Instructions: how to make a wedding guest list

Financial issue

Also important is the question of who exactly pays for the wedding, will your parents help you with this? If your parents are paying a significant portion of the wedding expenses, then their wishes should definitely be taken into account when compiling the guest list. Not inviting people who are important to them (relatives, close friends) will be at least ugly.

On the other hand, you need to define boundaries so that your wedding is still yours. For example, let the parents choose 20% of the invitees, and the remaining 80% - you and the groom.

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Author of the photo: Antonova Ksenia | Wedding of Valentina and Ivan

What to do in “difficult cases”

• When compiling your list, it is important to consider the relationships and connections of your guests. For example, if some of your relatives are strongly at enmity with each other and there is a high risk that their showdown will spoil the entire mood of the celebration, it is better to invite one of the parties, a closer one, to the wedding, or not to invite any of them.
• If the parents of the bride or groom are divorced, then you should be especially careful when inviting them along with new spouses, whose appearance may cause unnecessary attention and a certain tension.
• It is undesirable to invite your “ex” to the wedding celebration, so as not to once again stir up the past and not spoil your soulmate’s mood on this important day.
• If you have relatives who, under the influence of alcohol, can cause scandals or fights, you should also think carefully before including them on the guest list, even if they may be offended by not receiving an invitation from you.

When compiling a list of wedding guests, you must remember that this is, first of all, your holiday, so only you can decide who you will see at it. The main thing is that you can feel cozy and comfortable when surrounded by your guests.

Make a guest list together

After all, this is your common holiday and you both must decide with whom you want to share it. Discuss with each other the format of the upcoming holiday, think about where it will take place, what the general concept of the celebration will be - this will help determine the number of guests.

Do you dream of having an intimate wedding only for close friends, but your groom planned to invite all his work colleagues? Don't be discouraged if your ideas about the number of guests differ greatly; for most couples, finding a compromise on this issue can be quite difficult. But this is not a reason for conflicts; on the contrary, it is a great opportunity to learn to listen and hear each other, to learn to make concessions. This skill will come in handy more than once in your family life.

Guest list for a wedding celebration: what to consider when compiling it?

Typically, pre-wedding preparation begins with determining the budget, the number of guests and finding a place to hold the celebration. Drawing up a list of guests for a wedding is one of the important stages of preparation for the celebration, on which the atmosphere at your holiday largely depends.

How to quickly make a wedding guest list and still remain on good terms with your significant other? Here are a couple of important tips:

1. We determine the boundaries of the budget. The number of guests largely depends on the size of the budget. You should decide what you can afford: a small wedding with few guests, or a lavish party with a large number of relatives, friends and colleagues.
2. “At whose expense is the banquet?” Often, the parents of the newlyweds help pay part of the wedding expenses. Therefore, it is worth taking into account their wishes regarding guests. But remember that this is your day! Culturally indicate your preferences regarding the number of parents invited.
3. We draw up a guest list together, finding compromises! You can create two guest lists from your sides, and then work together to determine the optimal number of invitees. The main thing is to try to find compromises, support each other, and in some cases even make concessions. Don’t forget, the main thing for you is to create a sincere, cozy atmosphere at the wedding, in which both you and your guests will feel comfortable.
5. You shouldn't invite guests out of guilt. You should not invite guests at someone’s insistence, especially if you are not happy about their presence. Yes, people you don't invite might be offended. But, if you don’t like them, do you need such guests at your wedding?
6. Choosing the appropriate wedding format. It is important to understand that the wedding format also implies a certain composition of guests. If you decide to organize a wedding with a classic banquet in a restaurant, then both young people and the older generation will understand this format. Or vice versa, if your celebration is unconventional, for example, you decided to abandon certain customs and spend the holiday in a non-standard setting, then this option is better suited for youth.
7. Learn to tactfully refuse uninvited guests! After learning about your engagement, some people may offer themselves to be a guest at the wedding. You should tactfully refuse such people without offending them. You can refer to your limited budget and large number of relatives.

Start with the most important guests

The first on your list, of course, will be your parents, siblings, grandparents, bridesmaids and groomsmen. These are the people without whom you cannot imagine your holiday.

The following lines are for not the closest friends, neighbors, colleagues and distant relatives. That way, if you have to trim down the list, you can simply cross off the very last lines until you reach the perfect number.

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Photo by: Ulyana Rudich | Wedding of Ulyana and Dmitry

Choosing a table layout for a banquet

Nowadays they use several basic schemes for arranging tables at a banquet. What matters is the number of guests invited, how large the banquet hall is, and how the bride and groom prefer to do it.

When you look around and choose a hall in a restaurant for a wedding, then immediately see if there are columns in the hall, if there are many steps, if the floor is level. This will introduce its own nuances into the process of arranging tables.

At a common table

This is the most traditional and common seating arrangement. Suitable for weddings with a small number of guests.

In the banquet hall, several tables or one long table are placed close together. And guests are seated around him, usually alternating men and women.

The groom sits in the center of the table and the bride to his right. Next to the bride are her parents, to the left of the groom are his.

Even more often at weddings, their friends-witnesses sit next to the newlyweds.

Place the table in a T shape

If you have a guest list of no more than 30 people and a small banquet hall, then you can arrange the tables in the shape of the letter T.

A young couple sits at the head of the table, and guests and relatives are seated further from them, alternating at their discretion or depending on age and gender.

We place the tables in the letter P or W

If the number of guests is more than thirty, but not more than fifty, and the size of the banquet hall allows, then the tables can be arranged in the letter P.

If there are more than 50 guests, then we add another line of tables and get the letter Ш.

Similarly, the newlyweds are seated in the center, followed by guests and relatives.

How to arrange tables in European style

This arrangement of tables involves placing separate small tables in the hall, where several people sit. And they arrange the tables in a checkerboard pattern so that guests can see the newlyweds.

With this method of seating, guests are seated according to interests, age, marital status, so that it is easier for them to communicate and talk.

At the same time, the toastmaster organizes competitions and involves people from different tables so that the guests also get to know each other.

They use square tables for 4 guests, round tables for eight guests for comfortable communication.

We arrange tables in the form of a herringbone

The newlyweds sit at a separate table, the guests are located at several tables, which stand diagonally, parallel to each other. So everyone should be able to optimally see the young people, and there is a place in class=”aligncenter” width=”720″ height=”288″[/img]

Buffet option

In the West, sometimes they use this seating option, where there is a buffet. Along the walls there are tables with drinks and dishes with treats; all guests choose their own food according to their taste. The guests are sitting at long tables.

There remains room for guests to move freely. The bride and groom have a separate table set.

Seating of guests at a wedding

You have already decided on the list of guests, who you invite to the wedding celebration, you have chosen a restaurant and how the tables will be arranged in the hall.

No less important is the question of which of the guests will sit and where exactly. It is important to seat everyone in such a way that no one gets bored and everyone can communicate.

So, what to pay attention to.

• It is necessary to alternate between men and women, it is advisable that the man sits to the left of the women.
• Make sure that everyone can clearly see the table of the young people and the toastmaster.
• The closest relatives of the young couple should be seated in the closest places.
• We focus on age; it will be more interesting for older people to sit with the elderly, and for parents to sit together.
• Those who came without a partner should be seated separately so that they can communicate freely.
• If among your friends there are those who are already divorced or are not getting along well, then it is better to seat them at different ends of the room.
• A group of friends or colleagues can be seated nearby for closer acquaintance.
• Married couples should also be seated next to each other, so they will be more comfortable than with a single company.
• Among the guests there are always calmer people and cheerful people, it is advisable to dilute the calm ones with cheerful ones.
• If children are present at the wedding, they can be seated at a separate table. This will make them seem more independent.

Don't invite guests out of guilt

Remember one simple rule - you should invite only those you really want to see to the celebration. You don't need to invite a friend to your wedding just because she invited you to hers last year. If you are simply afraid that the person will be offended by not receiving an invitation, or your parents insist on the presence of someone you don’t even know, learn to say a firm “no.”

By refusing, you are not insulting or offending anyone, and if you are reproached for this, do not fall for manipulation. Repeat to yourself often that this is your day and you want to share it only with your closest and beloved people, and there is no place for strangers on this holiday.

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Photo by: Pavel Melnik | Wedding of Sergei and Anastasia

People you can remove from your invite list

1. • Distant relatives whom you have seen once in your life.
2. • People with whom you have not seen for a long time and do not maintain regular contact.
3. • Beloved friends, if you do not know them personally. But married friends should always be invited in pairs.
4. • Children of guests, if you are planning a party for adults only. It is impossible to invite selectively (for example, allowing a sister to come with her son, but not a friend).
5. • People your significant other doesn’t know, because this is your common holiday. If you wish, you can, of course, make an exception for childhood friends or work colleagues, but if the guest list needs to be shortened, don’t be afraid to cross them off.
6. • People who are in conflict with other guests. You should not provoke conflicts at a wedding if it can be avoided.

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Photo by: JezhoraFamily | Wedding of Yura and Sasha

How to make a wedding guest list and not embarrass yourself?

There are rules that are important to follow when deciding who to invite. We tell you in detail, and the infographics at the end of the article will help you remember them.

1. If you know that one of the guests is married or dating, it is customary to invite the couple. If you are not sure about the presence of a soulmate, it is better to clarify. Perhaps a friend will ask for an invitation in his name plus one guest.
2. It is customary for married couples to be invited to a wedding with their children. If you do not plan to entertain children or provide them with additional meals, warn parents in advance. It also happens that young people want to organize a holiday only for adults. In this case, you should honestly tell guests with children about this, but be prepared that some of them will decline the invitation - not everyone has the opportunity or desire to leave the baby for the whole day.
3. It is customary for guests coming from out of town to receive assistance with accommodation. It is considered good practice to find accommodation not far from the place of celebration and pay for accommodation there.
4. When inviting those with serious health concerns, ensure they have a comfortable and safe experience. First of all, we are talking about people with serious illnesses, disabilities and severe allergies to specific foods or pollen.
5. If possible, have a wedding on the weekend , because on weekdays you have less chance of seeing everyone you want.

Evening program and surprises

Don't forget to provide the presenter with a small information sheet about the invitees. This will help him better navigate among the guests, whom he can meet even before the start of dinner at the welcome buffet. Discuss with the host and try to pay special attention to the most important guests of your holiday - parents, grandparents, godparents. Don’t forget that a wedding is a holiday for the guests too. Be sure to do a short photo session with all the guests. It is most convenient to set aside time for this immediately after the ceremony against the backdrop of the arch or in a special photo zone.

A pleasant surprise during the welcome buffet will be a slide show or video about you or even your guests, this may include your archival photos or pre-wedding photography. And don’t forget about the most favorite part of the holiday - dancing! Choose music so that guests of different generations can dance to it. Another pleasant surprise will be a spectacular end to the evening: fireworks, a fire show or launching lanterns, launching wicker wreaths or sparklers into the water - the main thing is to approach it with soul. Let your wedding become a pleasant memory not only for you, but also for your guests!

European seating