From this article you will learn why men are afraid to get married and how to achieve the desired marriage proposal.
Today, the times when men “ran” after girls with marriage proposals are slowly becoming a thing of the past. Today, the institution of marriage is gradually becoming obsolete. But this is only the opinion of sociologists. As a rule, most often men do not want to start a family. More than 60% of bachelors over 30 years old believe that a stamp in a passport is not at all necessary and therefore there is no point in going to the registry office.
Why many men are afraid of marriage - fear of marriage in men: reasons
A man is afraid of marriage
Women often have to deal with the fact that their loved one is afraid to get married. Of course, the question arises - how to push a man to get married? However, before doing this, it is important to understand the reasons for this behavior.
The reasons why a man is afraid of marriage are as follows:
- Past Life Examples
If a man grew up in a family where love and harmony reigned, then he will not be afraid to get married. But when the situation was different - the parents were constantly arguing, hating each other, and so on, then marriage would be negative for him. Moreover, if his father constantly incited him so that his son would not marry. Even if a man understands that everything could be different, fear will still bother him.
- Fear of losing freedom
Many men believe that you can only be happy when you are free. And marriage is a big limitation for them. After all, family life imposes a certain responsibility, forces you to be attentive and caring. Not all men are ready to part with the advantages of a bachelor's life for the sake of illusory family happiness.
A man may also feel that he will become dependent on his wife and will no longer be able to do whatever he wants.
- Fear of making a mistake
Fear of mistakes
Men also dream of finding their soul mate. Perhaps your beloved man is not eager to propose because he is not sure that you are not “the one.” You may be surprised, but 80% of men are ready to marry only for great love. And they are ready to wait for their woman as long as they like.
- Fear of falling out of love
The past always determines our behavior in the present. If a man is sure that feelings fade over time, then he will not rush into marriage. A man may be afraid that some time after marriage he will stop loving his woman.
- Fear of responsibility
As you know, in our society a man is considered the head of the family. This means that he must take care of his family materially and morally. Often men feel that they will not be able to cope with their role and will disappoint the woman.
- Boredom and everyday difficulties
Some men think marriage is boring. They are simply depressed when they have to plan vacations and weekends. If the partner himself is not ready to part with his freedom, then marriage will be akin to a cage for him.
- Fear of becoming a father
It is logical that after marriage is registered, children are born. This is accepted in our society and many are even surprised when people get married and do not have children for a long time. If a man is afraid of becoming a dad, then marriage will be something scary for him.
- Unwillingness to be faithful
Fear of being faithful
A husband should always be faithful. This is the opinion that almost all women share. Accordingly, marriage deprives a man of relationships with any other women. Everyone knows that men are polygamous, and this is inherent in their instincts, but this does not mean that they cannot be faithful. In any case, if at the moment the number of partners is important to a man, then you should not try to drag him to the registry office - he is not ready for this yet.
- Fear of being deceived
Women often look for men with some kind of calculation. So there is an established opinion that women rush to the registry office simply to get a man’s soul, and most importantly, a wallet. There are also men who believe that women enter into marriage solely for convenience. So you shouldn’t be surprised that your man doesn’t go with you to the registry office.
- Material difficulties
Sometimes the reluctance to enter into official relationships is due to financial difficulties. If a man believes that he cannot provide for his family, then he will not agree to marriage. Although, it is possible that a man simply does not want to provide for anyone.
In any case, marriage is a responsible decision, and if a man is in no hurry to enter into it, then he should not be blamed. It's better to understand the reasons. Perhaps he is simply not ready for a family yet and is trying to protect you from mental trauma in this way.
Learn the art of using transparent hints
As you know, men don’t understand hints; they need to be told directly and clearly what we women want from them. But in the case of pushing a loved one to the altar, the situation may be completely different. If your beloved does not respond to the previous points, you can give him transparent hints. For example, leave a wedding magazine in front of his nose, or tell him how you and your friend tried on a gorgeous wedding dress today, or that your mother constantly praises him and says that he will make a wonderful son-in-law. The main thing is not to overdo it. A man must be sure that asking you to marry is his impulse and decision. If you see that he is boiling, turn it into a joke.
What should you do if a man jokingly talks about marriage?
A man jokes about marriage.
Many girls begin to worry about how to push a man to get married if he only talks about it as a joke.
In fact, there is usually no reason to worry. Basically, this behavior indicates that the man already has thoughts about marriage, but he is very afraid of rejection. He jokingly asked you to get married, you laughed and forgot. And if the girl agrees, then soon she may actually receive an offer.
Some people even jokingly call themselves husband and wife, but their marriage is not officially registered. None of you have anything to lose.
However, there is also the opposite situation, when a man, on the contrary, does not really want to go to the registry office and in this way checks whether you agree with him. In other words, if he gets an agreement, he may become afraid of it and even break up with you.
In any case, here you need to look at the behavior. If you see that no one is in a hurry to ask you to marry, then talk carefully with your man to understand the reasons.
Remind him of how bad it is without you
Just let’s agree not to go to extremes like: “I’ll leave forever, but I won’t ask to get married!” If you see that there is no other way to move your loved one, leave, but without tragedy and sobs. Pack your things, return to your parents' house and give him time to decide. Don't be afraid to give ultimatums. Often a woman is lonely because she does not take a clear position and does not move on, even after learning that they do not love her and do not want her as a wife. Ultimatums are also good because it will immediately become clear to you whether you should expect something, hope for something or not, that is, how your love affairs are going in reality, and not in words.
How to push a man to get married: psychology
How to force a man to marry?
If you are thinking about how to push a man to get married, then several tricks from psychologists will come to the rescue:
- You yourself must want to get married . Think about why you want to “ring” your man so much. If your goal is simply to tie him to you, to leave your parents, or simply to gain new emotions, then it is better not to even propose marriage to a man. You should want to just be there, and not look for reasons for this.
- Don't talk about marriage out loud . This is a stereotype, but it is one of the true ones. Let the man propose himself. If you start hinting about the wedding, you will scare her off. Even if you do everything because of high feelings, you should not put pressure on him.
- Give him the brightest emotions . This applies not only to intimate life, but also to everyday life. If a man has always been a favorite of women, then find a way to reduce attention to his person. You must have a reason to see each other less often. The ideal option is to hide behind work. If he is too jealous, then do not provoke him, but rather give him what he wants. Be original - it's not difficult.
Prove your loyalty to him
- Prove your loyalty . Be careful in your pursuit. You cannot first praise another man and then talk about loving your own. This is clearly not proof of fidelity. You obviously cannot achieve any love with this behavior. Your task is to gain trust from him. An excellent option, by the way, is to give a man access to your social networks. Such an act will say a lot.
- Indifference to the wedding . If you accidentally start talking about a wedding, then briefly say your opinion. Ideally, it is better to say that the stamp in your passport is not very important to you. This will only help you benefit from the situation, because many men have the same opinion. In other words, you must show that you are thinking with your head.
- Put his fear to sleep . Try to plan the future together more often. Become one. Try to be together more, but don't impose. Always express your opinion calmly. This will all increase the chances of marriage. He is very afraid that you have no future. You must prove him wrong.
- Make his mother fall in love with you . This is the best advice you can give. The mother is always a potential rival. Her opinion is law for many. So you must do everything to please your mother-in-law. If she praises you in front of a man, then he will definitely not refuse marriage.
If you sit and think that your relationship is developing and it’s time to move to the next level, then throw these thoughts away. Just enjoy the person. You shouldn’t show off your girlfriends in order to stand out. You must always prove your love to a man, and not to others.
When the initiative is in women's hands
There are also very indecisive men who are pathologically unable to propose on their own. And this despite the fact that they are ready to live the rest of their lives with you. If this is your case, try to take the initiative into your own hands and invite him to become your husband. No, no, you don’t need to get down on one knee and solemnly swear your love. But you can quite easily arrange a romantic evening with roses, champagne and strawberries and, for example, half-jokingly read him the oath of your future wife. The text could be something like this: “My dear, I love, adore and respect you. I trust you with all my heart, support you in difficult times and understand you perfectly. I will be faithful to you, give birth to charming children and take care of you with pleasure. I need your love, tenderness, loyalty, respect, support, attention, kindness, time, honesty, and also a wedding ring and veil. Do you agree to take me, and my hand and heart in addition?” If his feelings are sincere, he will not refuse you.
Prayer for a man to get married and start a family: read
Prayer for a man's marriage
There is a special prayer for men that allows you to bring marriage into life. Please note, if you are thinking about how to push a man to get married, then this prayer is definitely not for you. He must read it himself:
Prayer to a man for marriage
Show him that you respect him
A man wants to see a calm, patient and wise woman next to him, who believes that she is lucky to be near him. If a girl constantly scolds, reproaches, insults and shows disappointment in him, then she will not become his wife. Your loved one needs warmth and care. It is worth giving compliments, showing faith in him and accepting him for who he is.
Cause jealousy
Any man begins to value his partner more if a rival appears. Make him understand that you are desirable to others. If he feels jealous, he will want to spend more time with you. But, if you start demonstratively flirting with everyone, you will only push the man away. It is also dangerous to compare him with others. He must be sure that for you he is the best and only. You must ensure that he is proud that such a spectacular woman is next to him.
Trust is a shortcut to marriage
There is one short way to get what you want, be it a relationship, marriage or anything else. Trust. Don't schedule your relationship like a work schedule. Let them be free. There is no need to control and analyze everything. Do not suspect your future spouse of endless cheating. If he wants to leave, believe me: neither marriage nor children will hold him back. Nobody owes you anything. You don't have to be loved the way you want. You cannot force one person to another. Be self-sufficient. Provide for yourself, enjoy the little things, go to the cinema and shops. Then you will become truly free and attractive. Love your chosen one with all your soul, instead of nagging him from morning to night. You have no reason to be unhappy, except for one: you chose it as your lifestyle. And even when you have the treasured stamp, you will find a reason to suffer.
Groom with a burden of responsibility
You have been living together for quite some time, it’s time to legalize your relationship. And excuses like “we can’t afford a wedding” or “we need to solve the housing problem first” seem stupid to you. Keep in mind that men are built a little differently. For some of them, a magnificent celebration, a cozy home and impeccably dressed future children are a direct confirmation of their own wealth. Perhaps your chosen one belongs to this category of men. He really needs to arrange a wedding and carry you in a chic white dress across the threshold of his apartment. And, most importantly, he doesn’t just fantasize, but throws all his strength into making his dream come true. In such a situation, you have two options. The first is to wait until your dear one gets everything that he considers necessary for your future family. The only question is how long it will take and whether he will forget about the final goal. The second option is to carefully convince your lover to achieve everything together in the process of family life. Besides, you don’t mind replacing the limousine with your best friend’s old white Volvo, renting a dress, and a removable one-room apartment will serve as a cozy home for you for a little while longer. The main thing is to offer all this along with breakfast in bed, so that your husband can feel the comfort of this tiny apartment!
However, often, along with the desire to do everything first class, a man’s path to the registry office is crossed by fear. Now you seem to love him. But what happens after the baby is born? Won't you, as young mothers write on forums, become sick of just the sight of your husband? Won't you switch completely to the child? Are you sure you will remain the same team with the former leader? Words and beliefs will not help here. Only direct evidence that your man is in charge.
Pay attention to what your chosen one spends the money you don’t have enough for your wedding on. If, while telling you about his responsibility to your future children, he claims that his old foreign car won’t start without an expensive new subwoofer, forget about the white dress. Even having earned money for a holiday and a honeymoon, he will definitely find a reason to postpone the wedding “for a little while longer.”
Check if your boyfriend is mature enough for marriage
To do this, check the following few points:
- Make sure your future spouse is willing to make a commitment. Even those men who have been in a relationship with a woman for three or more years may not be able to make commitments. And they don't want to do it. You can only push a man who loves you into marriage. Who managed to do everything he had to do (that is, “worked up”). And who himself dreams of starting a family.
- Make sure now is the right time to get married. A guy will agree to a wedding only if the current moment for this is suitable in his life. If he is currently busy building a career or trying to “live life to the fullest,” then he is unlikely to want to get married. Because at the moment his thoughts are occupied with something else. Therefore, you should only talk about future marriage at the right time.
- Make sure that the guy sees a future exclusively with you. This point is very important. Because if this condition is not taken into account, it means the guy does not want to be with you all his life. Therefore, he will not want to get married. It’s very easy to check whether a guy sees a future with you. Look at the way he talks about the future. Does he say “We...” rather than “I” about upcoming events. If he constantly mentions that you will have a big house, a nice car and many children, then this is a good sign. Most likely, he imagines his future life with you.
- Try to understand how the guy feels about the wedding. Most men are skeptical about this event. They seem to want to get married. But they plan to do this as late as possible. To avoid taking on additional obligations. If a guy has a positive attitude towards marriage, it will have a great effect on you. Because it will be easier to persuade him to propose. If it is negative, then it will be more difficult to do this.
The main myth about the wedding ceremony
Since childhood, girls have been watching beautiful fairy tales: “Cinderella”, “The Little Mermaid” and others. This all creates the false idea that if a partner loves, he is simply obliged to marry. After all, it's beautiful. White dress, veil, parents are crying with happiness, girlfriends are jealous, and your ex is biting his elbows because he missed you... And after the celebration, you, happy, look at the wedding photos, holding hands. It's an illusion. A wedding is simply a Christian ceremony. Previously, due to the foundations of society, this was necessary for a girl so that she could live a normal life. And the weddings themselves were different. People gathered together, walked in their houses and lived family life. Today, formalizing relationships has turned into window dressing. Both here and here, all the magazines are full of celebrities in luxurious dresses costing several tens of thousands of dollars. The girls are dying to have the same holiday. Let it be more modest, but so that it remains a “beautiful memory.” And then it started... Dress, restaurant, invitations, groom's suit and guests. The wedding industry has long become a business. A wedding is perceived not as the main event in the lives of two people, but as an opportunity for self-expression through this holiday. What then? Give up the false idea that you will be reviewing the wedding CD and album while smiling. Ask those who have already gotten married how often they do this. The reality is that after the celebrations, which many spend on credit, debts remain. There is not enough money, and your beloved husband must fall asleep and wake up with a headache about where to earn money for food, utilities, etc. So, maybe, instead of constantly thinking about how to force a man to marry you, you will think about him too?
