Why is it necessary to get married in a church in Russia?

Repeated

Wedding is one of the seven great sacraments of the Orthodox Church, a mystery that binds two destinies together. During this ceremony, the groom symbolizes Christ, and the bride symbolizes the Church. The oaths of love and fidelity given during the ceremony are sacred, and therefore divorce or debunking does not exist for the Orthodox Church.
The conditions under which the bishop will allow a second wedding are limited, requiring a personal petition and the provision of compelling evidence.

Reasons preventing the ceremony

There are other reasons that prevent participation in the ceremony. The following are not allowed to attend the sacrament:

• atheists and representatives of other faiths (an exception is possible for Catholics or Protestants, but only after a conversation with a priest and a promise that the children will grow up in the Orthodox tradition);
• people who have not officially formalized the breakup of their previous union or who have already been married three times (and even a civil union is considered);
• newlyweds who are blood or spiritual relatives to each other;
• couples who have not registered their relationship with the registry office;
• incompetent or minor;
• women over 60 and men over 70, since after this age childbearing is physically impossible (the rule has a large number of exceptions).

Rituals in other faiths

The sacred sacrament is not alien to different religions, but it has a number of features that distinguish it from those familiar to an Orthodox person.

Marriages between Muslims are arranged by agreement of parents, but Islam does not recognize forced unions. During the wedding, the Koran is read, and the newlyweds say vows to each other. It is important that religion allows polygamy, so the mullah will unite the ties of the young for the third and fourth time. And it’s easy for a Muslim to get a divorce - just express your intention to your wife three times.

Islam allows a man to marry a bride belonging to a different religion. However, a woman does not have such a right, since children in families traditionally accept the faith of their father.

Catholics marry through marriage vows, and the priest is considered a witness who has the right to seal the marital union before God. Moreover, the sacrament of marriage can be declared invalid if it is discovered that the oath was pronounced under duress, or if either spouse had previously taken monasticism.

Catholicism allows marriage with a representative of another faith or even atheists. For such a person it is not even necessary to say lunch. However, Catholics do not accept divorce. In order for a couple to be dethroned, an application is submitted to special church tribunals, which very rarely grant such a request.

Protestants get married according to customs similar to Catholic ones. The only difference is that the bride enters the temple after the groom and, most often, she is led by her father. Another feature of the Protestant faith is that alcohol is completely excluded from the celebration. But you can celebrate your wedding right in the church.

Jews prohibit chuppah, a wedding ceremony, unless both spouses profess Judaism. The sacrament occurs only on Saturdays; the groom goes up to the Torah and waits for his bride. The rabbi blesses the couple, and the new husband puts on the wedding ring, saying special words. It is customary to repeat parting words from a spiritual mentor within a week after the wedding.

Selecting a day according to the Orthodox calendar

When can you plan your wedding? It does not have to happen immediately after the painting at the registry office. Often married couples come to such a decision at an age, after many years of marriage, when there are children and even grandchildren, and feelings have long been tested by life’s adversities. The Church views this decision extremely positively, joyfully blessing a strong union at any age.

The sacrament is not performed every day. They do not get married on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, so that the wedding night does not fall on fast days or Sundays. You cannot get engaged during Lent, important church holidays - the twelfths, great ones, temple holidays, during Maslenitsa, Easter and Christmastide.
Important! Brides should remember that during critical days women do not have the right to cross the threshold of the temple, which means they should also take into account their own calendar.
It is best to check the church calendar or consult with the priest before choosing a date.

Why do you need a church wedding?

Is it necessary to undergo the sacrament of wedding, because it does not give people a guarantee that the marriage will be happy and without any special difficulties. Spouses must work together to go through all the hardships and joys that they encounter and solve problems on their own. The question arises, why then is faith needed - so that it helps people along the entire path of life.

Why do people get married - because after going through this ritual, the spouses receive God's blessing . This helps them build their marriage in unity of thought and mutual love, as well as raise their children according to Christian morality.

Before you decide to get married, you need to weigh the pros and cons: is there confidence that the spouses’ intentions are reliable and both understand the seriousness of this ritual. Married people remain spouses in Heaven. Should you get married immediately after the wedding? Each couple decides this issue independently, but it is better to first check the strength of their relationship. After all, a wedding is like a kind of test of the maturity of the spouses’ feelings.

The sacrament seals the union forever, so you need to be clearly aware of your responsibility for the integrity of the family “boat” before the Lord

Is it necessary to undergo confession and communion before the wedding? This is a loose rule and can be skipped. But true believers always try to undergo these rituals before an important matter in order to be cleansed of sins .

Why do spouses need wedding rings, a kind of infinity sign? In order to remind that a married family is created forever.

Wedding engagement rings

Dress code

In the church there is a certain dress code that must be observed by everyone present, not just newlyweds. Men enter the temple without a headdress, women, on the contrary, have their heads covered. It is obligatory to have crosses on the neck. These are the basic conditions.

For the bride

The bride should give preference to a chaste style of dress - the shoulders, neckline, and knees must be covered. Fully exposed arms are also undesirable, so it is better to choose an outfit with sleeves or add a cape to it. As a last resort, you can wear gloves, but remember that they will have to be removed before exchanging rings.

It is not necessary to use pure white for the dress and accessories; any light, pastel shade will do. You should avoid flashy red, acidic neon tones, as well as dark shades of brown, black or purple.

The bride can cover her head with a veil - in this case it is important that the accessory is attached high enough, on the top of the head, covering almost all the hair. Or choose a chastity scarf - an excellent option, presented in a variety of models - bolero, cape, scarf. Remember that according to church canons, only an innocent girl can wear a veil , which makes the use of this accessory inappropriate for pregnant brides or brides who already have children.

Important! A wedding dress should not be too tight, overly sexy, or pretentious, because the image of a bride is primarily associated with purity and purity.

Makeup is chosen to be calm and nude. You cannot paint your lips, even with colorless gloss. The fact is that you have to kiss crowns and images, and doing this with painted lips is simply indecent.

Another important point is decorations. There shouldn’t be a lot of them, and it’s better to avoid pretentious and luxurious ones altogether. No rings or rings are allowed on your hands , with the exception of a wedding ring if you are going to wear it with your wedding partner in a duet.

Choose simple shoes, without high heels, because you will have to stand motionless for almost an hour, and the witness will have to hold the crown above your head with outstretched arms.

For the groom

As for the groom and invited men, there are fewer rules for them. It is important that the outfit is formal, but not luxurious. A traditional, formal, dark-colored suit will do just fine.

Church is not a place for experimenting with your own appearance, so you should abandon unusual styles, acidic colors, and flashy details.

What is a church wedding?

What a wedding does for a family is a complex question. Some spouses receive a lot: spiritual unity, love and mutual support, while others remain in eternal strife or even get divorced.

What does it mean to get married? Not all newlyweds ask themselves this question before undergoing the sacrament. Some go to a wedding following the example of their parents or friends, for some it is just a beautiful ceremony, others obey their spiritual impulse. For spouses who do not think about what the sacrament of wedding means, you need to understand that this is a deeply spiritual, serious act, which should be approached only after fully understanding the essence.

The meaning of a married marriage is that:

• two loving people receive God's blessing for their union, as well as for the birth of children;
• the spiritual and physical of women and men are united into one whole in order to go through all the difficulties and trials, and then unite in heaven;
• this marriage is similar to the union of the Church and Christ, the husband protects and loves his wife, like Christ the Church, and the wife submits to her husband, like the Church does to Christ.

Falling in love is an easy feeling that can pass quickly. Therefore, marriages often collapse, people decide that they have met the “wrong” person and tend to immediately separate.

A wedding helps spouses understand how important their union is, which is for life.

A believing husband and wife always remember the word given to God to stay together, no matter what, and fulfill it.

Such things as betrayal and wedding are incompatible. If one of the spouses turns out to be unfaithful, then the second has the right to ask the church for a divorce. Treason, as well as renunciation of Orthodoxy, entering into a new marriage, assault or mental illness are serious grounds for this.

Preparation for the sacrament

Before the sacrament, be sure to visit the church where you are going to get married. It doesn't have to be the most luxurious cathedral in the city. Some couples, on the contrary, choose small rural parishes, full of comfort and grace.

Important! You should feel good and easy under the arches of the temple, joyful and calm.

No less important is the priest who is to perform the sacrament. Talk to the priest before the ceremony. This is necessary for him to confirm that the wedding is permitted, and for you - the priest will guide you through an exciting stage of life, so his personality must inspire trust.

If you are a church member, then the question of where to get married does not arise. The ceremony should be carried out in your church and with your confessor - this is the most correct decision. But it is still necessary to talk before the ceremony, confess, and take communion, because you should enter a new family life prepared.

Worth it or not

This is the most common question asked to the priest. According to Orthodox teachings, the family is the stronghold that provides support for the spouse, spiritual education and development, therefore a wedding is necessary and mandatory. In addition, the priests claim that the joy of love is possible only in a married marriage. And the strength that a husband or wife receives goes into social activities. For a more specific study of the opinion of the church, you need to turn to the Holy Scriptures.

So, in order to live a happy family life, the presence of carnal love is not enough. Only after the wedding ceremony does the union of souls take place. This is evidenced by some lines from the Bible:

• The family is a small church in which the wife is under the care of the husband and the husband is subject to God;
• Appeal to the Holy Trinity during the ritual brings a blessing for family happiness;
• Children born in such a marriage are already born under divine protection, their path in life is more beneficial;
• God carefully carries the family through all adversity if Christian laws are observed, prayers are heard, and the spouses treat each other humbly and patiently.

In other words, in the face of the Lord, the union of two people is such only if they are voluntarily married. An ordinary civil marriage is not considered complete from a religious point of view.

If we move away from Scripture and turn to psychological conclusions, then if young people sincerely believe in God and cannot imagine life without each other, then church ritual only contributes to a warm family climate. Some people consider a wedding to be the basis on which they build a life, give birth to children, and enjoy living together.

However, more and more newlyweds are inclined to the idea of ​​“holding back.” After all, the sacred sacrament calls for a certain responsibility. It is worth saying that if at least someone in the couple has such doubts, it is better to wait for the wedding. No one forbids you to come to church for a divine blessing after a few years. But going against your will is not the best decision.

And even more so, you should not turn to the priest for such a procedure according to the fashion trend. Still, this is a religious rite that must be approached with full awareness and faith.

The Church does not marry people who have not officially registered their marriage. At the same time, God does not recognize an unblessed union.

Based on what has been said, it is impossible to give a general answer to the question of whether it is worth undergoing the ceremony in a church or not. Much here is determined by faith in God, how true it is, and whether a person is ready to take an oath. After all, words-promises spoken in a sacred place sometimes mean much more than a stamp in a passport.

And those who attend church according to family traditions, or do not attend at all, are unlikely to be repelled in their lives by the presence or absence of the fact of a wedding. However, this is more of a psychological issue.

Attributes

In addition to the spiritual side of the issue, there is also a material one. The sacrament requires certain things that you must take with you. You can buy them in one special set or select each item separately.

You will need:

• images of the Savior and the Mother of God;
• wedding rings;
• towel;
• candles and handkerchiefs.

Icons

You will have to kiss the image in front of the altar, swearing an oath of eternal fidelity to each other. The bride holds the icon of the Mother of God and personifies the Church, the groom holds the icon of the Savior and personifies Christ.

It is best if you inherit the images from your parents. This way the symbol will be the brightest, most blessed, the most correct. But if the Orthodox tradition begins only with your family, it is not forbidden to buy new wedding icons.

Rings

Canonically, wedding rings are made from different metals. The groom brings gold, a symbol of the sun and masculinity, the bride brings silver, a sign of the moon and femininity.

During the sacrament, the newlyweds exchange rings three times, and as a result, the bride wears her husband’s gold ring, as his promise to always protect her, and the groom wears his wife’s silver ring, symbolizing her oath of eternal devotion and selfless love.

Wedding rings are a sign that, like the pectoral cross, cannot be removed throughout life. That is why you should not choose frilly, bright jewelry with large stones. You can decorate rings with engravings - most often with prayers, names of spouses, wishes, vows.

It is not forbidden to choose identical rings made of gold, silver or platinum, but other metals are prohibited. Instead of rings, wedding rings are also possible.

Important! A priest may consider luxurious multi-colored rings to be jewelry and refuse to place them on the altar for consecration.

Candles and towel

A towel is a pink or white towel. It should be large enough for both spouses to be able to stand on it. Often the edges of the towel are decorated with symbolic embroidery.

It is best to buy wedding candles in a church shop. If you are going to purchase them elsewhere, make sure that they are wax and specifically wedding ones. The bottom of the candle should be wrapped with a special scarf so that the wax does not drip onto the skin.

What to do with the attributes after?

According to tradition, all wedding symbols must be carefully preserved. You cannot throw them away or re-gift them.

The icons remain in the new family’s home, protecting the hearth. Wedding candles are lit during difficult childbirth or illness of children. The remaining attributes remain family heirlooms.

It’s worth mentioning separately about the wedding dress. It cannot be given, sold, or cut. But you can wear it again, for example, on a wedding anniversary.

How does a wedding take place and what is needed for it?

What you need to bring to church for the wedding:

• icons: the Savior and the Mother of God;
• white handbrake;
• wedding candles;
• cahors.

All these things can be purchased at the shop at the temple. The recommended pair of icons is considered wedding .

The icon of the Savior is used to bless the spouse as the protector of his family. And the icon of the Mother of God is a spouse, like a mother and keeper of the family hearth

During the wedding, witnesses also play their role. They are called recipients because they agree that the young people have decided to get married in the church. Witnesses must also be Orthodox and baptized, close people of the newlyweds.

How does the wedding take place - the whole process is divided into 2 stages : engagement and the wedding itself. After the Divine Liturgy, the bride and groom are betrothed and blessed by the priest.

After the newlyweds confirm that they are getting married voluntarily, the sacrament of Marriage begins. Crowns are placed on the heads of the bride and groom, supported by witnesses. The priest reads the sacred texts and joins the hands of the spouses. Then the young drink Cahors filled in special bowls.

Bowl with Cahors

Price

The church does not have a price list or a fixed price, so each couple leaves a donation in the amount that seems adequate to them. Poor families can be accommodated and get married for a nominal fee or free of charge.

As for the accepted donation amounts, they vary depending on the cathedral. A wedding in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow or the Kazan Cathedral in St. Petersburg will cost approximately 10,000 rubles, in lesser-known parishes - from 500 to 5,000.

What is the sacrament of marriage?

The sacrament of wedding is a sacred rite. Its meaning is that two people bare their souls to themselves, to each other and to God and enter into a marriage that is recognized not only on earth , but also in heaven.

What is the difference between a wedding and a wedding: the first is the conclusion of a legal marriage announced before society. And the second is people’s desire for unity , to create conditions in marriage where love and faith will only strengthen.

The wedding usually takes place in a church, but if desired, an outdoor ceremony can also be organized, although it will not be particularly solemn, as in a temple

Where to start preparing for the wedding: first of all, you need to approach the priest for permission. Father will explain the essence of the wedding, which is an Orthodox tradition. You should not go through the ritual just to get beautiful photos or because “it’s necessary.”

Basic rules for those who have decided to get married:

• husband and wife must be baptized;
• a man and a woman must be married, registered in the registry office;
• Before the ritual you need to go to confession and take communion.

What you need to know for those who, for whatever reason, decided to undergo a wedding ceremony abroad:

• a wedding held in another country will be recognized as legal in the homeland;
• a Christian wedding can only be held in a Christian country;
• For a wedding abroad, you will need a baptismal certificate, birth and marriage certificate (depending on the country, the list of documents may vary);
• Documents for consideration are submitted no less than a month in advance.

A wedding is only an external ritual, without sincere love and understanding of why this ceremony is needed, it will not have true meaning. First, you need to honestly admit to yourself whether you are ready to share with your spouse all the joys and sorrows and difficulties of life. Wedding couples receive great support from the Almighty , but they must make efforts to preserve and strengthen the relationship themselves.

People often wonder whether an unmarried marriage is fornication - if a man and a woman love each other, are faithful in their relationship and have registered it in the registry office, then they have the right to turn to the wedding when they consider it necessary.

The whole truth is that a righteous life in an unmarried marriage cannot be considered wrong or sinful, and is recognized by the church

There is a misconception that marriage can be debunked. The bishops are meeting the requests of spouses who have separated and are already in relationships with other people, so that they do not fall into even greater sin.

Therefore, to the question of how many times you can get married, the answer is clear - one, wedding and divorce are incompatible things . If such a need arises, how to get married a second time? You need to file a petition for debunking. Only the highest priest, the diocesan bishop, can do this. He looks at the situation and allows me to give her a chance for a new marriage . The answer may be negative if a person has violated the vow of fidelity made before the Lord.

Should you fast?

Three days before the wedding, you should limit yourself to animal food and intimate relationships. This is done so that the young people tune in spiritually. On the wedding day itself, you should not eat, drink, or smoke from midnight, because in the morning you will have to attend the liturgy.

Is it possible to eat if you are in poor health? If you have medical contraindications or are afraid of fainting, then be sure to discuss this issue with the priest. The church makes concessions, and if you wish, you can drink sweet tea or yogurt before the ceremony.

What not to do after?

After the ceremony, you can celebrate such an important event, but you should not throw a merry feast with overly frank or loud entertainment. Karaoke, discos, and plenty of alcohol should be left for another occasion.

It is best to celebrate a bright day together with your loved one or in a small company of your closest and dearest, outdoors, in a cozy restaurant or at home.

It’s good if the chosen event is held in the Orthodox tradition. Humor and competitions are acceptable, but they should never be vulgar.

Signs

Such an important sacrament as a wedding has acquired signs and superstitions over the centuries:

• Under no circumstances should the groom see the bride in a dress before the wedding. Buying an outfit together is also prohibited;
• Letting someone, even those closest to you, try on a wedding dress means allowing you to try on your own happiness;
• For bottomless marital love, take an oath of fidelity before the wedding, speaking into the well;
• It’s a bad sign if one of the wedding candles goes out early - this means that the person holding it will leave the world before their spouse;
• During the ceremony, newlyweds should not look into each other's eyes, then family life will be cloudless;
• A good omen is snow falling the night before the wedding. It symbolizes a new, clean, bright life;
• Smooth wedding rings promise a smooth family life , but stones, engraving, roughness are a variety of problems;
• Tucking, or even more so breaking, a heel during the ceremony will make your entire family life lame, so it is better to choose the most comfortable shoes;
• Part of the bride’s outfit, for example, a scarf, should be taken from a loved one - then friends will always come to the aid of the family.

Important! How to treat signs, everyone decides for themselves. The Orthodox Church views such superstitions with skepticism, but folk wisdom often contains a rational grain.