Semantic load
In any church sacrament there are two sides - external and internal. As a rule, our attention is attracted by the external, and the internal is the last thing we think about. But it is precisely the meaning of all church sacraments that you need to know first of all.
Where to start and how to fully prepare for the wedding so as not to lose sight of anything? First of all, you need to agree on the ceremony in advance. To do this, choose a temple and drive up to the priest. Large cathedrals have special departments for registering and ordering requirements. You can go directly to the priest, or you can contact the employees, and they will tell you everything. If young people want to hear singers, and even a whole choir, then this must be agreed upon in advance. This point needs to be clarified right away: do the young people need to contact the choir director separately or will the priest organize everything himself. Perhaps all this needs to be ordered from the registration department.
When they ask a priest how to prepare for a wedding, he will first of all advise starting with confession. Yes, yes - precisely from confession. Often young people first come to the priest and talk with him. It's very good actually. After all, it’s not difficult to get married; it’s difficult to move on with your life. Therefore, the priest’s task is to understand how young people take a conscious step, how responsibly they approach marriage, and understand their roles in this important union. First of all, this is a church sacrament, which means everything is done before God.
Who is allowed?
For many years, it was difficult even for a person visiting a temple to buy spiritual books, so prayer books were passed down from generation to generation, carefully stored, and individual prayers were even copied by hand.
Today there is no such problem, and the missal can be bought in a church store or even found online. But it is worth remembering that reading prayers by unprepared people is considered a sin. In addition, if you are having a home wedding, then reading spiritual texts on your own is completely prohibited.
Important! Before the wedding, you need to visit your confessor, confess, and cleanse your soul of everything worldly, petty, superficial.
Work for the Glory of God
The main purpose of man is to unite his soul with the Heavenly Father, overcome sin within himself and live according to the commandments. Young people do not start a family for fun. This is work, constant sacrifice for the sake of another. If God blesses, then there will be children, and this is even more work and self-sacrifice. Do all newlyweds understand this well? Therefore, to the question: “How to prepare for a wedding?”, the priest will say: “First of all, internally... Bare your soul before God and test it: am I ready to live for the sake of another, am I ready to go with my other half to the end and beyond life? to appear together before the Heavenly Father and to what extent this desire is not dictated by emotions, which, when they subside, will no longer brighten up the difficulties and will have to accept everything as it is...”
Why do you need to go to the priest?
In the conversation, the priest talks about the understanding of marriage in the church sense, about the rites and the blessing of the union of the young. If a young couple has serious intentions towards each other, they will listen to the priest and try to take his advice on how to prepare for the wedding correctly and according to church law, and not just for the sake of a beautiful ceremony. Then, during the wedding, the newlyweds will understand the meaning of what is happening.
Often the priest recommends reading certain chapters from the Holy Scriptures, something from the Patristic writings, or will tell himself about the important aspects of this sacrament. All this was said for those who are interested in how to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church, although Catholics also have a lot in common in conducting the wedding ceremony.
The wedding day is discussed with the priest, but it cannot be a time of fasting and in the days before fasting. In general, according to tradition, in the Orthodox Church marital intimacy does not occur during fasting days. Of course, everything must be done consciously and only by mutual agreement. If one of the spouses is against it, then it is possible to give in to the second, so as not to lead him into sin on the side. If the couple is churchgoer, then they understand everything. If a husband and wife do not know or understand anything about church traditions, then it is better for them to either inquire or talk to a priest. Since not everyone is ready to live completely according to the rules of the church, everything needs to be realized and accepted wisely.
Time for a wedding
The Sacrament of Marriage is not performed on the eve of Wednesday and Friday, all fast days, throughout the year, as well as Sundays, twelve days, temple and great holidays, during Christmastide, Cheese and Easter weeks. Regarding popular superstitions that you cannot get married in May, on a leap year, or on some dates - all this is nonsense. I personally got married in May and live a very happy marriage.
Regarding the sign of meeting a dead person, a funeral cortege, this is simply an unpleasant moment, but it has no consequences for the fate of the young people. To ensure that nothing overshadows your joy, you need to discuss this point with the priest. A prudent priest will not allow a funeral service and wedding to take place close in time in the church.
There is also no need to wait for snow, rain, or vice versa, avoid them. I have never met a newlywed who, if caught in the rain, turned around and left the church, fearing impending misfortunes. If people are so susceptible to belief in mysticism that they are afraid of some numbers, leap years or rain, I think it’s too early for them to get married, first they need to strengthen themselves in the Orthodox faith.
An important sacrament
Enough literature has been written about how to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church, which you can easily purchase at church or borrow from the church library.
Previously, the wedding rite itself included the communion of future spouses. This suggests that the wedding took place during the Divine Liturgy. Marriage is a great Sacrament, thanks to which husband and wife become, as it were, one body; they are united together in Jesus Christ for salvation and entry into eternal life. Today, communion is no longer included in the sacrament of marriage, but the meaning itself has not lost its meaning. All the same young people become one in Christ. Therefore, before the wedding, future spouses need to go to the Divine Liturgy and receive communion. Before communion, of course, a person fasts and confesses.
Not only newlyweds go to get married, often married couples who have been married for a long time resort to this sacrament. It is worth saying that preparing for a wedding for married people is no different from preparing for those who are just planning to follow this path. Is it possible that in conversations with a priest the conversation may go in a slightly different direction, because these people are already husband and wife before God, although they live without blessing. Such couples may be more conscious and responsible about the sacrament.
Useful video
When preparing for a wedding ceremony, much attention is paid to the necessary attributes: rings, candles, icons. But we should not forget that the basis of the ritual is prayers, and the procedure for carrying out the sacrament is subject to special rules. The video will tell you how to prepare, what prayers to read, what meaning the church puts into the wedding and how it goes:
What else is needed
Let's turn to the external side, which is also important for people going to a wedding. The rules of preparation speak, first of all, about the internal, but they do not lose sight of the external either. That is why the ritual is so beautiful and touching.
Of course, you need rings for a wedding. They are bought in advance and given to the priest before the start. It happens that rings are sold right in the temple.
Today everyone buys gold rings. It is interesting that according to church tradition, the husband wears a silver ring and the wife a gold ring. And even earlier manuscripts generally speak of an iron ring for the husband.
There are crowns above the heads of the bride and groom. They are held above the heads of the young people by friends of the bride and groom. The crowns symbolize the royal path of Orthodoxy and at the same time the martyrdom of the spouses. It’s not like crossing a field, or even swimming across a river. The article said above that the husband and wife, in a certain sense, sacrifice their interests for the sake of the other half, and together they live for the sake of children, if God blesses the marriage with them.
What to read on your wedding day?
During the long ceremony, which usually lasts an hour, the priest manages to read to the young people both the necessary excerpts from the Bible and three prayers. All these words are at once a blessing and instruction for the newlyweds, and therefore they should be listened to carefully, with boundless awe and respect.
About the Blessing of the Young
Important! The deep meaning of the prayer words is fidelity to each other, love and continuation of the family in children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren.
The first prayer tells about the most famous biblical marriages , starting with Adam and Eve, asking for a peaceful, long and calm life for the newlyweds.
It is also said that childbearing in marriage is pleasing to God. If unsanctified knowledge of a woman by a man is a sin in Orthodoxy, then the marriage bed leaves the spouses chaste.
Priest
The second prayer glorifies the mystery and purity of marriage , commands the husband to be the head of the family, and the wife to be his obedient, faithful support.
Not only the couple themselves are mentioned, but also their relatives and friends celebrating this bright day with them, especially their parents.
A parallel is drawn between marriage and martyrdom , but not in the sense of a decrease in joy, but in the fact that both of these paths lead to God.
Blessing and confirmation of engagement
The third prayer combines what was said in the previous two, sealing the union with an eternal seal , because three is a sacred number in Christianity.
After it, crowns are placed on the newlyweds, or the witnesses hold them over their heads. The laying of crowns is the culmination of the sacrament, the alchemical combination of two people and their transformation into a single family.
Family
You should not neglect the opportunity to find out how to prepare for a wedding ceremony in the Church correctly and why you need to come to a conversation with a priest.
It happens that children are not born for some reason. This does not mean that God has turned away from spouses. We cannot understand and accept everything, but regardless of us, everything has its own meaning. You shouldn’t despair, and you definitely shouldn’t leave each other if you have mutual feelings. There are enough couples in the world who were not destined to have children, but they were able to give their love and care to other children left without a family. It is even possible that they did not raise other children, but did something important and significant in this life. Even if they simply loved and helped each other live and not be discouraged, that’s also good. In general, there is always meaning in living and giving love.
Icons
Wondering how to prepare for the sacrament of wedding, young people begin to understand a lot. And, if the meaning of everything that happens during the performance of this church ceremony touches the heart to the very depths, without causing resistance, then, most likely, the young people are on the right path.
What remains with the spouses after the ceremony are the wedding icons. Parents can give them as a gift, or you can purchase images in the temple. Often mothers themselves embroider icons as a sign of blessing their children. As a rule, this is the image of the Savior and the Mother of God. Before the wedding, they are also given to the priest along with the rings. The newlyweds will also have wedding candles. They can be purchased immediately before the ceremony or purchased in advance to decorate them at your discretion.
Canvas under your feet
We also need fabric for the wedding. Our parents and grandparents know well how to properly prepare for this ritual. In the past, wedding fabric was embroidered by mothers for their children. Young people are attracted to it. The color of the canvas is white. Today, few people embroider it themselves; they mostly buy it. By the way, the tradition of laying a towel under the feet of the bride and groom was preserved in atheistic times. They laid it in the registry office, and they still do it to this day. The canvas can be bought in a special store, at the market or directly in a church shop.
Even after learning everything about how to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church, there is still excitement that is completely difficult to cope with.
Tip two: fasting
Three days before confession and communion, it is recommended to fast and abstain from sex, so that the body can be as cleansed as possible before the soul becomes purer. Communion must be taken on an empty stomach.
The priest will tell you everything
Don't be afraid if you miss something or do something wrong. The priest will tell the bride and groom how to do everything correctly and in what order.
Important!
There is another important point that was not mentioned above. This seems to go without saying. Those wishing to receive the sacrament of wedding in the Orthodox Church must be baptized in Orthodoxy. And it is also advisable to be believers, which plays an important role in the salvation of a person’s soul. And the family is a small church. Where the husband is likened to Christ, and the wife is like the church. Children are their children. All together they sail to God in their ark. Only now this understanding has been lost among people. A husband must carefully protect his wife, take care of her as his faithful friend and the mother of his children. Do everything so that they don’t go hungry, don’t need, can learn and improve, enjoy life and thank God for it. And the wife is the keeper. A faithful companion and creator of the hearth. Is this true in the modern world?
The importance of confession and communion
The sacrament of Communion was commanded by Jesus Christ. People who eat bread and wine, symbolizing the Body and Blood of Christ, are united with the Lord himself. Therefore, any Orthodox Christian cannot imagine a normal spiritual life without communion (Eucharist).
Thanks to Communion, the soul is cleansed of filth, returning to its original purity, and strength appears to resist temptations. But before communion you must make a confession. Confession is a sacrament of repentance, during which a person recognizes himself as a sinner.
Saint Theophan the Recluse said that repentance consists of several stages:
- awareness of sins;
- recognition of the presence of sinful thoughts, committed offenses;
- refusal to commit unjust actions;
- turning to the Creator with a prayer for forgiveness.
Sincere repentance enables a person to comprehend the mystery of salvation. Through the sacrament of confession, a person approaches the knowledge of the Lord and the Kingdom of Heaven.
About the rings
So, now the newlyweds know how to prepare for a wedding in church, that the spiritual component is important first of all, and then the external one.
The bride and groom put rings on each other - a sign of an eternal and indissoluble union. The gold ring on the wife’s finger symbolizes the brilliance of the Sun, and the silver one symbolizes the light of the Moon, reflecting the daylight. The husband is likened to the Light in the marriage, and the wife is like a smaller source who receives his light.
Rings are an outward expression of the inner readiness of two hearts to love each other before and after death. After all, according to the Christian worldview, life does not stop. We are eternal. And death is only a temporary state. Therefore, second marriage is not accepted among Christians. Even if someone became a widower. After all, what to do next before God? So, they say I have two, three wives or husbands? In Christianity, marriage is swan fidelity. And who doesn’t understand this, think about it: is it worth getting married?
Depth of feelings
This is what it is like – a wedding in a church. Preparation for it carries not so much an external meaning, expressed in the efforts of arranging the ritual environment, but an internal, spiritual one. Love and infatuation are far from the same thing. Love is deep, not superficial and capable of strong actions. Love thunders loudly, ignites quickly, is hot to the point of burning, but cools down as soon as it encounters a small obstacle to its combustion.
Much more can be said on this topic, but hardly anyone will say better about love than the Apostle Paul said... Read these words, find them, they are impressive and convicting at the same time. The beginning is: “Love is patient and kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, it is not proud...”
conclusions
Let's summarize: the main preparation for the sacrament of uniting two loving hearts in God is fasting. The Holy Orthodox Church says that newlyweds are recommended to prepare themselves for the wedding through the feat of fasting, repentance, prayer and communion.
The day and time are discussed in the temple with the priest. For the ritual side of the sacrament you must have:
- Icons of Christ the Savior and the Virgin Mary;
- wedding rings (at the choice of the future spouses, without any symbolic expression, but also taking into account traditions);
- wedding candles;
- canvas.
How to order a wedding in a temple?
To order a wedding in a church, you need to approach the priest in advance and discuss the day on which you would like to get married. The fact is that you can’t get married on any day of the church year - there are certain days when people don’t get married in churches. These are fast days; Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday during the week.
The priest will also tell you about some traditions of the particular temple where you came. Don’t delay, call the temple in advance and find out when you can come for a personal conversation with the priest.
Guarantors
What should wedding witnesses know? In the old days, when there was still pre-revolutionary Russia, a marriage concluded in the Church was legal before the State. Therefore, the witnesses, with their signatures in special books, confirmed (testified) that these people became husband and wife not only before God, but also before people and the state. They usually knew the newlyweds well and vouched for them.
The friend and friend, as they were popularly called, took part in the sacrament, and while the bride and groom walked around the lectern, they held crowns over their heads. They must also be baptized in Orthodoxy. These are a kind of guarantors before God. Like godparents to a baby, although it is difficult to vouch for adults. After all, they have their own head and their own thoughts. But you can pray for each other. Ask the Lord for blessings and help. And this is the work of God. This is what Christ commanded: praying for one another is one of the manifestations of love.
Nothing has changed in the ceremony itself. They also still hold their crowns, and at this moment they are probably thinking about their future.
