Re-wedding: tips and recommendations from professionals!

We have many articles about the intricacies of organizing a wedding where young guests are expected:

And yet, the holiday scenario changes a little if the main children at the wedding are yours. Re-weddings are a common situation, and children from a previous marriage deserve to be guests of honor at this celebration. Today we’ll figure out how to plan everything so that you enjoy the holiday, and the children don’t feel offended and forgotten.

1

Will children be present at the wedding?

This is the main question to start with. Our opinion: children are a huge part of your life, the people you love and are closest to, so it would be unfair to leave them aside from such an important event for parents.

If the children are still very young (up to 2.5-3 years old), then a good option would be to spend the morning of the wedding day with them.

Show them off in your wedding attire, arrange a family photo shoot together, treat yourself to a mini version of the wedding cake, and then head off to the registration and reception, leaving the kids with the nanny, grandma, or other trusted person. You can already reach an agreement with older children and prepare them for the event, explaining what kind of holiday you have ahead.

2

How to celebrate a second wedding?

You shouldn’t repeat even the most interesting ideas from your first wedding, choose the same hall, even if it’s the most luxurious in your city, and go on your honeymoon to the same place you went to the first time. You need to completely forget about everything that happened. Now you have a new life, and everything should be new.

And you and your current fiancé are no longer that young, carefree couple. Now, instead of your parents, you decide how, where and, most importantly, what to spend your second wedding on. And here is your imagination and possibilities.

As for the celebration itself, here you need to take into account each other’s wishes.

If this is the second wedding for both of you , you can limit yourself to a modest option. This way you will save both money and effort. Better spend this time with your loved ones. After all, the honeymoon will fly by quickly, and sometimes it can be very difficult to enjoy each other in everyday life.

If this event is the first time in your beloved’s life and your soul requires a holiday, do not refuse it and make your second desired wedding bright and unforgettable. Realize all the ideas that you might have even wanted to have at your last wedding.

Organize your wedding in some thematic genre, hold a mini-performance. I think your guests, and you yourself, will be very delighted.

If you want, throw a grand party, or, on the contrary, invite only your dearest and closest people. And if your life experience tells you that this is completely unnecessary, after the registry office, immediately rush off on a romantic trip. The main thing is that from all these procedures you have only the brightest and warmest memories for the rest of your life.

wedding ceremony

This is the most official, important and exciting part of the celebration, the wait for which can be lengthy. Especially if you decide to register at the registry office or at another popular wedding venue, where ceremonies take place on a first-come, first-served basis. Think, maybe it would be better for the kids to join the celebration after the end of the official part?

If you still want the children to be present during the painting, then prepare for the possible wait by coming up with an activity for them.

A walk, an afternoon nap in a stroller or car, quiet games, and even a tablet with cartoons - anything will do, as long as the children don’t get bored, tired, or throw a tantrum. Be sure to designate an adult responsible for the kids - one friend or relative for each of the children. It’s clearly not mom and dad who should solve children’s problems and fulfill their requests at such an important moment.

3

Don't try to "tread on the same rake"

Not so often, but it happens that as soon as a woman (man) has found happiness again and arranged her life anew, the ex-partner tries to “bring everything back.” Calls, harassment and even threats from the spouse begin. He insists that he “made a mistake” and begs the woman to return. In fact, practice shows that nothing will change - as soon as the wife returns to the family, the man will begin to behave as before. And the marriage will fall apart again. Ex-wives usually return the prodigal spouse to the family with the help of blackmail and manipulation of children. Although men most often leave forever. Therefore, if you have already started a new relationship, there is no need to rush around and be torn into two houses. Have respect for yourself and the partner with whom you entered into a second marriage.

Important assignments

A great way to integrate children into the wedding process is to give them some important tasks for which they will be entirely responsible. For example, little ones can carry the bride's veil or the long train of her wedding dress, carry signs with inscriptions or scatter rose petals in front of mom as she walks down the aisle, and present wedding rings to the bride and groom. Believe me, feeling their own importance, children will be more collected and focus on fulfilling their role instead of whims, running around and noise.

4

Pros and cons of getting married again

Like any important event, a second wedding has its own pros and cons.
Pros:

• This is an opportunity to once again say the most important words to each other and wear beautiful outfits.
• A repeat celebration will allow you to create a celebration for those who were not at your first wedding.
• Children will be interested to see their parents in wedding clothes.
• You can have your wedding the way you want.

Minuses:

• Relatives, especially older ones, may perceive such a holiday as an unnecessary whim.
• The celebration will require time and effort, as it needs to be organized.
• Perhaps old wedding dresses will have to be altered. Or buy new ones.
• Naturally, such a holiday will require expenses.

But, in any case, if you want a holiday, why not? After all, a wedding is the most beautiful and romantic celebration. And it doesn’t have to happen with your loved one only once.

Love each other, and let the holiday live in your hearts!

Walk and banquet

The arrangement with a responsible adult should work throughout the wedding. On a walk or during a banquet, you also won’t always be able to pay enough attention to your child. Let your trusted person always be there to feed your baby, give him something to drink, take him to the toilet and calm him down if something goes wrong.

You, in turn, better think carefully about the holiday scenario, looking at what is happening through the eyes of a child.

Avoid long walks and long photo sessions, avoid long distances during the day, breaks in the program, too loud music and pyrotechnics that can frighten children. Discuss with the host the format of the show program so that it does not contain inappropriate 18+ jokes and ambiguous competitions, select such artists and numbers for the banquet that will be interesting to watch not only for adults, but also for children.

5

Second marriages - psychology

Youth is a time for madly falling in love and building relationships in which the other half is seen as ideal, beautiful in everything. Often falling in love is mistaken for love and first marriages are concluded on the impulse of feelings; some experts call them student marriages. Such unions do not last long and the divorce rate is very high. To decide on a second marriage after a divorce, it takes time and awareness of readiness for a new relationship.

According to statistics, more men enter into second marriages (up to 70%), women after 35 years of age find it difficult to find a chosen one, so many of them are single, and only 30% remarry. Relationships in a second marriage often repeat the scenario of the first marriage, if the man and woman did not realize all the mistakes and disagreements that were made in the previous relationship, but it can be quite the opposite.

Children's entertainment

Even at an intimate wedding, not to mention a large-scale celebration, it is better to organize a separate area for children where they can have a snack and do interesting things while the adults have fun. Individual creativity kits, coloring books with pencils, and small toys will help you.

But all this cannot compare in terms of the level of involvement with a good animator, who is simply irreplaceable at a wedding.

A fun program especially for young guests and interesting children's master classes will save you from headaches about what to do with your children. Don’t skimp on the animators - let all guests, including those who look after the kids, have a good rest.

6

Children's menu

The wedding lasts the whole day, and young guests have a diet that is not advisable to disrupt. A hungry child is a capricious child, remember this! Make sure there are dishes on the communal table that your children enjoy. Or organize a separate table for them with a special menu, so that adults don’t have problems with what to feed the kids. You will find many ideas for the menu and decor of the children's table in our other publications listed at the beginning of the article.

7

Wedding traditions on the second wedding day

Despite the fact that it is the 21st century, some things still remain unchanged. These are traditions. They have been used for a long time and now few people neglect them.

Pancakes. The bride distributes pancakes to those present and asks for money in return. The main thing here is not to overdo it with the sale, so that the guests do not get the impression that they were invited to fill the young man’s wallet.

Handing out glasses. Also from the category of those traditions that replenish the budget. The wife thanks her husband’s parents for a good son, and then takes a delivery with glasses and delivers everything to the guests. Each guest must leave money at the counter.

Loaf. The young take turns biting the loaf. Whoever bites off the most is considered the head of the family.

Mother-in-law&son-in-law. The son-in-law must wash his mother-in-law’s feet and put on her new shoes that he bought (but many limit themselves to simply washing their feet). The mother-in-law can feed her son-in-law from a spoon. With such a gesture she will show that she, as it were, takes him as her son.

“Build a house, plant a tree, raise a son.”

In fact, at a wedding they limit themselves to only one of these three actions - planting a tree. If possible, then at your own home. If you live in the city, you can plant a decorative house tree in a pot and then bring it into your apartment.

Twinning. Newlyweds can ask their spouse's parents to call them mom and dad. Perhaps one of the most touching moments at a wedding.

Logistics

A clear plan of actions and movements on your wedding day is your key to success. Write down your children's timings for the day in detail and give this memo to the person who will accompany your children at the wedding. Be sure to explain to him what time and where he should arrive and when his “work shift” will begin. Prepare a bag with everything your child needs, especially if he is small: wet wipes; a change of clothes, a hat in case of hot weather and something warm if it gets cooler in the evening; snack, water; favorite toys and other things that you can use to entertain your baby if he gets bored.

Think about when it is better for children to leave the holiday, because a wedding usually lasts until night and it is difficult for children to withstand so much time without sleep. Ask a relative to take the child home and put him to bed, and be sure to take care of the transfer.

8

When and why is a repeat celebration held?

Why do you need a second wedding?
There can actually be quite a lot of reasons for holding such a celebration:

• I just wanted a holiday. For example, why not walk around the city in wedding dresses again? Usually such celebrations are timed to coincide with the anniversary.
• It was not possible to have a wedding for the first time and we made do with a modest registration. Later such an opportunity arose.
• I wanted to have a wedding in an exotic place.
• I wanted to hold a themed celebration, since the first one was ordinary.
• I wanted the grown-up children to attend their parents’ wedding.

The reasons can be listed endlessly, everyone has their own. Sometimes this is a second wedding for friends and relatives, since the main celebration with registration was held, for example, abroad. And, in order not to offend loved ones, the young people decided that one wedding might not be enough.

Relax and have fun

This is the last tip. During a wedding, something can always go wrong, and even more so when children are present. Don’t worry if your child didn’t want to be photographed, burst into tears at the most crucial moment, or didn’t want to have fun at the banquet. Take all minor troubles calmly and be sure that no one will remember about it later.

And to be on the safe side and provide for all possible force majeure events, as well as to receive additional support from a specialist, contact the services of a wedding planner. We are sure that a true professional has dealt with children at weddings more than once and will be able to help you in any situation.

How is the second marriage different from the first?

Psychologists are convinced that first and second marriages have significant differences. For the first time, a couple decides to legalize their relationship in order to have their own home, their own family, have children, and move to live separately from their parents. This is the beginning of independent life, an important step in growing up and taking on new responsibilities.

The second time people get married is purely to connect with a new partner. Most often you already have a house and children; there is no need to tie the knot in order to prove something to someone or to keep up appearances. A second marriage occurs when both are sure that they want it, that they have met their other half.

The first marriage often breaks up due to the youth of the partners, due to their unpreparedness for household obligations and responsibility. In addition, relationships can deteriorate after the birth of a child if the couple is not ready for this. Both become parents first and then lovers, which has a very negative impact on the relationship.

Yes, children can also appear in a second marriage. But lovers are already ready for this and know how to separate the roles of parent and lover.

Important

Sigmund Freud called the main reason for the failure of first marriages to be women’s “archaic hostile reaction against men.” Indeed, according to statistics, most divorces in first marriages occur on the initiative of women. They understand that marriage is not at all what they thought, that everything is not as rosy as it seemed on dates.