Why do they shout “Bitter!” at weddings? The editors of The Village continue, with the help of experts, to answer the strangest and most unexpected questions of our time.

Traditionally, every wedding is accompanied by loud shouts from the guests: “Bitter!” In this way they encourage the newlyweds to kiss. But that's not all: as soon as the spouses touch their lips, the guests begin their countdown for seconds. Let the kiss last longer! Where did the custom of shouting “Bitter” at a wedding come from and what is the meaning of this tradition - read on.

Interesting fact: the custom of shouting “Gorko” is present only in Slavic culture. No other nation in the world has such an analogue of this tradition.

In ancient times, only elders had the right to shout this word to the bride and groom. Later, the privilege extended to men - but only to those who had a “mature” and strong family. It was believed that these people were able to pass on a piece of their wisdom to the young spouses.

Where did the tradition of shouting “bitter” at a wedding come from, and not “sweetly”, what does it mean?

No one knows the real reason for the emergence of this tradition; even in one region there may be several versions. There are many options, but there are several main ones, and they are used most often. The reasons vary greatly, it’s easier to sort out the main ones and use the one you like:

1. Previously, most weddings were held in late autumn or winter, when there was no work in the fields and it was possible to walk and have fun. They made a mountain in the bride's yard and filled it with water. The bride and her friends were located at the top, and the groom and his friends had to climb up without any equipment, and the people around encouraged them by shouting “Slide!” When this worked out, the future husband and wife kissed.
2. The guests warded off evil spirits with loud screams. When “bitter” could be heard from the windows, evil spirits passed by and did not cause trouble for the young family. If you only rejoice, you can attract trouble.
3. In many regions, the bride personally approached each guest with a tray on which there was a glass of vodka (this tradition is still preserved in the outback). It was necessary to put a gift on the tray and drink vodka, and so that it would not be so bitter, the young woman would give a symbolic kiss.
4. The bride was leaving her parents' home, so the event was tinged with bitterness. But after this, the young couple had many years of marriage ahead of them; such outcries were supposed to be the last unpleasant moment.

Each region has its own versions, they can differ greatly from the generally accepted ones. You can choose the option you like, there is not much difference, and the tradition does not change.

Why do you need to count after shouting “Bitter”?

For many newlyweds, this “part” of tradition causes particular indignation. How many seconds does it take to kiss? And why should guests even consider this? It turns out that this tradition also contains special symbolism.

It used to be that while the bride and groom were kissing, the guests were counting not the duration of the act itself, but the number of years they would live together. Therefore, it was believed that the longer your kiss lasts, the longer your life together will be.

After all the information received, this tradition appears in a completely new light, doesn't it? Now a long kiss in front of guests is not such a tiring prospect.

Why do they shout “bitterly” at a wedding, count and then kiss?

If we start from simpler and more understandable reasons, we can also find several, each of which has the right to life. If you don’t really like the versions about the origin of the tradition, you should use other options:

1. Parents of newlyweds feel bitterness because their children have grown up and are leaving for independent lives.
2. The young people regretted that they would not be able to have fun, since this was the lot of single people. Married people led a measured life and did not participate in many of the amusements of that time.
3. It was believed that these were the last bitter minutes before many years of happy family life. Therefore, it was necessary to leave everything bad on this day.

As for the count, originally it meant how many years the bride and groom would live in a happy marriage. It was necessary to kiss as long as possible. Guests count “bitterly” after each one, but previously they did this once.

For your information!

They counted up to ten, and then went by tens, and then by hundreds.

Why at a wedding, when the newlyweds kiss, they think

As for the reasons, there are much fewer versions than about the kiss itself, accompanied by cries of “bitter.” There are few explanations, they are all related to future family life. Some appeared a long time ago, but one appeared relatively recently:

1. It was believed that the longer the bride and groom kiss, the more happy years of family life they will have. In some regions they simply count, while in others after ten there are twenty, thirty, and so on.
2. Sometimes the counting is slow to determine how many children a couple will have. The newlyweds just need to stop at the desired number or take it as a joke.
3. The newest version is how many seconds the kiss will last, how many square meters will be in the apartment or house. It is partly comic, but at the same time it has spread widely among people.

There is no need to count during each kiss, as this drags out the wedding too much and quickly gets boring for the newlyweds. There are no rules or speed limits; you can do it fast or slow. Usually everyone does this together, and after finishing they applaud.

How the tradition of shouting “bitterly” at a wedding appeared in Rus'

There is no exact information about the time and place where the tradition appeared. It existed already in the 18th century, and the roots most likely go even deeper. Previously, it was not customary to shout out “bitterly” after each toast; nowadays, this exclamation is often abused, so the newlyweds get tired of getting up every 5 minutes. Because of this, this moment is often discussed with the toastmaster; many weddings do without this tradition. As for the versions of the appearance, we can make out some:

1. It was believed that after the young couple kissed, sour wine would become sweeter and vodka would not be so bitter.
2. In addition to scaring away spirits, this tradition was supposed to take away all the sorrows of the bride and groom and ensure a long and happy marriage.
3. Another version is the end of the bitter life of a young couple due to the fact that they lived separately. Now there will be only sweetness.
4. The last option is sadness from the loss of the former carefree life. The couple should not feel bitter about this and leave it at the wedding.

Each region has its own variants of the appearance of the tradition, the interpretation may vary. But the essence is always approximately the same. And if the newlyweds do not want to cry “bitterly,” the guests should respect their decision.

Where did this traditional wedding custom come from?

Why do the guests at the wedding shout “Bitter!” to the young people? There are many legends about the origin of this custom. Some of them:

• The emergence of the tradition of shouting to the newlyweds at the wedding came from Russian folk festivals. One of the pre-engagement games “Gorka” was transformed into the name of the traditional occasion for the newlyweds to kiss. The Russian wedding ceremony took place at the end of the harvest, in winter, and since there was always a lot of snow in Rus', the bride’s parents arranged a test for the matchmakers. A slide was built from snow in the yard and then watered. The frost grabbed her and she became slippery. The bride and her friends were on top of the slide. They shouted “Gorka!” to the groom; with the help of his friends, he had to climb up to his betrothed and then kiss her. The bride's friends and the groom's side also kissed, and then the whole crowd laughed and rolled down the slide with the newlyweds.
• The second interesting legend about the origin of the tradition is that the bride at the wedding feast went around to all the guests and treated them from a glass containing bitter vodka. Those invited had to taste it and, as if to confirm the naturalness of the drink, they said “Bitter!” And those who poured coins onto the tray could sweeten its taste by kissing the newlywed. The grooms did not like this custom, and it gradually developed into a traditional one;
• to the third theory of the origin of the tradition, according to which guests shout “Bitter!” The wedding was influenced by the superstition of our ancestors. Why? They believed in evil spirits who had a special hatred for the happiness of people and in an effort to deceive them, those invited to the wedding shouted “Bitter!” According to legend, evil spirits, hearing how bad they were, left in search of happy people;
• There is another interesting theory about the origin of this tradition, according to which relatives and friends of the newlyweds shout “Bitter!” at the wedding. It was believed that the kiss of the newlyweds could sweeten wine that those present considered tasteless. The signal for the kiss of the marrying couple was given with the words: “The wine in the glass is dirty”;
• those present at the wedding shouted because they regretted the transition of the bride and groom to married status. Why? In Rus', only single people could have fun, while married people were deprived of this opportunity. At that time, the kiss of the newlyweds was proof of the transition to a new “sweet” life together.

Spring wedding: May

At the wedding, newlyweds are shouted “Bitter!”, which is a signal for a kiss, and parents are shouted “Sweet!” Why? This is explained by the fact that the newlyweds feel bitter at the wedding because they were apart, but their parents surpassed them in their long life together and they now feel sweet. Traditionally, they were supposed to set an example for the young and prove this with a “sweet kiss.”

An interesting tradition is the kiss of witnesses. It is appropriate if they are single. Previously, witnesses were selected according to this principle, with the expectation that there was a possibility of mutual sympathy and subsequently another wedding. Relatives and friends of the newlyweds shout “Sour!” to the witnesses at the wedding. They may not comply with the wishes of the guests.

Despite the established tradition in which those invited shout “Bitter!”, its appropriateness should be stipulated in advance, because the attitude towards it is very ambiguous. If, for example, the bride’s upbringing does not allow kissing under the gaze of many people, not taking into account the fact of the relationship of those present, and guests from the groom’s side call for a kiss, then a conflict situation may arise, as a result of which the celebration will be ruined. You should not overdo it with frequent calls for kisses from the couple getting married, so as not to overshadow the holiday.

Why you can’t shout “bitterly” at an Armenian wedding

If you attend a wedding among Armenians, then such a tradition will be out of place there, like among many other peoples. You must follow the rules, after a toast they say “tush!” As for the reasons for this ban, they are:

1. It is not customary for Armenians to show their feelings in public, much less kiss in front of everyone. It is believed that the first kiss should only take place on the wedding night.
2. The bride should marry innocent. The maximum that is allowed is a kiss on the cheek from the groom at the registry office.

You also need to remember that at such a wedding the bride never throws the bouquet. Because it is not customary for girls to show their desire to get married quickly. They do without this part if the celebration is organized according to Armenian traditions.

The roots of the tradition of shouting “bitterly” at a wedding go back to past centuries and it is truly unknown when and where it first appeared. The main thing to remember is that you should not overuse it, so as not to tire the newlyweds or irritate them. And it’s better to count 1-2 times during a kiss, and not constantly.

Oh, those kisses!

Just give those who love free rein - they will kiss each other. But kissing in public is somehow not particularly pleasant, even if the public itself strongly demands it. Usually newlyweds have to kiss many times during their wedding day. In the registry office, at a photo shoot, at a celebration, with everyone shouting “Bitter!” Alas, we cannot say that every captured frame of this manifestation of tenderness turns out beautiful. How to kiss correctly at a wedding, so that later you don’t feel painfully ashamed to look at your own wedding album? This is not to say that there are certain rules for a wedding kiss.

But it doesn’t hurt to take some nuances into account:

• The kiss should be romantic. If you are embarrassed by the public around you, try to imagine that there is no one around except you two. Regular kisses are unlikely to brighten up the celebration.
• If nothing bothers you at all, that's not too good either. Even a seemingly harmless kiss can look vulgar if the newlyweds forget about the rules of decency. Respect yourself and your guests. You will have time for too open kisses after the holiday.
• Experienced photographers can tell newlyweds how to make a photo with a kiss sweet and romantic. There are some tricks that give the frames tenderness. For example, when the newlyweds cover themselves with a bridal veil. Or they are lightly covered by a bouquet, a flowering branch, a paper heart, a beautiful umbrella that witnesses can hold, etc.

Signs and superstitions for newlyweds

A wedding is so steeped in various superstitions that it is impossible to follow all the rules:

1. The dress must have long sleeves, since the bride and groom should not touch each other with bare skin.
2. In Rus', white was considered the color of joy, innocence and mourning. Most often, two dresses were chosen for the wedding ceremony. The first is for a wedding (white or black). The second is for celebration. It must be bright. The color most often used was red.
3. The groom should not see the bride's dress before the wedding, otherwise there will be trouble. At the same time, he finances the purchase of the outfit. If the bride buys the dress herself, then there will be no wedding or life will not work out.
4. During the celebration, the groom should not take a single step away from the bride. It will be the same in life.
5. In order for a girl to live well with her husband, earrings are put on her by a married friend or sister who is happily married.
6. A pin attached with the head down, or a couple of stitches on clothes made of blue or red thread can protect young people from the evil eye. With such simple manipulations they protect themselves from the evil eye.
7. It is not clear for what reasons, but the bride should wear closed-toed shoes. To live richly, a coin is placed in the right shoe.
8. After the ceremony, you cannot go home along the direct route. You need to drive around the city a little, weaving around. This confuses the evil spirits so that they do not find their way to the young people’s house.

Shouting “Bitter” at a wedding is only a small part of what needs to be observed. It is especially useful for superstitious newlyweds to read about all the rules. Those who are indifferent to the ancient rules can build a holiday according to their own wishes.

So that it's not bitter...

What is a wedding without shouts of “Bitter!” Where did this mysterious word come from, which they so love to “torture” newlyweds? Of course, it was not invented at all so that others would know how to kiss at a wedding. There is no exact answer to the question of the origin of the “bitter” wish. According to one version, this is a rework of the word “slide”, because during matchmaking the groom had to prove the power of love by climbing the slippery slope of a steep ice slide to the bride. According to another, the word “bitter!” the guests expressed dissatisfaction with the taste of vodka and demanded that the newlyweds sweeten the drink with a kiss. According to the third, the word “bitterly” expressed the fate of an unfortunate girl who was given to someone else’s family, often without her consent and without the right to see her relatives for a long time.

Fortunately, today “Gorko!” - This is a wish for a sweet and rich life to the newlyweds. By the way, it can be supplemented with a wish, for example, in poetry, which can be ordered from us.

And may kisses in a young family always remain as tender and beautiful as on her birthday.