Wedding
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- Is it possible to get married without registering a marriage at the registry office?
- Should the wedding take place before or after the wedding? How late can you be for a wedding?
- Wedding in church for already married couples - a ceremony after testing feelings in everyday life
- How can older people get married in church? Ritual for newlyweds in retirement
- Is it possible to get married a second time?
The wedding ritual for a believing Christian couple is a very responsible, but at the same time, a completely natural process. Especially if the bride and groom grew up in families where Orthodox traditions were respected from birth. But people come to God at different ages. And not everyone is familiar with the rules in the significant matter of marriage in heaven. How to choose the best time for a wedding? When can a church categorically refuse to perform a ceremony or, conversely, recommend that the ceremony be held as soon as possible?
The meaning of the Sacrament of Wedding
Man and woman represent two images of human existence. Marriage is blessed by God so that a man and a woman complete each other and grow together in carnal and spiritual communion: “A man will leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife; and the two will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). A wedding is one of the church sacraments - a sacred rite in which the Lord himself invisibly participates. In this sacrament, the marriage union is blessed by God and the Church. Spouses are given grace for living a Christian life together. The sacrament is of great importance, so there are special rules when you can get married.
Sacrament of Wedding
“Where husband and wife and children are united in harmony and love by the bonds of virtue, there is Christ in the midst” (Works of our holy father John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople. Vol. 4).
The holy righteous John of Kronstadt in his “Parting Word to the Newlyweds” points out that spouses become “animate instruments of Divine goodness and omnipotence.”
What needs to be prepared?
Those getting married remember their wedding days all their lives. Therefore, prepare in advance all the attributes necessary for the ceremony:
- wedding candles;
- icons (images of Christ and the Mother of God);
- rings (give them to the priest before the ceremony for consecration);
- two scarves (they wrap wedding candles);
- white towel-towel (during the ceremony the young people will stand on it).
The wedding towel is saved in the same way as wedding candles, which are lit when someone in the family is sick or to cleanse the home.
Not just a beautiful ritual, but a church Sacrament
Newlyweds and their relatives need to understand the true meaning of a wedding. This is not just a beautiful ceremony, but a church Sacrament. This is a joyful, but requiring a responsible approach, spiritual event of a special meeting between man and God. It determines the subsequent life together of young people. A frivolous attitude towards the sacrament of Marriage is blasphemy.
Archpriest Andrei Tkachev, in a conversation about weddings and divorces, said:
“We turned the wedding into a beautiful ceremony: a rented limousine, a doll on the hood, hired services of a photographer and cameraman, scattering rice and sweets along the road, a feast. All this takes up the lion's share of preparations for the wedding... And a year later we come to the priest who married us and say: “We should get a divorce and get married.” A wedding is too serious a thing to fool around with like that.”
Priest Fyodor Lukyanov noted in one of the broadcasts of the Soyuz TV channel:
“There are very few divorces among church-going couples. Divorces occur among those who perceived it as a beautiful, magnificent ceremony, did it rather as a tribute to some fashion or prestige, but not as an internal, spiritual action that is necessary for a husband and wife.”
Who can be denied a wedding?
The priest performing the sacrament must be sure that the young couple standing in front of him is pure in their thoughts and does not hide anything. The Orthodox Church requires strict adherence to the rules and will not marry a couple in the following cases:
- if there is no state marriage between them;
- if the newlyweds do not profess Orthodox Christianity, but another faith, or are atheists;
- if they were not baptized before the sacrament;
- if the young people are related by blood or spiritual relationship to each other;
- if for one of the spouses this will be the fourth church union, since Orthodoxy allows only three weddings, and then each previous marriage is dissolved only for compelling reasons.
READ ALSO: What types of engagement rings are there, their design and cost
When not to get married
On what days can you not get married? According to the statutes of the Russian Orthodox Church, the sacrament of Wedding is not performed during the period of Lent, on Easter, on the eve of the twelve feasts and Sunday (Little Easter), so that the pre-holiday evening is not overshadowed by wedding fun and bustle.
They also do not get married on Tuesday and Thursday, so that the wedding night does not fall on a one-day fast on Wednesday or Friday. The wedding does not take place on the day of the patronal feast of the church. There may be exceptions to these rules, but only with the permission of the bishop. It is not prohibited, but it is undesirable to get married on the days of the twelve holidays and during continuous weeks. All these instructions are dictated not by superstitious fears, but by church discipline.
Strict fasting dates in 2021
When analyzing the wedding calendar for 2021, you need to immediately highlight the dates of strict fasting. There are 4 multi-day periods in the year, all with strict prohibitions:
- Great Lent. Precedes the Easter holiday, in 2021 it falls on the period from March 15 to May 1. Particularly strict rules apply during Holy Week - the week before Easter Sunday. Throughout Lent, Christians should learn to pray, do good deeds, and admire how beautiful God’s world is. But you can’t get married at this time.
- Petrov post. It is counted from Trinity, in 2021 it will last from June 28 to July 11. During Lent we must pray for sinners and for the righteous. They believe that prayer brings joy and comfort. According to popular belief, June is still not the most favorable period for marriage.
- Assumption Fast. Its dates never change - from August 14 to 27, that is, until the Dormition of the Virgin Mary. During the Dormition Lent there are three church holidays - popularly they are called Honey, Apple and Nut Spas. At this time, Christians bring harvest to the church for blessing - honey, apples, nuts, and in the southern regions - grapes. But you can’t get married these days either. There is also no ceremony held on the Assumption, but according to tradition, matchmaking and betrothal take place.
- Christmas post. Lasts 40 days, from November 28 to January 6. Secular holidays fall during this period, but believers try not to take part in noisy festivities, and getting married at this time is also prohibited.
There are no such strict restrictions in the Catholic Church. Here, weddings are not held only during Lent and during the month before Christmas, and in the summer the ceremony takes place at any time.
Registration of marriage at the registry office during fasting is not prohibited. But this only applies to documents. According to Christian canons, during Lent there are strict restrictions on food, and a festive table is prohibited. A wedding is fun and noisy celebrations, which are also prohibited at this time. If for some reason a couple wants to formalize the relationship, then this can be done during Lent, but without a magnificent holiday.
Wedding Day
What days can you get married? Traditional dates for weddings include the non-twelfth feasts of the Mother of God. For example, October 14 (day of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos), July 21 and November 4 (days of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God). However, it is important that these days do not coincide with the Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday mentioned above. Also a popular date for performing the sacrament is the first Sunday after Easter (Red Hill Day). On what days can you get married? The most suitable days for a wedding are Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday.
An Orthodox Christian should avoid a superstitious attitude towards the wedding date. For example, the Day of the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary is often considered a “lucky” date, guaranteeing a happy family life for newlyweds. However, these popular ideas have no ecclesiastical justification. Getting married on the Feast of the Intercession is not prohibited (if it does not coincide with “forbidden” days), and one can reverently hope for the patronage of the Mother of God. However, there is no need to attach a magical character to this.
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How to behave during the ceremony?
For church wedding days, learn the rules by heart. After all, you or your loved ones may need this information. But let's continue further. The priest will tell you how the ceremony will take place. The wedding takes place at the entrance to the temple, the bride is to the left of the groom, both stand on a towel and hold lit candles until the completion of the sacrament.
During the ceremony, the newlyweds are blessed by the clergyman - after a special prayer, he must change the wedding rings three times from the groom’s hand to the bride’s hand.
Then the confessor will ask the question: “Is the wedding performed of one’s own free will? Are there any obstacles? After the answer of the bride and groom and the psalm, the newlyweds become spouses before the Almighty. Now they must kiss the crowns of the temple and drink church wine in three sips.
At the end of the ceremony, the priest leads the couple around the lectern, and then to the Royal Doors. Then the groom is obliged to kiss the icon of Christ, and the bride – the icon of the Virgin Mary. After all these actions, guests can applaud the young people.
Weddings in November according to the church calendar
Wedding traditions are closely related to Orthodox holidays. There are special days when getting married in November is strictly prohibited. And there are special dates that are considered especially successful for starting a family in November.
The biggest November holiday is Autumn Kazan, which falls on November 4 (that is, October 22 according to the old calendar). On this day, not only the miraculous icon of the Kazan Mother of God is honored, but also numerous weddings are held.
Couples try to get married on November 4th, as the signs promise them a long, happy life together.
Our Lady protects families created on this holiday from family misfortunes, scandals, and betrayals. They are protected from divorces and ill-wishers.
For newlyweds in November there is a special day when Paraskeva Friday is celebrated. The holiday falls on November 10th.
It is considered important, since the saint is the patron of all women and promises “women” an easy, happy life in marriage and a successful birth. So the brides tried to have their wedding take place on Paraskeva.
On this day, the young women woke up early in order to have time to pray to the saint at dawn and ask for a good groom. The saint and married couples prayed with a request to strengthen ties and protect the hearth. Paraskeva also helped childless couples who, after turning to the icon of the great martyr, were sure to have children.
There is another important day in November - November 27th. In the folk calendar he is Fr. This is the day that closes the wedding season. After it, the Nativity Fast begins, when weddings are no longer held.
Before you have time to get married, pray to God and wait for a new meat-eater.
Therefore, matchmakers were sent before November 8, Dmitri's Day. The wedding ceremony, carried out according to ancient traditions, consists of special stages that are closely related to each other. And if you don’t have time to get married before Dmitri’s Day, the wedding ceremony will have to be postponed until the end of Lent.
