A traditional wedding is full of rituals. The union of young people with each other is invariably associated with the tradition of parental blessing. Why is this moment present in the culture of peoples? A girl or boy grew up and was raised in a family, so parents “open the gate” to a new adult life. A wedding is considered a major step towards independence. Two people create a union, which is still a separate cell.
A separate tradition, pleasant for everyone (young people, relatives, guests), is the presentation of gifts. In modern society, it is customary to give money, jewelry, household appliances, and bed linen, but the ritual of blessing the newlyweds with a miraculous icon is still preserved. This ritual dates back to the baptism of Rus' and is the main point of the celebration. The icon given by parents was passed down from one generation to another.
What is the value of the ritual with an icon?
A wedding is the beginning of a new union, ideally lifelong. Therefore, parental guidance serves to strengthen the foundation of the future happiness of the young. Along with congratulations, there are wishes, instructions and blessings from the father and mother. Their task is to help at the first stage to create a microclimate in the family.
Now there is a gradual return to ancient traditions. They are not only beautiful, but also contain a storehouse of ancestral wisdom. Blessing with an icon belongs to the Christian values of marriage, which also strengthen its position in society.
Icon for blessing a daughter before the wedding
Like their son, parents bless their daughter with an icon today, most often on the wedding day, before the groom arrives.
The daughter is blessed with the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, one of the most revered among Orthodox Christians
The same icon is used to marry newlyweds in church. She is of particular importance for women, as she is the intercessor and patroness of the family and peace in it; people resort to her help to protect the house from evil, give birth to healthy children, and they pray to her for healing from illnesses.
Preliminary preparation for the wedding
Improvisation at a wedding is welcome, especially if it is successful, but most of the congratulations, gifts, and parting words should be prepared in advance. A search and development of a script is carried out, relatives and guests discuss the stages of the celebration among themselves, based on the plans of the young people.
Carrying out a celebration according to tradition requires friends and relatives to prepare scenes and ditties. The presence of music and equipment, definition from the menu, is important. All participants in the event, especially parents, should contribute. They are required to prepare words of congratulations and parting words.
What other icons can be presented to young people?
Not only parents can give icons to the newlyweds; friends and relatives of the newlyweds can be given as a gift images of the faces of saints who provide protection to the young spouses, preserving their happiness, peace and piety.
- An icon depicting Peter and Fevronia of Murom would be a great idea for a wedding gift to a young couple. Saints Peter and Fevronia are for Orthodox people a symbol of love, harmony and self-sacrifice for the sake of a loved one. The story of their true sacrificial love has become an instructive example for many married couples. Healed from a serious illness by the beekeeper's daughter Fevronia, Peter of Muromsky took the girl as his wife, and when he inherited the throne from his father, people did not want to see Fevronia as a princess, demanding that Peter expel her. Peter loved his wife so much that he renounced his prosperity, power and throne and left the city with his beloved. Their marriage was short-lived, but they lived the time allotted to them in love and harmony. Saints Peter and Fevronia were buried in the same coffin, according to their will. For many centuries, Orthodox people have revered Peter and Fevronia of Murom as protectors and guardians of family happiness.
- An icon depicting the faces of the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia can also be presented as a gift to newlyweds. These saints are also revered among the people as patrons and defenders of pious marriage. Adrian had to experience a painful death for his faith, and his wife Natalia, having survived the death of her beloved, was forced to hide so that, against her wishes, she would not be married to a non-believer. In these difficult conditions, the woman remained faithful to her beloved and did not betray her faith.
- An icon with the faces of Saints Joachim and Anna will serve as a wonderful gift for the newlyweds, as a symbol of a long and happy marriage. In addition to preserving and protecting the family, this holy couple promotes the birth of offspring for the newlyweds. Joachim and Anna are the parents of the Mother of God, and Anna managed to get pregnant when she and her husband were already quite mature.
- A suitable present for a wedding would be an image of St. Cyril and Mary of Radonezh, who led a very righteous lifestyle and considered it their duty to help the poor, observing all the commandments of Orthodoxy. For all their good deeds, the couple was generously rewarded: Cyril and Mary had an amazing son, later known as St. Sergius of Radonezh.
- The patrons of a successful marriage also include the martyrs Guria, Samon and Aviv, who had to endure severe torment for their faith and die in different years, but on the same day. Many people who prayed to these saints testify that real miracles happened to them. An icon depicting the faces of these saints will also protect the peace of the family.
- The married couple of Saints Zechariah and Elizabeth are also patrons of families, and an icon with their image will help the young to cope with all the hardships of life and have the children they want. Zachary and Elizabeth became the parents of a baby known as John the Baptist, who was born into this world in a very unusual way. Zachary and Elizabeth were barren for many years and could not have children, but they led a righteous and pious life, prayed a lot and earnestly, and their labors were crowned with success - they became the parents of a wonderful baby.
In the Orthodox Church there are many saints who provide patronage to married couples, including Blessed Xenia of Petersburg, Matrona of Moscow and many other saints.
It is preferable to purchase icons in special church shops located at each temple or church. If, due to various circumstances, it had to be purchased elsewhere, the icon must be consecrated in the church before being presented to the newlyweds.
Whatever icons you choose, the gift must be made from the bottom of your heart and with the best wishes for goodness, happiness and love.
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Which icon to bless the newlyweds
What kind of icon do parents usually give to newlyweds for their wedding? The bride's father and mother bless her with the Image and sincerely wish her happiness and wisdom. To carry out the ritual, you need an image of the Kazan Mother of God, which should be presented holding it on an embroidered towel. The icon personifies the image of a woman preserving the family hearth as a spouse and mother. The bride, bowing before the image, looks at it. In this case, the head should be covered with tulle and guipure. The girl makes a promise to protect her family.
The groom's parents bless him with the Image of Christ. The task of a man in a family is to protect it. He makes the final decisions as the head of the family. Although the wife is called the “neck”, who carefully and imperceptibly turns the (man’s) head in the desired direction, according to tradition, the last word remains with him. If he rules incorrectly, if he is a reckless reveler, then the family will suffer. The groom must understand his obligations.
Let's summarize
- For a wedding, parents buy the newlyweds a wedding couple - images of the Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ. They bless the young people with them, after which they keep them in the temple.
- Also for a wedding you can give painted or embroidered faces of Peter and Fevronia (blessing for a happy marriage), Nicholas the Pleasant or personalized young saints (future defenders of the newly-made family), an ancient image of your ancestors.
- In addition to parents, any other guests can give the icon. You can either buy it or make it yourself. The main thing is that the image is consecrated.
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Features of preparing and conducting the blessing ritual
Parents perform the ceremony at home. It is not customary to receive images from friends. An icon for blessing should be purchased consecrated in a temple or monastery. Before the wedding, parents visit these monasteries of God to pray for the prosperous future family life of their children, and purchase an icon. Together with the Image, they bring peace and grace to the house.
It is permissible to bring the images to the registry office during the wedding, and then, before the start of the feast, once again greet the newlyweds with one of the icons, as a rule, the Face of Christ. The embroidered towel used to hold the icon is called a towel. Then the hands of the young people are tied. The role of uniting the bride and groom is assigned to the parents, therefore the image of Christ is used in this ritual. The father greets the newlyweds, holding an icon, and the groom's mother meets them with bread and salt. The tradition of blessing the young with an icon and a loaf symbolizes the wish for them to have a prosperous family life, prosperity and happiness.
You should first prepare your words. It is better that parting words, wishes and congratulations come from the heart, and are not taken solely from the Internet. You can first familiarize yourself with the traditions of your ancestors and, based on them, compose your own special version of wishes. Carrying out the ritual with a pure heart is the key to its value for the future life of the young. Parents must turn to the Lord. If you lack faith, then you should sincerely wish happiness to the bride and groom. Young people starting family life are always worthy of these wishes. If there are doubts, they should have been voiced earlier. After the wedding, only wishes for happiness, healthy children, and mutual understanding should be spoken.
Is it possible to give icons?
Yes! And this is a very valuable gift that (unlike a set of pots or dinnerware) the couple will keep for the rest of their lives. Or maybe he’ll give it to his own children or grandchildren.
As a rule, icons must be handed over during a wedding. But even if the couple has only decided to sign in the registry office, but both (or at least one of the newlyweds) believe in God, icons can be given as a gift. They will serve not only as a blessing, but also as a gentle fatherly reminder of the sinfulness of living together outside the sacrament of marriage.
What will such a gift give the young couple?
If the young people live with their Orthodox parents, these two icons will surely appear on the paternal iconostasis. If after the wedding they are going to move into their own home, the images will become the basis of their own Red Corner.
And besides, wedding icons:
- will teach Christian values (humility, mercy, love for one's neighbor);
- will become a place near which you can pray, repent, thank the Lord for all the good things that He has given during the day;
- they will be reminded in time that the Lord himself blessed the marriage - which means that people should not ruin it because of trifling insults or quarrels.
By the way! In church shops and icon-painting workshops you can find not only painted, but also embroidered (including beaded) icons. And jewelry stores offer images in vestments made of silver/gold, or decorated with pearls and precious stones. Such a gift will not only be a blessing, but also a wise investment.
But store-bought icons may not be consecrated - be sure to check this point in order to have time to take them to the church before donating them.
Who else can become a donor?
If the newly-made father-in-law and mother-in-law buy a wedding couple, then other relatives and friends can also bring a blessed gift. As a rule, they choose images of patron saints - say, nominal ones.
By the way, you can not only buy an icon, but also draw it or embroider it (with threads, beads), or make it out of crystals. The main thing is to consecrate it before donating it. Also, some priests believe that before sitting down to this work, it is better to receive a blessing in church.
St. Peter and Fevronia
Another worthwhile wedding gift is an icon of Peter and Fevronia, patrons of the family hearth and love. It symbolizes humble love, which will last as long as the young people live.
According to legend, Peter and Fevronia were a true example of love. For the sake of his beloved, Peter, being a prince, renounced wealth and even the throne. The couple managed to live a very long and happy life, at the end of which they were buried together.
Not only parents, but also friends can give icons for a wedding. Such a gift should be given with sincere wishes for prosperity, peace and eternal love to the couple.
The Church does not establish any rules for gifting icons to newlyweds and does not note which saints’ faces can be presented. Icons given on this occasion often serve as family patrons and are also passed down from generation to generation.
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How to bless newlyweds with an icon
Usually parents experience great excitement at this moment, so it is better not to make long speeches, but only give their parting words to their children so that they always love and support each other. The mother holds an icon (or better yet, a folded one) in her hands, and the father holds a loaf (also on a towel). After a short parting word, the young people should cross themselves three times and present them with an icon, which the young people also cross and then kiss. In the old days, young people knelt to receive their parents’ blessing, which emphasized the solemnity of the moment.
Jesus and the Virgin Mary
Icons of Jesus and the Virgin Mary are considered a traditional wedding gift; most often they are given as a couple. Such a gift is almost always presented by the parents of the young, blessing them with a long and happy life together in abundance, the birth of healthy children, as well as the establishment of complete mutual understanding between future heirs and their parents.
Widely loved among Christians is the image of the Mother of God “Softening Evil Hearts,” which is often popularly called the “safe-conduct” of a young family.
The parents bless their daughter with the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos, and the groom's parents bless the icon of Jesus.
The moment of presenting the icons of the Mother of God and Jesus is considered solemn; it is usually held in a warm family atmosphere, without prying eyes. It is best to purchase such icons in a wedding shop; they must be consecrated by the priest.
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St. Joachim and Anna
Joachim and Anna were the parents of the Mother of God. An icon with their image is a wonderful gift for a newly-made family, which will reliably protect the marriage from adversity, as well as protect each of the newlyweds.
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It is worth noting that such an icon is capable of assisting in childbirth - from the moment of the wedding, young people can pray to it for a quick addition to the family. These requests are fulfilled in a short time. By the way, the Scripture says that Anna and Joachim wanted to become parents for a very long time, but they managed to experience the happiness of fatherhood and motherhood only in old age.