The meaning of wedding
The wedding ceremony marks the union of two human souls. According to Christian views, after a wedding, a man and woman become a “small church.” Their future life together is sanctified by grace and blessed for the birth and upbringing of children.
A wedding, with rare exceptions, is possible only once in a lifetime , so the choice of future spouses should be a conscious act of voluntary love. The ceremony is preceded by long preparation, which includes attending pre-marital courses, fasting, reading prayers, participating in the sacrament of confession and the Eucharist.
How to prepare for a wedding for those who are already married?
Wedding before or after the wedding.
Newlyweds or a married couple need to approach the wedding procedure carefully and responsibly. This is a special sacrament that is sanctified by the Lord God himself. You need to start preparing for it long before the start of the celebration.
The preparation itself begins with something important, namely with the awareness of the necessity of this action. Initially, the family should decide what a wedding is for you and how much you need it. To do this, it is best to go to church, talk to the priest and find out everything in detail about this ritual. Let the preparation and other little things worry you least of all. Most of all, you should be interested in the need for the sacrament and why it will be useful to you in the future.
After you have discussed all the important points with the priest, think about the date on which you want to schedule the sacrament. It is worth understanding that the church does not adhere to popular superstitions. There are only prohibitions regarding fasting. Otherwise, the ceremony can be held at any time convenient for you.
When do people get married before or after the wedding?
Don't forget to buy wedding rings too. They are a mandatory attribute of the entire procession. Previously, a woman had a silver item on her hand, and a man had a gold one. Nowadays, few people adhere to strict rules regarding jewelry.
It is worth choosing those rings that will be as strict and laconic as possible. They should not distract you from earthly life. God is against everything that is connected with the financial beginning. Therefore, modesty is the main criterion that is best adhered to.
Wedding after the wedding.
You can also buy wedding icons from the church shop. They are usually sold in pairs. For a man, Jesus Christ is supposed, and for a woman, the Most Holy Theotokos.
During the entire procession, the newlyweds will have icons in their hands, which they will kiss and pray. After which the young people will take such faces home, and they will become their happy mentors in life.
The towel is the part that the newlyweds stand on during prayer. They are also sold in the temple; alternatively, you can sew them yourself. Folk patterns are welcome on the towel.
Officially registered couples should select witnesses for their wedding ceremony. These are the people who can later become spiritual mentors of your family. Therefore, it is best to choose from those couples who are a good example of family life for you.
Don't stop at careerists and divorced people. The latter will not be allowed as witnesses at all. Choose only married couples who have been happily married for a long time.
Will they get married in church without marriage?
Until 1917, when church and state were not separated, church marriage had absolute legality and legal force. Any marital union was concluded within the walls of the temple. During the existence of the USSR, church traditions were vetoed and special government bodies were formed.
Currently, official registration of marriage in a state institution (registry office) is a mandatory condition for a clergyman to perform a wedding ceremony. The Christian Church defines law-abidingness as a type of virtue, so obtaining a marriage certificate in advance confirms the seriousness of the couple's intentions. Otherwise, the wedding may simply be a tribute to family tradition, or its holding may be caused by the desire of only one of the spouses.
The preliminary conclusion of an official marriage, from the point of view of the church, is also necessary to exclude the possibility of remarriage, polygamy and polyandry, unions between blood relatives, etc.
A wedding is the last step in confirming mutual love, which cannot be canceled, unlike a state or so-called civil marriage.
Important! Long-term cohabitation does not become an argument in favor of holding the sacrament.
On the contrary, the church will perceive the relationship as immoral: such couples will not be allowed to receive communion until they repent that they lived in sin. What in modern society is usually called a civil marriage, from a religious point of view, is not a marriage at all. The church refers to a civil marriage as one entered into by state authorities.
A man and a woman living together, running a common household, and even having children together “without a stamp in the passport” is an ordinary cohabitation, which the clergy attribute to prodigal sin - one of the seven deadly sins that are most difficult to atone for.
The clergy are sure that in cohabitation there is no responsibility of a person for himself and his spouse; mutual obligations are not defined. Reluctance to enter into legal marriage is usually caused by distrust and disdain for each other. This indicates a lack of true love, and it is on it that Christianity is based.
Another possible reason for cohabitation is disrespect for church and secular laws , which also cannot be approved by the church.
What does a married couple need for a wedding after the wedding?
The Church recognizes only officially registered marriages. Civil marriage or cohabitation is considered to mean that people live in sin. Therefore, such a married couple will certainly not be married.
An important point in order for a church minister to register your relationship is the official confirmation of marriage. You must bring an official marriage certificate.
Many people wonder and do not understand when, after official registration at the registry office, they can go to the wedding ceremony. In fact, there is no clear and unambiguous answer to this question.
A married couple can get married either the next day after the registry office or several years later. The main requirement is the conscious and balanced desire of each spouse. Only after this can you visit the church and ask the clergyman about all the subtleties. For married people, the church makes the same requirements as for unmarried people. They concern, first of all, the bride and groom.
They need:
- Being baptized - often a married couple does not remember whether they were baptized or not. If there are no living witnesses to this event, then you should talk to the priest. Sometimes it is enough that the family lives according to church laws and does not violate the commandments. In this case, no additional baptismal rite is performed.
- To be Orthodox - in our world there are a large number of beliefs and religions. Under no circumstances does any religion allow cross-baptism. Therefore, if a man is Muslim, then he must first convert to Orthodoxy, and only then go to the wedding ceremony.
- To have a mutual desire - a woman sometimes wants to get married much more than a man. And a man may not understand at all why such a ritual is necessary. To prevent this from happening, you should initially decide together how much there is a need for the sacred sacrament. Fortunately, the church does not force or force anyone to do such things. Therefore, you should not force your neighbor. Everyone must come to religion and God on their own.
- Be physically and mentally healthy - the church cannot marry physically and mentally ill people. In the first case, it is necessary to obtain permission from a doctor confirming the person’s mental abilities. In the latter case, such people are called holy fools, and they cannot make such serious and balanced decisions.
- Not be related by blood - even if the bride and groom are considered relatives in the 4th or 5th generation, the wedding ceremony is still impossible. Because the church does not recognize family ties.
Popular excuses
You can sometimes hear strange phrases from believers who oppose the painting in the registry office.
For example, in an attempt to find an excuse, many say that it is important to get married, and the stamp in the passport is “a matter of profit” and it is not necessary to put it. This is fair, but a counter question arises: why resist an “insignificant” formality, and why not go through the 15-minute painting procedure?
Another common argument: “We have such strong love, but we have absolutely no money for a wedding, so for now we’ll just get married.” In this case , you can choose non-ceremonial registration by paying only 350 rubles in state duty . With such an excuse, the priest will have a fair doubt: what will the young people live on, raise children, improve their life, if they cannot even save money for a modest ceremony?
Are exceptions possible?
There is no canonical ban on holding a wedding ceremony without an official marriage. However, the mere desire of future spouses is not enough. Since not only the young, but also the clergy bear responsibility, each such case is considered individually by the bishop of the corresponding diocese. Only the diocesan bishop gives permission to get married bypassing the rules.
Three common reasons for exceptions:
- State registration and the wedding ceremony are scheduled for the same date, several hours apart. If you show the priest an invitation card to the registry office for a certain date indicating the names, he will probably give in and allow the wedding to be held first, and then the painting ceremony at the registry office;
- The presence of extenuating circumstances , for example, during an upcoming operation with a risk to life or before the spouse travels to a “hot spot”, the local diocesan administration will most likely give the go-ahead for the wedding without a state marriage;
- A couple who wants to get married without a stamp in their passport have been obedient parishioners of the church for many years , and the rector of the temple sees their sincere attitude towards each other, he can make an exception. In this case, he takes full responsibility for their union.
Interesting! In Russia, the star couple Anton Makarsky and Victoria Morozova are known, who were married without a wedding ceremony precisely because of the last reason on the list.
