The dream of every couple in love is to have an unusual and original wedding.
To do this, you need to decide on the choice of style, according to what traditions and at what time the celebration will take place. Over time, wedding customs have changed significantly. For example, in the old days, an Orthodox wedding was celebrated for two days, and during church fasts such events were never held, so the date of the celebration was chosen according to the Orthodox calendar. However, even today many old traditions are included in the wedding scenario.
General information
An Orthodox wedding is, first of all, a wedding ceremony. Many modern young couples, wanting to follow traditions, plan a wedding event in accordance with customs. An Orthodox wedding consists of several stages:
— Matchmaking (negotiations between representatives of two families about the upcoming marriage). In the old days in Rus', few people were interested in whether a girl agreed to marriage. The boy's parents selected a suitable bride for their son and sent matchmakers. Often, future newlyweds learned that they were going to get married during matchmaking.
— Smotriny (visit by the bride’s relatives to the groom’s house). This custom implied that the bride's parents should make sure that they were placing their daughter in good hands so that the groom could provide for his wife and future children.
— Engagement (a conspiracy between the parents of the future newlyweds). In the old days, this day was the beginning of a wedding.
— Bachelorette party (in the bride’s house) and bachelor party for the groom.
- A wedding in a church.
- Partying.
Nowadays, everything has become much simpler: two or three days before the wedding, lovers hold a bachelorette and bachelor party. In the old days, this was considered the last meeting of young people with girlfriends and friends, usually accompanied by sad songs and wishes for the future.
Indeed, for the lovers, the stage of a free and serene life was ending. Today these events are of a completely different nature - fun and entertaining.
A Christian can hiccup his wife everywhere, except in places where people indulge in sin.
Where to look for a loving, caring, faithful wife? Alas, going to an Orthodox church does not guarantee a positive result. As we can observe, many people go to church who are far from the principles of Holy Scripture in their lives.
You should not force yourself into some kind of framework just because you belong to the Orthodox faith. It is wrong to search in the temple, but forget about your personal life when you go outside. Still, the church is a place of communication with God, and the rest of the world was created by Him for a reason.
The temple is not a place for romantic acquaintances, it is needed for communication with God
You can search for a wife everywhere: take a closer look at the women around you, look at their qualities, manners, and characteristics. Carefully meet girls, have casual conversations and draw conclusions about how suitable you are for each other.
Priest Igor Silchenkov claims that an Orthodox person can make acquaintances everywhere, except in places where people indulge in sinful activities, for example, drinking. He believes that such acquaintances will not lead to the formation of a good family. More details in the video:
The priest also says that the main question is not “where to meet,” but “how to meet.” He calls for humility, service, and patience. Developing these qualities, giving up sinful addictions is a cleansing of the soul. And it will bring your meeting closer to the girl who suits you.
Before meeting a girl, it is useful to cultivate your positive personal qualities
As for dating in an Orthodox environment, such situations do happen. Sometimes even the priest himself can bring two believers together. Archpriest Artemy Vladimirov, rector of the Church of All Saints in the former Novoalekseevsky Monastery, talks about this trend:
“Nowadays, priests are turning into matchmakers for babarikhas. I think this is a special topic for conversation. The priest carries a data bank within himself. On the one hand, one person came up and said: “I’m afraid to be alone in this world, where is the one to whom I could give my devoted and faithful love.”
A young man came up on the other side and said: “I’m tired of deception and lies, I don’t want to step on the same rake anymore, I want to find a life partner who would walk with me hand in hand along the path of selfless love.” You have to be very careful here.
Under no circumstances should the priest mechanically connect destinies, but rather give a little hint and push: “But tomorrow we have a tour from the church to the miraculous icons of the Mother of God in Moscow. Don't want to participate? I recommend that you sit next to this person. You will probably have some common topics to think about.”
Artemy Vladimirov
Archpriest
See also the article by Artemy Vladimirov
Details
On the morning of the wedding day, the future newlyweds should be blessed by their parents
The groom is obliged to prepare a wedding bouquet and then present it to his beloved. For the bridesmaids, the husband-to-be can send a basket of favors to win them over.
The beginning of a modern Orthodox wedding is considered to be the bride price. This is a test for the groom, who must prove to others that he is worthy of this girl. This custom is accompanied by various competitions, jokes, and gags, during which the groom will have to pay with coins. Initially, this custom was that the groom had to buy his future wife from her relatives by paying money. In the modern version, money does not play a key role, however, great emphasis is placed on test competitions, after passing which the groom will be able to get closer to his dream - the bride and present her with a wedding bouquet.
After the ransom ceremony, the newlyweds go to register their marriage at the registry office, where the solemn part of the ceremony takes place. Parents and close relatives give them parting words. At a certain time, the wedding cortege with the future newlyweds arrives at the registry office. After the official wedding, when all the necessary documents are signed by both parties, a small buffet follows, where the newlyweds receive congratulations from the guests present there.
On leaving the institution
a young couple, according to another tradition, is showered with wheat, coins, rice and rose petals - this ritual means a wish for wealth and prosperity for the newlyweds.
Then follows the most important custom for Orthodox Christians - the wedding of the newlyweds in the church. To do this, you should talk to the priest in advance and also receive his blessing. In our country there are a lot of churches and temples that perform this sacrament (for example, in Moscow alone there are more than 1000 of them). It is worth noting that before the wedding, the bride and groom must confess. The wedding ceremony itself lasts about an hour. After the sacrament is performed, as a rule, the newlyweds go on a wedding walk to picturesque places and attractions. A photo shoot is taking place at the same time.
According to the old custom, everyone must visit the house of the young husband, where the newlyweds and guests are met by the guy’s parents with a loaf of bread. The newlyweds must take turns tasting its taste and taking a bite. It is believed that the head of the family will be the one whose piece is larger.
At modern weddings, the arrival at the groom's house is, as a rule, abolished, and a meeting of the newlyweds with bread and salt is held before the start of the wedding banquet.
The banquet itself, as a rule, lasts until late, or even until the morning. The restaurant is ready to welcome the newlyweds and their guests, the tables are laid, the hall is beautifully decorated. The host (toastmaster) conducts the wedding evening. It is he who is responsible for ensuring that all events are carried out according to the prepared script, so that the guests do not get bored and are satisfied. All those present are invited to say congratulations to the newlyweds, present gifts, and say parting words to their new life. Toasts and congratulations can be said in poetry, prose, in your own words, or according to a previously prepared text, however, they all end with the words “Bitter!” This custom came to us from old times, when the wishes of “Bitter” meant a sweet and prosperous family life.
When is it possible and when not to enter into a marital relationship?
“Nothing preserves the mutual desire of a husband and wife for each other more than the need to abstain from marital intimacy from time to time. And nothing kills or turns it into lovemaking (it is no coincidence that this word arose by analogy with playing sports) like the absence of restrictions.”
Archpriest Maxim Kozlov “On marital relations.”
The Church Charter has requirements according to which it is necessary to abstain from marital intimacy on the eve of Sunday (that is, Saturday evening), on the eve of the Twelfth Feast and Lenten Wednesday and Friday (that is, Tuesday evening and Thursday evening), as well as during multi-day fasting and preparation to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ . But this is the ideal norm. And first of all, the church fathers recommend being guided by the words of the Apostle Paul:
“Do not deviate from each other, except by consent, for a time, to practice fasting and prayer, and then be together again” (Cor. 7: 5-6).
Thus, the church recommends that spouses abstain from each other only by mutual consent. And it happens that a believing wife decides to strictly observe all fasts (food and bodily), regardless of the opinion of her non-fasting husband. Like, I’m on duty, and let him endure it, there’s no point in pampering him! This behavior can lead to rifts and divisions in the family. Fundamental intransigence or an ultimatum are not permissible here.
This is what St. John Chrysostom says:
“She who abstains against the will of her husband will not only lose the reward for abstinence, but will also give an answer for his adultery, and an answer more severe than himself. Why? Because she, depriving him of legal intercourse, casts him into the abyss of debauchery... The wife has no power over her body, but is both a slave and at the same time the mistress of her husband. If you deviate from proper service, you offend God.” (Conversation 19)
According to the Christian understanding of marriage, husband and wife should be very sensitive to each other's intimate needs. Sometimes it can be difficult, but when there is love, then any requests from the betrothed are only a joy!
If you abstain, it must be by mutual consent of the spouses. Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk also insists on this:
“When separation occurs for the sake of abstinence, it must be with the consent of both persons, and for as long as they test themselves whether they can bear this burden. When they can, it’s good: let them remain. When they cannot, let the packs come together as one; Not everyone is given everything.”
Husband and wife are responsible for each other. You can't turn away and ignore your spouse's wishes. It turns out that sexual intimacy is a duty, an obligation of a husband to his wife (and vice versa). And then the half-joking expression “marital duty” begins to be perceived in a new way. After the wedding, the two halves unite and become one. Independence and freedom are lost and responsibility for the happiness and suffering of another person appears:
“The wife has no power over her body, but the husband does; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Cor. 7:4).
Orthodox Christians do not need to be afraid of online dating, but they should approach it with caution
Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko, rector of the Church of the All-Merciful Savior in the former Sorrow Monastery, head of the Orthodoxy and Peace portal, believes that dating via the Internet is acceptable for Orthodox Christians:
“In my opinion, dating via the Internet is acceptable and can lead to a very serious relationship that can end in marriage. I know of several happy families created with the help of the Internet.”
Orthodox Christians can use the Internet for dating.
Priest Alexy Darashevich believes that the acquaintance of two people is always wonderful. Everything in the world tends to get closer. The opportunity to communicate with anyone is wonderful. However, the priest urges people not to be fascinated by the image of their interlocutor.
On the Internet, as Priest Alexy assures, one must be especially careful. Everyone can present themselves much better than they really are. This is always worth remembering. More details in the video:
Today, enthusiasts are creating more and more sites, groups and networks where Orthodox men and women can meet and get to know each other. Don't neglect this opportunity.
Orthodox Social Network - Orthodox social dating network.
The ABC of Loyalty - Our Orthodox dating service is also open to those who cannot yet call themselves an Orthodox Christian. We set ourselves the task of creating a dating service without fornication, prostitution and perversion, as pure as possible from the temptations of this world; for those who strive for godliness and true love.
Orthodox pen pal club - Many Orthodox Christians, especially young people, find it difficult to find understanding in the modern world, and would like to find sincere friendly communication with fellow believers.
This is often very lacking... There are many Orthodox sites on the Internet that have advertisements for those wishing to get married, but there are practically no such sites where you can find FRIENDS. We decided to fix this.
This idea was given to us by a girl named Alexandra from St. Petersburg. She has already left her profile and you can thank her personally.
And be sure to pray for her. But what? Orthodox! Tell us about yourself, leave your email and perhaps you will soon find a pen pal. Orthodox dating.
