Since ancient times, blessing the parents of their children with an icon before the wedding was considered obligatory; It was impossible to walk down the aisle without parental blessing, and this was done only in exceptional cases.
The significance of parental blessing was very great; it served as a kind of moral support for a young family
In our time of widespread proliferation of so-called civil marriages, that is, marriages without registration, it sometimes seems that the blessing of the newlyweds with an icon, and indeed the parental blessing in general, has lost its meaning, but this is not true. More and more couples, after officially registering their marriage in the registry office, are getting married in the temple of God, even those whose family history goes back many years.
In former times, in every house there were icons in the red corner, in front of which they prayed and with which parents blessed their children during engagement (betrothal), that is, a preliminary agreement on marriage. Then the groom put a wedding ring on the bride’s finger, and the parents took out the icons from the red corner and blessed them.
It should be recalled that even today an icon for blessing the newlyweds must certainly be consecrated in the church
In addition, icons for a wedding blessing cannot be held with bare hands; they must be covered with a towel.
What icon is used to bless a son for marriage?
Most often, modern parents give their blessing to their son for marriage directly on the wedding day, before he goes to pick up the bride. We will tell you below about how to bless your son with an icon before the wedding, what to say.
According to tradition, parents give their son a blessing for marriage with the icon of the Savior Pantocrator, one of the most significant for believers
The Icon of the Almighty Savior helps to strengthen one’s faith, overcome life’s trials, and receive support in difficult situations.
How the ritual is performed in the bride's house
On the wedding day, following modern traditions, the groom must come for the bride and, before taking her away from her parents' house forever, complete a number of tasks, and also provide a ransom for her.
After passing the tests, the bride and groom are reunited, and the time of blessing comes. This ritual must be carried out without the participation of guests. To do this, the newlyweds and their parents, as well as the bride's godparents, must retire. The young mother should hold the icon with a towel facing the newlyweds. And they should face their parents. If the mother and father decided to bless their daughter while sitting, then the newlyweds need to kneel on the wedding towel to do this.
There is no canonized speech for blessing a daughter or mandatory conventional words or symbolic phrases. Parents can freely advise their daughter and her chosen one, confirming their consent to their marriage and wishing them a happy, prosperous family life.
After the parting words have been spoken, the mother of the bride must cross her daughter three times, then her future husband, then them together as a couple. The father should do the same. The young must also cross themselves and kiss the relic.
Icon for blessing a daughter before the wedding
Like their son, parents bless their daughter with an icon today, most often on the wedding day, before the groom arrives.
The daughter is blessed with the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, one of the most revered among Orthodox Christians
The same icon is used to marry newlyweds in church. She is of particular importance for women, as she is the intercessor and patroness of the family and peace in it; people resort to her help to protect the house from evil, give birth to healthy children, and they pray to her for healing from illnesses.
Parting words for the groom before the registry office
While the bride receives blessings from her parents, her own ritual is also carried out at the groom's house. The table is covered with a snow-white tablecloth. They put bread on it, put salt and water next to it, and a burning candle. The groom kneels down and receives a blessing from his parents. The father takes his son by the hand and walks him around the set table three times. The mother must follow them, holding an icon of the Savior and a candle in her hands. Thus, the son receives support not only from his parents, but also from his entire family. After this, the groom can go after the bride.
What icon is used to bless the young?
As already mentioned, different icons are used to bless sons and daughters.
For the joint blessing of the young, the best option is a combination of these two images - the Savior Pantocrator and the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, purchased in a church shop and consecrated in the church
How to properly bless the groom's young parents?
There can be two scenarios for blessing newlyweds who have already taken place.
- In the first version, only the parents of the young man greet the couple with the icon of the Savior.
- In the second, the parents of both the bride and groom greet the newlyweds with two icons.
The images must be wearing towels, since it is not recommended to take them with bare hands. According to tradition, the image of the Savior is held by the groom's father. He speaks parting words first, then gives his mother his blessing. The newlyweds cross themselves with the icon three times, and the groom is allowed to kiss the image first, then the bride.
If both sets of parents are meeting, then the father of the groom and the mother of the bride can be placed in the center with icons. And on the sides, for example, the father of the bride with champagne and the mother of the groom with a loaf of bread. In this case, both pairs of parents can give a blessing to the new family in turn and bless them with two icons, baptizing the young three times and letting them kiss the icons in turn, starting with the groom. After the blessing ceremony, the newlyweds are served a loaf and salt, as well as glasses and champagne.
How to bless newlyweds with an icon
Usually parents experience great excitement at this moment, so it is better not to make long speeches, but only give their parting words to their children so that they always love and support each other. The mother holds an icon (or better yet, a folded one) in her hands, and the father holds a loaf (also on a towel). After a short parting word, the young people should cross themselves three times and present them with an icon, which the young people also cross and then kiss. In the old days, young people knelt to receive their parents’ blessing, which emphasized the solemnity of the moment.
Blessing Examples
- Dear daughter, today you are leaving your parents’ home and starting a new life. Building a family is a difficult and responsible job. We have invested in you all those important qualities that will make you a good wife. And I am sure that everything will work out for you. You will be a great wife and a wonderful mother. Solve all life's obstacles with wisdom, support your husband, treat him with understanding. You become one, and I am very happy for you! God will help you!
- My daughter! Today your childhood dream has come true. You wanted to be a fairytale princess in a beautiful dress. I wanted a prince to come to you on a white horse. I wanted a lot of guests and gifts. Today is the day when all this comes true. But just remember, my dear, that real life is not a fairy tale. You will get everything you want if you continue to work at it. I wish you to be a charming, light, cheerful, but at the same time wise woman. Love your husband and take care of him. I hope he can extend the fairy tale of your life for a very long time.
Our dear daughter. Today the moment has come when dad and I are letting you into adulthood. Remember that building good family relationships is not easy, it requires a lot of patience. Your husband will be the head of the family, and you should be a faithful and kind helper. You are now becoming a family and all problems must be solved together. Happiness and love to you!
- My favorite girl! Know that a woman develops in four main roles: mother, daughter, bride and wife. You have already performed two roles perfectly. The remaining two are the most important. I wish you to become a wonderful wife and an excellent mother. Let there always be understanding, order and respect in your family. Support each other at every stage. Be kind and tolerant. I bless you!
- My girl! It seems like not so long ago you tried on my shoes and dresses and dreamed of how you would wear them as an adult. It was very funny watching you try to paint your lips for the first time, and now you are already teaching me all the rules of makeup. Time is fleeting. I am happy to see how your eyes shine when you look at your chosen one. On this amazing day, I wish you wisdom and understanding. And to you, son, patience and strength. Keep your love and happiness for many years to come. Congratulations!
- Dear daughter. People say, “many search, but only a few find.” You found each other and found your happiness. Store it for as long as possible. I really want the smile to never leave your faces, so that your eyes shine with love and tenderness. Don't be afraid of problems, everything passes. After the rain the sun always comes out. If your loved one's shoulder is nearby, then you can overcome any difficulties. Be a support and support for each other. We are always here for you. I bless you!
What icon to give for a wedding
Very often, newlyweds receive wedding icons from their parents as a sign of their blessing and parental guidance for their future family life. Whatever icon the newlyweds are given for their wedding (there can be several of them at once), they must have an icon of the Mother of God. Often they give paired icons of saints who became famous for their pious lives and marital fidelity: Peter and Fevronia of Murom, the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia, and Saints Joachim and Anna.
Wedding icons should definitely be preserved. If a young family prays, then the images can be hung or placed so that prayers can always be offered in front of them; if the young people have not yet come to the Faith of Christ, then the icons need to be wrapped and hidden until the time when they believe.
What should you say when blessing your daughter with an icon?
Blessing a daughter before marriage is an old tradition .
It is believed that parting words from parents will protect the young family from unnecessary adversity, strengthen the union and help with the addition to the family. Despite the fact that this tradition is quite ancient, most modern couples adhere to it.
After all, no one else but parents can give practical advice and share the wisdom of family life.
Many years ago, weddings without the blessing of parents were considered doomed and, to some extent, forbidden.
But even now, marriage without parental approval brings with it many difficulties.
Supporting your own daughter on her wedding day, who seemed like just yesterday was running to school in pigtails with a ribbon, was a very touching moment. Parents find it difficult to restrain their trembling voices, and their daughters find it difficult to hold back tears. The spoken words will be remembered for a lifetime and will be passed on to your grandchildren.
According to the rule, the blessing of the daughter took place twice . The first time was during matchmaking. The parents met the groom and, if the outcome of the matchmaking was positive, they gave the go-ahead for the further ceremony. The main attribute of the ceremony was a loaf of bread and a hand- painted towel. Their presence symbolized the consent of the bride's parents to the wedding.
The second blessing was given before the wedding celebration itself. The ceremony consisted of instructing the daughter on her future family life. Both the bride and groom were blessed with icons.
There is no clear scenario for blessing in the modern way of life. As a rule, the words of the father and mother of the bride should come from the heart. What to say when blessing?
- They start with the main wish for peace and mutual understanding in a young family; it was said that husband and wife are one whole. In their speech, parents wish love, kindness, healthy children.
- Based on their life experience, parents instruct the bride how she should behave with her husband and his parents. They instruct you to be modest, to listen to your husband, to listen to your mother-in-law.
- Parents gave advice on how to survive difficulties and stay together no matter what.
- A prayer is read.
By giving their consent to the union of the newlyweds, the bride’s parents not only approve of their daughter’s choice of husband, but also undertake thereby to help and support the new family in the future. Support in difficult times and also share all the joys with children.
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The blessing ceremony, as a rule, should take place on the day of the wedding or wedding at home, when the girl spends her last hours in her parents' house being unmarried. It will be better if the parents say the main words alone with their daughter, and more general wishes - when filming, in order to preserve this wonderful moment for a long memory.
The blessing ritual before marriage is familiar to many peoples. Each of them had and now has its own special features of its implementation. It is typical for Christians to perform a ritual with an icon. Ideally, it would be good if the icon is an old family heirloom that is passed down from generation to generation.
The icon of the Kazan Mother of God has long been considered the patron saint of the family and was given as a gift from the bride. The parents blessed their daughter in the “red corner” of the house where the relic was kept. The girl faces the icon and her parents. It is necessary to cross the bride with the icon three times and let her kiss. After this, the icon was given to a young couple, where it protected the family hearth in a new home.
Looking at this feature of the ritual with a modern look, believers still should not abandon it. It is believed that blessing with an icon will be an excellent start to a happy family life. If there is no icon in the bride’s family, then it’s okay. You can simply buy it in advance and also give it to the newlyweds before the celebration.
Other donated items and family values, like the icon, are one of the symbols of the daughter’s blessing ceremony. A memorable gift will be jewelry belonging to the mother of the bride: a ring, earrings or necklace. But the so-called “dowry,” ranging from kitchen utensils to a valuable property gift, can also serve the same role.
Parting words from the older generation to the young at the most important moments in life play a significant role. To some extent, they are also a talisman and determine one’s future fate. This needs to be taken seriously. It was not for nothing that our ancestors honored the ritual of blessing, seeing in it a special magical power.
Some useful tips for parents and daughters before the blessing ceremony:
- Parents need to take care in advance of purchasing the appropriate paraphernalia: icons, towels. Ready-made kits can be purchased at the church.
- The speech for the ritual can be either in free form or in poetry. If you wish, you can read a prayer for the blessing of your child.
- It is better to bless your daughter at home and before the registry office. After the wedding, parents can already turn to the groom with instructions.
- Nothing more is required from the daughter and bride herself except obedient silence.
Wedding blessing prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, prayers for the sake of Thy Most Pure Mother, hear me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant. Lord, in the mercy of Your power my children (names), have mercy and save them for Your name’s sake. Lord, forgive them all the sins, voluntary and involuntary, that they committed before You. Lord, guide them on the true path of Your commandments and enlighten them and enlighten them with Your light of Christ, for the salvation of the soul and the healing of the body. Lord, bless them in the house, around the house, at school, in the field, at work and on the road, and in every place of Your possession. Lord, protect them under the shelter of Your Saints from a flying bullet, arrow, knife, sword, poison, fire, flood, from a deadly plague (atomic rays) and from vain death. Lord, protect them from visible and invisible enemies, from all troubles, evils and misfortunes. Lord, heal them from all diseases, cleanse them from all filth (wine, tobacco, drugs) and ease their mental suffering and sorrow. Lord, grant them the grace of Your Holy Spirit for many years of life, health and chastity. Lord, increase and strengthen their mental abilities and physical strength. Lord, give them Your blessing for a godly family life and godly childbearing. Lord, grant also to me, Thy unworthy and sinful servant, a parental blessing on my child at this time of morning, day, evening and night for the sake of Thy name, for Thy Kingdom is eternal, omnipotent and omnipotent. Amen.
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Who and how should bless the newlyweds before the wedding?
A wedding is a significant event for both the groom and the bride. After all, after this day they will forever be bound by marital ties. This day is also trembling and exciting for parents, since they are giving their “little blood” into “strange” hands and it is unknown how the relationship in the family will develop further. Therefore, at every wedding, parents say parting words for a new life to the young. This parting word is called a parental blessing.
Parents are the most precious people who gave life. They simply cannot wish anything bad for their child, and no matter how difficult it is, they choose the warmest, deepest and most tender words that come from the heart. Therefore, this rite is considered sacred, and during the blessing, icons with the faces of saints are used. From time immemorial there has been a tradition of blessing the bride and groom before the wedding by the latter's parents. But the couple receives a blessing from the groom’s parents after the painting or wedding.
Words of blessing from the mother of the bride to the newlyweds at the wedding: text
Dear and beloved newlyweds! I will say without hiding that today is a very exciting day for me. I give my dear girl into the loving hands of her husband and now my son! I give it with a light heart, with confidence that you will take care of each other, preserve your sincere feelings, protect your family from evil eyes. I wish you to be each other’s support, an oasis in the desert, a source of vital energy and love. Be happy!
How should the bride's young parents be blessed?
The first blessing, held before going to the registry office or church, is held at the bride's home, after the groom has passed all the tests. It can be carried out in different ways.
- If you follow all the rules and traditions, then only the bride and groom, parents and godparents are present at the blessing.
- Modern rules are not so “strict”, so everyone participating in the ransom and guests are invited to the blessing ceremony.
The blessing itself goes as follows. The girl’s father gives the mother an icon of the Mother of God, the mother takes it with a towel and gives a parting speech to her daughter and son-in-law, after which the father speaks. At the end of the speech, the girl’s mother baptizes her daughter with the icon three times, then her son-in-law three times. In conclusion, the two young people are baptized with the icon three times, thereby the mother-in-law recognizes that they are a couple. Next, he gives the icon a kiss, first to his daughter, then to his son-in-law. Young people must cross themselves before leaning against the image.
