Dirty congratulations on the wedding
Everyone prepares their own congratulations for the wedding of the newlyweds, regardless of whether you are invited to the registry office, to a festive banquet, or simply want to congratulate relatives, friends or acquaintances via the Internet or using a postcard on this wonderful day. An original choice would be cool congratulations, which will become real finds for you on our website. The bravest ones can choose vulgar funny congratulations - even if they make the heroes of the occasion blush a little, they will then pay off by increasing their love desire and mutual attraction. And on our website you will see that even such congratulations can be pleasant and cute.
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The groom, tired on the wedding bed, sometimes wants to, but cannot. The bride blushes with shame: Sometimes she wishes, but does not dare, Covering her face with a mop of hair, Invigorate the drooping member with saliva.
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A fateful day for the young, Will add gray hair to the pubic hair, Someone “Bitter!” “Bitterly” he will shout, Someone drunk is sleeping under the table in the “shit”. You are fucked, tortured to the point of pain, People with bread and salt are fucked, Dances, vodka, a drunken crowd, This will continue until the morning. Young people should be patient and accept congratulations from those who deserve them.
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I'm sick of the costs of the wedding, But I congratulate the newlyweds on this date, Let the husband solve everything in the family, The wife just pleases him. I wish that children would appear, and among them there would be girls and boys. The girls are as beautiful as angels, and the boys are as mischievous as dad.
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They say that family is great, Husband, dog, wife, kids, But don’t believe others - it’s terrible, There’s only one dick and a pussy at hand. But there are, of course, moments, And people like you meet, They don’t skimp on compliments, They live until death in love. I drank a lot of crap, And I want to add a little, Be a shining example to those families from whom I turn my nose up.
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Happy wedding day, young people, congratulations, Today the world is spinning around you, I wish you a break from the hustle and bustle, Make us all happy with your heir. Let the husband be like a faithful dog to the bride, After all, the reproductive organ for the wife, He tries and loves her very much, That’s what men are needed for. Bride - don’t argue with the man, And please him in every possible way in bed, So that the husband cums as he should, try, So that the faithful dog does not run away to another.
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Love and sex cement relationships, Stronger than two golden rings, A good fuck promotes decisions, And a man’s head plows better. I wish our new recruits in marriage, So that your halves don’t fuck your brains, Wife and husband, you become one, Find understanding in love and sex.
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This day will be remembered for a long time, The groom paid so much money, He sold his kidney so that they could buy rings, a wedding dress and cakes. But then the wife got caught, Living with a man is just hell, Right, you didn’t pack your socks? And I didn’t see any computer “barriers.” I'm kidding, love is wonderful, Be happy my dears, Let it always be great in bed, And where can you go without love.
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I congratulate the newlyweds on their wedding day, May the rings fasten their hearts forever, I fervently wish you to be faithful, “Swing parties” will not be understood by the wife. Love, dear ones, and carry it, Your love in the safety of your hearts, F*ck it, I just ask you, don’t do it, Otherwise, the relationship is fucked.
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Cool congratulations on your wedding day: To the newlyweds | Short | To the groom | To the bride | To a friend | To a friend
Swearing birthday greetings
I'm sitting on a bench. My swimming trunks are sticking to my wet ass. My nose is covered in snot. Mascara is dried under my eyes. My shoes are missing a heel.
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Drink, smoke, walk, fight, Every day, fuck like a horse! Remember - there is only one life! Happy birthday old man!!!
Since we have one life, live boldly, old man! Fart loudly, sneeze out loud, Trim the fluff on your pussy.
Smoke, drink, walk, fight, Every day, fuck like a horse! Remember - we have one life! Happy Birthday old man!!!
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The goat found a nickel in the grass. Twisted it this way and that. Then he went to the cooperative and bought a condom.
Then he went to the barnyard and showed the goat the device. The goat said I don’t want it. The goat said I’ll get rich.
The goat was not a fool And immediately raised its tail And here comes the people's court They carry Gandon on a stick
The moral of the story is this: there was a hole in the condom
The bear slept in the den for a long time, Everything stinks, his hands and feet, his ass is stinking, his back is crooked, his dick is sweating, his stomach is swelling,
The eye is swollen, the fingers are frozen, the snot is a rod, the balls are swollen, and the moral here is this: You will sleep for a long time, Khan.
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On your birthday, they wished you warmth, happiness and health, you accepted men's congratulations, and women's. Sincerely and with love.
We all wished you success and good luck, so that everything in life would be easy and simple, and they wished you longevity in a different way. And someone wished for career growth...
I don’t know what else you could wish for... You wished for everything, it’s unlikely that you forgot anything. But most importantly, what else I wish is that the dick always stands and there is money!
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I have wanted you for a long time, I saw your breasts and was dumbfounded, It means that my birthday will be a success, Someone will give himself to me today!
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I give you gifts and flowers, Feeling like an idiot. It’s not that you’re so beautiful, but you just want to fuck!
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So, since we have one life, live boldly, old man! Fart loudly, sneeze out loud, Trim the fluff on your pussy.
Smoke, drink, walk, fight, Every day, fuck like a horse! Remember - we have one life! Happy Birthday old man!!!
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Forever mine: congratulations! My dear girl, beloved and dearest. I congratulate you on your birthday and send you my congratulations via email!
Let time rush by, Let the years pass, But you will be the best in the world forever! Happy birthday!
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I wish you more gifts from fate, on your day! Strong feelings, bright impressions! Love and happiness! Congratulations!
On your birthday - on this bright holiday! I wish you, fuck, happiness, and not only - So that in every fuck there is a participant first, So that there is no fucking money!
Let your fucker glow with health, May your dick expand and ascend! So that every bitch, fucking boss, treats you with dignity and honor!
Let all your troubles go to hell, Let sorrows and anxieties take you into your mouth! Let your wishes, in all centuries and years, How whores spread their legs before you!
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Once in the bathhouse, naked. Suddenly the butt met the face, The face said with offense, And you, ass, are doing well!
Slender, blush and beautiful, Well, you just look amazing! What's the matter? My God! After all, we are the same age as you!
And the priest answered honestly, Although sometimes I feel cramped, But I still live as I want, I don’t worry, I don’t grumble,
I’m not going to show wrinkles, Well, in general, I’m not trying at all, To be the most important among the popes! And you, nodding at sclerosis,
You stick your nose in everywhere, you make a smile, you make eyes, you bother lazy men, in short, you are playing a game,
And I look at everything and shit! The moral is clear to any dog, It’s already ringing in your ears, If everything goes to your ass, Your appearance will be beautiful!
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On this day, let mom hurry and pour some vodka. Dad will congratulate you, and mom will pour it, and your friend will push the toast, and dad will top it up.
There will be broken glasses, pieces of bananas on the table. there will be guests and wine - everyone will go to hell.
your friends will rejoice and congratulate you on your birthday.
Congratulations! Pull yourself up, don't skimp on your smile, cheer up and look around, How beautiful this life is.
Prosper, dare, work hard, turn around in any business, stay firmly on your feet, be successful, don’t be lazy.
Upwards always and only upwards, To make life joyful. So the little eyes lit up, which means it’s fucked up.
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On your birthday I wish you everything you wish for! Smiles, joy, luck, Love, kindness and beauty!
You are like a flower under a clear sky, Always beautiful and young, And everyone thinks: “Oh, I wish I had a wife like her.”
Pure, sweet and desirable, You give everyone warmth and light. So as not to screw up - you are awesome! There is simply no other word!
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Today you celebrate your name day and receive congratulations from your loved ones. May everything be as you wish for you today and from now on.
Let happiness be like the sun at sunrise, And life be calm on the ocean surface. Let the b*tches stay away from you, And let the one who is close not be a b*tch.
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Having congratulated you on your birthday, I will not use banal phrases, I wish you awesome chicks, Fuck many times a day! Get rid of all the troubles, send the problems to hell, worry less about work, don’t strain yourself! Cheerful, strong and lucky, Fly to victories, don’t wander, So that everything in life is on track, Raise more money!
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Man, live for your own joy, Forget about all your problems! So that life does not seem empty, Eat and drink from your enemies! Let the happiness be awesome, Live your life with brilliance, with joy! And stupidity and bl..stvo, send it to hell with a sitting!
Funny short wedding anniversary greetings
You and I have been tolerating each other for many years now, I’m tired of making you dinner every evening.
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I want to go to a restaurant, my love, to celebrate my anniversary, I will be drunk with love, I will dance for a long time.
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Take out your little moneybox, take the money quickly, I’ll order us for the evening, a very fast taxi!
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I prepared a toast, And a declaration of love, I wish us in everything, Love and understanding! Happy anniversary, my love, I am crazy about you, You are my sweetest, we will always be together!
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On my anniversary I promise, I will carry my husband in my arms, I will no longer ask for a fur coat from him.
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I take care of his nerves, Let the moth be hungry, He is the very first man, I know the password for him.
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Congratulations, beloved husband, Happy anniversary, dear, Whatever happens to us, Don’t forget your password!
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Anniversary, anniversary, There's a reason for the fun. For some, marriage is work, for others it’s just worries, but in our family, like in a fairy tale, there is a sea of feelings, emotions, affection. We continue in the same spirit and adore each other!
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I picked up the key to my heart, We became one family, Don’t let another try to open your love lock.
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I will fight to the end, For my man, Let them not think to be equal, I know everything about my husband.
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Happy anniversary, my love, I am crazy about you, You are my sweetest, we will always be together!
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I know all your habits, Already inside and out, You filled me with happiness, Like a huge bottle.
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Everyone, my friends, is jealous that we are together, We are not just next to you, We are very deeply in love.
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Happy anniversary, beloved husband, I adore you, May our main dream come true soon!
Congratulations to parents on their golden wedding from children
Gold has always had a magical effect on people. It served as a means of payment and was used to make ritual objects and jewelry. The 50th anniversary of marriage is called a golden wedding , because a marriage that has lasted half a century seems imperishable. It is as strong as gold and as valuable as this precious metal. The couple who managed to maintain their love for half a century is wise and very constant.
Since both partners have reached a certain age, congratulations should contain respectful words.
*** Dear Mom and Dad! You can be proud of your 50 year marriage. You taught us to believe in love and forgive the mistakes of others. We will always be grateful to you for this.
*** 50 years of marriage is a whole life. You are celebrating your wedding anniversary, which is called golden, but no one says that your life was measured and calm. However, you must admit, there was more good than bad, otherwise we would not have gathered in such a composition today. Be healthy, support and please each other always and in everything.
*** A lot has happened in 50 years of marriage, but you have a true treasure of wonderful memories. You enjoy the touching episodes yourself and share your memories with us. Good luck to you, dear ones, family warmth, prosperity and patience.
*** Fifty fanfare sounds, They say “thank you” to the dear family. Yes, the years fly by, leaving moments for noisy fun and spiritual victories. I wish that you have more moments, that you live comfortably and further from troubles. And may luck not leave you, May it always help you in business and in everything. And life inspires and tenderly beckons To what you want and have been waiting for for a long time.
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*** Half a century of marriage is a real feat. You spent almost your entire life together. We are proud to have such wonderful, kind, honest and wise parents. You will always remain that couple that is impossible not to love.
*** 50 years of family life have passed like an earthly moment. And today we’ll sprinkle a glass with wine to congratulate you on your golden wedding.
We remember our childhood with warmth and care. How we hurried home with eagerness. And today, a golden anniversary crept into our family home.
Let's wish your dear ones a sea of happiness, respect, health and warmth. Let bad weather pass by. Peace to you, family goodness.
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Comic congratulations in prose
For those who like to speak in public, a funny wedding day greeting written in prose is suitable, which can be changed during the speech, improvising on the go.
Congratulations and I wish you that the candy-bouquet period lasts your whole life, but sometimes alternates with a delicious cutlet, so that our groom is always full, and the bride is able to show him all her amazing culinary abilities!
Congratulations on your holiday! Let a “black” streak in your life come from today: you will drive a black Porshe, relax on the Black Sea and eat black caviar with spoons!
Today is a wonderful day! Our bride is as good as Snow White and economical as Cinderella. But our groom is no slouch either - the real Ilya Muromets, strong, handsome, smart! So let this amazing family continue to live in a real fairy tale, in which good triumphs over evil! Good luck and happiness to your newly formed union!
Congratulations, newlyweds! Today you received your marriage certificate, so let it be an incentive for you to have a perfect relationship. After all, remember that there are supervisory authorities, i.e. we, who will visit you every year exactly on this date to check. And you will need to prove that your love is still as strong as it is today! Happiness and good luck to you in this matter!
Newlyweds, today you, intoxicated by love for each other, voluntarily deprived yourselves of freedom. Therefore, I want to wish you that even after many years you will not have a “hangover” and your feelings will remain as strong as they are now!
Congratulations, dears! We know that you have already received one profession in universities, but ahead of you lies the development of completely new professions for you: builder, carpenter and jack of all trades - for the groom, cook, seamstress and dishwasher - for the bride. But the most important profession that will teach you to be wiser, more patient and kinder is parents. Good luck to you in such a difficult but pleasant task as building a happy family!
Bernard Shaw once expressed the following opinion: “To marry is stupid, not to marry is even more stupid.” Therefore, I would like to wish you that you will never regret the stupidity you committed today! And in the future they would do many, many more “stupid things”, because of which ringing laughter would sound in your house and the union would only become stronger!
