In the modern world, intimacy before marriage is quite a common occurrence. However, among some peoples, sexual activity must take place strictly after marriage, according to religious canons. For example, the Arabs' wedding night is one of the most important stages of a Muslim wedding. How does it go? Is sex necessary? The wedding portal Svadbaholik.ru talks about the traditions of the first wedding night in Arab countries that profess Islam.
Arab wedding night: traditions and rituals
The first wedding night is preceded by a lot of preparation. This is an exciting moment for both the bride and the groom. If the wedding takes place in compliance with all the strictness of traditions, then the newlyweds may not even know each other. But in any case, everything on this day should emphasize the significance of the moment in the life of a young couple.
Bedroom preparation
The room in which the first wedding night will take place and sex between the newly made spouses will take place should be decorated in a special way. The Arabs have certain rules in this regard:
- It is customary to dim the light in the room. In bright light, the bride and groom may feel shy about each other. To do this, use beautiful night lights or lamps with a pale glow.
- There should not be a single extra living soul in the room. Entry is prohibited not only to relatives or friends, but even to animals.
- The holy book Koran should not be in the room. If it is indoors, it needs to be covered with a cloth.
Clothes for newlyweds
The newlyweds should wear their best clothes and smell nice. For this, various essential oils with a delicate aroma are often used. There is nothing to say about the beauty of the bride: the wedding dresses of Muslim brides are rightfully considered one of the most luxurious. According to tradition, they are decorated with gold embroidery and precious stones, so Arab girls look simply stunning before their wedding night.
Treats for the bride
On the wedding night, the young husband should treat his wife with honey, sweets and fruits. According to Arab traditions, this is done so that the bride’s entry into family life will be sweet and it will be easier for her to say goodbye to her family and friends.
Prayer is an important stage of the first night of the newlyweds
The first wedding night in Islam begins with a traditional prayer. First, the groom puts his hand on the bride’s forehead and asks Allah that their life together be happy and that many children be born into the young family. After this, the newlyweds perform a common prayer. It is believed that turning to Allah together has a positive effect on the emotional state of newlyweds, helping them to relax and not worry about intimacy.
Tenderness and affection are prerequisites for first intimacy
Why should a husband be especially affectionate and gentle with his wife on his wedding night? The fact is that many Arab girls marry as virgins and, accordingly, are afraid of first intimacy. Therefore, the spouse needs to treat the situation with understanding and win him over, so that the young wife has only positive emotions from the first night together.
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The problem of women's fears associated with the onset of sexual activity has always existed, regardless of time, place and other related factors. However, if in some societies marrying a virgin is considered almost a special favor of Fortune, then in others the beginning of sexual relations has always (with rare exceptions) been and remains associated with mandatory marriage. One of these is Arab society, in which young girls still experience fear before starting the physiological side of married life. Therefore, it is not surprising that among the questions addressed by representatives of the fair sex to the famous Egyptian specialist in the field of marital relations, Hebe Kotb, one of the most common is the one that in one form or another concerns the problem of fear of the wedding night.
“I’m getting married soon,” writes one of the visitors to Heba Kotb’s website. “However, the first wedding night seems to me something unknown and, perhaps, even dangerous.” I am afraid of sexual contact with a man and the pain that comes as a result of it. What and how should I do to satisfy my husband and myself?
“First of all, I would like to note that your words that contact with a man brings pain are incorrect,” answers H. Kotb, a doctor of sexology and a graduate of Maimonides University (USA). - You must understand that a relationship with your husband on your wedding night is nothing more than a wonderful romantic relationship, crowning a complex of warm feelings that arise between a man and a woman. This is the tip of the iceberg, in which there is a place for compassion, sympathy, affection, and, of course, love and desire. Sexual contact with a husband is by no means an obstacle for girls, as some believe. Of course, it will entail certain physiological changes in the girl’s genitals. However, this does not mean that the wedding night will cause her unbearable and acute pain.
According to the specialist, the reason for such fears is largely due to a phenomenon that she calls “fear of the body.”
“After the wedding night,” says Heba, “a girl cannot tell others about her successful experience.” If she wants to do this, then her mother or other relatives forbid her to do so. Therefore, in the minds of girls, contact with their husband on their wedding night seems like some kind of obstacle that is difficult or even impossible to overcome. But, as I already said, the truth is radically different from these words.
From a physiological point of view, everything is also quite simple. It takes some time for muscle tissue to get used to processes that have not happened to it before. And, I assure you, there is no problem in this.
Speaking about the method that will satisfy your husband, a sexologist from Egypt conditionally divides it into two types.
“The first one can be called spiritual,” she notes. - He is represented in fulfilling the provisions of the Sunnah throughout married life. The second type is scientific. Its meaning lies in the skillful use of certain scientific techniques during the first wedding night and life together in general. The most important components of this type are the absence or elimination of fear during the first contact with the husband and certain flirtations between spouses, which guarantee the correct functioning of the genital organs during sexual contact and eliminate the occurrence of any painful sensations...
Such questions by their very presence involuntarily suggest the idea that they are a kind of indicator of the moral health of a society in which natural concerns about the beginning of marital and sexual life arise inseparably from each other. Isn’t this the key to solving many problems of Russian society, primarily the problem of demography?
https://www.islamnews.ru/news-19854.html
Sex on your wedding night according to Islam: is it obligatory?
According to the traditions of an Arab wedding, most often the bride and groom do not know each other or have met only a few times before the wedding. Naturally, they want to know more about each other. Therefore, the wedding night begins with intimate conversations. And if after the conversation the girl is still not ready for sex, then according to Islam it can happen at a later date. However, Muslim culture prescribes certain rules of conduct for the bride and groom to ensure their first night is perfect:
- As already mentioned, a man should treat his chosen one with care, surround her with care and affection in order to help overcome anxiety. Love caresses play a huge role. If the husband pays due attention to them, then gradually the fear will disappear and the girl will be ready for the first intimacy.
- A husband should not undress his wife. He is also prohibited from looking at his wife’s naked body, so as not to make her feel embarrassed. Therefore, the ideal option is for her to undress behind a screen and go to bed in her underwear.
- An Arab bride should not push away the groom on her wedding night, but should gratefully accept at least his caresses and courtship. A woman should not show indifference to her husband and demonstrate a cold attitude towards him.
- If the first wedding night coincided with the period of the menstrual cycle, then intimacy should be postponed. Among Arabs, sex during menstruation is prohibited by religion.
- According to Muslim traditions, if the bride was a virgin, the husband is obliged to spend the first seven nights after marriage with her. If she was previously married, then the husband must devote three nights to her.
If we talk about the first wedding night in Islam, it is impossible not to remember the ritual of displaying the sheets. Many people mistakenly consider this tradition obligatory. However, in fact it contradicts the Koran. The Holy Book of Muslims prohibits relatives from standing under the door of the bedroom in which the first intimacy between the newlyweds takes place. And taking out a sheet with traces of blood is a violation of Islamic etiquette. The modern Arab wedding night does without this procedure. But there is one “but”: according to Muslim canons, if the bride turns out to be not a virgin, then the husband has the right to return her to her parents. However, only he can decide what to do - forgive his wife or take him back home.
The portal www.svadbagolik.ru told how the wedding night of the Arabs goes. For newlyweds, this is an important stage that ends the wedding celebration. And how this night goes will partly determine what the relationships in the new family will be like.
The problem of women's fears associated with the onset of sexual activity has always existed, regardless of time, place and other related factors. However, if in some societies marrying a virgin is considered almost a special favor of Fortune, then in others the beginning of sexual relations has always (with rare exceptions) been and remains associated with mandatory marriage.
One of these is Arab society, in which young girls still experience fear before starting the physiological side of married life.
Therefore, it is not surprising that among the questions addressed by representatives of the fair sex to the famous Egyptian specialist in the field of marital relations, Hebe Kotb, one of the most common is the one that in one form or another concerns the problem of fear of the wedding night.
“I’m getting married soon,” writes one of the visitors to Heba Kotb’s website. “However, the first wedding night seems to me something unknown and, perhaps, even dangerous.” I am afraid of sexual contact with a man and the pain that comes as a result of it. What and how should I do to satisfy my husband and myself?
“First of all, I would like to note that your words that contact with a man brings pain are incorrect,” answers H. Kotb, a doctor of sexology and a graduate of Maimonides University (USA). - You must understand that a relationship with your husband on your wedding night is nothing more than a wonderful romantic relationship, crowning a complex of warm feelings that arise between a man and a woman. This is the tip of the iceberg, in which there is a place for compassion, sympathy, affection, and, of course, love and desire. Sexual contact with a husband is by no means an obstacle for girls, as some believe.
Of course, it will entail certain physiological changes in the girl’s genitals. However, this does not mean that the wedding night will cause her unbearable and acute pain. According to the specialist, the reason for such fears is largely due to a phenomenon that she calls “fear of the body.”
“After the wedding night,” says Heba, “a girl cannot tell others about her successful experience.” If she wants to do this, then her mother or other relatives forbid her to do so. Therefore, in the minds of girls, contact with their husband on their wedding night seems like some kind of obstacle that is difficult or even impossible to overcome. But, as I already said, the truth is radically different from these words.
From a physiological point of view, everything is also quite simple. It takes some time for muscle tissue to get used to processes that have not happened to it before. And, I assure you, there is no problem in this. Speaking about the method that will satisfy your husband, a sexologist from Egypt conditionally divides it into two types. “The first one can be called spiritual,” she notes. - He is represented in fulfilling the provisions of the Sunnah throughout married life. The second type is scientific.
Its meaning lies in the skillful use of certain scientific techniques during the first wedding night and life together in general.
The most important components of this type are the absence or elimination of fear during the first contact with the husband and certain flirtations between spouses, which guarantee the correct functioning of the genital organs during sexual contact and eliminate the occurrence of any painful sensations...
Such questions by their very presence involuntarily suggest the idea that they are a kind of indicator of the moral health of a society in which natural concerns about the beginning of marital and sexual life arise inseparably from each other. Isn’t this the key to solving many problems of Russian society, primarily the problem of demography?
Source: islamnews
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How to spend your first wedding night according to Russian traditions
Many years ago, when the newlyweds were alone after the wedding feast, they performed several traditional rituals. It was believed that thanks to this, the young family would live in prosperity and give birth to healthy offspring. On their first night together, the newlyweds were supposed to eat chicken, which served as a symbol of great fertility, and bread, which was a symbol of prosperity. Patriarchal Rus' adhered to traditions according to which the wife had to obey her husband strictly. Therefore, on their wedding night after the wedding, the young woman had to take off the groom’s boots as a sign of her submission and ask permission to go to bed with him. According to tradition, this sacrament was carried out in a bathhouse; the young people made a bed from logs, which symbolized numerous offspring.
Over the years, these rules have lost their force and modern society prefers more comfortable conditions. Today's lovers go on board a beautiful ship, rent a luxurious hotel room, retire to a country cottage or a new apartment. It all depends on their capabilities and flight of fancy. A short trip or just a change of scenery will be beneficial and will make you feel like family life has begun.
Maiden's honor
In some Muslim countries, the custom of standing outside the bedroom door, contrary to the Koran, is practiced in order to make sure that the bride is innocent. This incorrect habit, as well as the tradition of displaying a sheet with traces of maiden honor, equally violates Islamic etiquette and does not comply with Sharia.
Everything related to issues related to the purity of a girl is a personal matter for the young, and only the husband can make decisions regarding her fate in the event that the fact of her having a premarital affair is revealed. At best, the husband will forgive his wife and not tell anyone about what happened; at worst, he will return her to the parental home in shame.
If on the first night of marriage the bride turns out to be chaste, then the man will be obliged to share the bed with her for the next seven days.
There are contraindications, consultation with a specialist is required.
The problem of women's fears associated with the onset of sexual activity has always existed, regardless of time, place and other related factors. However, if in some societies marrying a virgin is considered almost a special favor of Fortune, then in others the beginning of sexual relations has always (with rare exceptions) been and remains associated with mandatory marriage. One of these is Arab society, in which young girls still experience fear before starting the physiological side of married life. Therefore, it is not surprising that among the questions addressed by representatives of the fair sex to the famous Egyptian specialist in the field of marital relations, Hebe Kotb, one of the most common is the one that in one form or another concerns the problem of fear of the wedding night.
“I’m getting married soon,” writes one of the visitors to Heba Kotb’s website. “However, the first wedding night seems to me something unknown and, perhaps, even dangerous.” I am afraid of sexual contact with a man and the pain that comes as a result of it. What and how should I do to satisfy my husband and myself?
“First of all, I would like to note that your words that contact with a man brings pain are incorrect,” answers H. Kotb, a doctor of sexology and a graduate of Maimonides University (USA). - You must understand that a relationship with your husband on your wedding night is nothing more than a wonderful romantic relationship, crowning a complex of warm feelings that arise between a man and a woman. This is the tip of the iceberg, in which there is a place for compassion, sympathy, affection, and, of course, love and desire. Sexual contact with a husband is by no means an obstacle for girls, as some believe. Of course, it will entail certain physiological changes in the girl’s genitals. However, this does not mean that the wedding night will cause her unbearable and acute pain.
According to the specialist, the reason for such fears is largely due to a phenomenon that she calls “fear of the body.”
“After the wedding night,” says Heba, “a girl cannot tell others about her successful experience.” If she wants to do this, then her mother or other relatives forbid her to do so. Therefore, in the minds of girls, contact with their husband on their wedding night seems like some kind of obstacle that is difficult or even impossible to overcome. But, as I already said, the truth is radically different from these words.
From a physiological point of view, everything is also quite simple. It takes some time for muscle tissue to get used to processes that have not happened to it before. And, I assure you, there is no problem in this.
Speaking about the method that will satisfy your husband, a sexologist from Egypt conditionally divides it into two types.
“The first one can be called spiritual,” she notes. - He is represented in fulfilling the provisions of the Sunnah throughout married life. The second type is scientific. Its meaning lies in the skillful use of certain scientific techniques during the first wedding night and life together in general. The most important components of this type are the absence or elimination of fear during the first contact with the husband and certain flirtations between spouses, which guarantee the correct functioning of the genital organs during sexual contact and eliminate the occurrence of any painful sensations...
Such questions by their very presence involuntarily suggest the idea that they are a kind of indicator of the moral health of a society in which natural concerns about the beginning of marital and sexual life arise inseparably from each other. Isn’t this the key to solving many problems of Russian society, primarily the problem of demography?
01.02.2017
Source islamnews
Commentary by sexologist O.V. Sabantsev
The problem of defloration is relevant today, despite the abundance, I would even say excess, of information about sexual life. In fact, due to the peculiarities of mentality, upbringing and other reasons, girls have a fear of pain when inserting the penis.
It is this fear that leads to a reflex spasm of the muscles at the entrance to the vagina, and the girl actually experiences pain, thereby confirming her fears.
The hymen contains minimal nerve endings and blood vessels.
As a result, in some cases, with skillful preparation, both on the part of the sexual partner and the psychological and physiological readiness of the girl herself, pain not only does not occur, but pleasant sensations appear, not to mention the fact that there may be no bleeding.
Therefore, pain during defloration is mainly associated with the very fear of this pain.
Urologist-andrologist, sexologist Oleg Valentinovich Sabantsev.
Sabantsev Oleg Valentinovich
Doctor:
urologist-andrologist, sexologist, member of the European Society for Sexual Medicine, member of the Professional Association of Andrologists of Russia
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