- October 22, 2019
- Psychology of relationships
- Michael Michaelis
Canceling a wedding is a very serious step that should be carefully considered. After all, history knows many cases when an engagement between people was broken due to misunderstanding or mere trifles. However, there are also situations when it is better to refuse marriage altogether, so as not to feel that your rights are being infringed throughout your life. So let's talk about the top 10 reasons to celebrate your wedding and the best way to do it.
Uncertainty about your own choices
Why is the wedding cancelled? Most often, the answer to this question will be posed in this way: “They didn’t get along” or “Something went wrong.” However, all these phrases a la: “Our straight lines suddenly became parallel” are nothing more than a banal excuse behind which people try to hide their own insecurity. After all, no one wants to say that he had to part with his loved one because he was initially unsure of his choice.
However, uncertainty about your significant other can be a serious reason to cancel your upcoming engagement. It's not even about the fact that you will soon have to live with a person who can change dramatically. It’s just that if you don’t feel that your future spouse is your destiny, then there is simply no point in combining a relationship with him. You must find the person with whom you feel a spiritual connection.
How to prevent it
Canceling a wedding is always a very negative and unpleasant event. Even if the couple’s decision was mutual, canceling the celebration always leads to financial losses. And relatives and friends who have already received an invitation will demand an explanation of the reasons. And this is also very unpleasant.
According to psychologists, you can prevent a breakup on the eve of the wedding only in the following ways:
- Ask your partner the right and necessary questions. Find out about his plans for life, how he sees himself in 10 and 20 years. This way you will make sure that your life plans coincide.
- Think in advance about how you will react to your partner’s proposal to get married. Is it worth taking it? If you’re not sure about this, maybe you should break off the relationship altogether before it goes too far?
- Visualize your possible marriage. Here you are together “in sorrow and in joy.” You have children, a dog and common relatives. Are you satisfied with this picture?
- In the process of preparing a wedding, listen to each other and make compromises.
It is better not to bring the situation to a break before the wedding. Such serious issues should be addressed in advance. Although, according to psychologists, the risk of encountering such a situation will still remain, because a wedding is not only a joyful, but also a stressful event.
It is clear that you would not wish anyone to find yourself alone at the altar in front of the assembled guests, as in a Hollywood film. It’s very disappointing and painful to realize that you were abandoned on the eve of the wedding and everyone knows about it.
In addition, it is painful to realize at the last minute that the decision to legitimize the relationship was wrong, this is the wrong person. Therefore, you need to talk with your partner, make plans together and look objectively into the future, even if the love is very strong now.
Your intuition tells you: “Stop!”
You can also often hear the phrase from people: “I want to cancel the wedding because my inner voice tells me so.” Most people will take such a person lightly, saying something like: “Psychics don’t exist.” However, scientists have long proven that intuition is the voice of our inner subconscious. Some information enters the brain so quickly that it does not have time to catch it, resulting in only an anxious feeling.
Since your intuition advises you to cancel the wedding, then it is best to do so. Most likely, you know the reason why your future life does not make sense. However, you are afraid to accept it or simply do not have time to do so. Sooner or later, something bad will definitely happen, after which you will begin to think: “How come I didn’t think of it before! But I felt that something would be wrong!” Just don’t confuse intuition with a banal fear of responsibility.
Will social distancing and mask wearing be enforced?
Rules and regulations vary from one area to another and how a couple implements them plays an important role. If safety precautions are not found on the couples website or included in the invitation, call and ask directly.
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Most couples are smart and provide gloves, sanitizer and a mask for guests, but bring an extra set of masks, wipes and gloves as a backup just in case.
Pressure from relatives
People often have to wonder how to cancel a wedding without hurting anyone. However, in most cases this happens because a person is seriously dependent on the opinions of his friends and relatives. It is quite possible that some of them are even trying to put pressure on him so that the wedding ceremony does take place. However, you should learn to think with your own head, because future life belongs only to you.
If you have been building a relationship for a long time under the pressure of someone close to you, then there is no need to even doubt that the wedding should be cancelled. No one has the right to force you to give a positive answer at a marriage ceremony. Even if there are “more serious reasons” for marriage than love, is it worth ruining your happiness by intertwining your destiny with a person for whom you feel nothing? No matter how strong the pressure, it is best to refuse the wedding.
Are weddings canceled due to the coronavirus epidemic: the situation in Russia
Because the status of the pandemic is constantly changing, we must caution you that the information in this section is current at the time of publication. Below you will find out whether it is worth holding a wedding during the coronavirus and how to cancel the holiday with minimal losses. Let's start!
How does coronavirus affect wedding registrations?
If you have no idea whether weddings are canceled in Moscow and other Russian cities, the team of our portal will try to answer this question. Some registry offices are still open, so if your wedding falls in early April, you still have the opportunity to register your marriage. In addition, many civil registration organizations have switched to working online, meaning you can register your marriage remotely.
But most registry offices have completely canceled registration until June. This is not to say that weddings are being canceled entirely due to the coronavirus. For example, in Udmurtia, registry offices have suspended their activities until the end of spring and are postponing registration dates to June. But if the transfer is impossible for one reason or another, the couple can come to the painting and receive the completed documents, but no guests, not even witnesses, should be present.
How has coronavirus affected weddings?
If you still doubt whether weddings will be banned due to the coronavirus pandemic, then it’s more likely not than yes. But this question concerns only the official registration of marriage. If ordinary painting is enough for you, you have nothing to lose. As for the celebration itself, the situation here is much more deplorable.
There are many reasons why a wedding is cancelled, and all of them are obvious: problems with the supply of props, closure of venues, self-isolation, etc. The main mistakes of brides and grooms who planned everything so well and were about to have the wedding of their dreams is that they allowing anger and frustration to override common sense. In this situation, you need a “cool head”, otherwise there will be trouble.
You should understand: whether weddings will be canceled due to coronavirus or not is not as important as the health of you and your loved ones. In this situation, it is worth talking with the wedding planner or finding the right solutions on your own in order to stay with minimal losses.
How long will this all last?
If we analyze statistics on past epidemics or take into account the situation with the province of Wuhan, where the virus began to spread, the peak of incidence should pass in the coming weeks, and the whole situation will stabilize by the beginning of summer. However, it is still too early to say anything.
Let's see if you have a chance to celebrate as planned, depending on your wedding date:
- April-May - it is better to cancel or postpone all events on these dates;
- June is a “borderline” month, which is also better not to count on;
- July-September - most likely, you will be able to hold the celebration as planned;
- October-December - there may be an autumn outbreak of morbidity.
That is, if you are wondering whether to cancel your wedding in the summer due to the coronavirus epidemic, we advise you not to rush yet. Moreover, if the event was planned for the mid-late season, there is a high probability that the wedding will still take place.
If you decide to postpone your celebration, we recommend doing so right now. You won't be the only one dealing with wedding cancellations and postponements due to coronavirus, so all available dates for the summer or early fall may already be taken.
Unresolved disputes and issues
Unfortunately, most people don’t even think about the fact that all disagreements that are once unresolved can sooner or later develop into a serious conflict from which they can no longer escape. This is fraught with the fact that a depressing atmosphere will settle in the house, and there will be no talk of any happiness in family life. Therefore, try to resolve all disputes in order to leave the negative aspects of your past life and start a new one.
If your partner keeps saying, “We’ll figure it out later” or “Now is not the time,” then you should tell him that you are not going to have a wedding until all differences are resolved. After all, later you will have much fewer trump cards in your hands, since you will be bound by marriage ties and responsibility to relatives. The partner may simply stop considering himself to blame, even if in fact the entire burden of responsibility lies with him.
Refusal from a wedding: what to say and how to say it
It is important to be honest with your chosen one. Don't tell heartbreaking stories about how unimaginable obstacles force you to make a difficult decision. Just set aside time alone, in a romantic atmosphere, when no one bothers you. Get away from the crazy pace of life and explain the truth.
Of course, you shouldn’t hurt your loved one and tell him that you don’t like it if he scurries back and forth before your eyes every day. Or that you are annoyed by his habits. If you love him, say so. And at the same time explain why you don’t want to:
- Sign at the registry office and live together.
- You want to become a good couple and are ready to make it official, but the wedding celebration itself is taboo for you.
If your reasons are simply refusal of a magnificent celebration, your loved one will understand you. Today, a fashionable trend is being practiced - a wedding for two. It will be just you and him. This is a great opportunity to take a break from work, go on a trip together, sunbathe in hot countries, learn another language together and spend time the way you want.
In this case, personal relationships will not suffer in any way, but will only strengthen. In addition, a trip to a good resort (for example, the Maldives) will be an excellent compensation for an expensive wedding.
Cheating on your significant other
“My boyfriend canceled the wedding after a bachelorette party where I had too much and cheated on him with my best friend - what should I do?” Unfortunately, this question can be heard quite often in a psychotherapist’s office. However, a specialist is unlikely to take the traitor’s side in a relationship. After all, the groom turned out to be 100% right when he canceled his engagement to the one who cheated on him. After all, if this happened once, who can guarantee that this will not happen again? Nobody.
If you want to be committed to your partner not only legally but also emotionally, think twice before living with the person who betrayed you. Even if he sincerely repents of his committed act and promises that this will not happen again, this is a reason to forgive him, but not to connect his life with him. After all, it will still be unpleasant for you to share a bed with him, since unpleasant memories will pop up all the time. It is best to forget about such a person.
Losing my sanity
If you are wondering: “The groom canceled the wedding - what to do?”, then this is not a reason to despair. After all, it is not for nothing that the well-known saying says that even negative events promise something good in our lives. It is quite possible that you simply rushed into getting engaged, and the realization came only before the most important day. For people in love, such an outcome is considered not uncommon. Therefore, never rush to take an important step that will change your whole life.
In the first few days of a relationship, a feeling of euphoria arises between partners that tells them: “He is the one. You don't even have to doubt it. There’s no point in delaying the wedding.” However, in the end, it often turns out that your partner has a rather dark past, some of his character traits are extremely unpleasant to you, and love develops into mutual disrespect after several years of marriage. It’s better to postpone the wedding a couple of months in advance.
Too different characters
Have you canceled your wedding? This procedure is quite painful for both parties. However, it may not be even half as painful as living all the time with a person who does not understand you at all, who has a different character. Some may say that opposites attract, but this rule only works with atoms. The only exception may be the initial stages of building relationships.
No matter how bitter it may be to admit, most people still want to build a relationship with the person who will understand them. It is unlikely that an introvert will ever be able to get along with an extrovert. Most likely, such individuals will simply try to constantly re-educate each other. And what good will come of it? Most likely, scandals and quarrels await the newlyweds after the first months of marriage.
Are you tired of parental care?
Unfortunately, many young people try to get married as quickly as possible just to build their own family and become independent. In most cases, this type of behavior is typical for girls who don’t want to work, but they also won’t sit on their parents’ necks. Therefore, beauties try to get married as soon as possible, after which at the very last moment they resort to canceling the wedding.
Therefore, you should not rush to connect your life with a person just to become financially or emotionally independent from your parents. In marriage, you also expect many worries and hardships. Most likely, your boyfriend will not allow you to do many things, which will further undermine your sense of self-importance. So it’s better to stay longer under the wing of your parents than to ruin your happy future.
I don't want a wedding! What to do?
To begin with, don’t force yourself to do what you don’t want. What is done under duress, by breaking one’s own will, will not lead to good. You will still have to dissolve the marriage, only it will be done not by you, but by the registry office or the court, and the hassle will multiply by 10 times.
Despite the high percentage of divorces, single men and women (the latter are 3 times more likely), people who do not want to live in marriage are not so rare today. 60% of them have a successful career, 40% have children, and 30% have already been married and do not want to take this exam again - they are already doing well.
There are two large groups of reasons why a girl agonizes over how not to celebrate her wedding. First: she doesn’t need the celebration itself, but she doesn’t mind living with her loved one. These are more financial reasons, and they are quite justified. The second group is psychological barriers:
- I don’t want to lose my independence;
- I don’t want to accept another person’s habits and lifestyle;
- fear that children will be worse off with a stepfather;
- not satisfied with the financial situation of the chosen one.
There are many more reasons, but in any case, the main thing to do is to accept your desire for what it is.
All my friends are already married
If you don’t want to wonder how to cancel a wedding, then just don’t make the mistakes that are typical for the vast majority? For example, some girls are simply trying to find a groom as soon as possible because all their friends have been getting married a long time ago. However, is this so important? Is it worth connecting your life with the first person you meet just to avoid being a black sheep?
If you suddenly suddenly realize that you just want to not stand out and that’s why you’re getting married, then it’s better to call off the engagement before it’s too late. You should understand that family life is a very important step that should be carefully considered. No external factors should force you to make a decision. Otherwise, you risk making a mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life.
How to competently cancel a wedding?
If you decide not to celebrate your event, you will definitely need our tips on how to cancel your wedding with minimal losses. Most likely, the wedding budget will not remain in its original form, but will “lose” considerably, but this is better than nothing.
The procedure for canceling weddings due to the coronavirus epidemic is as follows:
- if you do not sign, contact the registry office employees and follow all their instructions;
- terminate contracts with contractors: organizer, decorator, musicians, presenter, photographer, etc.;
- cancel your venue reservation;
- cancel invitations to wedding guests by calling everyone personally.
Now let's talk more about contracts. If they stipulated a certain penalty for early termination, discuss its amount personally with the contractor. If he has already completed part of the work (for example, the organizer spent time preparing), it must be paid, and the amount is negotiated individually.
If it was a reservation for certain dates (restaurant, photographer), and the contractor did not complete any work, in fact you do not owe him anything. In this case, the penalty is paid for the fact that on the selected dates the specialist could have received another job. But under the current conditions this is unlikely. It is also worth considering that a specialist also needs to buy food and pay for housing. In this situation, you must meet each other halfway and peacefully agree on mutual settlement.
The most difficult situation is with those contractors who have received an advance payment and have already purchased materials, as well as partially completed the work (for example, accessory manufacturers). In this case, you can give the specialist the opportunity to use the purchased props at another celebration, after which he will partially reimburse your expenses.
The portal www.svadbagolik.ru told you whether it is possible to register a marriage and how to cancel the wedding in the current situation. We hope our tips will help you avoid big losses. Don't be upset and take care of yourself and your loved ones!
Wedding for no reason
Well, the last reason for canceling a wedding, which should not be neglected if you are looking for a reason to refuse to live together with a person. Unfortunately, many people get married simply because everyone else is doing it. However, few people think about why they should tie their lives together with the sacred bonds of marriage. Indeed, among representatives of the modern generation it is very common to live together without any stamps in the passport or legal obligations.
If you cannot find an adequate reason to get married, then it would be better to resort to canceling the wedding. What is the point of spending money on an expensive ceremony, and also tying yourself to the bonds of the law just because tradition tells you so. A real wedding should take place only between those people who cannot live without each other, who are sure that they have to spend their whole lives together.
How to gracefully cancel a wedding invitation?
It would be best to do this as a joke. For example, you can create a post on a social network: “False alarm, we’re leaving” or “There will be no banquet, everyone goes home.” Of course, many people will be surprised by this decision, but if the newlyweds joke about their mistake, this means that the decision was balanced and deliberate. Therefore, people will perceive it more adequately than something like: “Sorry. We realized that don’t fit in with each other.”
We hope you now better understand what reasons are most important for a person who decides to cancel a wedding. It is quite possible that you may have a more compelling argument. Therefore, think over your actions several times, and also do not rush into making important decisions in the future, so as not to get into an awkward situation again. We sincerely wish you to find the person with whom you will be happy!
