Organizing a wedding celebration is a rather complex process that requires not only effort and time, but also significant financial investments. Everyone who is faced with wedding preparations is sure to ask the question: “Who should pay for the wedding?” There is no single rule for everyone, since every wedding is unique. The Svadebka.ws portal team will tell you about possible and most popular options for resolving a financial issue.
Wedding expenses: who should pay for what?
There are no special traditions regulating who should pay for what in the process of preparing for a wedding.
According to ancient Russian traditions, it was believed that the wedding feast should be paid for by the groom's family, because the parents had already prepared a dowry for the bride, which they began to collect for the girl, starting from birth.
In some cultures, it was believed that the bride's parents should pay for the wedding, since the groom would support her for the rest of her life.
In Ukraine, there is still a tradition in some places according to which the groom must buy the bride a dress, shoes and a veil, and the remaining expenses are divided in half between the families.
Of course, earlier, when the age of the bride and groom was 15-16 years, or even less, parents paid exclusively. And it was enough for families to agree on who would pay for what. In this matter, agreement has always been a priority over all traditions. If the family of one of the future spouses was much richer than the second family, then by common agreement they could take on larger expenses.
Nowadays, when more and more often already established young people who work and even have savings are getting married, the tradition of paying for the wedding entirely by parents is no longer so relevant. Moreover, future spouses prefer to pay for the wedding themselves, while having every moral right to arrange it in the way they see fit, and to invite only those guests whom they really want to see.
Today, wedding expenses can be distributed in different ways.
The tradition of parents paying for the wedding entirely is no longer so relevant.
Do I need to take out a loan?
The idea of taking out a loan and paying for a wedding looks very attractive, but having decided to take such a step, young people should know for sure that they can then repay the loan without any problems and not create financial problems for themselves. It is ideal when the required amount is set aside in advance, so the best option would be to save up funds. With existing finances, the questions: what does the groom buy for the wedding and what does the bride buy for the wedding are much easier to solve.
But, of course, the money issue should not ruin the holiday for the newlyweds. And even the most modest wedding will be a real fairy tale if the bride and groom truly love each other.
Parents of the bride and groom pay for the wedding
This option occurs when the bride and groom are very young, do not have savings and the ability to pay for the celebration.
Naturally, in this case, you can have a very modest wedding. However, often the parents themselves insist on a grand celebration if they have the opportunity to pay for the banquet.
Undoubtedly, there are also cases when young people want to pay for the wedding themselves, but parents consider themselves obligated to take full responsibility for the financial part of organizing the event, and most importantly, they have such an opportunity.
Expenses between the parents of the newlyweds can be divided exactly in half or in proportion to the number of guests invited to the wedding. There are cases when the number of relatives and friends of the bride significantly exceeds the number of guests from the groom, and vice versa.
Editorial opinion
The Wedding Blog team believes that independence is more important than a Vera Wang dress or a luxurious event worthy of publication in a glossy magazine. Therefore, to the question “Who pays for the wedding?” we answer like this - bride and groom. Have a holiday that you can afford, even if it is modest. Don’t take on debt, don’t start a family with someone else’s money, do everything yourself. You will be calm and proud of yourself, you will see. And ask your guests to donate money, this will cover part of the expenses. We wish you successful preparation!
Photo by Nikol Bodnarova Photography
The bride and groom pay for the wedding
If the future spouses are already confident enough to stand on their own two feet and earn good money, they prefer to take on all expenses themselves. Just like in the first option, they either divide the costs equally or in proportion to the number of guests.
If parents still insist on providing at least minimal assistance, then they can, for example, pay for the bride’s dress and the groom’s suit. Often the bride's parents pay for her wedding dress as a gift.
Parents always have the opportunity to give money at a festive banquet or even give the newlyweds an apartment and a car. Such a gift will undoubtedly be much more significant than all the wedding expenses.
Payment for young people
If the future husband and wife earn money themselves and are well established, they prefer to bear the costs themselves. Then they either divide them in half, or based on the number of guests. When parents actively ask for help, they may pay for a dress for the bride or an outfit for the groom. Most often, the bride's parents pay for the dress as a gift. Parents can always give money in a restaurant or hand over the keys to an apartment or car. This gift is without a doubt much more significant than all other expenses.
The parents of both spouses and the bride and groom pay for the wedding
If you have chosen this option, but cannot agree on who exactly should pay for what, use the European model for the distribution of wedding expenses, which we have adapted to our realities.
Wedding expenses between parents, bride and groom are distributed as follows:
- wedding ring for the groom;
- accommodation of parents, relatives and friends if they came from another city;
- wedding gifts for the groom's parents.
The bride's parents pay:
- decoration of the banquet hall;
- banquet;
- services of presenter, artists, photographer and videographer;
- bride's dress;
- bridesmaids' dresses (if provided);
- wedding procession;
- wedding invitations.
- engagement and wedding ring for the bride;
- state registration of marriage and church wedding (if provided);
- a hotel room where the newlyweds will spend their wedding night;
- the bride's bouquet;
- flowers to decorate a wedding banquet;
- bridesmaids' bouquets (if provided);
- a boutonniere for yourself;
- boutonnieres for the groom's friends, as well as other accessories if they are provided for by the wedding style (special ties, gloves or hats);
- Honeymoon.
Basic wedding expenses
The lion's share of wedding expenses is the banquet and all the accompanying services:
- wedding menu and cake;
- decoration of the hall;
- musicians and show program;
- toastmaster or presenter.
The most common payment option for a wedding menu is for each party to pay for its invited guests. This will be as fair as possible, because one of the parties may have twice as many friends and relatives, and the other party is not obliged to pay for them. But it’s best to discuss the list of guests at a family council and try to invite an equal number, regardless of who is paying for the wedding. This way both guests and heroes of the occasion will feel most comfortable.
The remaining expenses associated with the banquet can be divided equally. The same applies to payment for the photographer and videographer. If the financial capabilities of the bride and groom allow them to fully pay for the shooting costs, then the wedding disc will later become an excellent gift for the older generation.
The bride pays for the wedding
It may be quite possible that at the time of marriage the bride turns out to be more financially wealthy than the groom, or has savings. Although, from experience, this happens quite rarely. More often than not, the father of the bride bears all the costs associated with organizing the wedding celebration.
As you can see, there are many options. Typically, issues of distribution of expenses are usually discussed on the day of engagement, when the future spouses officially declare their intention to get married. Only thanks to a clear agreement even before the start of organizing the wedding, can you come to a single decision about who will pay for what. At the same time, it is important to ensure that neither party feels awkward or incurs unaffordable expenses.
Who pays for what at a wedding in Russia
In ancient Rus', it was customary that the wedding feast was paid for by the groom’s side, because when girls got married, they had a rich dowry with them, which their parents collected for them from birth. Nowadays, the approach to wedding expenses has changed significantly. And disputes often arise about who will pay for what at the wedding. The portal Svadbaholik.ru offers to understand this difficult issue.
What does the groom pay for at a wedding, and what does the bride pay for?
Even at the initial stage of preparation for the celebration, it is worth stipulating what the groom pays for and what the bride pays for at the wedding. Especially if the young people do not live together and, as such, do not yet have a common budget. Pay special attention to the expenses parents spend on organizing the event. Should you accept help? Will mothers, relying on the investment of their own funds, begin to try to make the evening to their liking and look for where to save money on the wedding, not paying attention to your preferences and opinions?
There are two ways to pay for wedding expenses: in half or based on the number of guests. So, who pays for what and who pays at the wedding.
Expenses on the part of the bride:
- organizing a bachelorette party;
- wedding look: dress, shoes, accessories;
- services of a makeup artist, hairdresser, manicurist;
- gifts for parents and close relatives of the groom;
- ransom paraphernalia;
- treats before going to painting;
- decorations for a girl’s apartment;
- gift for the groom (if desired).
Expenses on the part of the groom:
- organizing a bachelor party;
- buying wedding rings;
- wedding look: suit, shoes;
- alcohol and sweets for ransom;
- payment of the state fee when submitting an application to the registry office;
- boutonnieres for yourself and the witness;
- gift for the bride (if desired);
- gifts for the bride's parents;
- wedding procession and car decorations;
- a hotel room or rented apartment for the first married night (if there is no separate housing).
The question of who should buy a bridal bouquet for a wedding often becomes controversial. It is logical that the groom should pay for the flowers, but there are times when girls choose too expensive bouquets (in the groom’s opinion) or the bride doubts that her beloved will choose a suitable flower arrangement. In such situations, the bride can pay for the bouquet herself. Again, this point should be discussed in advance.
Joint expenses:
- invitations;
- wedding contractors: host, photographer, videographer, decorator, artists, etc.;
- a place to stay overnight for guests coming from far away (if there are no free places in the homes of the newlyweds);
- rent of a banquet hall;
- wedding banquet;
- a loaf for meeting newlyweds after the registry office;
- birthday cake;
- gifts for participation in games and competitions;
- organization and holding of the 2nd wedding day;
- Honeymoon.
Now you know who should pay for the wedding and at what stage of preparation. To avoid unnecessary expenses, be sure to calculate the amount you are willing to pay. This is especially true for weddings on a modest budget. It is important that both parties agree on the expected amount. After all, if one side wants a celebration on a grand scale, and the other cannot afford it, the beginning of family life can begin with mutual reproaches and insults from both lovers and their parents.
Witness expenses
It is the responsibility of the bridesmaid to purchase/make the necessary posters and small items for ransom tasks, directly as a gift to the newlyweds.
The witness, as a rule, helps the groom pay for food and drinks at the ransom. In some regions, the groom's friend buys the bridesmaid a small bouquet. And, of course, don’t forget about the main gift for a young family.
Who pays for the bachelorette party before the wedding?
You can't just sit at home alone on your last single evening. The soul requires a holiday, and a holiday requires additional expenses. But, having watched enough American films, many Russian brides believe that bachelorette and bachelor parties should be organized and paid for by none other than friends. But is this really so?
First of all, when thinking about parties, lovers should budget for the wedding. After all, when asked who pays for the bachelorette party before the wedding, you should answer yourself honestly: initially it is better to rely only on your financial capabilities.
If you spent a lot of money on the eve of the celebration, but don’t want to miss the opportunity to have a bachelorette party, you should talk frankly with your friends. And here there are several options for getting out of the situation.
How to pay for a party:
- The amount is divided in half among all the girls, including the bride.
- The bride pays for the alcohol (or bar tab), and all appetizers are for each person.
- Pay half of the expenses, the second is divided between girlfriends.
Speaking of who, according to etiquette, pays for the bachelorette party before the wedding, then, of course, the bride. After all, this is her holiday, and she invites guests to it. But if your friends really are like that, they will definitely understand and accept your conditions. If you encounter negative reactions to your proposal, it is better to reduce the bachelorette party to tea drinking at home with interesting games or abandon the party altogether.
How much and who pays for the wedding
To avoid disputes and conflicts on this matter, it would be appropriate to distribute expenses in accordance with long-established traditions. As elsewhere, in European countries parents provide financial assistance in organizing the wedding of their children. Although lately lovers have been striving to arrange weddings on their own, using bank loans. But still, most families consider it their duty to organize a luxurious wedding for their children, and sometimes they decide who pays for the wedding without their participation. And that's great. What will each family have to spend on?
The bride's parents are the ones who pay the most for the wedding, as is customary:
- Wedding banquet.
- Daughter's wedding dress and accessories.
- Dowry.
- Invitations are ordered and sent out.
- Order boarding cards and napkins.
- Photo and video shooting services are paid for.
- Toastmaster services, catering, florist salons, decorating the hall, designers.
- If the bridesmaids are dressed in identical dresses, then the bride's family pays for both their outfits and the dress for the girl carrying the train, rings, and flowers.
- The costs of transportation and parking also fall on the person paying for the wedding.
Bride's image
The wedding expenses that come to mind first are the wedding dress and items to create the overall image of the bride. The hero of the occasion should look simply magnificent at the holiday. The dress can be bought or rented. The cost of the outfit will be from 10 to 100 thousand rubles, depending on the model.
Shoes can be found quite inexpensively. Some brides prefer beautiful heeled pumps rather than special wedding shoes. Hair and makeup will cost a maximum of 10 thousand rubles. In a budget salon you can get a manicure, pedicure, hairstyle and makeup for 5 thousand rubles.
