Blessing of the groom's godmother before the wedding

Who and how should bless the newlyweds before the wedding?

A wedding is a significant event for both the groom and the bride. After all, after this day they will forever be bound by marital ties. This day is also trembling and exciting for parents, since they are giving their “little blood” into “strange” hands and it is unknown how the relationship in the family will develop further. Therefore, at every wedding, parents say parting words for a new life to the young. This parting word is called a parental blessing.
Parents are the most precious people who gave life. They simply cannot wish anything bad for their child, and no matter how difficult it is, they choose the warmest, deepest and most tender words that come from the heart. Therefore, this rite is considered sacred, and during the blessing, icons with the faces of saints are used. From time immemorial there has been a tradition of blessing the bride and groom before the wedding by the latter's parents. But the couple receives a blessing from the groom’s parents after the painting or wedding.

Icons for blessing children before marriage

Every Orthodox family has icons with which parents bless their children for travel, study, or against adversity and illness. These can be the holy faces of Guardian Angels, St. Nicholas the Pleasant or the Mother of God. The time comes, and the children ask their parents for their blessing for the wedding, receiving it through prayers to the icons of the Mother of God and the image of the Savior.

Kazan Icon of the Virgin Mary

The Holy Kazan image of the Mother of God is the most revered among Orthodox Christians. Thanks to the miracles that occurred after prayers at this image, believers chose it as the main holy face to bless their children.

The Kazan Icon of the Mother of God is the intercessor and patroness of the Russian people.

Kazan Icon of the Blessed Virgin Mary

It was this face, with the blessing of Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Rus', that was sent on a space journey so that the Protection of the Mother of God would spread over the entire earth, giving it peace. Parents first invoke the protection of the Mother of God for the future family life of their daughter or son when they agree to create a new family during the engagement.

In the Kazan way, the priest meets the newlyweds in the church and, with her help, conducts the wedding ceremony, asking the Mother of God:

• anointing for a strong family;
• childbearing;
• health to all members of the new family;
• peace;
• well-being.

With this icon, the mother blesses her daughter, giving parting words on how to build a happy family.

Holy image of the Savior Almighty

Every Orthodox family carries out prayer rules in front of the icon of the Savior. This image can be a sacred heritage, passed down from generation to generation, from parents to children, they ask Jesus for God's protection for the future family, giving it joy and protection in need.

Icon "Savior Almighty"

A distinctive feature of the image of the Savior is the open Bible in Christ’s right hand; with his left hand, folded to make the sign of the cross, Jesus blesses the Christian praying in front of him.

On a note! The icon of the “Savior Almighty” is used by parents to bless their son before the wedding, and with it the young couple enters their common house.

For modern weddings, they buy a wedding couple in the form of a folding of two images of the Mother of God and the Savior, which is convenient to store in any apartment or house. The main condition when preparing images for a wedding or blessing before marriage is consecration in a church, if the holy images were not purchased in a church shop.

When should we bless the young?

The couple receives an official blessing on their wedding day. How does this happen? The young man comes to pick up the bride and the first thing he does is buy her from his girlfriends and relatives. After the ransom is completed, when the groom has “proved” that he is ready to give everything for his beloved, the young woman is released to the groom and preparations begin for the Wedding Palace or church for the wedding. Before leaving, the future father-in-law and mother-in-law bless the newlyweds with the icon, wishing them happy and long years of married life.

As for the blessing from the groom's parents, they receive it after the painting or wedding, upon arrival home (in the modern interpretation, this is the restaurant where the banquet is held). They meet the newlyweds with icons and give parting words not only to their son, but also to their “acquired” daughter. Since the bride is part of this family, the groom's parents, with their blessing, recognize her as part of their family and commit to her as their child.

As the ancient belief says: “only after parental blessing can a strong, real and happy family be created.” After all, it is believed that the parent’s word is endowed with mysterious power and how it is pronounced will affect the future of the new family.

What icon to give for a wedding

Very often, newlyweds receive wedding icons from their parents as a sign of their blessing and parental guidance for their future family life. Whatever icon the newlyweds are given for their wedding (there can be several of them at once), they must have an icon of the Mother of God. Often they give paired icons of saints who became famous for their pious lives and marital fidelity: Peter and Fevronia of Murom, the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia, and Saints Joachim and Anna.

Wedding icons should definitely be preserved. If a young family prays, then the images can be hung or placed so that prayers can always be offered in front of them; if the young people have not yet come to the Faith of Christ, then the icons need to be wrapped and hidden until the time when they believe.

Where are the young blessed?

It was already noted above that the bride and groom receive two blessings on their wedding day:

• the first from the bride's parents before the trip to the registry office (church);
• the second from the groom's parents after the ceremony.

Accordingly, the answer to the question of where the blessing ceremony should take place is simple. The newlyweds receive their first parting words in the bride's parents' house, and the newlyweds who have already taken place receive the second blessing in the house of the groom's parents. Since in the modern world they practically no longer “walk with the whole village” in a hut in the parental home, parting words from the father-in-law and mother-in-law are often received in a restaurant where a banquet has been ordered for the guests.

Wedding rituals and traditions associated with godparents

And now more specifically about what a godmother should do at the wedding of a goddaughter or godson, as well as in preparation for this important event.

• If for any reason the birth mother cannot attend the wedding, her godmother takes her place.
• Previously, newlyweds arriving at the groom's house were greeted with a lush loaf of bread; now this tradition is mainly used at the entrance to the banquet hall. In this case, the godmother is entrusted with baking the attribute. It is desirable that the woman is married and happy in her marriage - this way she will share positive energy with the newlyweds when kneading the dough.
• In addition to the loaf, the godmother is also entrusted with the towel on which it will lie. The “second mother” should embroider Slavic ornaments in the form of birds together with the bride.

Towel with birds from godmother to godchildren

• Traditionally, the godfather and godmother at a wedding decorate the newlyweds' room, including their wedding bed.
• Now are no longer the times when parents choose a chosen one or a chosen one for children. However, the tradition of matchmaking has survived to this day in some families. The organization of this ceremony should be carried out by the godmother on the groom’s side.
• A very beautiful wedding tradition, like lighting candles (a symbol of the family hearth) and handing them over to the new husband and wife, also, as a rule, rests on the shoulders of the godmother.
• If the newlyweds do not just sign in the registry office, but enter into a divine union in the church, the presence of godparents on both sides at such an event is very important. During the wedding, spiritual mothers hold crowns over the newlyweds.

Godparents hold crowns over the heads of their godchildren at the wedding.
In fact, the duties of the godmother at the goddaughter’s wedding include any possible assistance that her successor needs, from moral to material support. Also, the godmother should take part in organizing the celebration and take on some of the troubles.

What icon do the bride's parents bless the newlyweds with?

It is customary that the parents of the young woman give their parting words while holding the icon of the Kazan Mother of God in their hands. In the Orthodox Church we especially honor this image, since the Mother of God was, and is still considered, the intercessor of the Slavic people. Such an icon is considered female, since the Mother of God is asked for the birth of a child, and they pray that she will protect the house from evil forces and misfortunes.

Interesting fact: At the instigation of Patriarch Kirill of Moscow, the holy image of the Kazan Mother of God was sent into space in 2011.

Godmother at the godson's wedding and her role

time immemorial, it was the godparents who were tasked with the spiritual and moral education of children , as well as the organization of their personal lives. Now the features of these traditions are still preserved in some Orthodox families. It’s great if the relationship between godparents and godparents remains close and warm from childhood to adulthood. In this case, their presence at the wedding is not just a formal observance of customs.

For the bride, the godmother is, first of all, a spiritual mentor and friend, to whom you can always turn for wise advice and trust her with some secrets.

On such a special and important day as a wedding, the support of a loved one is needed more than ever. No less in need of moral support from the godmother and the groom . In addition, the “second mother,” being the embodiment of the feminine ideal for her successor from a young age, must tell him parting words so that he always respects his soul mate and takes care of her, and becomes a worthy husband and father.

What icon do the groom's parents bless the newlyweds with?

As for the meeting of the newlyweds by the groom's parents, this happens with an icon of the Savior in their hands. In Orthodoxy, such an image is called the Savior Almighty; the icon depicts the Son of God, who holds the open Gospel in one hand, and with the other gives a blessing to everyone looking at him. They turn to this icon both in difficult times and in moments of joy, and also pray for the well-being of the family.

Traditionally in Rus', this icon was the first to be brought into the newlyweds’ house.

Today, it is allowed for the newlyweds to meet the parents of both the groom and the bride after the wedding ceremony. At such a meeting, two icons are held in their hands (the icon of the Kazan Mother of God is brought to the restaurant by the bride’s parents), but the ceremony of blessing is carried out by the groom’s parents in the face of the Savior.

What traditions are we talking about?

• Matchmaking
• Blessing
• Wedding

Matchmaking is a custom that existed in ancient Rus'. The groom's godparents were the matchmakers, and they went to the bride's house. They gave gifts, brought wine, praised the groom, talked about both his wealth and his knowledge and skills.

The bride's parents, who wanted to refuse the marriage, gave the matchmakers a pumpkin, and those who wanted to agree, accepted their bread, cut it, and served it to all participants in the matchmaking. Today this custom is practically not performed.

Nowadays, matchmaking is symbolic; the parents of both parties no longer decide whether there will be a wedding; rather, they meet to discuss the details.

Blessing for marriage. The custom of asking for blessings from parents is still alive, however, everyone has long forgotten that, first of all, blessings are asked from the godfather and godmother. This means that godparents must say their first “wedding” words even before the wedding.

How to properly bless the groom's young parents?

There can be two scenarios for blessing newlyweds who have already taken place.

• In the first version, only the parents of the young man greet the couple with the icon of the Savior.
• In the second, the parents of both the bride and groom greet the newlyweds with two icons.

The images must be wearing towels, since it is not recommended to take them with bare hands. According to tradition, the image of the Savior is held by the groom's father. He speaks parting words first, then gives his mother his blessing. The newlyweds cross themselves with the icon three times, and the groom is allowed to kiss the image first, then the bride.

If both sets of parents are meeting, then the father of the groom and the mother of the bride can be placed in the center with icons. And on the sides, for example, the father of the bride with champagne and the mother of the groom with a loaf of bread. In this case, both pairs of parents can give a blessing to the new family in turn and bless them with two icons, baptizing the young three times and letting them kiss the icons in turn, starting with the groom. After the blessing ceremony, the newlyweds are served a loaf and salt, as well as glasses and champagne.

Godmother's speech at the wedding

During the wedding celebration, the script includes a special part for the godmother's speech. So the words can consist of a blessing to a young family, a parting speech to the newlyweds, or a solemn presentation of a gift. But you can also follow customs: as a rule, at a wedding, the married mother gives the bride a symbolic family hearth in the form of a candle, which the goddaughter undertakes to preserve. The words conveying this symbol are presented in poetic form, in the form of a prayer, a song, or simply in beautiful words. You can look for samples on the Internet, but a speech from the heart will sound much better and more touching.

The words of a spiritual mother should not only be parting words and instructive, but also sound from the bottom of the heart with sincere wishes for happiness, health and family well-being. In response to the godparents' congratulations, the bride and groom also say thank-you speeches and give gifts in return. The named daughter, as a form of gratitude, presents the matchmakers with gifts of an intimate nature in the form of underwear, but not modern, but according to ancient customs - undershirts, in which they usually wash in church baths and holy springs. Moreover, these shirts must be embroidered personally by the bride.

After the wedding, mentoring responsibilities are not removed from the “second mother and father,” and they will always support the young family with advice and, if possible, financially.

Words from godparents at a wedding: the role of second parents.

The words of godparents spoken at the wedding are very important, because their congratulations will also become the last spiritual parting words before entering adulthood. It is especially important for spiritual parents to emphasize the value of marriage in their speech.

If you follow all the traditions and customs, then the role of godparents at a wedding is comparable in importance to the role of the parents of the newlyweds.

How should the bride's young parents be blessed?

The first blessing, held before going to the registry office or church, is held at the bride's home, after the groom has passed all the tests. It can be carried out in different ways.

• If you follow all the rules and traditions, then only the bride and groom, parents and godparents are present at the blessing.
• Modern rules are not so “strict”, so everyone participating in the ransom and guests are invited to the blessing ceremony.

The blessing itself goes as follows. The girl’s father gives the mother an icon of the Mother of God, the mother takes it with a towel and gives a parting speech to her daughter and son-in-law, after which the father speaks. At the end of the speech, the girl’s mother baptizes her daughter with the icon three times, then her son-in-law three times. In conclusion, the two young people are baptized with the icon three times, thereby the mother-in-law recognizes that they are a couple. Next, he gives the icon a kiss, first to his daughter, then to his son-in-law. Young people must cross themselves before leaning against the image.

Let's summarize

• The parents of the bride carry out the ritual of blessing when the groom arrives at their house before leaving for the registry office, having gone through all the “circles of hell” of the ransom and the tests of the bridesmaids.
• Traditionally, icons of Jesus Christ and the Mother of God (of Kazan, or any other image) are used in the ritual.
• Among our ancestors, there was also a parental blessing, although not in the form of a beautiful ritual, but as a sign of approval of the choice of a son or daughter.

And here is what an Orthodox priest says about parental blessing:
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Words of blessing from mother to daughter before wedding: text

Dear daughter! I am so glad to see your sparkling eyes, full of love and happiness, your sincere smile and inexhaustible energy - this is the greatest happiness for a mother! Today is a new, happy stage in your life, and I really want this happiness to last for many years. Listen to my parting words - take care of your husband, be loving and gentle, fill your life together with ease and joy, be a supporter for your spouse in difficult moments, be wise and understanding. May your future spouse make you the happiest woman in the world, may you know what it is like to be a beloved wife, dear mother, happy grandmother. Preserve your love, your sincere and pure relationship, increase your happiness, because so many joyful and bright days await you together! I bless you, my dear!

Words of blessing from the mother of the bride to the newlyweds at the wedding: text

Dear and beloved newlyweds! I will say without hiding that today is a very exciting day for me. I give my dear girl into the loving hands of her husband and now my son! I give it with a light heart, with confidence that you will take care of each other, preserve your sincere feelings, protect your family from evil eyes. I wish you to be each other’s support, an oasis in the desert, a source of vital energy and love. Be happy!

Video: How to bless the young?

Well, to summarize, we note that after the wedding, the icons remain in the family of the newlyweds. They become a family heirloom, which is designed to protect and protect this family from adversity, disease and sadness. Believers place images in the corner or above the bed. Those who are not so devout keep the icons in a certain place without displaying them. According to tradition, these icons are inherited by children at their wedding.

Here is a short excursion into the traditions and rituals of blessing young parents; perhaps you will be interested in reading about this:

• “Fashionable wedding styles. Organizing a wedding with your own hands";
• “The best wedding scenarios. How to spend the second wedding day?
• "Wedding signs and superstitions for the bride and groom."

How can you get debunked?

• The dissolution of a God-blessed Marriage is a great sin, therefore there is no such thing as “debunking”. It is impossible to bless sin; the Savior Himself commanded: what God has joined together, let not man separate (Matt. 19:6). In Orthodoxy there are no destructive rites at all: baptism, debunking, defrocking. What is given liturgically is terminated by the decision of the bishop.
• If the first marriage actually broke up, then the innocent party may be given a blessing for the second marriage, and, as a last resort, for the third, but no more. A blessing can only be given by the diocesan bishop, but not by the priest.