The meaning of the ritual
In recent years, an increasing number of couples not only sign in the registry office, but also decide to join their destinies in the church. The profound importance of this step should be realized. Important! The clergy are loyal to unmarried families living in marriage.
The main thing is that it was officially registered, and not civilian. When, after a few years, spouses who are confident in each other come to the sacrament, this is perceived positively. So there is no need to rush into getting married. What happens during the sacrament is no less exciting than the preparation for it. To avoid forgetting important details in a hurry, start preparing in advance. It is necessary to think through every little detail: from spiritual moments (confession, fasting, repentance) to material ones - the bride’s dress, compiling a guest list, choosing a date, place, organizing a celebration after the ceremony, purchasing all the necessary attributes (Cahors, candles, towel, rings, icons).
How to prepare and choose a place?
At the first stage, you should choose a temple in which you will seal your destinies into one. It doesn't have to be an ornate church. Some newlyweds, on the contrary, choose small rural parishes, for example, those where they were baptized.
Your own feelings under the shadow of the temple are extremely important. You should feel calm and grace, but if you don’t like or are worried about something, then perhaps you should look for another church. Pay no less attention to the priest who will perform the ceremony. The priest should inspire trust, show favor and understanding, teach and tell you about the important points of the sacrament, and not reproach you for ignorance of the canons.
If you are a church member, then there will be no problem. Get married with your priest, to whom you go to confess. This is the best solution. If your acquaintance with Orthodoxy began not so long ago, then be prepared for a short interview. The priest must make sure that, firstly, you understand what the sacrament is, and are not chasing a fashionable, beautiful ritual, and secondly, you are ready to bear the bonds of marriage. You can discuss other controversial issues with the priest - about appearance, photography within the walls of the temple, the best date.
People who are getting married not for the first time will have to make additional preparations. Depending on the situation, either ordinary repentance with a blessing for a second marriage, or permission from the bishop will be required.
Orthodox prohibitions in the church
There are some church prohibitions on marriage. Some rules are strictly observed, others have exceptions.
The most complete list of reasons why you may be denied the sacrament is as follows:
- You are blood or spiritual relatives to each other;
- One of the newlyweds is a minor or incompetent;
- This is already the 4th marriage for one of the spouses, and not only married ones are counted, but also secular and civil ones;
- The previous marriage has not yet been dissolved or this one has not been registered - you must bring a certificate from the registry office to the church;
- Some of the newlyweds belong to another religion, are unbaptized or an atheist. Exceptions can be made privately for Protestants and Catholics, but only if the family promises that they will raise children in the Orthodox tradition;
- Women over 60 and men over 70 are not married - these age limits limit the age of possible childbearing.
Important! The rule of the age limit is often violated, since the church will bless a family that has lived its entire life according to Christian laws, but only in their declining years has come to the decision to unite in unbreakable spiritual bonds at any age.
Prohibitions and rules
Not everyone can enter into a religious marriage; there are some rules and restrictions;
- The bride and groom must be adults.
- Spouses must not be blood relatives.
- Only believing baptized Christians can undergo the ceremony.
- Representatives of other religions are not allowed, even if it is only one of the spouses.
- The ritual will be denied if the young couple has three or more marriages behind them.
- The ritual cannot be performed by people with mental illness.
- The ceremony is not held during fasting periods, or on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
- In Orthodoxy, it is allowed to repeat this procedure three times in a lifetime if the previous married spouse died or the divorce was due to religious orders.
- You cannot undergo the ceremony if you are in a relationship on the side.
How to choose a date?
When choosing a date, you should use the church calendar or consult with the priest. In any case, it is not possible to schedule an ordinance for Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday. Great Lent, Easter and Maslenitsa weeks, the twelfth, patronal and great church holidays fall out completely. In addition, weddings never take place at night.
Women should remember one more detail - during menstruation it is strictly forbidden to be under the arches of the temple, so when choosing the date of the sacrament, check your own calendar.
If we take into account folk signs, then May is excluded - “you will suffer all your life,” and the most favorable period is summer, especially August.
Wedding dress
The bride's dress can be any color.
Of course, a neckline is inappropriate in a temple. The bride's arms, shoulders, back and chest should be covered. The headdress can be either a veil that covers the face or an ordinary scarf, light and elegant. When choosing a veil, you should pay attention to whether it will be convenient to put a crown on top of it, and whether any decorations will interfere. It is better to refuse a veil that is too long or fluffy - there is a high probability of burning it with burning candles. The bride should not wear bright makeup on her face; she should also avoid pretentious, unnatural manicure colors and strong-smelling perfumes. Pectoral crosses are required for both spouses.
What to do before the sacrament?
The sacraments of fasting, confession and communion are carried out.
Fast
Before the wedding, you need to spiritually cleanse yourself and tune in to the sacredness of the moment. To do this, newlyweds should fast for three days - not eat animal food (dairy products, meat, fish, eggs). It is worth giving up alcohol and, if possible, smoking.
If you have medical contraindications to such a diet or you engage in heavy physical labor, then consult your priest. Perhaps he will make some concessions. The point of fasting is not so much in food restrictions, but in shifting the focus from the carnal to the spiritual.
Important! Three days before the wedding, avoid intimate relationships and noisy entertainment events. It is better to devote this time to each other in a spiritual way, for example, by reading prayers together.
Confession
Both newlyweds must confess on the eve of the sacrament. You should not be afraid of this moment, the priest is not a strict accuser, but a mediator between you and God, helping to cleanse your soul and reconcile with yourself.
During confession, it is important to tell without concealment about everything that worries and oppresses, about not the most beautiful actions, words and even thoughts. Don't be afraid that your words will go further - this is completely out of the question. After a conversation with the priest, it will certainly become easier, and you will enter your new married life renewed and happy.
Participle
You will receive Communion on your wedding day, during the morning liturgy. It represents a spoonful of red wine and bread, which each parishioner eats from the hands of the priest.
If you have not confessed, then you have no right to receive communion. It is believed that the ceremony allows you to feel grace, and before the wedding this is quite important. Before communion, you should not eat, drink, or smoke from midnight.
Relaxations are possible, for example, for people with poor health. Those who are afraid of fainting from hunger are allowed to have a snack, but in any case the food should not be of animal origin, fatty or luxurious. It is best if it is yogurt or sweet tea.
What you need to buy
Wedding candles
Which ones are better to choose?
Candles are sold in the church shop: you can buy them there on the day of the celebration or in advance.
Candles of a certain design can be found in online stores: from the most ordinary wax candles to products of various colors, shapes and sizes, decorated with small bouquets, patterned modeling, ribbons, rings, hand or factory painting, glitter (sparkles), decals (images with a paper base ), in a package or with candlesticks, etc. Their choice is a matter of taste, the main thing is that they are wedding candles.
What are they for?
Wedding candles are obligatory “participants” of the wedding ceremony. This is a sign of the joy that lovers experience from meeting each other. The candles burning in the hands of the newlyweds embody the chastity of the newlyweds, the fiery and pure mutual love that they must nourish from now on, as well as the abiding grace of God.
After the sacrament, the candles remain with the newlyweds
. They should be kept at home near icons or in another secluded pious place and the symbol of marriage should be lit in connection with some important and joyful events, on marriage anniversaries or, conversely, if difficult times come. There is a belief that wedding candles can ease difficult childbirth.
How much are
On average, a set of candles costs from 300 to 1000 rubles.
Handkerchiefs for candles
Which ones are better to choose?
First of all, they should be white or light colors. These can be handkerchiefs or fabric napkins, with lace, embroidery or simpler ones. You can often buy specially made pot holders in church shops.
What are they for?
The tradition of covering the hands with a scarf has been around for centuries. But this is done more for practical reasons - so that they do not get dirty and burnt with wax.
How much are
The cost of special potholders is approximately 800–1000 rubles. Regular handkerchiefs or cloth napkins are much cheaper.
What icons are needed for a wedding?
Which ones are better to choose?
These should be the faces of the Savior and the Mother of God - separately or in the form of a folding icon, that is, a folding icon made of two parts. The choice of such icons, it turns out, is also varied. They differ in size (from 7×12 and larger), shape (arched or rectangular), design (in a plastic, wooden or other frame; brass, metallized, gold-plated, etc.; with embossing, silk-screen printing, enamel, velvet; in a case and without it, etc.).
What are they for?
With their help, the priest blesses the bride and groom. In former times, images were brought from the parental home and this is how the home shrine was passed on from generation to generation
.
Nowadays, icons of the Savior and the Mother of God are purchased in advance by the parents of the newlyweds in the church shop and given to the priest before the start of the ceremony. If the parents do not participate in the marriage, the young people do it themselves.
How much are
The price range is quite wide. The cost depends on the size and materials and ranges from 50 to 20,000 rubles.
Wedding towel – “foot”
Which one is better to choose?
The towel on which the newlyweds will ascend at the altar should be white or pink.
In the past, the bride and groom could only kneel, but nowadays they usually stand on a towel with their feet, because there is a belief that you don’t need to choose a towel with the image of rings or a pair of birds as a wedding towel: it’s better to opt for a geometric pattern or floral ornament around the edges. And the center of the canvas - the symbolic place of God - must be “clean”.
A towel with hemstitch or lace is not suitable for marriage: they deprive family life of integrity. The canvas should not be interrupted, just as the life together of the spouses should not be interrupted.
What is it needed for
This attribute of the wedding ceremony is a symbol of unity and purity of married life. It is spread out near the lectern and serves as a footstool for the bride and groom; on it, the young, as if on a cloud, ascend to the Kingdom of Heaven to bless their marriage.
After the ceremony, the towel most often remains with the newlyweds: it is kept in the family as a memory and decorates the house on anniversaries and anniversaries.
What is the price
A wedding towel with embroidery costs on average from 500 to 2000 rubles, a simple towel costs less.
What rings are needed for a wedding?
Which ones are better to choose?
Traditionally, the bride and groom's rings should be made of different precious metals: his - gold, hers - silver (then the young couple will exchange them during the sacrament). This difference is symbolic.
Nowadays, this rule is not always observed, and wedding rings can even have precious stones. Therefore, the choice of jewelry completely depends on the taste and financial capabilities of the groom: according to tradition, it is he who should buy the rings - preferably on the same day and in the same place.
What are they for?
Rings are the central attribute of engagement. Before the ceremony begins, they lie on the holy throne on the right - in front of the face of Jesus Christ. Thus, by touching the holy throne, they receive the power of sanctification and the ability to bring God’s blessing to the newlyweds. And the fact that the rings lie next to each other means mutual love and spiritual unity of the bride and groom.
This is a multi-valued symbol
. Firstly, a sign of the indissolubility, limitlessness and eternity of the marriage union. Secondly, the embodiment of the sun, to which the husband is likened; silver represents the moon - a smaller luminary that emits light reflected from the sun.
The actions performed with the rings during the sacrament also have important sacred meaning. Thus, the exchange of jewelry speaks of love and willingness to sacrifice everything and help throughout life - on the part of the groom, and of love and devotion, readiness to accept this help throughout life - on the part of the bride.
How much are
The price of wedding rings will depend on the metal from which they are made (you should not choose a combination of metals, as this is considered a bad omen) and the presence or absence of precious stones.
Wedding set
Which one is better to choose?
The range of wedding sets today is also very wide. They differ in the number of items, style and cost. The set usually includes a towel, towels, napkins for wedding rings, and potholders for candles.
What is it needed for
Buying a wedding set will save the bride and groom from having to purchase all textile wedding accessories separately, selecting them by color and design, and will save them precious time
.
What is the price
On average, a set of 4 items costs 1000–2000 rubles, and of 7 – 3000–5000 rubles.
Red wine
Which one is better to choose?
“Cahors” or “Sherry” are bought as a drink for the “cup of fellowship” ritual.
.
What is it for?
The red wine offered by the priest to the young is a symbol of their true love: the fresh water of their true feelings should turn into a strong drink from year to year.
What is the price
A bottle of good Cahors or Spanish sherry can cost from 700 to 7000 rubles.
What else should you take to church?
In addition to everything listed above, newlyweds should take with them the following documents and items:
- Passports
. - Marriage certificate
(except for those rare cases when the wedding - in agreement with the priest - precedes registration with the registry office). - Pectoral crosses
(they should hang on the neck).
Preparing a set of attributes - list
At the sacrament itself you will need the following things:
- wedding rings;
- towel - a large white or pink towel, symbolizing the path of life, it should be large enough for both of you to stand on it;
- candles;
- handkerchiefs for holding candles;
- a bottle of church cahors;
- icons of the Mother of God and the Savior.
You can buy them either as a special set or select them separately, exactly the ones you like.
Icons and crosses
The best option is to receive images as a gift from your parents , but if this is not possible, then you can buy new ones. The icon of the Savior is intended for the groom, and the Mother of God for the bride. The priest will bless the young people with the images, and after the ceremony the icons will protect the family, being in a place of honor in the house.
A pectoral cross is a mandatory attribute for any Orthodox Christian, which must be worn without taking it off. Naturally, it is also important for everyone present to have it for the most important sacrament: both newlyweds and guests.
Important! Unbaptized people are not allowed to attend weddings.
Rings
Traditionally, the rings of the bride and groom differ in material. The groom brings gold, a symbol of Christ, the sun, the masculine principle. The bride is silver, a sign of the moon, the church and the feminine principle.
Since you will exchange jewelry three times during the ceremony, the bride will wear her husband’s ring as a sign of his protection and responsibility, and the groom will wear his wife’s ring as a sign of her selfless fidelity and submission.
This rule is not mandatory, so if you wish, you can choose the same rings - white or yellow gold, silver, platinum. But costume jewelry is completely unsuitable . A strict priest may refuse to place such decorations on the altar for consecration.
Rings for weddings, unlike engagement rings, are better to choose simple ones, without pretentious unusual decor, large bright stones, or unexpected elements. Wedding rings are never taken off, so a simple, elegant design will also save you from the hassle of choosing a wardrobe to match this accessory.
Both smooth and engraved decorations are possible. These could be prayers, your names, wedding date, the word “love”, a common surname. Wedding rings are also acceptable.
Candles and wine
It is best to buy candles in a church shop, where they are usually of the best quality. However, decorative wedding wax candles, previously blessed by the priest, are also suitable.
Don't forget to buy handkerchiefs - pure white, simple or decorated with embroidery and lace. You will need these to wrap the base of the candle, otherwise the wax will drip onto your hands.
Cahors is a traditional wine option, but any fortified red will do. During the ceremony, the newlyweds will drink wine from the same cup - a symbol of constant communication and the joy of married life.
Crowns
Decorated crowns, which are held above the heads of the newlyweds, and sometimes put on, symbolize the fact that at this moment the newlyweds are the kings of their own lives, having reached the bright and important moment of creating a consecrated family.
In addition, this is also a sign of the Kingdom of Heaven, because on the mysterial level the groom represents Christ, and the bride represents the church united in marriage with him. At the same time, the crown is also a sign of martyrdom, that marriage is not only happiness, but also difficulties that must be overcome with dignity.
Crowns are usually given out at the temple itself, so unless you are told otherwise, you should not buy them.
How to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church?
The rules of weddings in the Orthodox Church are not limited to the acquisition of two icons and towels. The Svadebka.ws portal team recommends that you familiarize yourself with all the nuances. The most important answer to the question of what is needed for a wedding in a church is the moral and spiritual preparation of the newlyweds. First, the bride and groom must come to confession. To marry before God you need to be pure, which means you need to confess from all your sins. Secondly, young people must take communion. It is necessary to prepare for these sacraments in advance. And thirdly, observing fasting. And this is not just a refusal of animal food - you must prepare yourself mentally for the upcoming event. Think about your behavior, your image, because... in the church everything should be perfect and without fuss.
It is also necessary to prepare two icons: the Mother of God and the Savior. According to ancient custom, they were taken from the home of the young parents. If they do not participate in the ceremony, the newlyweds themselves bring the icons. You also need to purchase rings and light them. Previously, one ring was gold and symbolized the sun, the second was silver and symbolized the moon, which glows with the reflection of the sun. Now both rings can be gold, and they can also be decorated with stones or engravings. But that's not all that's needed for a wedding.
You definitely need to prepare a wedding towel. The bride and groom will stand on it during the procession. After all, as they said in those distant times: “To step on a towel is to be together.” By the way, in those distant times there were no wedding palaces, and couples sealed their bonds only before God. But these days, a wedding without registering a marriage at the registry office is not possible. Read why on the website svadebka.ws.
Don't forget to purchase two candles, as well as handkerchiefs to hold them. There is an old custom: the stubs of these candles are saved and lit in the house when children are sick.
Dress code rules
The bride's dress does not have to be white, but in any case the color should be light. Bright and dark shades are excluded. You should not wear too revealing, tight, luxurious outfits - they will be completely inappropriate. An excellent choice is a closed, modest dress that hides the knees, décolleté and shoulders. If the sleeve of the dress is too short, then take care of gloves, which will have to be removed before exchanging rings. Another option is a lace jacket or bolero.
Important! The bride should not overuse jewelry and makeup. Under no circumstances should your lips be painted, because you will be kissing the image. You cannot wear rings or rings, because the only decoration should be the wedding ring.
Do not forget that all women must cover their heads in the temple. The bride can cover her hair with a veil, cape, or scarf. If the choice falls on a veil, then it must cover the hair. The best option is one with an accessory attached to the top of the head and an open face. Women present at the festival also need to cover their heads with a scarf. It’s better to be elegant and bright, because the holiday is joyful.
As for the groom and male guests, it is best for them to choose strict, simple outfits, without bright flashy details. A regular black or navy suit will do just fine. Remember that men cannot wear hats in the temple.
Prohibitions related to weddings
- People who are related up to the fourth degree cannot get married.
- The sacrament can be performed no more than three times. The fourth time the church will be forced to refuse you.
- It is unacceptable to perform the sacrament if the man or woman is married to another person. All ties must be dissolved in advance and a joint official marriage must be formalized.
- Witnesses must be chosen who have been baptized, and they must not be divorced.
- Wedding ceremonies are not performed for persons under 18 years of age.
- If one or both spouses are over 80 years old or they simply have a big age difference, they will need to obtain special permission from the bishop to get married.
- A church union between people who are civilly related is prohibited: for example, a father and an adopted daughter.
- If a girl is pregnant at the time of the sacrament, then the priest must be warned about this in advance (during communion).
Price
Almost everyone is interested in the question, how much does a wedding cost? According to church laws, there is no price list. Weddings, like other sacraments, are not bought or sold. But after the ceremony, according to tradition, parishioners have the opportunity to leave a voluntary donation to the temple, and its amount is not regulated.
In the most famous cathedrals - in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow or in the Kazan Cathedral in St. Petersburg, they usually leave from 10,000 rubles. In lesser-known churches, the unregulated price ranges from 500 to 5000 rubles.
If you have financial problems, this is not a hindrance. You can always warn the priest, and most likely they will meet you halfway.
Additional information about the wedding
There are some things that worry many couples before getting married. Let's review them further:
- The bride cannot wear a suit, she must wear only a dress. And if the outfit exposes the shoulders or back, then you need to cover them with a cape.
- It is advisable for a girl to buy low-heeled shoes, because she will have to stand in the temple for several hours, during which time her legs can become very tired.
- It is important to emphasize maximum modesty in hair and makeup for the newlywed. There is no point in creating a bulky hairstyle, because it will still hide behind the crown.
- The situation with the groom is simpler; he just cannot show piercings and tattoos, if he has any, for everyone to see. If a man wears long hair, then it should be collected.
- All guests for the ceremony must stock up on crosses; women cover their heads with scarves.
- During the wedding ceremony, everyone should turn off their mobile phone.
- Today it is very popular to order professional photography and video shooting services, both for weddings and weddings. Please note that in order to invite a photographer or videographer to the temple, you will need to obtain permission in advance and pay a set amount for it.
And most importantly, do not forget about the sacred meaning of the wedding ceremony. After all, it does not lie in external attributes, but in the sincere desire of partners to unite themselves in church marriage, to strengthen their love with God’s blessing.
What documents are needed?
For the wedding itself, you will only need stamped passports and a marriage certificate from the registry office. Those remarrying will additionally need permission from the bishop and a divorce certificate.
Things are more complicated if you decide to get married not in Russia, but in another Orthodox country. Then, in addition to everything else, you will need:
- certificate of baptism in the Orthodox faith;
- a certificate from your parish, with which the priest will confirm that you can get married;
- birth certificate;
- international passport.
All documents must be translated into English and notarized.
Selection of witnesses
Unlike a civil celebration, for a wedding it is better to choose two men as witnesses, strong and slightly taller than you , because they will have to hold heavy crowns over the heads of the newlyweds for a long time on their outstretched arms.
You can choose relatives or close friends, but it is important that they are baptized Orthodox Christians, because atheists and representatives of other faiths are not allowed to attend the wedding.
Under no circumstances should witnesses be divorced or living in a common-law marriage. It is better to choose people who command your respect and live according to Orthodox laws, because they will become practically second parents, spiritual mentors for the young.
It is also possible for a married couple to act as witnesses, but these should not be the parents of the bride or groom.
Important! An unmarried couple participating in the sacrament as witnesses will never be able to get married, since the man and woman will be considered spiritual relatives.
