Weddings
- Is it possible for parents to officiate a wedding?
- What should the mother of the bride do at a wedding?
- Responsibilities of the father of the bride
- The role of the groom's father at a wedding
- What to do at the mother of the groom's wedding
- Divorced parents of newlyweds at a wedding
Every bride counts the days until her wedding day. Her parents are also preparing for the holiday with her. They want the celebration to be fun and interesting. And it’s not for nothing that the father and mother of the spouses are interested in the question of how parents should behave at a wedding.
Is it possible for parents to officiate a wedding?
There is no clear answer to this question. Well, judge for yourself - if your son or your daughter decides to tie the knot, then at the celebration you will have to perform other functions . Most likely, it will be difficult to perform all functions at the same time, so it is better to entrust the role of toastmaster to someone else. But if you think that you can cope with all the responsibilities, then sketch out a plan for the celebration and rehearse your roles in advance.
Parents and children at a wedding
At a wedding, parents must first of all support the bride and groom , because this holiday is “exciting” and painfully solemn.
Parents should help organize the celebration. They advise on the venue, menu selection, and help decide where to seat guests. In addition, parents also need to relax and have a lot of fun at the wedding, which is unlikely to be combined with the festive bustle and organization.
What should the mother of the bride do at a wedding?
The mother of the bride has many tasks:
- For example, on the wedding day she will need to prepare breakfast for everyone, since it is unlikely that anyone else will have time to do it.
- Mom should help the bride get dressed.
- She needs to take care of preparing the buffet table - purchase and prepare snacks or entrust this matter to specialists.
- Prepare food for stops along the way. It is more convenient to immediately put it into containers.
- Stock up on rose petals, rice, millet or coins to shower the newlyweds.
- Organize a meeting of guests in the premises for a celebration while the newlyweds are skating.
- Ensure timely delivery of the birthday cake.
- Keep track of gifts during the celebration.
- After the holiday, check that guests have not forgotten things.
All this should be done by the newly-made mother-in-law. Do you agree that this is not an easy task? Therefore, it is better not to take on additional obligations in the form of holding a celebration.
Responsibilities of the father of the bride
The bride's father , called by her newly-made husband with the important word "father-in-law", is the guest of honor at the wedding. At the same time, he is an important character. But first, a little history.
Previously, in Russia there was a custom for husband and wife not only not to prepare for the wedding themselves, but also not to see each other before the wedding. The wedding day was fixed by their fathers. When the groom's parents came to get married, the bride's father set the table for the guests, but the future husband's family brought drinks. After the agreement, the bride's father announced a list of his daughter's dowry. Of course, today times have changed, but if a very young couple is going down the aisle, then the wedding is most often organized for them by their parents.
Father in law at a wedding
How does the father of the bride participate in preparations for the celebration:
- Draws up an estimate for the holiday, provides financial assistance to the couple for the wedding, and negotiates with the groom’s family on the distribution of financial costs.
- Most often, the future father-in-law is responsible for finding and ordering a banquet hall and cars for the wedding procession.
- The father controls the ransom ceremony, monitors the time during the process, and then seats the guests in their cars and checks for the availability of booze.
- After the painting, the bride's father congratulates the couple.
- When the newlyweds go for a walk, the groom's father-in-law goes to the banquet hall and supervises the preparation for the banquet and the meeting of the newly made husband and wife.
- He can also be entrusted with decorating the banquet hall, bringing the wedding cake, and supervising the musicians and toastmaster.
- When the newlyweds arrive at the banquet hall, the bride's father meets the guests and introduces them.
- He can make sure that there is enough space for everyone at the table.
- The bride's father also meets the newlyweds and blesses them.
- He also makes the first table speech in honor of the newlyweds.
- The father's duties include dancing with his daughter (the third in a row, since her husband invites her to the first, and her father-in-law to the second).
- Sometimes the father invites the groom's mother to dance, which indicates the union of the two families.
- At the end of the feast, the bride's father says parting words and blesses the children's marriage.
The father of the bride must give a prepared and well-thought-out speech, since he is the one who opens the feast
The main responsibility of a parent at his daughter’s wedding is her support and attention to her.
Wedding morning for the parents of the bride and groom
The groom's parents in the morning are not so complicated by their responsibilities, because there are no guests yet, and the groom does not have so much time to get ready. True, sometimes wedding video shooting begins from here, and then parents must take care of photos and videos, as well as prepare a short interview or parting words in advance.
The bride's parents have a more difficult time, because they need to control the ransom, as well as check and accommodate the guests. Getting ready for the bride also takes a lot of effort and time: you need to make sure that the wedding makeup artist and hairdresser arrive on time, prepare the bride's outfit, and plan the buffet reception. By the way, it should be mentioned that setting the table and serving glasses of champagne is the task of witnesses, not the parents of the young.
If we take the blessing into account, then we need to proceed from the traditions of families - to receive a blessing from the relatives of both spouses before the ceremony, after the painting, during the exit or at another moment. It is usually customary to bless the future spouse just before leaving home.
The wedding portal Svadbaholik.ru claims that there is one more duty - to escort the daughter out of the house, ask the guests to follow her, perhaps, according to tradition, shower her with candy, rice, wheat and coins for a sweet and long life.
The role of the groom's father at a wedding
Just like the father of the bride, the father-in-law has a financial role in organizing the wedding. Moreover, most of the costs should be on his part. He is not assigned any special responsibilities in preparing and holding the banquet, but still he must:
- invite the bride to dance (after she dances with the groom and father);
- say parting words, congratulate the newlyweds on the beginning of their life together;
- together with his wife, meet the newly made husband and wife in front of the banquet hall with bread and salt;
- at the end of the banquet, the father and mother of the groom give the newlyweds a symbolic candle, which symbolizes the transfer of the hearth from generation to generation.
The father-in-law and his wife have the most important responsibility - moral support, because their child is entering adulthood and he will have to be the head of the family, make important decisions, protect his wife and children. At the banquet, the father-in-law can present the daughter-in-law with a gift - such gold earrings with amethyst and cubic zirconia as a sign of hope for the creation and prosperity of a strong family.
Gold earrings with amethyst and cubic zirconia, Maskom (price on the link)
What to do at the mother of the groom's wedding
The groom's mother is more busy at the wedding than the father:
- According to tradition, she helps her son choose an outfit and gifts for the bride.
- The newly-made mother-in-law monitors the placement of guests in the banquet hall and determines their places at the table.
- She is responsible for overnight accommodations for out-of-town guests.
- According to tradition, at the celebration the mother dances with the groom. You can rehearse and choose a song in advance to make the dance beautiful.
- The mother-in-law can take upon herself the responsibility of introducing related people.
- She must greet the bride and groom with bread and salt when they arrive at the banquet hall.
- There is a ritual of removing the veil, which is also performed by the mother-in-law. In this way, she expresses her love for her new daughter and takes her under her “wing.” The groom (or mother of the bride) carefully removes the veil, and the mother-in-law ties the girl’s head with a beautiful scarf or stole.
Mother in law at a wedding
Mother of the groom's clothes
Stylish mom
The future mother-in-law's outfit should be elegant, but also comfortable. Because you will need to organize a lot at the banquet, including a dance with your son. It should be noted that the outfits of the mothers of the newlyweds should be in harmony with each other. White is excluded because it is the color of the bride. Bright and too flashy outfits should also be put aside.
Divorced parents of newlyweds at a wedding
Usually the bride and groom want to see both parents at the wedding, even if they are divorced. If the parents separated peacefully and have no complaints against each other, then difficulties are unlikely to arise, and the future married couple can simply prepare two different invitations. But other situations also happen, if the parents are not on very good terms, then this must be taken into account:
- Talk to mom and dad before the invitation, discuss the details. Better yet, have dinner all together. But before that, think about whether such a meeting will develop even greater hostility.
- If one parent hates the other, then try to explain to him that you want to see both mom and dad at the celebration. Ask to stop hostility for one day and spend it in peace and harmony.
- If your parents have significant others, then you should not invite them to the wedding (if you don’t know them, and if it will be unpleasant for the other parent).
Usually at the banquet witnesses or parents sit next to the newlyweds. A divorced mom and dad can be placed together if they can communicate peacefully. If you think that this should not be done, then use a fairly common option - place his mother and the bride’s father next to the groom, and her mother and the groom’s father next to the bride.
A wedding is an important day not only for the newlyweds, but also for their parents. Of course, moms and dads want to take part in organizing and celebrating the occasion. If you correctly distribute responsibilities and notify parents about them in advance, then everything will go at the highest level. By the way, a wedding is a good occasion for reconciliation between mom and dad , who have been harboring a grudge for many years.
How to ransom a bride
Bride ransom is, perhaps, one of the most ancient customs that have come down to us without losing its meaning and significance over time. Despite the fact that more modern competitions and tests have been introduced into the ransom process itself, the ultimate goal of the groom is to overcome them and reach the bride. And the bride’s friends are trying their best to stop him in order to get as much ransom as possible.
Tips for organizing a buyout:
- The duration of the ransom should not be long - 15–20 minutes, no longer. During this time, the participants will not have time to get emotionally tired, because they have a very busy day ahead.
- There is no need to come up with too complicated competitions so that the groom does not start to get nervous and feel awkward. Competitions should be fun and easy.
- The groom needs to stock up in advance with the necessary amount of money, sweets and champagne.
Having successfully completed the traditional ransom ceremony, the wedding cortege is sent to the registry office. After the official ceremony, the newlyweds, accompanied by friends, take a wedding walk and a wedding photo shoot. Meanwhile, their relatives are preparing a gala meeting for them at the wedding venue.
KNOWLEDGE BASE: Golden wedding - scenario at home