What should the first night of a wedding be like for the happy groom and his chosen one? Of course, full of romance, mutual feelings and beautiful sex. This is exactly the program of action that is expected when preparing for wedding celebrations. However, dreams, when faced with harsh reality, do not always come true. At weddings there are enough curious and frankly ridiculous accidents that turn the great sacrament into a farce, or even leave the newlyweds no chance to get to the wedding bed. However, the script of every wedding necessarily includes a moment of privacy for the happy young spouses. These are the traditions that have come to us from time immemorial.
First wedding night in ancient times
In different countries and in different centuries, the first night after the wedding passed differently. Much depended on the customs, beliefs and way of life of the people or tribe. Until now, in remote corners of the Earth, local tribes observe the most incredible rituals. Thus, among some African peoples, the elder women of the tribe may be present at the sacrament of consolidation of marriage bonds, or the bride is supposed to resist with all her might, as if she were being attacked by a rapist. But today we will take a closer look at the customs of Medieval Europe and Ancient Rus'.
Wedding night in the Middle Ages
For hundreds of years, starting with the slave system, the master had the right to lie with the young bride on the marital bed instead of the legal husband. A custom that was wild for us was perceived as something ordinary. The peasant could try to ransom his bride by giving the lord something valuable, money or food. In most cases, the gentlemen willingly accepted this “tax on the deprivation of innocence.” But there was a possibility that the price would be prohibitive, especially if the girl was distinguished by beauty or the lord wanted to show his presumptuous subordinate his place. In France, nobles traded their rights by offering girls to the highest bidder. In different centuries, this custom was either prohibited or allowed again.
In the Scandinavian countries, on their wedding night, the clergyman took the girl into the depths of the forest. There he lit a fire and sacrificed the animal, after which he returned the girl to her husband. It was believed that the ritual would give the young wife numerous, strong sons.
And in Scotland, guests tried with all their might to prevent the sacrament of intercourse between the newlyweds, they delayed them on the way to the room, made noise and made jokes under the windows.
And in the Philippines, on this night after the wedding, the newlyweds were forbidden to have sex. And this ban is not out of nowhere: when drinking alcohol at a wedding, there is a high risk of conceiving a sick child.
The first night after the wedding in Rus'
In Rus', great importance was attached to the first wedding night. The formation of a new family was accompanied by many beautiful rituals and sacraments that had a deep sacred meaning.
Before the advent of Christianity in Rus', morals were freer. A girl could be sexually active before marriage and even give birth to a child. Men, even if they had nothing to do with the conception of the child, willingly took such girls as wives. After all, her fertility was proven by the birth of a healthy baby. And it was not customary for children in the family to be divided into their own and those of others. He who educates is the father. Moreover, there was a custom when a close relative, most often a brother, married the wife of the deceased and took custody of their children.
With the baptism of Rus', the bride's virginity was placed on a pedestal. A virgin who had lost her, even as a result of violence, was no longer “pure”; she was declared fallen, accessible. From the point of view of the Church, only a legal husband had the right to transfer a girl to the status of a married woman through intercourse. However, everything is not so simple. In Rus' and, later, in the Russian Empire, there were slaves and serfs who had no rights. And taking the girl you liked to your bed was taken for granted. Everything depended on the master’s conscience and principles.
Weddings were celebrated mainly in the fall, when the harvest was harvested and the bins were full. But not during Lent or on church holidays. After the wedding, the young spouses came to the house of the husband or his parents, where they were to live in the future. And they retired to a cold room (bathhouse, barn, basement).
The bride's dowry was laid on the marriage bed - mattresses or feather beds, pillows, bed linen, blankets. Wishing the young couple strong and numerous offspring, they surrounded the bed with filled ears of corn, tied into sheaves, and sacks of flour. Before the young man lay down on a prepared bed, he was beaten three times with a whip to drive away all evil forces. How was your first wedding night after the wedding?
- A day before the “hour X”, the bride began to prepare for the significant event. She underwent numerous rituals designed to cleanse her of evil spirits and bestow fertility and happiness in family life. In addition, songs were sung in which the girl said goodbye to her previous life, her family. During all this time, she fasted, as it was believed that it was easier to get pregnant on an empty stomach.
- The newlyweds were escorted to the room cheerfully, in a crowd, and remained under the doors and windows until the morning in order to drive away evil forces from the newlyweds’ bedroom.
- In the bedroom, the newlyweds had a late dinner, consisting of poultry and bread, so that the offspring would be strong and numerous.
- The girl had to take off her husband’s shoes and wash his feet, like a submissive and faithful wife.
- The next morning, bloody sheets or a shirt were solemnly shown to all honest people. Some ethnic groups even hung proof of the bride's virginity on a gate or a high pole, like a banner. A girl who did not retain her virginity before marriage was considered defamed, and she could well be returned to the clan in disgrace.
If everything went well, the young wife was presented with gifts and finally accepted into her husband’s family, and the guests rejoiced wildly.
Muslims' first wedding night: interesting facts
In addition to Islamic customs, the celebration of the first wedding night among Muslims has a number of additions that make the responsibilities of the spouses more flexible. This makes life easier for spouses in some current situations, namely:
- Few realize that sex on the first wedding night is not obligatory for Muslims. After the wedding, the relationship between the spouses is their own matter. At first, the wife may not even undress in front of her husband. And their relationship can come down to conversations and household chores. Such norms are explained by the fact that if a Muslim marriage is performed according to all the rules, the young people are completely unfamiliar with each other. Naturally, in such an environment, you first need to overcome embarrassment and awkwardness - stock up on time.
- If the bride has critical days on her wedding day, then intimacy on the first wedding night of a Muslim woman is postponed. This is a forbidden action in Shariah, in other words, it is haram.
- Beautiful attire is an integral part of the first wedding night. The luxury of outfits will warm up interest in each other and help put the young people in the right mood. Bright decoration of the room is also welcome.
- According to Sharia, after marriage, the husband undertakes to have sexual intercourse with his wife at least once every four months.
- During marital intimacy, there should be no strangers in the newlyweds’ room; this rule also applies to animals.
- If the young wife is innocent, the husband spends seven nights with her, and if the marriage is not the wife’s first, three nights are enough.
- According to Sharia, the bride must be a virgin before marriage. But if her husband has doubts about her, he cannot think badly of her - this is a sin. It is unacceptable to insult and oppress your spouse solely on the basis of your assumptions.
The first wedding night is the sacrament of two hearts. Despite some strict and unusual Muslim wedding traditions, Sharia maintains trusting and tender relationships between spouses. What interesting traditions do other nations support? You can get acquainted with Indian wedding traditions on our website www.svadbagolik.ru.
Modern traditions of the first wedding night
In many ways, the mentality of modern newlyweds was influenced by Hollywood films and their famous cliches, which for decades created the image of the “ideal wedding night.” Any bride will confidently say how this should happen, since she already has a ready-made scenario in her head, and the groom, brought up on the same stereotypes, will fully support her. So, how should your ideal wedding night go?
- The first wedding night entirely determines how pleasant or unpleasant your future sexual life will be. Therefore, it is simply vital to provide ideal conditions and romance. (Although, in fact, a lot depends on the mutual feelings of the spouses and their desire to get to know each other in bed, and this process stretches out for many months, if not years).
- Explicitly sexy lingerie for the bride and groom is a must. (In reality, after a hard day, the newlyweds care less about what kind of rags they are wearing).
- Silk bed linen is laid out. (Which slides so that the newlyweds risk ending up on the floor in the midst of the ceremony).
- You need to rent a room in a luxury hotel and reinforce your feelings with champagne, a bath with rose petals (or petals scattered on the bed, floor), bouquets or garlands of flowers, candles and an indispensable gift for the bride.
- You need to light scented candles, or put on air scenters, with something exciting and passionate, and turn on romantic music.
- Comment on all your and your partner’s actions, without stopping for a minute.
In principle, the action program is not bad. There is a lot you can take into account when developing your scenario for the first night with your loved one. But, at the same time, it is worth taking into account the tastes and character of both newlyweds, the presence or absence of allergies to any odors or pollen.
Preparing for the first night after the wedding
To ensure a romantic night goes without any problems, you should be concerned about finding a suitable place. The solution to this problem falls entirely on the shoulders of the groom. What can be done? If you don’t have your own house or apartment where no one will disturb you, choose the following options:
- a house at a recreation center, by a lake or in the forest;
- a room in a good hotel or inn;
- rented apartment or cottage;
- rented river or sea yacht.
You will also need clean, fresh linens, light snacks and wine. Be sure to provide soft drinks or water, since after the feast you will probably want to drink. Everything else, including flowers, music and a warm bath with a relaxing massage, is at the discretion of the groom.
The bride can please her chosen one with a sexy dance or striptease to music. To do this, you should take with you stockings, high-heeled shoes and sexy lingerie, as well as a suit to create the finished image of a timid girl, a passionate seductress or a strict mentor, depending on the preferences of your spouse.
The night after the wedding - modern realities
Young people, preparing for their wedding, dream of an unforgettable first night. They are supported by psychologists and wedding planners, recommending creating a romantic atmosphere and enjoying each other. However, life, as always, makes its own, sobering, adjustments. According to statistics, half of newlyweds do not have sex on their first night. What do they do, then?
- They are sleeping. Preparing for special events and the wedding marathon itself, which stretches throughout the day until late at night, is terribly exhausting, depriving you of strength. As a result, by the evening, the newlyweds dream of only one thing - how to quickly get to bed.
- They have fun until the morning. “Didn’t make it through” at the banquet? No problem! Close friends gather in a house or rented room with the newlyweds, and the fun continues in full swing. What kind of wedding night can there be if everyone sings karaoke or has fun in any way possible? You can also go for a walk around the city with the whole group.
- They perform feats. The tipsy young husband is Superman and Don Juan rolled into one. For the sake of his chosen one, he is ready to get the stars from heaven. If it doesn’t work out with the celestial bodies, then you can climb onto a lantern, jump from the roof, sing serenades under the windows, waking up the entire area, or run into trouble.
- They lose each other. There are often cases when the bride and groom, in the process of saying goodbye to the guests, find themselves in completely different places, where they either continue the banquet or go to bed.
- They are forced to pretend that they did not want to do “this” at all. Children, excited by the wedding and numerous guests, new emotions, do not want to sleep peacefully. They jump up, run around the rooms, ask for a drink or take them to the toilet. In 11% of cases, it is children who do not allow the newlyweds to enjoy the long-awaited intimacy. Moreover, these children are not always relatives. These could be nephews or offspring of one of the guests.
- They are happy to satiate themselves for this whole crazy day. Often, the bride and groom, due to their excitement and many worries, do not even have time to have a snack, and there is no time to eat at the banquet. In the evening, finally finding themselves in peace and quiet together, they realize that they are brutally hungry. And only one desire remains - to eat something more substantial than a morning sandwich with tea.
- They call an ambulance and go to the hospital. Unfortunately, this is also a common scenario. One of the spouses ate something inappropriate, causing such an allergic reaction that it led to intensive care. Or he received a serious injury - a cut from broken glass, a fracture after falling from a ladder or table, a severe head injury. There are also frequent cases of mass poisoning from “scorched” vodka or stale food.
- Talk to the police. This usually happens in the event of a fight, any incidents during the feast, or illegal actions on the part of the guests who “took to their chests.”
Such accidents associated with guests and a mass feast can be avoided if, instead of a traditional wedding with a banquet, you prefer an exciting foreign tour or trip to a resort. But no one is safe from funny and absurd accidents there either.
The first night of a wedding is an exciting event. The desired intimacy with the chosen one excites the senses and clouds the mind. To make your wedding night truly unforgettable, you should prepare in advance. Newlyweds should be surrounded only by pleasant things, sounds, and aromas. It would be nice if there was a small table waiting for them with their favorite snacks and drinks, and a stunning view from the window of the forest, sea or starry sky. And even if amazing sex does not happen due to fatigue, a pleasant environment and mutual tenderness will help you relax. Young spouses will be able to give each other love and warmth, so that they can later remember the most wonderful night of their lives.
Zulu tribe
These people have a strict requirement for the bride to remain virgin until marriage. But how she vomited herself is tested on her wedding night in a very original way. After the wedding feast, dance competitions are held between the families of the bride and groom. In the finale, the newly-made wife must raise her leg high, and the husband’s mother must look under her skirt and declare whether she is a young virgin or not.
