Bride price appeared a long time ago
Bride ransom
Bride ransom has been practiced at all times and dates back to Ancient Rus'. Our ancestors also paid money before walking a girl down the aisle. It was a kind of “dowry” for the groom.
In Russia, it was customary that the groom had to thank the bride’s for the fact that their daughter would become the keeper of the hearth in his house.
The sacred meaning of the bride ransom ritual
Bride ransom in Russia has long turned into a fun wedding game.
For centuries, the entire ritual was filled with great sacred meaning. It was important for the ancestors that their daughter’s groom be a wealthy, strong and purposeful man, capable of supporting his wife in abundance and loving her deeply. To test the seriousness of his intentions and consistency, various tests were invented that confirmed the masculine qualities of the applicant for the girl’s hand and heart. The ritual was carried out in a cheerful, comic manner, but they took it quite seriously. The groom had to remember for many years that he got the bride at the cost of certain efforts.
And this was the wisdom of the ancestors - after all, what is valued is what one puts effort and money into. At that time, the ransom was considered to be the groom's wedding gift, which was no less in amount than the bride's dowry. The gift was considered the separate property of the future wife, and legally she had the right to pass it on by inheritance!
If you look at the ceremony as a transaction, then the groom lost practically nothing, since the dowry compensated for the ransom amount. And the future wife had a certain safety cushion in case of emergency. It’s not just like that - in the West there is a marriage contract, and our ancestors had their own original scheme for financial protection of their daughters - these are the wedding traditions of Russia.
Because you can’t build a family on feelings alone; there must be a financial base. Whether to observe sacred laws or not - each couple decides for themselves independently with all the ensuing consequences. Now let's move on to more fun things.
Modern traditions have not changed
Modern traditions
It is safe to say that modern customs are very similar to ancient ones. The groom arrives at the bride's house, bows to her parents and asks her to marry his daughter to him . If the bride has a brother, then, as a rule, he carries out the ransom. At the same time, the groom has no right to bargain; everything must be done for him by the witness and his friends.
The origins of the wedding tradition
If you delve into the old days, to your ancestors, you can learn from history that they always had a bride ransom ritual. Previously, it was not customary to marry a bride from one’s own village. It was believed that there were only relatives in the village. Even fifth cousins were considered close kinship. Everyone up to the seventh generation was considered relatives.
Therefore, the young men went to the neighboring village in search of their beloved. They were, of course, not always greeted there with bread and salt.
To further intimidate the groom, he took his groomsmen with him, who formed a kind of squad. To this day, this bride ransom ritual has been preserved. When a young man goes to his bride’s house, he always comes with his friends and a witness.
They absolutely did not want to give the bride to a stranger. At that time, the girl had extra hands. And since everything was done by hand, extra hands were extremely necessary. In addition, among the Slavs, absolutely all household chores fell on women’s shoulders. The weaker sex even painted houses and paths. The father and his relatives did not want to give up their daughter just like that, so the man had to fight for her.
This appeared to be mostly in the form of cash ransom, which was colored in a game form. If the Kazakh peoples had a traditional bride price, then the Slavs had no such thing. The groom came with his groomsmen, carried out tasks from the bride's friends and paid them money. Only after this could the bride be given away. It was believed that it is the traditional observance of rituals that gives the family a happy family life.
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The Slavs had another interesting custom, which is called bride substitution. An old widow or an ugly young lady and a bride were hidden under the veil. It was necessary for the groom to understand under what veil his betrothed was sitting. If he guessed right, he could get married. If the answer is incorrect, you must either marry someone else or pay the bride’s parents again.
Competitions are an integral part of the buyout
Since ancient times, it has been the custom that the groom does not get off with money alone. He had to win various competitions, complete tasks and thus prove his love .
The ransom began after the groom completed all the tasks. When they started bargaining with him, the bride was sitting at the wedding table. In the process, the groom's friends tried to quietly remove her shoe, and the bridesmaids tried to prevent this, since if this happened, the bride would have to be given away without a ransom.
It's not worth skimping
Bride ransom and wedding
The groom drove up to his beloved's house on an argamak, if funds allowed, or on a decorated sleigh. For decorations, we tried to use as many flowers, embroidered towels, and ribbons as possible. Not a single wedding train left without bells and bells. They served as a signal for the young man to approach his beloved’s house. The groom was traveling without his parents. During the wedding, they were replaced by their imprisoned mother and father.
The time when it was possible to go for the bride was informed to the newlywed by a messenger from the future father-in-law.
The groom could enter the house only after the ransom was paid for the bride. The friends of the young man, the thousand or the friend were responsible for this. The ransom consisted of sweet treats, symbolic gifts, and a glass was poured for those who wished. Afterwards everyone sat down at the table. And the groom’s mother, who had been imprisoned, went to the young woman to see if she was ready to go out.
At first, the young people got engaged in the girl’s parents’ house. After which they could kiss in front of everyone. Then came preparations for the wedding. The newlyweds were required to comb their hair and braid their hair. Meanwhile, the guests received gifts (for example, a scarf) and treats (cheese, wine, bread) from the girl’s father and mother. At the same time, the parents of the young man and all the guests who were invited to the celebration, but were absent at the engagement, were also given gifts with treats through a messenger.
When the newlyweds were taken out to the guests, the latter began to sprinkle them with grain and hops, and the parents had to give their blessing. After this, the groom took his bride out of the house and put her in a sleigh. He himself rode on horseback or on a personal sleigh. Those guests who did not go to church immediately went to the groom's house.
It's not worth skimping
Despite the fact that ransom competitions are varied and fun, misunderstandings still happen. For example, at one of the weddings, the bride accidentally heard how the groom did not want to give more than 200 hryvnia for her, for which he received a bouquet from her on the head. So, no matter how much you don’t want to give money to who knows who, it’s better to give more than to sell it cheap and offend your loved one, and gain the reputation of being “stingy” among the guests.
Wedding signs and traditions are an important and significant thing, so you need to know them, even if you are not going to adhere to certain rituals. You will learn about the origin of wedding traditions from the article Where did wedding traditions come from?
Wedding ransom
The traditional Slavic ritual of wedding ransom, called brane, was a real performance according to a specific scenario, where everyone had their own role. This action involved overcoming a number of obstacles, in which the strength, dexterity, ingenuity and generosity of the groom and his witness, formerly called the groom, were tested.
Although in different parts of Rus' the wedding ransom had its own characteristics, they were all, to one degree or another, based on the same basis. The tradition of swearing in a somewhat modernized form exists to this day, only rural landscapes are increasingly being replaced by the decorations of the entrances of high-rise buildings, and on the wedding train, cars have taken the place of drawn carts.
Obstacles to the groom at the bride ransom ceremony
The groom and his friends need to participate so actively in the events that everyone around them is confident in the bright feelings of the young spouse. But even if they are confident in this, the bride’s friends will in any case insist on the trials that they will have to go through.
Initially, they ask the groom's matchmakers to tell him how good he is. The witness must prepare a short and succinct speech in advance. He will have to name as many positive characteristics of the young man as possible.
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But the bride's friends cannot just listen to flattering words about the groom. They may ask you to name all his characteristics that begin with the letter "e". This will be much funnier and more interesting. In this case, it can be established that there should be at least 10 words.
An obligatory part of the ransom is to check the young man's knowledge of the bride. He may be asked to guess the eyes, lips, weight, silhouette of the bride. In this test, it is very important not to make mistakes and guess absolutely all the important points.
One of the popular tasks involves guessing and matching dates and events. In this case, it is worth including not only the bride’s birthday, but also the mother-in-law, future father-in-law, date and day of acquaintance. As a comic test, you can write the day of a solar eclipse. On the one hand, it will be quite funny, but on the other hand, you will slightly confuse the groom.
Bride ransom ritual in the traditions of the Russian people
The bride ransom ceremony is part of the traditional Russian wedding ceremony. Bride ransom has been carried out in Rus' since approximately the 13th-14th centuries. It is important to note that in different settlements this ceremony was carried out differently: they had their own wedding songs, their own tests for the groom. But at the same time, there was always a certain sequence of events and constant characters.
Traditionally, the bride's ransom ceremony was performed in the form of a festive performance, for which they prepared very carefully.
The groom, groomsmen and friends of the groom made up the so-called “wedding train”.
Usually there were several buyouts.
The very first ransom was at the entrance to the village or at the entrance to the bride’s house. The villagers blocked the road and demanded a ransom from the groom for the passage. Most often, it was the groom's friend who paid off. But sometimes the groom also had to pay. For example, testing the heroic strength of the groom was quite widespread. It was carried out with the help of a log, which was used to block the road to the bride's house. The groom had to saw through the log, and while he was doing this, jokes and ridicule came from all sides. They criticized his strength, dexterity, and skill. But when the log was defeated, the groom was offered water to wash himself and a luxuriously embroidered towel to dry himself.
The second part of the bride's ransom ceremony was held at the house of the future wife. Usually, when the groom arrived at his betrothed's house, he had to buy both the gates and the doors, which were blocked by the bride's neighbors and relatives. At the same time, they did not forget to give sweets to the kids who surrounded the bride’s house.
The groom's mind was also traditionally tested. This test was carried out by a relative of the bride (usually a grandfather), who asked the groom various riddles. When the groom could not answer, he was helped by his groomsmen and kind people who had to repay the help.
When the groom, who had passed the test, entered the house, new tasks awaited him. Firstly, it was necessary to present gifts to the bridesmaids. Secondly, you had to look for where the bride was hiding, or choose your sweetheart from several brides offered to choose from. Neighbors, relatives, and even old women could be offered as “additional” brides. Therefore, I had to carefully examine each one, noting height, posture, shoes and other signs.
After testing the bride ransom ritual, the groom was invited to the table where the bride was already sitting. But the place next to her was already occupied by some man. I had to pay him too. Then guests were invited to the table.
The ritual of ransoming the bride entered the tradition of modern weddings several years ago. Now the responsibility for preparing the ransom falls on the bride's friends. It all depends on their imagination. They come up with wedding competitions, riddles, and create a ritual script.
During the ceremony, the groom is expected not so much to demonstrate strength and intelligence, but rather to be able to get out of a difficult situation with the help of humor and jokes, resourcefulness and a good mood.
Sometimes, even today, the bride ransom ceremony is carried out in the old Russian manner using poems and songs. But such a ritual is quite difficult to prepare, if only because you have to learn a lot by heart. And besides, the novelty and, as a result, interest in the ritual are lost. Therefore, it is advisable to conduct the bride ransom ceremony in a humorous form in the form of competitions, tasks and riddles for the groom.
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Break the loaf and feed it to all the guests
An obligatory ritual in which parents took part was treating the newlyweds and all guests to a wedding loaf. The groom's parents present a huge round bread on an embroidered towel, with a salt shaker placed on top. The newly-made husband and wife must break off a piece of bread, dip it in salt and feed each other - such a dubious-tasting treat symbolizes that the lovers eat all the “salt” of family life here and now, and then only good things await them.
Some break off the bread with their hands, but especially zealous admirers of tradition insist that the couple, like in the old days, bite off the bread without using their hands. Not at every wedding such a ritual will look appropriate, especially if work colleagues are present, and the bride and groom occupy high positions. What to do with the loaf after the ceremony? Our ancestors treated guests, and the leftovers were taken to church or given to the poor. The fate of the unfortunate loaf in modern realities is more sad: the bread is not eaten, it dries out and goes into the trash. We are against such treatment, so we also write this custom off as scrap.
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Wedding loaf
At the threshold, the parents presented the newly-made spouses with a wedding loaf of bread and salt: they should take turns taking a bite, this is the custom of Russia. Previously, it meant a kind of fortune-telling - what gender the baby would be, where the family's expenses would go. However, modern newlyweds wonder who will be the “leader” in the family and who will be the “follower,” depending on whose piece is larger. In Rus', such fortune-telling was unthinkable, because the only possible head of the family, according to tradition, was a man.
