For a wedding
Wedding ditties about love will appeal to your guests who have a sense of humor.
Naughty little ditties about girls, women and men, newly-made husbands and wives, funny little jokes about mother-in-law, beloved by men. The most common ditties on this topic: about kisses, loved ones, longing, dates, home problems. Such ditties never lose their relevance and will come in handy in a close family circle, in the company of cheerful friends. Wedding ditties about love are real Vyatka ditties that remained in the memory of our grandmothers from their youth. Wedding trinkets infect you with humor, mischief and allow you to have a lot of fun!
Wedding ditties (about love)
1 My mother gave birth to me, She thought: beautiful. She turned it around, spat, and stuck it back.
2 I fell in love with the lieutenant, but I want the major, because the major drags along the floor.
3 Girls, dance, but don’t break the floor. We have water under the floor, you won't drown.
4 Eh, matchmaker, matchmaker, matchmaker, Don't grab your ass. Grab it by the front, He'll take it away faster.
5 I walk through the village, I think around the city, I pull out the beard of any old man.
6 Oh, girls are in trouble In our alley: A man sells a woman for four rolls.
7 I recognize my Natalia by her waist, And where the waist is wider, there is my Natalia.
8 Oh, girls, Basques, Basques, where are they found? Probably mothers and fathers pray to them and God.
9 Women are fools, women are fools, Women are rabid people. When they see a girl and a guy, they stand there with their mouths open.
10 I have two miles, as it should be. One will go to the army, and the other will remain.
11 My little one is like a calf - Just chew brooms. He walked me home, but failed to kiss me.
12 I walk, walk, walk, The dogs bark as they go. They bark and don’t know that I’m going to see my dear one.
13 I woke up at 6 o'clock, where is the elastic band of my panties? Here she is! Here she is! It's wrapped around my leg!
14 The girls were swimming in the lake, I was sitting on a pebble. The girls showed their tits, and I fell off the rock.
15 We have a good accordion player, I’ll bewitch him. I'll take it and put three daisies on the accordion.
16 Harmonist, harmonica player, Kitchen, ladle, You wouldn’t be in fashion, If it weren’t for the harmonica!
17 Eh, stomp your foot, stomp your right one, the guys still love you, even though it’s small.
18 My little one has a neat sock: 8 hens sit, And the 9th is a cockerel.
19 On Tamarochka’s bench he asked to spend the night, but poor Tamarochka didn’t dare refuse.
20 I was flying out of the hayloft, I was furrowing my head, Mom told me not to go for a walk with you.
21 Wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding It's just beginning. Only the life of a bachelor ends at the wedding.
You will also need original wedding congratulations and skits for performing in front of the newlyweds.
If the examples of ditties do not suit you, we will be happy to compose new ones for you to order!
Funny, cool, modern ditties!
For all lovers of funny and cool ditties, we have collected modern ditties for different occasions. On this page of our website greednews.su you can read and download them. Cool modern ditties will brighten up the moment and make your life more fun. Visit our page.
Since ancient times, chastushki in Rus' have been folk art, which emphasized interesting moments from our lives and also made fun of various incidents. The popularity of ditties among the people has always been high and for this reason our site cannot ignore them. For your convenience, we have collected a large number of ditties on this page, so you can easily read and find the most interesting options for yourself. Having memorized ditties, you can always read them out in company and make everyone happy and cheerful, accordingly, this moment will be positive for you. For example, if you are in a company and there is some kind of ridiculous pause, you can always fill it with an anecdote or a funny ditty. Therefore, study the ditties on our website and use them in your life in order to be a happy and cheerful interlocutor.
We also recommend: Cool poems - An oak tree was cut down near Lukomorye 20 versions of the poem + video https://greednews.su/u-lukomorya-dub-srubili-20-versij-stixa-video
How to cheer up your guests? Sing naughty ditties for them and dance. Laughing, cheerful, funny rhymes and ditties will amuse guests at any party. If you don’t know how to write on your own, we’ll help!
Cool modern ditties
The writer Gogol said that there are two troubles in Russia - Fools, damn it, and roads... He did not know the traffic police.
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Because of the crisis, artists began to receive less. They can't get enough of a Bentley, they go back to a BMW X.
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I bought girls from the highway I laid them on mattresses Sleep girls, bye-bye I'm such a goofball.
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I recently went to Gagra With a pack of Viagra I had a blast there It’s a pity that the city is small
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I hit the cooler with my butt - the male sex died of happiness... My butt swayed juicily Somewhere before lunch for sure.
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I got myself a scary mask to scare my mother-in-law. It would be better if I got a helmet - Concussion again.
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The kid is tired of being Stoeros' cudgel. Nowadays it's a weird one. He's a baseball bat.
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He was like a cog, so his status was low. Today is the twenty-first century And now he is a pixel.
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Grandma Yoshka injects Botox! She fixed her nose, hag... Hair removal, hairstyle - And a leg made of gold!
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I called a plumber. My beloved shower broke. I waited a month for the impudent one, the drunk showed up and fell.
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My wife ate my bald spot, hinting subtly, The neighbor has a cottage, And we have a small hut!
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Guys, you guys are Tuziki and Shariki! They grew bellies and became like Smeshariki!
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The 600th Mercedes is rushing across me. My asphalt roller is more reliable, brother.
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Now I will take “Fairy” to lose weight, Because only “Fairy” is capable of breaking down fat.
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Photo in the toilet, Photo of food, On Instagram, I overlaid it from an iPhone.
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They let me go on vacation, the vacation pay is gone! They sent me on vacation, I drank away my vacation money!
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The train is traveling from Bobruisk, all the wheels are knocking. Come to me, Marusya, we’ll have a chat on the stove!
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At a neighbor's place, at Natalya's. Once we were rolling balls. I apologize, I was drunk - I got into her pocket with a cue...
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Like ours, Mishka, Two affairs happened, Mikhail is now a tramp, Smears his bruises with this body!
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I bought laundry soap for a guy to wash. The husband shouted to the whole block, But he didn’t become a housekeeper.
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Autumn can be good, cut and eat a mountain of fruits! It's bad if there is no hair where it should be. The baldness is getting cold.
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Grace on the Internet: Argue as much as you like. You can even send everyone - They won’t hit you in the face!
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The old grandfather was reading “Playboy” And he gave the old woman a fight. Why, you, old woman, hid Beauty under the veil.
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Footprints are visible in the snow, The cats have taken a shit again, They're sick of your mother, They, like their husbands, should still go for a walk!
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Expensive car, fake license plate, I don’t turn on the turn signal, Because it’s stupid.
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In the pioneers, grandfather Pakhom collected scrap metal. And in retirement - from the landfill He hands over beer cans.
The clearing was beautiful in the early summer at dawn! But it’s not bad with a citizen On the couch in October!
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Like our Petrusha, the wife of the “pear” let us down. He walks in love with her, (Or rather, with silicone!)
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Usually, when I get drunk, I bang my head against the wall. Either the alcohol is working, or it's due to age.
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Meladze has three rivers - all three are good! Under Via Gru the men are all lined up in one row.
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On the Internet with your head My husband is careless. I forgot what (Eh!) contraceptives are!
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In the elevator, a teenager offered me to touch the pager. The elevator shook for three minutes... Pager - great! But, fine print.
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The men are all dying - From drinking too much! If only we would work so hard, And the country would be cozy!
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The European Abroad is treating us badly. It’s good to be friends with China, and then there’s Bangladesh.
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I don’t walk past the boss’s chair without jokes! Then I’ll take it and close the closet, then I’ll enter the code into the computer.
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It was a complete mess through this grocery store. Yesterday my husband was under a fly, And my wife was under an elephant.
My wife is a cook, she cooks soup from a cube. Such a cube wouldn't give me a punch.
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Grandfather bought Tampax tampons for his grandmother. Poke them at yourself, you old bastard, and I’ll make do.
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If your husband suddenly interferes, feed him well... To the TV, put him nearby...
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If you take colored paper, a pen, scissors and glue, and a little more courage, you can make a hundred rubles.
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Red-haired hacker Vanya cracked my code under a bush. If he doesn’t get married, I’ll “BAN” him!
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I’ll post the photo on the website, In a negligee and barefoot, You guys, don’t yawn, The grooms are pushing a joint!
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A tourist met a bear at a birch stump: “You will be the tourist’s breakfast, And I will be the tourist.”
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My little one is preoccupied with Thoughts “about this” - At night he wants to penetrate... Into the bosom of the Internet!
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If you've left in the morning, it's bad to wait with a hangover. There is no need to think for a long time here, but rather to think quickly.
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I bought the drug Anti-sclerotic Immediately I remembered about the friend in the closet, almost...
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If necessary, then I will have a child in a test tube. After all, alone, like a clockwork squirrel in a cage, I’m spinning!
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- “I bought a new jaw...”, - Grandma Dina complained to everyone, - - “I spent so much money, It turned out to be a horse!”
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I wanted to meet a decent girl. Suddenly she turned out to be the very typical one.
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Putin added a few coins to our pension. Now I'm at the station, I'm going to the paid toilet.
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We were kissing like crazy, my little one and I were in the bushes. Even the false jaws got mixed up in their mouths.
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My sweetheart has lips of unreal coolness. Behind the lips, however, are teeth of unreal curvature.
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The radar detected me again, And I'm on fumes! I'm driving drunk from Mani, I'm high, like in nirvana.
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Grandma pleased grandfather: She attached a Durasel battery to his penis, so that he could stand and not hang.
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I took a bite of denatured alcohol and felt some kind of bad. This is the third day in a row that I pooped with Dynamite.
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My sweetheart Lyuba has false nails, Like two dumplings - lips, Eyelids like Viy's!
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Hairdresser and blond - and not in Amsterdam. Zverev is the only one we have: Barbie and mudas.
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I’ll take a balalaika to Space, I’ll sing ditties there. Young Martians will listen and blush.
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I don’t know why the cow says “Moo” But I know why the wife says “Wow!”
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A friend treated me to Viagra. So that I surprise my wife. I couldn’t refuse my friend, I surprised his wife.
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Here's what happened: I wanted, she wanted... But fate said: No! – We didn’t find a toilet.
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Hoping for luck, I bought myself a dacha. Eh, who should I sell it to now, I'm raking in the plow on it!
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I come back, and Van Damme is sitting at the woman’s table! If the horns didn't get in the way, I'd punch them in the faces!
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Footprints are visible in the snow, Well, now I’m screwed too! My husband jumped out with a Berdanka, That's it! The end of my dates!
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I’ll put the photo on the website, Where me and the limousine are, Just don’t drool, It was sponsored by a Georgian!
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On the right is Tanka, on the left is Alka. And in the center is Lily. Their husbands have fishing, And we have an idyll!
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Together, women, let's raise the ruble. Whom to rely on? This is not the first time for us to lift Everything that moves a little.
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Children click buttons and search for something on the Internet. I remember we looked for it in dad's magazine.
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The girl left the house and ate some bizet with vodka. And now he sings chansons in a roadside bullpen.
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My dear general Lie down and ordered to do push-ups. I lay down, and he climbed on top of me and did push-ups.
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How I grew and blossomed Until I was seventeen, And at seventeen, at a party, I was left without teeth.
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My husband took the young woman to Sochi instead of a guide for a reason. All July I caressed her, the nit, inaccessible places!
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Cosmonaut Semyon Vatrushkin, took “toys” into Orbit. And he was faithful to his wife, And he didn’t catch anything.
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She hit her husband with a frying pan, the handle fell off. You, Tefal, are a bad company, and you also boasted.
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I help raise the country's economy: Yesterday I inserted my teeth - I took off my last pants!
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How harsh Chromosomal affairs are sometimes: Look, Petrov’s wife gave birth to a Negro child!
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Silver metal bullshit flew across the sky. There's a lot of Unidentified crap these days.
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I'm flying to Mars one of these days, I'll take a box of vodka. The Martian women will meet me, Eh, there will be no end to the drinking.
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In the garden, in the garden, In the garden there is a bathhouse. The bustiest one is Anya Seminovich!
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At the market in July I took Yulia’s vibrator for caresses. At night scream: “Maniac!! Rapist!!”... It turned out to be a boiler!
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At night I brushed my teeth with the New Blend-a-Med toothpaste. In the morning I started washing my face, but there were no teeth in my mouth!
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I fell in love with the penguin, Not all of it, but half. The lower half, Fat, mobile.
Ditties from Vasily(Stanislav Abramov) | funny poems | 2013-08-09 | 7 | 123 | 103961 | |
| Sh. 1 There is a goat standing under the window, a bearded one is bleating. And what did I find in you, as an unmarried person? 2 The youth tell me, Where are you going, Vasily? And I haven’t been in trouble for a year now, Like my tractor “Belarus”!3 My wife ate my baldness, Subtly hinting, The neighbor has a cottage, And we have a little house!4 Violetta invited me to make her keys, Apart from the flowers of the bouquet, I received nothing!5 Running past , the dog raised his back paw. Yesterday Nina and I lay here on the grass until the morning.6 The plane flies over the Volga, If it falls, then hold on! You swore that you would spend your life with me for a long time. 7 Klava told me point-blank, Don’t meddle with me, Vasek, Your palm is rough, If you stroke it across! 8 In the fragrant hayloft I am alone with my friend Valya, And looking from the side, We are not visible at all! 9 The train is traveling from Bobruisk, all the wheels are knocking. Come to me, Marusya, we’ll have a chat on the stove! | ||||||
Valentine's ditties(KsyuKha) | Valentine's Day | 2014-02-14 | 16 | 127 | 103629 | |
| There is frost on the tree outside the window, Snow from morning to evening. Eh, I’ll go to Valentine’s, Because there’s nothing to do! On Valentine’s Day, don’t be bastards! Instead of vodka, take vitamins. Drink, to please your wives! At least take some flowers, And some sweets. On a bourgeois holiday, do women need a lot of joy? I have my dreams and feelings For my sweet half I’ll bake it in a pie with cabbage In the shape of a Valentine! With her fist, neighbor Ninka Knocked out her husband’s tooth - The Valentine fell out of her unbuttoned fly... I lined my eyes with mascara, I sewed a new dress... For whom I I’m sitting here, All ready for love?! You have countless friends, They’re all so different... Do you still have a Valentine? Come, let's celebrate! Eh! The abyss of love has sucked me in! I talked to Valentin, I answer - he’s not a saint! I composed a Valentine card for my friend Edik. It turned out to be clumsy - Indecent rhymes... Happy VALENTINE'S DAY to all Hochmodromos and Hochmodromites! LOVE AND BE LOVED!!! | ||||||
October ditties... or well...
(Stanislav Abramov)
About autumn2015-10-03109995193 1 Autumn can be good, cut and eat a mountain of fruits! It's bad if there is no hair where it should be. The bald patches are getting cold.2 The clearing was nice in the early summer at dawn! But it’s not bad with a citizen On the sofa in October!3 Sixty is not autumn yet, And seventy is not the time. Between two stout pines the grandfather oak got lost.4 In accordance with the era, If a crisis entered the house And stripped down to the skin - bad, Stayed alive - good!5 I am not subject to the courts, Five houses and three wives. Why do such people Die like everyone else?6 The European Abroad treats us badly. It’s good to be friends with China, And then there’s Bangladesh.7 It’s bad if they paint holes in a winter-hardy country, It’s good to end the world and get ready for war. 8 Autumn is the time of leaf fall, Geese are moving to the south. We need to save Assad, No one, but still a friend.9 The heating radiators are blazing like a furnace. Why such zeal to distract from politics?
3.10.2015
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