Philippines, spouses are prohibited from having sex on their wedding night—they must simply sleep next to each other. In Polynesia, on the contrary, the bride must enter into intimate relationships not only with the groom, but also with all male guests. But the strangest and wildest traditions of the first wedding night are noted among the peoples of Africa.
Rwandans
Residents of the state of Rwanda practice celebratory beatings on their wedding night. And this is not just a dramatization, but real violence. A young wife must beat her husband in such a way as to prove her dominance in the family and leave marks on him. It's no surprise that young girls go all out and beat their men mercilessly with everything they can get their hands on. But husbands do not remain in debt either. Rwandans believe that in this way newly-made spouses get rid of negativity towards each other, and after that they can enter into intimate relationships.
Himba tribe
One of the African tribes living in Namibia very carefully puts beauty on the bride’s head on the wedding night. The hair is generously lubricated with animal fat, and a complexly designed, bulky and, at first glance, uncomfortable headdress is put on top. It is worth assuming that considerable skill is required from the groom to get rid of such decoration, and if he fails to do this, then he will not have a full-fledged wedding night.
Innocence as the main attribute
The virginity and chastity of the bride was considered important in the life of a young married couple. If a girl was not chaste, then shame would be brought upon her and her family. A man, at his own discretion, could return his chosen one back to her father’s house.
The chastity of the groom’s words was also confirmed by the bloody shirt. However, not in all cases the man agreed to show everyone the blood on his wife’s shirt. Therefore, he could confirm this fact only in words.
After a man and a woman had sexual intercourse, they were considered young and young. The day after the wedding, the woman was dressed in the outfit of a married lady, and the appropriate headdress was placed on her head. It was believed that this is what promises the family well-being and family happiness. Therefore, none of their young people neglected this ritual.
Berbers
We are accustomed to the fact that intimacy is a purely individual matter, especially if it is the sacrament of the wedding night. And representatives of the African Berber tribe are sure that such an important act should be performed in front of witnesses. And even better - in a collective format. What if the young people don’t know what to do with each other? Advice will help here, and, most importantly, visual tips from older comrades. Therefore, on the wedding night, not only the bride and groom, but also several married couples with extensive experience indulge in intimacy in the same room.
Time spending
Russian wedding night.
For the Russian people, the timing of the marriage ceremony is important. It is based not only on the wedding itself, but also on the possibility of sexual intimacy. It is believed that it is unacceptable to have sex during Lent and other forbidden church days.
That is why the wedding had to be scheduled together with a church minister, who would definitely authorize this event. Very often, men guessed a woman’s cycle, because they didn’t want to just sleep on the first night. After all, a girl with menstruation is still considered sinful in church rules, so intimacy with her is impossible.
Shona tribe
Wedding night before the wedding - such a strange custom exists in the small African Shona tribe. Moreover, when it will be, the bride decides, and for the groom it becomes a surprise. The girl is obliged to make a choice after the engagement and before the official marriage ceremony. In this way, the future wife tests her chosen one - how resourceful and sharp-witted he is, how well he can cope with unexpected problems. But after the pre-wedding night, the wedding takes place the next morning.
Seeing off the newlyweds
Wedding night in Rus'.
The farewell to the bed took place with noise and dancing. It was believed that in this way all evil spirits were driven out, because they would not dare to come when there were so many cheerful and loud people.
Therefore, as soon as the procession departed from the bride’s house to the groom’s, everyone sang songs loudly and danced. Men often told obscene jokes, thereby setting the mood in the right mood.
As soon as all the people approached the house, only the groom’s close friend and the sister who made the bed could enter the room. The friend used a rod to knock out all the evil spirits and evil spirits from the bed. After which he had to pay money to the groom's sister for making the bed.
Zulu tribe
These people have a strict requirement for the bride to remain virgin until marriage. But how she vomited herself is tested on her wedding night in a very original way. After the wedding feast, dance competitions are held between the families of the bride and groom. In the finale, the newly-made wife must raise her leg high, and the husband’s mother must look under her skirt and declare whether she is a young virgin or not.
Features of the first wedding night and intimate life in Rus'
With baptism and the establishment of Orthodoxy, morals and life in Rus' underwent some changes. This concerned, in particular, the attitude towards the first sexual contact. Yes, in some villages the traditions of “trial” connections are still preserved.
But church dogmas increasingly instructed people to choose one sexual companion for their entire lives. And, if it was much easier for men to hide their adventures, women began to be required to maintain their virginity until their wedding night.
Since the first sexual intercourse was to take place during the wedding ceremony, the date was carefully chosen. After all, during Lent and a number of church holidays, making love was not allowed. And the priest could refuse the wedding.
The first connection itself was called the “podklet”. The fact is that many people often lived in the huts at the same time, and the bed of the young people was arranged temporarily somewhere in a separate, cool place: the basement of the house, a closet or a barn. Not the least role here was played by the “beds”.
They could be close relatives or matchmakers. They performed a number of rituals: they placed amulets against damage, sheaves or bags of flour for wealth, as well as a number of enchanted herbs for health. In addition, ritual logs were always placed under the bed, which were supposed to help the young people acquire healthy offspring.
Before the young people lay on the bed, the boyfriend had to whip her with a whip or twig to rid her of evil spirits. And then generously reward the bed-women who tried to do everything as it should be. Then the spouses were treated to chicken and bread - ritual dishes that symbolized fertility.
In addition, before intercourse itself, different localities had their own rituals. Someone's wife had to take off her husband's boots, demonstrating submission. In other villages, the husband unbraided his wife’s hair or took off her headdress, as a sign that she was moving to a different status. Usually, after the first wedding night, women began to wear hairstyles and jewelry that were different from girls.
Often there was a guard at the door. According to the idea, his task was to protect the young from evil forces. But, more often than not, he spied on the process in order to report to the guests that intimacy had taken place. Although the guests themselves (especially the groom’s side) often remained at the door to eavesdrop. Sometimes the bed-makers, at the request of the parents, made the bed creaky so that everyone could hear that the process was underway.
The most important stage of the ceremony was the entry of a guard or a number of guests into the basement after the young couple had sex. It was necessary to obtain the new wife's shirt with traces of blood. In this way, the girl’s honesty was proven. And traces of other liquids indicated the possibility of the groom becoming the father of a family. The lack of signs of defloration was a shame. The woman and her family were publicly shamed, considered deceivers, and the matchmaker could even be beaten and have a collar put on her neck.
True, in the southern regions there was another interesting custom. If the bride “bowed on three icons” that she was pure before her husband and accused the groom of inability, then another public check was arranged. Moreover, the “inspector” could no longer be her betrothed, but one of her relatives. As a rule, they chose a man who had many children of his own.
That is, someone who was definitely capable of sexual intercourse. If, in front of everyone, the “inspector” succeeded in defloring the young woman, then shame awaited the groom’s family. They had to additionally give gifts to the woman’s family for doubting. In addition, comic punishments of an incompetent husband could be carried out.
By the way, in this case the girl herself could demand to go back to her parents. After all, she was also interested in not being left without children. But they were in no hurry to use this right. Although it is very interesting how, after such proceedings, people managed not to hold a grudge against each other and live together all their lives. Probably, our ancestors knew how to sincerely forgive.
Needless to say, the most attractive and sexy was considered to be a fairly plump lady, with good breasts, a wide pelvis and a little fat on the hips. All this pointed to her health and ability to bear children. Others looked at her with envy. Men were also attracted to the girl’s “proud figure,” that is, she had to walk straight.
This, you see, is not so simple, considering how much she worked. In order to attract the attention of her husband, our great-grandmothers had their own interesting ways. The fact is that women's legs often remained hidden behind long skirts. Therefore, the wives, when setting the table, tried to “accidentally” pick up the hem higher, so that their loved one could once again notice their wife’s ankles. But the display of breasts was not so attractive. Perhaps because the woman almost constantly fed her children with it.
By the way, a woman in Rus' had to demonstrate submission to her husband and not contradict him, even if he was wrong. Therefore, in the villages it was believed that it was impossible to refuse a husband. If his desire suddenly arose during Lent or other holidays, he should have been reminded of this. But, if the ardor did not fade, people believed that he was taking this sin upon himself. It's always like this! At first she twisted the hem mentioned in front of the man, and then, like, it’s not her fault.
