Meeting the groom's parents: how to behave and what to give?

Family occupies an important place in everyone's life. From childhood, parents nurture their child’s personality and help them achieve success in life. But there comes a time when children become adults and decide to create a new unit of society. Meeting your parents is an important step for young people who have decided to tie their relationship in marriage. The website www.svadbagolik.ru will tell you how to announce the engagement and organize the first meeting with the groom’s parents so that everything goes well.

Meeting the parents of the bride and groom: how to organize?

On the one hand, parents themselves can guess that meeting matchmakers means an imminent wedding. But it is still important to warn your parents that you are going to get married in advance.
The first meeting between the parents of the bride and groom is a rather stressful situation, and therefore it is better to please the news before both parties have time to digest it.
You don’t have to come up with a reason to meet, but if it’s the bride or groom’s birthday, this will play into the hands of the future unit of society. This will make the meeting more relaxed.

You should not introduce the bride or groom to their parents at the same time. First they introduce the chosen one or the chosen one, and then their families. Therefore, before meeting your parents, we advise you to read the article about meeting the parents of a guy and a girl , which we have prepared especially for you.

How to meet someone if you're scared?

Excitement before meeting your future relatives for the first time is a normal emotion. You need to understand that they are the same living people and worry no less before meeting each other. Therefore, for comfortable communication without tension, you should listen to the advice of experts:

You don't have to go out of your way to please your parents. Fanaticism in this matter will play against the girl.
No fake emotions. If you don’t want to smile, then it’s better not to do it.
Remain yourself. The girl’s son fell in love with her, which means that there is something special and unique about her.
Praise your mother's dish, you can even ask for the recipe.
When trying to please, there is no need to overdo it. An intelligent woman will immediately sense sincerity or just a desire to please.

First meeting between the parents of the bride and groom: how to choose a place?

The ideal place for the first meeting of the parents of the bride and groom is neutral territory.
If both the groom's parents and the bride's parents love nature, find a picturesque place and choose a picnic format. This will provide equally comfortable conditions for both families. It is better to postpone theatre, cinema or concert until later.

Possible in nature

Consider everything you know about the bride or groom's parents. So, if some are wealthy and others are ordinary people, choose a quiet family restaurant. You should not choose a trendy place - someone may feel uncomfortable.
It is a definite taboo to gather parents in a new place for everyone. Choose proven places that combine comfort, cleanliness, delicious cuisine and a high level of service.
Another good place is your shared home with the bride/groom. If you already live together and going to a restaurant is not an option, feel free to invite your parents to your place.
There is no need to arrange the first acquaintance at the house of the groom's parents or at the house of the bride's parents - some will worry about every little thing, trying to create the perfect evening, while others will not feel comfortable being on foreign territory.
The hostess of the event will definitely spend the entire evening running from the table to the kitchen and back and trying to ensure that the guests have everything they need.

What to give to your boyfriend's mom?

You should not give expensive things at the first meeting, because you are not such close people yet. But this does not mean that there is no need to give anything. You need to give something that will definitely not go unnoticed.

It is worth asking your chosen one: where does the mother work, what position does she hold, what does she do at work, her worldview, habits and culinary tastes.

Remember one truth: buy a gift for your boyfriend’s mother, the same one you would give to yours and to yourself. But we must not forget that people are different, and the guy’s mother may not necessarily like the gift that you would choose for yourself, and vice versa.

A gift for the kitchen would not be out of place, most likely for homebodies, such a gift would be excellent. As an option, you can buy: a set of plates, glasses, salad bowls, tea service or symbolic towels. If you are going to buy kitchen supplies and you have already been to your boyfriend's parents' apartment, then most likely you may have noticed something, for example, an old kettle, worn out rags and towels, dull knives, old forks or spoons, etc. This could be a great update to the meal plan in their lives.

In order to indirectly give a gift to your boyfriend, you can give his mother a cookbook. There is a large selection in absolutely every bookstore. It’s worth choosing not just a book that lists recipes, but a book that leaves room for notes. In the future, you will be able to prepare some dish together, provided that you, of course, know how to cook, and are in a fairly close relationship, perhaps with your future mother-in-law. It will be a great experience together.

If your beloved’s mother has a sense of beauty, you can also take advantage of this. In this case, you can give it, for example, tea. The tea must be one that she has never drunk before. Most likely some rare elite item that cannot be bought in regular stores.

As an addition to tea, you can use a tea set for two. Even if the mother of the chosen one is not a big connoisseur of tea, it’s okay, showing respect is already good, especially since almost all people drink tea, she will like it. Perhaps the guy's parents will invite their friends to tea and they will appreciate this gift.

First meeting between the parents of the bride and groom: how to choose a menu?

Even if you go to a restaurant, you will have to choose one that can suit the tastes of all your family. Mexican, Japanese and Chinese cuisines are not suitable for your event. Choose a restaurant with European or traditional local cuisine.

What you need to consider when creating a menu for the first meeting of the bride and groom's parents:

the health status of the parents of the bride and groom (some cannot eat spicy food, some cannot eat fried food).
Perhaps one of the parents is a vegetarian.
what alcoholic drinks do future relatives prefer?

Take care of the menu

It is also important to remember that there should not be a lot of alcohol. Otherwise, he can ruin all your plans and, instead of a nice conversation, you will end up with a quarrel or even a fight.

What to give to your boyfriend's father?

To choose a gift for a guy’s father, you again need to talk about his interests and what he is interested in. You need to find something to start from when choosing a gift. If you can’t understand his interests, in any case you can give him some neutral gift. You can give a real man's gift, for example, a bottle of good cognac or something that the guy's father may appreciate. This can be not only an alcoholic drink, but also a smoking set. A set of good cigars is sure to please.

Don't forget that the best gift of all times was a book. A book is a simple and universal gift, and most importantly, it is easy to choose according to your interests. It doesn’t have to be fiction, many people don’t accept it as such, give him a book on fishing, cars, weapons, war, hunting, and possibly scientific literature. But if you have information about your interests, you can easily select the book you need, and then everything is simple: buy it in any bookstore, and if there is none, order it in an online store.

If he collects something, then this makes the task much easier. In this case, you can give him an item from his collection. But it's not that simple. We need to find out exactly what missing item he doesn’t have. There is a possibility that this item will cost too much, so you should give something from the collection at your own peril and risk.

Technology as a gift is also a good choice. But it’s better to buy equipment together with your boyfriend. The gift could be: a DVR, a phone or some construction tools.

The conclusion of all this is that it is not a gift that is important, but a show of respect for parents, even strangers. Although the gift itself can please and make the family happy, the fact of this gift is important. The money you put into a gift is not as important as what you put into choosing the gift. And finally, a joint photo would be a great solution.

First meeting between the parents of the bride and groom: what to give?

According to ancient tradition, matchmakers give gifts to each other not at the first meeting, but already at the wedding.
But if you follow the traditions of meeting the parents of the bride and groom , then this important day cannot do without gifts. They are exchanged immediately after you have introduced your parents to each other.
Help your parents choose the right gift for the parents of their loved one - after all, you already know each other and this will help start the meeting with positive impressions.

Give a gift
Gift ideas :

men give flowers to ladies
Exclusive sweets would be a good gift (maybe not very expensive, but, for example, in beautiful packaging or interesting appearance)
vases, textiles and other decorative elements
coffee or tea sets
alcoholic drinks (you need to be careful with this gift - be sure to check with your son or daughter how their parents feel about alcohol)
custom-made gifts

Should you give flowers to your loved one's loved ones?

Giving flowers when meeting someone is an important strategic step for winning sympathy.

Let's start with choosing colors. Usually roses are chosen to meet parents. This is a really good option. If you stop at this, take 5 large buds on long stems. Use plain wrapping paper or tape.

If you want to look original in the eyes of your significant other’s parents, give preference to one orchid or a bouquet of peonies. These flowers look luxurious and at the same time do not oblige you to respond. You can buy a bouquet of multi-colored gerberas or large chrysanthemums - women love these simple but beautiful flowers.

The color of the bouquet is not regulated by etiquette. In Russia, yellow flowers or dark red carnations are not very popular. The former are associated with separation, and the latter with military holidays. Classic red roses, pink gerberas, any white flowers will be the right choice if you do not know the preferences of your loved one's parents.

To meet your parents, choose inexpensive and simple flowers so as not to create an awkward situation.

Can't decide? Ask your other half, she will be happy to help you choose the perfect bouquet for her mother. They usually don’t give flowers to the father, but if the acquaintance is combined with his personal holiday - a birthday or other important event - take with you a neat man’s bouquet of several burgundy roses or large carnations.

First meeting between the parents of the bride and groom: how to behave?

The first thing that is important for the bride and groom to remember is that they should not fuss. Your anxiety may rub off on your parents.
Don't try to stop your parents when they say something. They may think that you are trying to hide something from your parents, and this will cause additional discomfort in communication.
Newlyweds should smile more often at this meeting. Their smiles will demonstrate their sincerity and happiness, and their parents will definitely feel it.

Act natural and smile

Traditionally, the first time the bride meets the parents of her future husband is at the bride's ceremony and must modestly lower her eyes to the floor. The modern world dictates different requirements. A bride who is silent and lowers her eyes to the floor will seem at least strange. It will be enough if the bride (as well as the groom) tactfully listen to the instructions of their parents.
When the parents of the bride and groom meet for the first time, behave naturally, try to smooth out awkward pauses and show your friendliness. Advise the same to parents.
If you know of any inclinations of your parents that other people may perceive ambiguously, talk to your parents, let them try to restrain their oddities at least during the first meeting.

Both the bride and groom need to monitor the amount of alcohol they drink.

What do you need to figure out before your first meeting?

An invitation to meet your mother and father is a step towards marriage. The man is determined, the opinion of his parents is important to him.

The first meeting cannot be repeated, and the first impression is easy to ruin. You need to ask the guy for help in preparing for the important moment.

Choosing an appropriate image for the meeting, deciding where it will take place, what to take with you - everything needs to be thought out in advance.

Gathering information before the meeting

You should not demand that your future husband reveal family secrets; excessive knowledge will repel you.

But there are some things you need to find out:

Family composition. The guy may be part of a large friendly family or the only child of self-sufficient parents. You can assume in advance that a large family will require heirs from your daughter-in-law, and think in advance about how to conduct the conversation if your immediate plans include finishing your studies or devoting a couple of years to your career.
Interests and hobbies of parents. Hobbies become the topic of a fascinating conversation, but passion for vegetarian philosophy can ruin communication with your hunter-in-law. Information about your hobby will help you choose the topic of conversation.
Forbidden topics. You definitely need to find out from the guy what is best not to mention so as not to evoke unpleasant memories.
Religion. It is not difficult to respect the religious concepts of guests. The future mother-in-law will appreciate it if she finds an approved dish on the table during Lent.
Habits. Whether family members hug when they meet, what they like to eat, what kind of music they like - knowing these things will help organize a pleasant meeting.

First meeting of the parents of the bride and groom: what to say?

When the parents of the bride and groom meet for the first time, it is better to think through topics for conversation in advance. Especially if the bride or groom does not want to discuss any topics.
When parents first meet, you shouldn’t bring up the topic of the wedding and its financing.
Football and politics are also slippery topics. Even if you know for sure that the father of the groom and the father of the bride support the same team, their attitude towards victories and losses will be different due to different life experiences.
Less nostalgia - if you don’t want your mother to show your other half’s parents a photo of you drinking too much while celebrating your graduation from university, or naked/naked on the potty when you were two years old - follow your parents.

What should we talk about at the first meeting between the parents of the bride and groom?

Neutral topics are the best choice for a first meeting. You can also remind your parents of “that funny incident” that will allow them to relax and laugh, and not make you blush.
An excellent theme would be travel and hobbies. If your parents are fond of gardening , this could also become the same topic.
Try to find common ground in advance.

Find common ground

If you feel that something might go wrong, invite the groom’s cheerful friend, the bride’s wise grandmother or a sensible aunt with you. They will help smooth out unpleasant moments and turn an unfortunate phrase into a joke.

And the last but most important advice is to relax. Only 20% of parents begin to actively communicate with each other. Most prefer to remain neutral and congratulate each other on holidays with a phone call. So if you notice that after the first meeting the parents simply smile sincerely at each other, you have already won this round.

Have you successfully passed this stage and are already preparing for your wedding? Then we advise you to read the following articles:

Leap year wedding
Wedding 2020: review of fashionable engagement rings
Wedding 2020: what to give newlyweds this year
18 proven whispers to attract suitors, marriage
How to hint to a man about marriage and push him to get married

What to talk about?

In a conversation immediately after meeting, you should avoid the following topics:

religion;
health;
policy.

It’s better to start communicating with your parents’ interests and hobbies.

Mom and dad of a loved one may ask completely different questions. You don’t have to turn your soul inside out when responding to tactlessness, but you shouldn’t be too secretive either.

The best option would be questions from the girl about the guy’s childhood. Families love to remember funny moments from their children's past.