A wedding is an event that has been built according to rituals, customs and traditions since ancient times. Everything at the celebration is subject to strict rules. Initially, the bride and groom get dressed. Even this moment is symbolic.
In Ancient Rus', only happy married relatives were involved in dressing girls. It was generally believed that they were capable of bringing happiness to the family of young spouses. After the newlyweds are ready, one of the oldest rituals takes place - the bride ransom ceremony. Nowadays it has certainly changed and become somewhat different.
The origins of the wedding tradition
If you delve into the old days, to your ancestors, you can learn from history that they always had a bride ransom ritual. Previously, it was not customary to marry a bride from one’s own village. It was believed that there were only relatives in the village. Even fifth cousins were considered close kinship. Everyone up to the seventh generation was considered relatives.
Therefore, the young men went to the neighboring village in search of their beloved. They were, of course, not always greeted there with bread and salt.
To further intimidate the groom, he took his groomsmen with him, who formed a kind of squad. To this day, this bride ransom ritual has been preserved. When a young man goes to his bride’s house, he always comes with his friends and a witness.
They absolutely did not want to give the bride to a stranger. At that time, the girl had extra hands. And since everything was done by hand, extra hands were extremely necessary. In addition, among the Slavs, absolutely all household chores fell on women’s shoulders. The weaker sex even painted houses and paths. The father and his relatives did not want to give up their daughter just like that, so the man had to fight for her.
This appeared to be mostly in the form of cash ransom, which was colored in a game form. If the Kazakh peoples had a traditional bride price, then the Slavs had no such thing. The groom came with his groomsmen, carried out tasks from the bride's friends and paid them money. Only after this could the bride be given away. It was believed that it is the traditional observance of rituals that gives the family a happy family life.
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The Slavs had another interesting custom, which is called bride substitution. An old widow or an ugly young lady and a bride were hidden under the veil. It was necessary for the groom to understand under what veil his betrothed was sitting. If he guessed right, he could get married. If the answer is incorrect, you must either marry someone else or pay the bride’s parents again.
Bride ransom: a beautiful tradition or unnecessary clownery?
Bride ransom has become a good wedding tradition and has been strictly observed at all times. Actually, a modern wedding begins with this custom. Without a doubt, over the years the ceremony has undergone many changes, now it is more modernized and simplified.
The very tradition of bride price does not even involve payment, but observance of the ceremony. And often, when planning a wedding day, the newlyweds do not even have doubts about holding this cheerful ceremony. “How can this be, without ransom?! It’s also a MUST!” And although many modern newlyweds have already lived together for a certain number of years (!) before marriage, they sincerely believe that they can’t do without a ransom (we’re talking, rather, about brides). But not all newlyweds and even representatives of the older generation know the history of the origin of this ritual. There is such a thing as a relic of the past, and, most likely, ransom falls into this category. Let's delve a little deeper into the history of the origin of this custom and try to find its connection with our modern life (if any).
The history of the emergence of the tradition of the morning bride price goes back far into the past. Hospitable Rus', as you know, adored various festivals, and the bride price was a real spectacle; they always prepared for it for a long time and carefully. At a modern wedding, bride price is just a game, however, before this ritual had very serious connotations.
There are many versions of the appearance of this ritual. The simplest and most widespread version was that in Rus' the groom was obliged to thank the bride’s parents with valuable gifts for giving away their daughter, who would become his wife and mistress of the house. Something like compensation. In particular, in the villages, in the overwhelming majority of cases, people took wives not for love; no one was interested in the spiritual qualities of the bride, even less so. All she had to do was do housework. Therefore, the ransom could be equated to market trading when buying livestock, for example...
However, another, much more ancient story seems more truthful. Once upon a time, our ancestors, fearing incest, which was quite possible among one tribe, chose a bride for a young man among the girls of another tribe. More often than not, this neighboring tribe was, if not hostile, then not entirely friendly. Therefore, it was possible to get a girl from another tribe through either military action or long and difficult negotiations, which often required significant material costs. Today, of course, the path of the groom to the bride is no longer so thorny, but the custom of ransoming the bride has still survived to this day.
The question arises: are we ransoming a bride from a hostile tribe, or are we trying to compensate her parents?
It is also worth considering the fact that the tradition of ransom itself appeared at the very bottom - among the peasants. So why do people still follow this ritual if there are no grounds or reasons for it for a long time? Why, on the most important, and perhaps the most precious day of our lives, do we still adhere to this particular peasant custom? Maybe it's time to get rid of stereotypes and templates? After all, every peasant woman in those ancient times dreamed of being a noblewoman, a queen... But in the palaces, weddings were completely different: beautiful ladies and gentlemen, string quartets, chic and splendor. There was no talk of any ransom, solving riddles or dragging logs in front of the palace! At the wedding ball, the bride and groom were the true kings of the evening, and the whole holiday was just for them. Of course, Vanka from the village plowed all year and his soul demanded a holiday, he took a friend-accordionist and they followed the bride with songs, collecting the whole village along the way. Really, when else will you have so much fun?
Now let’s remember how bride ransom takes place in our time - the same PEASANT custom. Although, in fact, we do not even truly observe it. Now it’s more of a clownery... The poor groom and his witness, who got ready and dressed up so carefully and responsibly in the morning, before going home the bride is obliged to behave like jesters, ride a scooter between glasses, pull this “daisy”, guess the size of the mother-in-law’s left leg, etc. . etc., and the fresh and beautiful bride gets to the already shabby, tired and, sorry, sweaty groom! Let’s also take into account that the groom, perhaps a serious and respectable man for a long time, is obliged to entertain the public and neighbors in this way... And one more thing: this action usually takes place in our shabby, green entrances with various funny inscriptions on the walls like: “Vasya is a fool” (of course, this is the most harmless inscription in our entrances, don’t you agree?) And, what’s the saddest thing, photographs from the ransom from these entrances become the first in wedding albums!
Here is an excerpt from the text on one of the sites for preparing the bride price. The author gives advice to future newlyweds (we quote in full): “Often the scene of the symbolic ransom of the young bride turns into a protracted story of the groom’s torment. Frankly, neither the public nor the groom himself gets pleasure from the ineptly organized process and script. At the same time, they often forget to ask the latter whether he agrees to participate in the performance at all. Before arranging a ransom, ask your betrothed if he is ready to take part in this action. If the groom does not have artistry, sparkling humor and quick reactions, he is unlikely to enjoy the role of an object for torture. Try to make the task as easy as possible for him. Remember, ransom is a game that is arranged only to bring joy to everyone, including the groom”...Curtain...
A game? Bring joy? The joy in the ransom process is probably only experienced by the grannies from the next door, watching these “torments” of the groom, or by the already inebriated relative of the bride, who received his bottle of vodka from the witness as a ransom. Here’s some more advice for the groom from the same site (moreover, the author writes it with complete seriousness and knowledge of the matter): “Take the redemption procedure as a way to unwind and relieve nervous tension before registration. Like a kind of exam. And you should prepare for the exam the day before: remember the dates that are important for both of you, practice drinking salty, sweet and sour vodka, exchange more small items at the nearest store, not forgetting about all sorts of things to buy: candy, fruit, souvenirs and flowers. Read wedding buyout scenarios on the Internet so you know what to be prepared for.”
Yeah, the groom will have a good time getting divorced before registration! And the tension will be relieved. And, of course, he will repeat all these stupid dates and drink salted vodka at night...
There are also so-called ransom quests, when the groom and his friends come to a certain place and look for the bride on the map - just cross-country orienteering! In general, bullying the groom depends on the imagination of the bridesmaids and the bride herself 
The conclusion suggests itself: the rite of modern ransom no longer in any way relates to the old traditions (and even if it does, then only to the traditions of the very “lower classes”). It has completely changed and no longer makes any sense. And few people can answer the question: why is a ransom needed at all? But because someone NEEDS it! Don’t you really want to feel like a king and queen in the morning and carry this title all day? This is your day, your holiday! Have pity on each other and your friends. And you can have a lot of fun and laugh at the celebration itself.
How to replace the ransom, and how to make your wedding morning BEAUTIFUL - you can read in the continuation of the article HERE.
Slavic bride ransom ritual
From the very morning, one of the important rituals awaits all guests, namely the bride price, traditions. Since a man is the head of the house, he must prove that he is able to win a woman’s heart. For this, a ransom ritual is used.
The groom and his groomsmen went to the bride's house. A large number of onlookers were already gathering near the house. These were not only relatives, but also neighbors. Children came in large numbers and needed to be treated to sweets.
The groom and his friends had to have treats and money ready. Initially, the bride price ritual was organized by the bride's in-laws and parents. Then the girl’s friends took over this tradition. Currently, it is the girlfriends who organize and host the celebration.
The girls came up with and developed a whole scenario, which the young man had to follow. He had to complete many tasks in order to reach his beloved. At that time, the man had a positive attitude towards the tasks, because he understood that they were necessary in order to ensure a happy family life.
Most of the tasks were based on ingenuity. The young man also needed to show his own strength. The groom's friends could help with the tasks.
If a man performed all the instructions poorly, then in the end he was given a completely different girl, and perhaps even an old woman. This was done for fun. At the end, of course, a beautiful bride was brought out. Currently, a similar scenario has been preserved, but more and more often they dress a man as a young lady. This cannot but cause applause and genuine laughter.
On the evening before the ransom, the bride and her friends had to cook porridge. How much she annoyed her indicated that the marriage was based on love, and not on calculation. The future husband and his friends were presented with porridge in order to convince them of the girl’s feelings.
How to prepare for a bride price?
So, in general terms, you already know how to ransom a bride, but what to offer as ransom?.. Here, as they say, all means are good! Champagne, sweets, fruits and other sweets, and, of course, banknotes will be used. Since bride price is the only event that pays attention not to the denomination of banknotes, but to their quantity, it makes sense to stock up on small banknotes, but in large quantities. It will be fun and perky to trick the bridesmaids a little by offering them a bag of gold for the girl, in reality paying with chocolates in the form of coins in gold foil!
Obstacles to the groom at the bride ransom ceremony
The groom and his friends need to participate so actively in the events that everyone around them is confident in the bright feelings of the young spouse. But even if they are confident in this, the bride’s friends will in any case insist on the trials that they will have to go through.
Initially, they ask the groom's matchmakers to tell him how good he is. The witness must prepare a short and succinct speech in advance. He will have to name as many positive characteristics of the young man as possible.
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But the bride's friends cannot just listen to flattering words about the groom. They may ask you to name all his characteristics that begin with the letter "e". This will be much funnier and more interesting. In this case, it can be established that there should be at least 10 words.
An obligatory part of the ransom is to check the young man's knowledge of the bride. He may be asked to guess the eyes, lips, weight, silhouette of the bride. In this test, it is very important not to make mistakes and guess absolutely all the important points.
One of the popular tasks involves guessing and matching dates and events. In this case, it is worth including not only the bride’s birthday, but also the mother-in-law, future father-in-law, date and day of acquaintance. As a comic test, you can write the day of a solar eclipse. On the one hand, it will be quite funny, but on the other hand, you will slightly confuse the groom.
Where to spend it?
Traditionally, the ceremony was held in the bride's house. Now many continue to follow this custom, meeting the groom on the threshold of the newlywed's house. However, this is not the only place where a ransom can be arranged.
When deciding on the location of the event, do not forget about its festive decor. You can use ribbons, balloons, fresh or artificial flowers, photographs of the newlyweds.
Where can you conduct a ransom other than at home?
- In the fresh air . The picturesque corner of the park will allow you to organize the action itself in an interesting way and take beautiful photographs. The bride can be hidden in a cute gazebo.
- On the territory of a country house . The house does not have to belong to the bride; you can simply rent it or ask friends to provide a house for a while.
- In a spacious hotel room . Often, young people book a room for a photo shoot, including for getting ready for the bride before the wedding. The ransom can also be carried out there. You just need to check with the administration whether they will be against such an event.
- In the mall . Original girlfriends can make a ransom in the form of a quest for the groom, forcing him to walk through different departments in search of his betrothed.
The custom of unbraiding the bride's braids
The day before the wedding ceremony, the bride's mother braided the girl's last girl's hair. On the wedding morning it was customary to unravel it. In general, the braid was a powerful symbol of a girl’s life with her parents. It was believed that a married girl could not braid only one braid. This meant that she would soon be widowed or her married life would be unhappy.
There were several scenarios for conducting this ritual. Some tribes cut off a girl's braid, thereby tearing her away from unmarried life. But still, the majority simply unbraided the braid, leaving a beautiful wide wave on their hair.
On the one hand, it turned out to be an interesting and beautiful hairstyle. On the other hand, it showed the young lady’s submission to her husband. This meant that the girl was ready to get married and had already said goodbye to her old life.
Ransom in quest format (video)
The bride's friends prepared a very unusual test for the groom. Quest in the summer, this is an excellent alternative to ransoming at the entrance or house (wedding of Mukhamet and Leysan, Ufa):
Whether to follow ancient traditions or not is up to each couple to decide for themselves. If you like Russian customs, then you need to carefully prepare for the ransom. All participants in the action should know their roles and the approximate scenario, then the event will be fun and interesting.
Supporters of modern trends can turn to alternative options, because creating your own traditions is no less exciting.
Bottom line
As surprising as it may sound, at present a fairly small number of rituals and customs have been preserved from ancient Slavic times. All of them have changed very much, becoming completely different. This happened due to the merger of several tribes. In general, if we talk about the celebration itself, the general points have certainly been preserved.
But with each generation, more and more completely new customs come into the wedding ceremony, and accordingly the old ones are forgotten. Modern wedding celebrations are, of course, quite different from those held by Slavic ancestors. Currently, fewer and fewer rituals are based on symbolism; much attention is paid only to beauty.
How to prepare for the groom?
To prevent the ransom from turning into a real torment for the groom, he needs to think through some points in advance .
- Check with your girlfriends whether you will need any specific items for the sale.
- Stock up on sweets, chocolate, champagne, fruit.
- Carry cash with you. It can be bills, coins, antique or even fake money.
- Prepare informatively: remember important dates together, names of relatives, clothing sizes, lover’s shoes, etc.
- You can prepare tips with affectionate names and characteristics of your beloved.
- Find out the exact time when he should arrive for ransom and its approximate duration.
- Bring with you creative and resourceful friends who will not get confused in any competition.
Features of a fun scenario for bride ransom
If you are planning to organize a bride ransom, then 10-20 minutes are enough to carry it out. You should not delay the procedure for too long. When coming up with competitions, first think about whether the groom can complete them. There is no need to mock him too much, he is already worried, and you still risk ruining his mood. Let the tasks be simple so that he feels like a winner and worthy of his beloved.
Below are funny and simple tasks that will appeal to both the groom and his witness, and the bride and groomsmen. You don't need much to run these types of competitions. How to organize a bride ransom? On the Internet, in special wedding magazines, there are many scenarios and videos about how to conduct a bride ransom. After all, not a single wedding takes place without a ransom. Here are some competition options you can do.
- If the bride lives in a multi-story building, a letter is written on each step, and the groom, climbing each step, says affectionate words that begin with that letter.
- Another very funny option: the witness is given an apple with matches, and he must draw out all the matches, naming all the good qualities of the groom with each one.
You can also place signs with questions about the bride on the steps, and the groom, in turn, going up the steps, must answer questions; if he does not know the answer, he pays a fine.
Well, what is a wedding without surprises and surprises? You can make such a surprise for the bride and groom: edit a video with photographs of them when they were little, their first meetings and dates. It will be interesting for both young people and guests. Any wedding should be full of interesting moments and surprises that will be remembered for a long time. And the video is an eternal memory, and children will be able to watch it, and they themselves will have something to remember. Remember that all competitions should be unique and unusual, and not something that everyone knows. A wedding should be fun. A lot depends on the competitions here, because everyone will be filmed, so think about fun competitions in advance so that when you watch the video you will still be interested in a couple of years later.
The “bride price” scenario can be found everywhere, watch videos, look through magazines and newspapers, ask mothers and grandmothers. Watch videos of friends and acquaintances, because crowded competitions can also be interesting and funny for today’s youth. The bride price is always a sea of laughter, jokes, smiles, positivity and good mood. To remember this fun and solemn day, you will have not only memories, but also photos and videos.
