Jokes about weddings

Funny jokes about an engagement ring

Ring, ring, ring

“I don’t want to marry a cheapskate like you!” Here, take your ring! -Where is the box?

Two friends met. - Imagine, my fiancée returned my ring and is marrying someone else! I want to know where he lives! - For what? Do you really want to challenge him to a duel? Or maybe just spank him? - What you! What you! I just want to sell him a ring...

- Tell me, Edik, why are the initials “OM” engraved on the ring that you gave me, if I am Vera Pavlovna? - What are you saying? "O.M."? Oh yeah... it means VERY CUTE.

“We declared our engagement void, so my attitude towards Charlie changed. - But you continue to wear the ring he gave you? — My attitude towards the ring remains the same!

Usually girls dream of a wedding and a white dress since childhood, but men resist.

Jokes about how women lead men to the question of marriage

Subtle hints from the bride

“When my fiancé announced that he was giving up our engagement,” the young girl tells her friend, “I took it with a smile and extended my hand to him.” It was then that he really regretted that he had insisted that I learn judo techniques. Next week, it seems, he will be discharged from the hospital...

- Well, how are things going with Vasya? - It’s normal: we only quarrel over trifles. I want to be at a wedding in a veil decorated with a steel chain, but he doesn’t want to... get married at all.

- Oh, how I don’t want to get married,

- What's your name?

- No, not yet

- Darling, why do you constantly call me not by my first name, but by my last name?

- I want the same one for myself.

If a woman loves you, be careful: the matter may end in a registry office.

Men hesitate to get married for a long time - jokes about what they think about this

Groom's look

“Yesterday I confessed to my fiancée all my past sins.” - So what? - I don’t understand anything... the wedding is in a week!

- Senya, why are you so sad? - Tomorrow my bride is getting married... - What are you saying?! And for whom? - For me…

Bride: - Will you love me when we get married? Groom: - I think so: I have always been attracted to married women!

- Listen, how did it come to your mind to marry Yulka? - I don’t know myself. She and I were sitting in a cafe one day, there was nothing to talk about, terrible boredom, well, that’s what I came up with...

The bride and groom are discussing their future life together. - Promise me, dear, that you will quit smoking. - Yes, my love. - And with drinking too? - Yes Dear. — And will you stop going to the club in the evenings? - This is all? -What else are you going to get involved with? - Happy marriage.

- Darling, if you kiss me again, I will be yours all my life! - Oh, thanks for the warning!..

- Will you always be faithful to me? And won't you look at the other one? - Calm down. You are my bride and will remain so forever...

The dentist’s daughter asks her boyfriend: “Well, dear, did you go to your father for permission for our wedding?” “No,” answered the modest fellow, “every time I go into his office, my nerves let me down.” Today I let him pull out another tooth from me.

After a night of love. She: - Darling, are we getting married? He: - Let's call you.

I got married, one might say, successfully. Every morning he serves coffee in bed! And how does she manage to find me in this big city?!

Wedding jokes

The bride says to the groom: “After the wedding, I will allow you to kiss me where no one has kissed me before.”
- And where is it? - asks the groom. - In Hawaii. *** – My
son asks for your daughter’s hand in marriage.
– Doesn’t he have his own hand?! - Eat. But she’s already tired... ***
Several gopniks are standing near One is talking on his cell phone: “No, well, why are you talking bullshit to me here?!” What the f*ck am I?! Damn your brains! In short, fucking yes or no? Well, that's all!.. He puts down the phone and says: - Guys, I'm getting married!

a man comes to work a week after (his) wedding: Well, friends, of course, ask: “Well, how did you spend your honeymoon?”: And he told them: - What is a honeymoon: - And this is if you imagine family life as a barrel of shit, then there is a small layer of honey on top - this is the honeymoon: - Ah, I see..: Only I, it seems, opened the barrel on the other side.
*** In
our company, two employees got married on the same day.
The HR department posted a congratulation at the entrance: “Congratulations to Peter and Volodya on their legal marriage...”. *** On
the eve of the wedding: “Daughter, don’t marry Vasya!
Well, look at him - stooped, lame, wearing glasses...” “And I, mother, don’t need a handsome man.” “That’s not what I’m talking about. The poor guy already got enough from life..” *** A
tipsy toastmaster at a wedding: “Love each other fiercely... Everyone: “Vasya, you’ve had enough!”
- And I say love each other, that’s how it ends... *** From
love to hate there is only one step, but it must be done proudly, in a tailcoat, to the Mendelssohn march.
*** the village
guy is instructed by the priest: “In family life, you should always have love and harmony.”
And in bed there should be harmony between you! After the wedding night, the priest asks: “Well, was everything okay?” - Yes! Everything was going wrong, but by morning I finally threw away the accordion! *** with
vodka.
*** I
bought an expensive dress for my wedding.
Mom said: “God forbid, you won’t wear it!” Now I have to get married for the seventh time. *** When
the bride throws a bouquet, and a crowd of girls tries to catch it, the guys on the sidelines frantically think: “If only it weren’t mine, if only it weren’t mine!”
» *** - Will you
come to my wedding?
- Yeah why not. - Great, the issue with the groom is resolved. *** - I
don’t want to marry such a cheapskate like you!
Here, take your ring! -Where is the box? *** From
the wedding: - Do you agree to take this woman as your wife?
- No. - And this one? *** S
vadba is a celebration of the confiscation of personal property.
*** If
you look at a girl for a long time, you can see how she gets married.
*** It's a
Ukrainian wedding.
On Smoke Day, a drunken groom is sleeping at the table, a friend comes up to him and says: “Mykola, wake up, you’re at a wedding.” Groom: - Hic... Whose wedding? - Yes, at your wedding! You got married today. - I got married?! And who is she? - Yes, we didn’t really see her. You met her and got married three days later. -What's her name? - Yes, we don’t remember, what about Galya, what about Polina... Groom (grabbing his head): - Chipolinnno?!.. *** About
the announcement: “I dance and sing at weddings.
Groom". *** Phrases
that, if uttered at a wedding, will lead to a fight: 1) I am sincerely happy, Kolyan, for you and for this chick.
2) Kolyan, make everything beautiful tonight, like yesterday at the bachelor party. 3) Stuffed cabbage rolls are shit! 4) And even if all this is in the air, we are still happy for you. 5) Hello, we are your neighbors from below. Turn the music down please. 6) I’ve known the bride for a long time, she has a great tattoo on her butt. 7) Excuse me, is it the bride’s breasts or belly? *** Three
after the wedding.
A husband finds his young wife in tears in the kitchen. - What happened, dear? “I’ve been boiling this egg for two hours now, and it’s still hard!” *** most
common phrase on the first wedding night: - And here it’s only 500 rubles!
And they are also called friends!.. *** - With
ena, why are you so sad?
- Tomorrow my bride is getting married... - What are you saying?! And for whom? - For me... *** hare
and the hare are getting divorced.
- What is the reason? - She's oblique! “Didn’t you see this before the wedding?” “I saw it, but then I thought it was her making eyes at me!” *** - I'm
getting married tomorrow.
- For love? — Her dad said: “Anyway!” Conversation between
wedding planners: - You can’t put tables in a “P” shape.
- Why? — Because after the third toast for the guests it’s already a labyrinth. *** The man
comes to work after his wedding.
Colleagues: - So, how was your wedding night? - I do not remember! I lost consciousness after she peeled off my eyelashes. *** -
Admit it, daughter, did you and Vitalik have sex before your wedding?
- Well, now I can admit, I confess, it happened twice... - Well, what about now? - Pulled yourself together: it’s been three years, no, no! *** -
How do you feel as a newlywed? - Nightmarish! You can't drink, you can't smoke, you can't swear! - Yes, melancholy! “And she forbade me to be sad!”

*** N

and at the dog handlers’ wedding, a drunken accordion player played a Shar Pei for two hours... ***
The
advantage of a marriage contract is that over the years of hard labor together, words of declaration of love can be reclassified as “confession.”

<<More jokes about the Wedding Funny congratulations on the Wedding

Cool wedding photos

Jokes about love

Jokes about the registry office and registry office employees

Video of funny falls at weddings

No matter how the men resist, the wedding will take place under any conditions

Anecdotes confirming the inevitability of this happy day

At a bachelor party on the eve of the wedding, the horseman got drunk and ended up in a sobering-up station. For the first time, on the morning of the wedding day, the bride had to bathe the groom.

– I declare you husband and wife! - As a husband? You said let's go to the cinema!

The wedding cortege must drive at the maximum speed limit so that the police with flashing lights will follow in pursuit - which makes the cortege even more beautiful and festive.

The groom ran away from the wedding, but the road turned out to be a ring road, and he ran back.

Many people know that in India, when getting married, the bride draws a red dot on her forehead. But few people know that the groom is given a sniper rifle for his wedding. And both are faithful to each other until the grave.

Seeing the number of my friends in contact, my mother said: “No, son, we can’t pull off such a wedding!”

According to modern concepts, if the bride is rich, then it does not matter what gender she is.

The boys stare at the newlyweds leaving the church.

“Let's scare them,” one suggests.

- I myself! — Another person declares, approaches the newly-made spouse and says:

- Great choice, dad!

Wedding jokes

A wedding is a fun holiday where you definitely can’t do without jokes. But sometimes it happens that at the most crucial moment one of the guests is completely unable to find suitable, witty words. A wedding is a fun holiday where you definitely can’t do without jokes. But sometimes it happens that at the most crucial moment one of the guests is completely unable to find suitable, witty words. This puts both guests and young people in an awkward position. Therefore, it is better to prepare the words in advance, without counting on impromptu. A few days or even weeks before the planned event, you can begin to notice funny phrases, jokes, proverbs or aphorisms; they can help you in the future.

For those who are not married

¦ You have a difficult task with one unknown: getting married. ¦ Don’t get acquainted with an unmarried man - since he hasn’t married anyone yet, it means he won’t marry you! Don’t get acquainted with a widower - he drove one wife into a coffin, and there’s no way you can get away! Don’t date a divorced person—one has divorced, and she will divorce you! Meet a married man - he loves his wife, and he will love you! ¦ Do you want to marry me? Sorry, I won't marry you, but I approve of your taste. ¦ If you are upset that your loved one does not believe in hell, do not despair - he will believe in it the same day he marries you.

For those who are not married

¦ Get down on your knee in front of a woman - and you will immediately grow in her eyes. ¦ You can live without a wife, but it is impossible to live without the hope that someday you will get married. ¦ A man who is lucky in love is a bachelor. ¦ You have to look after a woman, woo her, because you can’t take her with beautiful legs. ¦ One day, an accident occurred on the train: a man fell from the top bunk and woke up in the middle of his honeymoon. ¦ You need to marry an orphan! ¦ A bachelor is a person who can afford to talk in his sleep.

ABOUT MATCHLOCKING

¦ Don't choose brides, choose a matchmaker! ¦ They didn’t come to sit, but with a kind word. ¦ We didn’t come to visit, but to raise a feast. ¦ You have the goods, and we have the merchant (groom). ¦ The merchant is unmarried to the goods. “We will find an overseas merchant for your goods. ¦ Thank you for love, matchmaker; but now we don’t want to give the girls away (refusal). ¦ Our goods are not for sale, they are not ripe. “We accept bread and salt from good people, and a young man to boot.

TO THE GROOM

¦ For a single person - oh-oh, but for a married person: ah-ah! ¦ The single man groans, the married man gasps. ¦ I'm single and crazy. Single - half a person. ¦ A single person thinks a lot, but a married person thinks even more. ¦ Neither go around nor go around the betrothed. You can’t beat your betrothed even with a horse (and on crooked shafts). ¦ Death and wife are destined by God. “God is free and the wife is free, if she has taken her will. ¦ Sleep alone - and the blanket is not warm. “God help the single man, but the mistress will help the married man.” ¦ Having picked a bride, people don’t ask. ¦ Don’t buy a horse from a priest, don’t take a daughter from a widow! ¦ Don’t ride on a fast horse! ¦ Getting married is not putting on bast shoes. ¦ You get married once, and you cry forever. “You won’t marry for long, but God will punish you and tell you to live long.” ¦ Get married - change. To marry is to be reborn. ¦ Get mad first, and then get married. ¦ Getting married isn't all fun. I got married and settled for life. ¦ Married in a hurry and for a long time. ¦ Getting married at eighteen means paying taxes. ¦ Getting married means don’t be lazy: even if you don’t feel like it, get up! ¦ Don’t repent - getting up early and getting married young. It’s too early for a young man to get married, but too late for an old one. ¦ Not every groom (gets married) who gets married. ¦ A thin groom makes a match - he shows the way to the good. ¦ The groom takes his place and another one takes his place. “They don’t give away the good ones, but you don’t want to take the bad ones. ¦ And I would be glad to get married, but there is no one to take (but no one is coming). “If you take a good wife, you’ll know a lot, but you can’t show off a bad one to people.” ¦ Take a good one - people will know a lot.

Take a noble one - he doesn’t dare bother with work. If you take a smart one, you won’t be able to say a word. To take a bad one is a shame to show it to people. Take it blindly and lose everything. Take the old one and fuss with it often. If you take a poor one, you have nothing to support it with.

¦ And whoever wants to choose according to his liking, then he will never be married, but he must ask good people. ¦ To sort out many brides - a married man cannot live like that forever. “Don’t forge me, mother, to a stone chamber, chain me, mother, to a girl’s bed!” ¦ Rich brides - yes until the crown. Believe the dowry after the wedding! ¦ Take a rich bride, think about how to feed your family. “Marriage is not a race, you’ll be in time. ¦ He got married in such a way that he marveled at himself. ¦ You're wooing, you're wooing, but if you oversleep, you'll come to your senses. ¦ I got married and broke off on ice. ¦ - What fun? - Yes, I’ll get married. - Why did you hang your head? - Yes, I got married. ¦ - Why is it red? - I want to get married. - Why are you pale? - Yes, I got married. ¦ Drink, drink, there’s a penny at the bottom, but if you drink to the bottom, you’ll find a penny. ¦ One got married - saw the world; another got married and disappeared completely. ¦ Getting married is a disaster, not marrying is a disaster; The third problem is that they won’t give it for me. What am I to be a father-in-law if I have nothing to eat? ¦ You can’t please a woman’s temperament. ¦ The time will come, you will begin to step on the girl’s foot. ¦ The betrothed is crazy. Betrothed, mummer - bewitched. ¦ I fell in love like soot hit my face. ¦ I fell in love like a mouse fell into a box. ¦ I fell in love like a face in a puddle. “I wouldn’t drink, I wouldn’t eat, I’d still look at my sweetheart. ¦ You can’t get enough of women’s whims (whims). ¦ It’s better to get married than to drag your feet. ¦ I wasn’t born to marry someone bad, ¦ Anyone who wants to get married can’t sleep at night. ¦ Well done, he gets married, but in his sleep he is delusional: he shouldn’t pay back. ¦ The groom has a lot on his mind. You never know what comes to the groom’s mind. ¦ I don’t want to hit my red wife into a wall. ¦ There is a lot to choose - you won’t be married. ¦ A wife is not a bast shoe: you can’t kick it off your feet. ¦ An eternal matter (marriage), not an hourly one. ¦ He got married soon, but for a long time. ¦ He doesn’t look at what he is like, but looks at what she is like. ¦ Do not break the unripe rowan; Don’t woo (don’t take) a girl without knowing. ¦ When going to war, pray; when going to sea, pray twice as much; If you want to get married, pray three times. ¦ Don’t take a dowry, take a sweet girl. ¦ To woo a daughter is to drag after my mother. ¦ With a good husband, there is no cold in winter. ¦ Better with a stick or twig than with an unfaithful companion. ¦ One is joyful with his wife, the other is sorrow. “Don’t look at other people’s wives, but look after your own. ¦ Don’t praise your wife with your body, but praise your wife with your deed! ¦ Every husband has his own wife dearer. His own wife is her own beauty. ¦ Lord, have mercy on my mother-in-law and my wife: but I myself will somehow live. ¦ Without a wife it’s like without a hat. ¦ The husband loves his wife who is rich, and his mother-in-law who is overweight. ¦ It is better not to take a rich wife than to have her husband. You can’t live on your wife’s wealth for a century. “Your wife’s goods will not get you into the house. What's the point of a cow, if only my wife were healthy. “He beat his wife for a day, he cried for a year. “Don’t tell your wife every truth!” An honest husband only deceives his wife. ¦ Three friends: father, mother, and faithful wife. ¦ A smart wife is like a beggar (she will save everything). A bad wife will make you old, but a good wife will make you younger. “I’ll think about it with the pillow, and then I’ll ask my wife. ¦ It’s a bad thing if the wife didn’t order.. ¦ The husband in the house is like the head (cross) on the church. “The will even spoils a good wife. ¦ Loving your wife means holding a thunderstorm. ¦ The morning is wiser than the evening, the husband’s wife is more distant. ¦ The wife pleases - she plans evil things. “I sinned before the Lord that people married me. The first wife is from God, the second is from man, the third is from the devil.

TO THE YOUNG HUSBAND

¦ Try to please your mother-in-law - it’s easier to please your wife! ¦ On your honeymoon, you won’t be able to do... anything without difficulty. ¦ A persistent husband will always achieve what his wife wants... ¦ Even a tie gets in the way of a bad groom... ¦ If you want to live a simpler life, remember your mother-in-law’s birthday! ¦ Remember! Every woman can make three things out of nothing: a salad, a skirt and a quarrel. Prevent the latter in time! ¦ Our men are still capable of desperate, reckless acts - they sometimes marry women! ¦ Rely on the stork, but don’t make a mistake yourself! ¦ Don’t go anywhere without your wife, only to your mother-in-law’s for pancakes! ¦ Called yourself a husband - cook dinner for your wife! ¦ Now you have a new profession - the smith of your own happiness! ¦ I decided to get married - look at my mother-in-law! (Maybe you'll change your mind). ¦ Now all your salary will be spent on the little things in life. ¦ If your wife starts singing loudly, quickly go out onto the balcony so that no one thinks that you are beating her. ¦ Whom you married - it serves you right! ¦ Keep your feet warm and your wife strict! ¦ Teach your wife to play cards to win back her salary. ¦ Protects the married. There’s no point in blaming your wife if you have horns yourself!

BRIDE

¦ Every bride is born for her groom. For whom the bride is suitable, the bride will be born. ¦ The girl is red before marriage. ¦ May God grant you to stand under a golden crown, buy a house, and have children (wish to the bride). ¦ It’s sickening without a sweetheart, but with an unkind one it’s even more sickening. ¦ In the girls there is a lot of grief; married - two arrived. ¦ Mother Praskovea, send the groom quickly! “Our girls got scared, they all rushed to get married. “The women are repenting, and the girls are getting married. ¦ If you don’t find a boy, you’ll marry a stump. Even for an ox, as long as it’s not in the house. ¦ And a large dowry will not make a husband. ¦ Do not live with a dowry, but live with what is given by God. ¦ Don’t cry, girl, that they give for a guy: he should cry that he is in trouble. I don’t ask for anything woven or abusive, but for a mother’s blessing. ¦ Don’t worry about getting married: when your husband starts beating you, then you’ll cry. ¦ They don’t give you away, but they take you in marriage. ¦ The bride has a hundred and one suitors, but she will only get one. ¦ We were wooing a thirty-one-year-old girl, and she wanted one. It doesn't matter if she gets married; It's a hell of a time (he'll get pumped up). ¦ Then the girl can’t sit, what should she wear with the boys? “There are many suitors, but no betrothed. “The girls say: we have our own free will to walk; the pullets say: our husbands don’t tell us to. ¦ The crown will brighten up the girl and well done. ¦ My daughter got married, so prepare the paintings (for the parents). ¦ It’s time to take the goat to auction (it’s time for the girl to get married). “Then the girl will be born when she is fit to marry. ¦ She should tell her fortune in front of the mirror (it’s time to get married). ¦ A girl’s no is not a refusal. There is nothing more expensive to eat than girlish food. ¦ The groom goes to the courtyard, and the hoop is on the table. ¦ A good bride is a thin wife. The girl is not a wife: there is more than one breed. Girlfriends braid their hair for an hour, and a matchmaker for a century. ¦ The dress is on the garden bed, and the fool (freak) is on his arm. ¦ The dowry is in the chest, and the freak is on the arm. ¦ A husband is not a shoe; you can’t kick him off his feet. “Need will reach a good husband. There is no such thing, you will marry anyone. “One is not good, the other is not handsome, look at yourself, what are you like? ¦ Don’t drink water off your face, if only you could bake pies. ¦ Even if I didn’t like to love, I would look more often. ¦ They will take a closer look at the beauty, but they won’t sip the cabbage soup. ¦ Don’t worry, beautiful one, what a drunkard you got: if he beats you, it’s not a cart, but his will. ¦ If you take a drunkard, he will stealthily buy wine. Wow, how about getting married? ¦ They don’t take their own grooms, but I don’t want to marry someone else. “I don’t want to marry a bad guy, but there’s nowhere to get a good one. “Don’t sigh heavily, we won’t give you too far!” ¦ A dowryless person is a foolish person: what is, is what it is. ¦ If you like it, so to the crown, if you don’t like it, to your father. It’s a sin to cover up with a crown. I was down the aisle - and that was the end of it. ¦ From the evening a girl, from midnight a pullet, and at dawn a mistress. ¦ Less a girl, more a young woman. ¦ They will put it under someone else’s scarf and give it a different name. ¦ Matched and sold. ¦ Get married - keep your eyes peeled. ¦ Do not boast about being married on the third day, but boast about the third year! ¦ A good wife is fun, and a thin one is an evil potion. ¦ One wife cries from pity, the other from flattery. ¦ Everyone in the family is sleeping, but the daughter-in-law is told to grind. ¦ Daughter-in-law, stop grinding! Relax, ceilings (says mother-in-law). ¦ Even if the daughter-in-law is a fool, if only the fire would blow out earlier. ¦ Not the happy one that is with the father, but the happy one that is with the husband. ¦ In a hurry, like a priest getting married. ¦ With a dear one, it will appear in an hour. With a good wife, grief is half grief, but joy is doubly so. ¦ Even if you live in a forest hut, you can be with your loved one. ¦ When she gets married, she sings songs, but when she gets married, she sheds tears. I’ll cover the old husband with straw, and warm the young one myself. ¦ Living with the young is fun, and living with the old is good. ¦ To live with the old is only to last a century; to live for little - just toil; To live as equals is to amuse yourself. ¦ For a dear one, it’s not a pity to lose a lot. “For the sake of Darling, I don’t feel sorry for myself. I will sacrifice for my dear one and for myself. ¦ For a dear friend and an earring from his ear. ¦ You can’t live without the sun, you can’t live without your sweetheart. “The cold and the need are bad, but anything is better than a thin husband. ¦ My hubby is only as big as a fist, but I don’t sit behind my husband’s head like an orphan. ¦ Even though my hubby is bad, but my calmness: I’ll fall for him - I’m not afraid of anyone. “I’ll fall for my husband, I’ll laugh at everyone, I’m not afraid of anyone. ¦ There is someone to stand up for the husband’s wife. ¦ God, take care of your husband - he won’t be needed. ¦ Parents protect their daughter until the crown, and the husband - until the end. ¦ A wife is good with her husband. Without a husband, there is no wife. ¦ A wife who is more honest is dearer to her husband. Sometimes the wife also paints her husband. ¦ To live for bad things is only to drag on for a century. ¦ A good wife and an honest husband. “I came to my husband and found what I wanted. “My business is the side, and my husband is right. “Not every wife tells her husband the truth. ¦ Someone else’s husband would be nice, but I wouldn’t live with him; and your hate is to drag around with him.

TO THE YOUNG WIFE

¦ Let your husband think that he is the king-father, and on his head there is a crystal crown, and only you will know that it is not a crown at all, but your heel. ¦ Give your husband the most honorable duty - earning money, and take on the most difficult and thankless job - spending it - on yourself. ¦ Daughter-in-law, love your mother-in-law, because your beloved is the same blood! ¦ Eh, young wife, Now your life is not easy: Previously there were girlfriends - Now only mother-in-law and sister-in-law. ¦ If your husband decides to disagree with you on something, tell him that tomorrow you will invite your mother to visit - don’t doubt it, he will quickly change his decision. ¦ Bride, don’t buy yourself a nightie for your first wedding night, it’s better to buy a scarf right away - it will still hang around your neck. ¦ Buy clothes in the absence of your husband, this will save him from nervous shock. ¦ A picky wife is worse than a mother-in-law. ¦ Look not at one, but at both You look at the quality of the linen - In this part of the wardrobe The hidden power is yours! ¦ Rely on your husband, but don’t make a mistake yourself! ¦ Only that wife is good who does not demand a penny from her husband. ¦ If it seems to you that your husband cannot look at you enough, take him to an ophthalmologist - his vision has probably deteriorated. No matter how much you feed your husband, he still looks to the left. ¦ Criticism addressed to husbands can motivate them to fight: some against their own shortcomings, others against their critical wives. ¦ Cross the road with your husband where he wants, but then you can turn where you want. ¦ The farther your mother-in-law is, the better your blood! ¦ Learn to cook deliciously, Prepare a salad so that even the cabbage leaf in it is as good as grapes.

¦ Don't divorce your husband! Don't give him such pleasure!

RODNE ¦ A Russian person cannot live without relatives. ¦ What is there to scribble about? Let's cook a wedding! ¦ If the girl is silver, look for a clay guy. ¦ Not to woo a bird, but a girl. ¦ A drunken daughter - not married. We said we didn't stop. ¦ They got married in such a way that they didn’t even know the house. ¦ Bring, Lord, to live with your own, not to part with someone else’s (they say, taking a son-in-law home). ¦ The more honest (honorable) the father and mother are planted, the happier the wedding! ¦ Father, drink, but don’t let your daughter drink too much! ¦ The first sweetheart is the father-in-law and mother-in-law; the other sweetheart is the brother-in-law and the sister-in-law. ¦ The father-in-law is a whiner, the mother-in-law is a troublemaker, the sister-in-law is a troublemaker, the brother-in-law is a scoffer. ¦ The father-in-law is painstaking, the mother-in-law is naughty, the brother-in-law is a mockingbird, the sister-in-law is shy, the husband is jealous. ¦ The father-in-law is pugnacious, the mother-in-law is grumpy, the brothers-in-law are quarrelsome, the daughters-in-law are troubled. ¦ The father-in-law says: they are bringing us a bear; mother-in-law says: they are leading a cannibal; the brothers-in-law say: they are bringing us a netkahu; sisters-in-law say: they are leading us to a slander. ¦ This is the mother-in-law's thunderstorm; This mother-in-law is a thunderstorm; This is a husband’s storm (says the mother-in-law to her daughter-in-law). ¦ The father-in-law is a thunderstorm, and the mother-in-law will eat her eyes out. ¦ All fathers-in-law are smart in one way or another - the only question is: one way or another? ¦ You may not be a harsh father-in-law, but still you must be a father-in-law! “There is no truth in the dashing father-in-law. He's as naughty as his mother-in-law. ¦ The cuckoo scolds the nightingale (mother-in-law). ¦ The dashing mother-in-law has eyes in the back. For revenge on the daughter-in-law. ¦ Mother-in-law, when your patience is full, buy yourself a basin! ¦ Mother-in-law, don’t spoil your daughter-in-law’s blood! ¦ People are not born mother-in-law, they inevitably become mother-in-law. ¦ Living with your mother-in-law means not valuing your health! ¦ The lascivious mother-in-law doesn’t believe her daughter-in-law either. ¦ The mother-in-law is on the stove like a dog on a chain. ¦ The mother-in-law beats the cat, and gives her daughter-in-law advice. ¦ My father-in-law’s wife is the mistress. ¦ Mother-in-law's daughter-in-law is a broken streak. “They brought their daughter-in-law and installed a chimney on the roof. “Keep quiet, daughter-in-law, I’ll buy a sundress. “Sweep, sweep, and don’t throw your rubbish out into the street (the father-in-law and mother-in-law tell the daughter-in-law). ¦ The brother-in-law is an ordinary friend, ¦ I’m not a big daughter-in-law, I’m not stubborn (says the brother-in-law). ¦ The daughter-in-law sat down to spin: take care, brothers-in-law, of your eyes. ¦ God-given sisters - stinging nettle. ¦ Sister-in-law - evil; sister-in-law - beater; sister-in-law is a whorl. ¦ Beaten sisters-in-law, beat the heads. The sister-in-law is cunning at tricks. ¦ The father-in-law loves honor, the son-in-law loves to take, and the brother-in-law squints his eyes. ¦ One child is born (daughter), the other is betrothed (son-in-law). ¦ A stranger, but became a family man. ¦ Son-in-law in the yard - pie on the table. ¦ Please, son-in-law, eat the pie! ¦ You can’t save enough for your sons-in-law. ¦ For the son-in-law and the floor door (wide open). ¦ The mother-in-law oils her son-in-law's head (the custom is that young people go to their mother-in-law for scrambled eggs). ¦ The mother-in-law milks the mortar for her son-in-law (i.e. milks). ¦ Mother-in-law, if you want to live happily, love your son-in-law like a son! ¦ Mother-in-law for a son-in-law is a very compelling argument! ¦ Only a bad mother-in-law rinses her son-in-law’s brains! ¦ Mother-in-law - it sounds... it doesn’t sound! ¦ If you want to be a good mother-in-law, treat your son-in-law easier! ¦ The most severe punishment for polygamy is mothers-in-law. Living with your mother-in-law is like howling like a wolf. ¦ Mother-in-law, don’t hiss at your son-in-law, but help in any way you can! ¦ The thunder did not strike, but the mother-in-law was already on the threshold. ¦ A good mother-in-law has a son-in-law who is her most beloved son. “A mother-in-law has been given to us from above—she is a substitute for happiness! ¦ Having become a mother-in-law, you need to know what your son-in-law likes and doesn’t like. ¦ Mother-in-law with a cart - it’s easier for the son-in-law. ¦ The mother-in-law thought - five cannot eat; and the son-in-law sat down and ate it in one sitting. ¦ The son-in-law talks with his mother-in-law all day until the evening, but there is nothing to listen to. ¦ Pour it on the grounds, your son-in-law will be there (says the father-in-law). ¦ Not for the dog-in-law, for the dear child (says the father-in-law). ¦ Zyatek is coming - calling for a hangover. ¦ Now the son-in-law ate the grease, and tomorrow he ate the whole frying pan. “Don’t be stingy with your mother-in-law’s goodness—chop the butter with an awl! ¦ Neither in the sour cream serum, nor in the son-in-law dumplings. ¦ On the day of forgiveness, the son-in-law visits his mother-in-law. ¦ The mother-in-law has everything ready for her son-in-law. ¦ The mother-in-law is magnificent, but she did not come out against her son-in-law. The mother-in-law has skinny pockets. ¦ I was at my mother-in-law’s, but I was glad to leave. “Our sons-in-law have a lot of ideas. ¦ If you quarrel with your son, lie down on the stove; and if you quarrel with your son-in-law, take hold of the bracket (that is, leave, about the test). ¦ Father-in-law, no matter how you turn around, pay for your son-in-law! ¦ Take your son-in-law into the house, take God out! Son-in-law in the house - and the icons out. ¦ For the bread - the eater, for the stove - the bed, and for yourself - the workman (about the son-in-law). “The father-in-law gave a ruble for his son-in-law, and then he gave a ruble and a half to get him out of the yard. ¦ If he weren’t a son-in-law, he wouldn’t have a reputation for being a devil (or a dog). ¦ He called for honor, but he put (his father-in-law) on the stove. ¦ He wouldn’t be a son-in-law if he visited his mother-in-law at the cheese party. ¦ Take your son-in-law into the house, and get out! There is no devil in the house - accept your son-in-law! ¦ Like a son-in-law visiting a mother-in-law - they stop by seven miles away; like a brother-in-law visiting a brother-in-law - they go around seven miles away (expletive). “The poor son-in-law and father-in-law are not happy. The father-in-law does not have a dowry in his hands. ¦ Better one daughter at home than with her son-in-law together. “You may not be an exemplary father, but you must be a good father-in-law! ¦ So this torment is over - being a father to an adult daughter. ¦ A son-in-law is fond of his daughter, but a son is disgusted with his daughter-in-law. ¦ If I had not dropped the pen, I would not have known the yard (that is, if I had not had my daughter, I would not have visited my son-in-law). ¦ The son is his hump, the son-in-law is a purchased dandy; The mother-in-law is busy, the father-in-law is busy. ¦ Son-in-law and brother-in-law - the devil judges them. ¦ The brother-in-law is not the heir. ¦ Shuri’s nephew is like a relative to his son-in-law? (Son.) ¦ If you pick on your daughter-in-law, you won’t end up with trouble! ¦ Better four brothers-in-law than one sister-in-law! ¦ Come on, brother-in-law, don’t be lazy - ¦ Keep your eyes open: ¦ If your son-in-law has done something wrong, ¦ Crack him on the forehead!