Civil marriage - a solution or a dead end?
In the modern world, more and more couples prefer civil marriage. This does not limit the rights of partners and makes it possible to experience all the nuances of life together. At least, this is what most people do before deciding to get married. And others don’t think about the stamp in their passport at all. After all, the main thing is that your loved one is nearby. In fact, the relationship between a man and a woman does not depend in any way on whether there was a wedding and what kind of wedding it was - magnificent or modest, etc. You can have a luxurious party according to all the rules and canons and even go through a wedding ceremony, and then never see happiness in life. There are also situations when, instead of a wedding, there was a modest painting, without a table and a cortege, and the relationship only blossoms and strengthens. If the happiness of a family does not depend on celebrating its birth, then what is a wedding for?
What does this solemn event mean for a girl?
According to statistics, girls, of course, want to experience all the charm of the celebration. After all, from childhood, representatives of the fair sex know from fairy tales about princesses in magnificent decorations, about luxurious weddings in the palace and certainly with princes. Likewise, in real life, every girl wants to wear a wedding dress and experience all the benefits of being a bride. Veil, jewelry, bouquet, guests, music and fun - all these attributes will take your breath away just by listing them. The celebration itself serves as a kind of realization of an old childhood dream.
That's what a girl's wedding is for in most cases. Also, many ladies are in a hurry to cross the line of free life and devote themselves to family and raising children. They see this as their purpose and are ready to implement themselves in this direction without delay. That is why more and more often the initiative comes from the fair sex. The celebration is also a great opportunity to be the center of attention.
Parents wanted
What is a wedding for? Sometimes the decision to hold a celebration is made by the parents of the boy and girl. After all, the past generation grew up on certain rules of society. And when people wanted to be together, they usually got married. It is sometimes difficult for parents to understand why their children do not live in an official marriage. After all, before this would have been considered a shame. But time moves forward, and many standards of society have long changed their guidelines. Now people pay attention primarily to self-realization. If starting a family does not run counter to their personal plans, then they tie the knot.
What if a guy and a girl have been dating for a long time or even live together. Why do they need a wedding? You need to understand each situation separately.
Opinions of outsiders
The first reason why celebrations of various formats are held is the official announcement of the creation of a young family. After all, relationships are not always advertised, and a wedding is a good reason to show your significant other to your many relatives. So we should not miss the fact that public opinion still matters. When, for example, a couple has been dating for a long time, sooner or later young people hear from acquaintances, relatives and friends the question of when is the wedding. And both the guy and the girl feel uneasy. Until this moment, they were happy with everything, they enjoyed the feelings and did not think about why the wedding was needed. Human psychology is structured in such a way that, having heard an opinion from the outside, he involuntarily begins to analyze it. Girls are more subject to the pressure of public opinion.
That is why they begin to give hints to their boyfriends in every possible way, and sometimes directly explain why they need a wedding. Often this results in strong marriages, and it also happens that everything ends before it even begins. Therefore, before getting married, you should get to know your partner well and observe his actions in different situations. The candy-bouquet period is, of course, good, but real life makes its own, sometimes not entirely pleasant, adjustments. You need to learn to live with your partner.
Signs for the bride
- The bride's dress must be sewn in one piece, since it is believed that if they wear a separate dress, the newlyweds will have a separate life.
- To protect herself from the evil eye, the bride must fasten a pin to the hem of her dress, head up, or make several stitches with blue thread.
- The bride should not look at herself in the mirror in full wedding attire; she can simply take off her shoes, gloves or veil.
- It is customary for the bride's friends to help her put on her wedding dress in the morning. So, the dress must be worn over the head. It will be better if the jewelry is worn by a friend who lives happily in marriage. It is better not to choose pearls for such an occasion - it will lead to tears.
- You need to buy a new dress, not rent it or buy it from others.
- The bride's worn shoes can bring good luck to the family. This means that she must wear them for at least one day.
- If the bride has younger sisters and she wants them to get married as soon as possible, then when leaving the house she should pull the edge of the tablecloth that covers the table.
- The bride, on the last night before marriage, must sleep with her parents, even if she and the groom live together.
- When leaving her parents' house, the bride is not allowed to turn back, especially when someone calls her. You only need to look forward.
- For a rich family life, you need to put a coin in your left shoe, under the heel. Shoes must only be closed toe.
- Friends or sisters are not allowed to try on a wedding dress, because they can take over their marital happiness.
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Video “Wedding Signs”
Conscious decision
What is a wedding for? The second reason for holding an identity ceremony is a conscious and final decision to be with a certain person. This step is especially difficult for men to take. After all, you need to take care of the family’s wealth, be able to provide for your wife and children, and also be confident in your own choice. Sometimes it happens that girls think for a long time. Of course, when entering into marriage, no one can give one hundred percent guarantees of its success and longevity. However, this is what life is given for, to comprehend it together with a loved one. You should not create a family as some kind of burden that will reduce personal opportunities or limit your own space.
Rather, you need to perceive this as a new stage in your life. Perhaps even expanding your own capabilities, because together it is not only more fun, but also easier to go through life’s journey.
Moving to a new level of relationship
Sometimes people wonder why a wedding is necessary if the relationship is fine and life suits both. The fact is that this can serve as a transition to a qualitatively new level of perception of both yourself and your partner. No matter what the experienced people say, life still changes after the wedding. A special sense of responsibility appears, which is the norm for some, but emotionally depressing for others. Therefore, it often happens that a couple who lived together in a civil marriage completely loses mutual understanding after a stamp in their passport. This is, rather, the result of an incorrect interpretation of responsibilities in the family.
For some reason, society has an opinion that life ends after marriage. There are even many jokes about this. But in reality it doesn't come to humor. Family is a new format of life.
Wedding in May: signs and beliefs
What does the Christian Church say about weddings in May? And here you can find a huge number of contradictions.
The main prohibitions on weddings are related to Lent. Considering that the date of Easter is always floating, fasting often ends in May.
It turns out that the church is not against weddings in May. The main thing is that the date is after Easter.
And if you didn’t have time to sign on the allowed days in April, if Easter is early, you will have to either choose and “suffer”, or not bother and wait for June.
But here another folk sign comes to the rescue. Exactly a week after Easter, an ancient holiday is celebrated - Red Hill.
It symbolizes the arrival of spring, fun and everything related to love relationships. According to folk signs, there is no better day for a wedding.
Whoever marries on Krasnaya Gorka will never get divorced
How is it that in most cases Krasnaya Gorka falls precisely at the beginning of May.
It turns out that there is a contradiction in popular beliefs: on the one hand, the best day for a wedding, on the other, there is a ban on getting married in May.
Let's try to find out what the church calendar says about this day. There is simply no such holiday there. On this day they celebrate Antipascha or St. Thomas Day. And the most important thing is that in just two days there will be Radonitsa or parent’s day.
The church holds special and memorial services on these days. Therefore, there simply cannot be any talk about weddings during memorial weeks.
The interweaving of folk and church holidays brought even greater confusion to the decision on the wedding in May.
Maybe this is why the priests recommend that young people wait until June.
Greater confidence
So what is a wedding for and for whom? For young people or those around them? The answer may seem ambiguous to some, but those who have experienced this situation themselves will certainly agree. A wedding is needed to gain greater confidence in your own environment. For example, when a guy and a girl meet, almost no one close to them takes their choice seriously. This is especially true for parents.
After the wedding, things are different. The daughter-in-law is no longer perceived as just a son's girlfriend, and the son-in-law becomes something more than the daughter's boyfriend. This principle changes a lot in the relationship between people around and the couple. The atmosphere within the union between the young may remain the same, especially if everything was good before. But others perceive the couple as a single whole, that is, a family.
Is it worth having a wedding during the coronavirus epidemic?
No one will give you an answer to this question. This is the decision of each individual newlyweds and their guests. The only thing is, if you are planning a large wedding with more than 70 guests, then, of course, you should either reduce the number of guests or postpone such a massive celebration to another period, when the coronavirus epidemic subsides.
If you are planning a small wedding with a minimum number of people, then it may not make sense to cancel it. The main thing is to think through the organization of the holiday taking into account the current situation.
Are celebrities and newlyweds canceling weddings in different countries?
Singer Katy Perry and actor Orlando Bloom were forced to cancel their wedding. They wanted to get married this summer in Japan. There were supposed to be 150 guests at the wedding, and Perry was planning to walk down the aisle pregnant. But due to the current situation in the world, it was decided to cancel the celebration.
Some couples do not cancel celebrations, but make them less “crowded” and safer. For example, newlyweds in China held a “two-minute” masked wedding in their backyard, which was attended only by lovers and parents due to the risk of coronavirus transmission.
But newlyweds in South Korea decided to do the opposite: thousands of loving couples tied the knot on February 7 at the Unification Church, despite the coronavirus outbreak in the region. Most of the couples came to the wedding wearing protective masks.
Is there a ban on weddings?
In connection with the coronavirus, in many regions of Russia until April 30, a number of public events are canceled or their number is limited: up to 300 people indoors and up to 600 people outdoors. So far there is no ban on weddings, as, for example, it was done in Italy.
In Ukraine, the reception of newlyweds at registry offices was canceled for the duration of the quarantine. And the Azerbaijani authorities, due to the threat of coronavirus, called on the population of the country to postpone wedding celebrations and any other public events in the coming months. Many governments are following suit and asking citizens to organize only family celebrations rather than global events.
A different format of celebration is an excellent alternative to the usual wedding
Young people, due to their insolvency, often wonder why a wedding must necessarily be traditional with many guests, a good table and attributes that are usually present at such celebrations. After all, you can come up with something more interesting, while saving a considerable budget, which can be spent on the needs of a young family. From a practical point of view, this is the correct approach.
What if this wedding becomes the only one in your life? It would be unreasonable to miss such an event and replace it with a symbolic painting. Maybe it’s not worth throwing a fancy buffet. But you should try to celebrate this day in such a way that it will be remembered for a lifetime. Moreover, a wedding is a beautiful ritual of uniting the destinies of people who have decided to walk the path of life together.
The oath is also of great importance. Pronounced in the presence of close people, it acquires the greatest significance for the bride and groom. After all, these are the words that one often has to remember in later family life. Sometimes the memory of your own oath helps you make the right decision in favor of your family when difficult times come.
What to do?
Hoping for the best and not canceling the celebration
In this case, you risk that quarantine measures may be strengthened and the holiday may be cancelled. Plus, you will be very nervous and worried throughout the preparation. If you are determined not to cancel the holiday, talk it over with the entire team of wedding specialists. Maybe some of them, on their own initiative, will decide to self-isolate and not be exposed to danger.
Also check with florists and decorators about the availability of all the necessary materials for work - there may be supply problems right now. Contact the guests and inform them of your decision, and find out if they want to be at the celebration under the current circumstances. Do not be offended and threaten to ruin your relationship, remember that we are talking about health.
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Get married without a big celebration + arrange a wedding online
If the very thought of postponing or canceling your wedding really upsets you, then the best solution would be to celebrate this day together. A magnificent celebration can be arranged at the end of quarantine or for a wedding anniversary! Find out from the registry office information about the possibility and conditions of registration. You can still get married as planned. Just the two of us at the registry office. Yes, this is not what you dreamed of, but it is temporary.
And on the day of painting, arrange a video conference with friends. This will be your online wedding, one of the most unique in all history!
Move the wedding to the fall
This is a very reasonable decision if you want a magnificent wedding that will be remembered by all guests and loved ones. Discuss your decision with wedding specialists and the banquet venue and check the possibility of transferring registration at the registry office. Now many contractors are cooperating because they understand the seriousness of the current situation.
Many contractors have now moved their training remotely. You can also look for a team, discuss wedding details with them, plan the concept and style.
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Cancel the celebration in anticipation of a calmer period of time
If you doubt the timing of the postponement of the celebration and are worried that you will have to change the date again, inform your loved ones, guests and contractors that the holiday is postponed indefinitely due to the current situation in the world. Be sure everyone will adequately perceive your decision, and as soon as the whole situation is resolved, you can set a new date and prepare for the holiday without unnecessary worries!