Weddings are different. Solemn and not very solemn. In compliance with some style, and simply “ran into the registry office on the way to work.” And no one can ever guarantee that compliance or, conversely, non-compliance with some signs means a long family life. But still, there are traditions, and a huge number of newlyweds listen to them. One of the traditions is witnesses at a wedding. Well, since there is a rule, there are also clarifying questions. Can a married person be a witness at a wedding? What should they do? Is there any responsibility? Let's try to figure out these and other questions.
During the Soviet Union, the presence of witnesses at a wedding was mandatory. Along with those getting married, they put their signatures in the appropriate columns. Thus, indicating that yes, these people really got married. The RSFSR Code on Marriage, Family and Guardianship of 1926 and the resolutions of the Council of Ministers indicate that any adult, capable citizen who was not married at the time of witnessing could be a witness. During the divorce, they allegedly even took money from witnesses (documentary evidence could not be found), they say, they did not keep track of their wards.
Now, in most registry offices, this rule has been abolished, and now the witnesses are more likely to be assistants to the bride and groom. And, therefore, witnesses should be selected based on their qualities, and not on the presence or absence of a stamp in the passport. Quiet and quiet will not do. Hysterical and confused Masha too. After all, at a wedding you need help from witnesses, not an additional source of problems.
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The image of modern witnesses, and, accordingly, their duties, is partly copied from the American bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Let's try to figure out who to take on such a responsible role.
How to choose a witness for a wedding
To make the right choice in the direction of an interested girl, you need to carefully study the qualities of a potential bridesmaid. Ideal set: punctual, responsible and patient girl. The upcoming holiday should be no less important for her than for the bride herself.
Most often the choice falls on a close friend. But a trusting relationship between two women is not always the decisive factor for choosing a witness for a wedding.
A wedding is a holiday for a couple in love. Everything must be perfect. Concerns and organizational issues fall on the shoulders of the assistants. It is necessary to monitor the mood and beauty of the bride, correct shortcomings, and provide psychological support, because the bride is always nervous.
Therefore, if your close circle does not meet the selection criteria, you can and should turn to good friends. The solution can be explained correctly.
In addition to organizing the holiday and worries associated with the responsible approach of a potential witness, the bride is concerned about the issue of signs associated with the wedding.
Can the witness be married?
The modern choice is driven by practical considerations. Previously, it was believed that the assistant should be a young and unmarried girl. There is a sign that promises an unhappy marriage if the accompanying person is married. Today you don’t have to pay much attention to this sign. Cases where the assistant is married and far from young are common. The main thing is that she is a responsible and sensitive woman who wants the celebration to take place at the highest level no less than the bride wants it.
Can my sister be a witness?
When among your friends there is no worthy candidate for an important post, the choice may fall on your own sister. And in this case, the signs do not advise taking her as an accompanying person. This is a bad sign. They used to believe that the sister might be jealous of the bride’s happiness and take it away. Envy may be white, but it will work in the opposite direction. Therefore, it is better to leave the sisters as guests of honor at the wedding, and look for an important assistant among friends and acquaintances.
How many times can you be a witness?
There is no limit to the number of times a woman will take on such a responsible role. On the contrary, if a girl has more than once become a key figure in a bright day, it means that she knows how to organize the process and will probably not let you down.
Organizing a bachelor/bachelorette party
It’s rare that a wedding these days is complete without a bachelor and bachelorette party. The hassle of organizing them most often falls on the witnesses. It is important to choose a program so that you don’t have to cancel the wedding after it. Moreover, if a friend and girlfriend are married, then a too frivolous scenario for this event will not be welcomed by the other half.
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Individual qualities of assistants
Witnesses should not be shy and timid, because they will have to participate in many competitions, some of which will not be too modest. In this aspect, married people have an advantage, because they will not feel constrained and awkward.
Responsibilities of a witness
A huge list of to-dos falls on the girl’s shoulders. It all starts long before preparations for the wedding, and ends much later than the end of the celebration. In fact, for a woman this day is not a holiday when you can relax and get distracted. On the contrary, complete and every second combat training is needed.
What should a witness do before the wedding?
Before an important event, the assistant assists in choosing a dress and the image as a whole. This is not just everyday advice, but full participation.
Another important point is organizing a bachelorette party. Despite the fact that the assistant does everything:
- Choosing a location for a bachelorette party.
- Organization of competitions and gifts.
- Menu development.
- Choosing outfits for girlfriends.
It is also necessary to choose a wedding theme, toastmaster and develop a detailed script. All these troubles begin long before the appointed date of the celebration. The girl becomes a real right hand.
Duties of a witness at a wedding
On the wedding day, the assistant provides all possible assistance in decorating the hall and cars. The first person the bride sees early in the morning should be her friend. All the hassle of dressing the bride and providing moral support falls on the shoulders of the witness.
She must be inseparable from the bride throughout the wedding. It is necessary to help accept gifts, correct the young woman’s makeup, and accompany her to the ladies’ room. The witness is even required to ensure that the plate is full of food and the glass is full of drinks.
What is the role of the witness?
Many have already had the opportunity to observe from the sidelines or from stories what a witness does at a wedding. As we have already found out, the role of a witness in our time is not mandatory, but rather at the request of the newlyweds themselves. It is worth the bride to sort out the duties of a witness at a wedding and discuss the wedding day itself: a list of what is planned, what the witness will do, when to make a formal speech, when the bride will be kidnapped, when and what competitions there will be.
Choose a lively, active friend as your witness
The witness's speech at a wedding should be one of the brightest and most memorable. She often helps the toastmaster in various undertakings. And first of all, everyone has heard about what a witness should do at a wedding: at the bride’s request, help put on a wedding dress and apply makeup, sometimes even discuss the purchase together. Often, holding and preparing a bachelorette party the day before the wedding is also carried out by the witness, since the bride may no longer have the strength or time left before the holiday itself.
Everyone associates the image of a witness at a wedding with a lively, cheerful, active girl who has an answer to everything and will find a witty way out of every situation, but at the same time responsible and ready to completely dress the bride from head to toe and carry out her instructions before going to the wedding. MARRIAGE REGISTRY. The best option is when all the competitions and words of the witness at the wedding will be discussed in advance, recorded, and sometimes rehearsed.
Very often, a witness at a wedding helps her friend not only with her hair and dress on the holiday, but also at an earlier stage of preparation for the celebration: she chooses a dress and jewelry with her, and advises on organizing the holiday. This is especially true if you decide not to involve a holiday agency and plan everything, organize all the competitions and prepare on your own.
The bridesmaid will help the bride put on her dress and fix her hair
The role of a witness at a wedding is very important and responsible. While helping to make the bride an unforgettable holiday, the witness at the wedding should not forget that this is not her holiday, and not turn attention to her person, as sociable and cheerful people are in the habit of doing. Although a little innate acting skills will definitely make the holiday a success!
Signs for a witness at a wedding
According to the sign, the witness should not be dressed in white or black. It is best if the color of the dress is pink, blue or gold.
When the witness helps the bride during the morning preparations, you cannot look in the mirror with the bride. Otherwise, the witness may steal the groom.
Before going to the registration hall and already leaving the house, the witness must pin a safety pin to the bride's dress to protect against the evil eye. The sign says that on the wedding day, a whole stream of energy and wishes falls on the bride. The aura may not withstand such an onslaught, but the pin will protect.
A witness at a wedding cannot walk in front of the bride, only behind or to the side. Also, the bridesmaid should carefully ensure that the bride does not touch the empty ring box. According to the sign, this promises an empty and poor life for the newlyweds.
Another sign is unfamiliar, but it was followed before. When all the guests shout “Bitter” to the young people, the witness should shout “Sweet!” It used to be believed that the witness was closest to the bride, and her wishes would be the first to come true.
Bride's side
There should be an important person on each side of the bride and groom. Who could it be? Witnesses at the wedding! It has already been said that it is necessary to choose 1 person on each side - both from the bride and from the groom. At the same time, it is important to remember: the girl is nominated on her side, and the man on his side.
The future wife should choose one girl among her friends who will always be nearby. This is my friend. At the wedding she plays the role of a witness. At the table she is seated closest to the bride.
The witnesses are, one might say, the best friends of the hero of the occasion. And they play a really important role. Especially if you hold a wedding with ransom and kidnapping of the bride. But more on that later. First, remember that there can be no more than one witness at one celebration. This is an important rule. But there can be as many (ordinary guests) as you like.
Witness at a wedding - signs to choose
Grooms are less excited about the wedding, but this does not mean that you can be careless in choosing a witness. The groom's witness is an equally important assistant.
The groom needs to remember that the witness must have a sparkling sense of humor and excellent speaking skills. After all, the bride price and other rituals will fall on the shoulders of the witness. In addition, the groom will also need help in organizing the celebration, and who else but the witness at the wedding will be the best adviser.
Is it possible for married people to be witnesses?
According to the sign, witnesses at a wedding should be unmarried and unfamiliar people. They can be in love with each other, but they should not be married. The sign came from ancient times and it was from there that the belief arose that witnesses at a wedding often become the next candidates for the newlyweds.
How to Select Suitable Witnesses
Most often, newlyweds choose people from their closest circle as boyfriends and girlfriends. Now their functions are quite conditional, because they do not need to sign anything at the registry office.
In our country, as a rule, preference is given to young people who are single or in a relationship to perform the functions of witnesses. It can also be two girls or two guys.
You need to choose wisely to make the holiday fun. In addition, it is better for them not to abuse alcoholic beverages too much.
You also need to know at what age you can be a friend of the groom or a bridesmaid. So, there are no restrictions on this matter.
Ideal witnesses should have the following qualities:
- Responsibility;
- Communication skills;
- Great sense of humor;
- Intelligence;
- Pleasant appearance.
Responsibilities of a witness
The witness, just like the witness, begins preparing for the wedding long before the appointed date. He is the right hand, personal psychotherapist and manager all rolled into one.
On the wedding day, the groom's friend should help him get ready and make the last important calls to organize the celebration. It is the witness who goes to the restaurant on the eve of the wedding and checks the readiness of the hall and makes the final adjustments.
The tradition of taking assistants to a wedding is associated not only with signs, but also with a colossal workload, most of which is taken on by the witnesses at the wedding.
The importance of having witnesses at the ceremony
The role of witnesses during a wedding ceremony cannot be underestimated. The guy and the girl are spiritually responsible for the family they have created, and for believers this is a very responsible mission. If a couple has planned a sacrament, their friends must undergo baptism, have crosses on their bodies, and dress appropriately (the girl must cover her shoulders and head with a scarf). Although the groomsmen “only” have to hold the crowns over the heads of the young couple, it is not easy to do this for 40 minutes. Perhaps in this case the bride and groom should take care of assistants for witnesses
.
Obviously, witnesses can rest more or less only on the 2nd day of the celebration, and even then if it is held at an unofficial stop - in nature or a youth cafe.
Relatives and friends. A wedding is a wonderful event. It has various signs and generally accepted customs. Witnesses play an important role in this holiday. Therefore, it is worth deciding in advance who exactly is capable of holding this position. What should witnesses do? Who can get this position? Understanding this is not as difficult as it seems!
Mutual functions of witnesses
The best man and witness at a wedding take on an important mission; there are a lot of subtleties that need to be thought through and resolved. And these are not just words of support, but actual help. They monitor the appearance of the bride and groom. They organize a bachelorette party and a bachelor party if they are included in the plans of the newlyweds. They decorate wedding processions and maintain a positive mood throughout the holiday. That is why witnesses at a wedding should have a light disposition, oratory skills and not be shy. The more activity, the better.
Selection of witnesses
Many modern couples do not think about signs, considering them a relic of the past. The main thing for them is that the witnesses are faithful assistants on whom they can rely and share a happy wedding day.
But there are impressionable brides for whom it is not so easy to brush aside the signs associated with the choice of witnesses. Men rarely believe in superstitions; for them they are not decisive in the question of whether this or that person can be a witness at their celebration. But, not wanting to cause the bride additional worries, the groom can follow her lead. In this case, the couple carefully approaches the solution to the problem.
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Married friends
The most famous sign about witnesses says that newlyweds should not invite married friends to this honorable role. It is believed that a married couple of witnesses gives their marital happiness to the young. It happened that soon after the wedding the witnesses separated. The same result was expected in the case where only one of the witnesses was married.
Here one can trace the contradiction between church tradition and folk wisdom, because in ancient times, when marriage was contracted by the church, a married couple was not prohibited from being witnesses. On the contrary, it was believed that they would protect the happiness of the newlyweds.
Divorced witnesses
If you are a superstitious bride, then do not choose witnesses from among your divorced friends. Our ancestors said that their misfortune passes on to the bride and groom, and therefore one cannot expect a calm life. Young people, according to the sign, will often quarrel and find out who is right and who is wrong. Such relationships can lead to breakup. Therefore, divorced acquaintances were not trusted with the honorable role of assistants to the young couple.
Relatives as witnesses
Many years ago, relatives were not allowed to be witnesses at a wedding. At that time, arranged marriages were common, when the bride and groom were brought together by their parents. In this case, during the process of concluding a union, witnesses had to confirm the agreement of the girl and the guy with the decision to marry them. Relatives, as interested parties, could lie.
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The times of arranged marriages are over, so now no one sees anything reprehensible in having witnesses chosen from among relatives. These are the people closest to the newlyweds who you can rely on in organizing the celebration without any fear. Therefore, you should not think long about the question of whether a brother, sister or uncle can be a witness at your holiday.
Widows and widowers
It is not advisable to take widowed friends or acquaintances as witnesses. It is believed that one who has lost his happiness will not be able to bring it to the newlyweds. Our ancestors also believed that in a future family, the death of one of the spouses would be possible.
Witnesses at a wedding - signs for the happiness of the newlyweds
Since ancient times, wedding assistants have been considered the guardians of the young. According to the sign, evil spirits will be nearby on the day of the celebration. And the task of the witnesses is to confuse and deceive her. Outwardly, the main assistants also look like a couple in love: they are festively dressed, cheerful and maybe even in love. The dark force will become entangled and will not be able to harm the newlyweds.
Not everyone believes in evil spirits today, but there is some truth in superstitions. A huge number of people gather at the wedding. Each of them directs their own flow of energy, even if it is positive. This is a big blow to the energy of the young couple, which is not easy to withstand.
Witnesses perform certain rituals and actions for the future happiness of the newlyweds. For example, the witness always keeps a white thread ready. It will be needed if the bride accidentally drops her engagement ring.
A friend places an open lock at the threshold of the newlyweds' house, and after the now husband carries his beloved into the house in his arms, he closes the lock with a key and throws it away. Thus, the happiness of lovers is under reliable protection.
In addition to the pin, the witness can hem the hem of the bride's dress with red thread for good luck. One inconspicuous stitch is enough.
Wedding superstitions related to groomsmen
In the modern world, many do not believe in the existence of evil spirits. But still, superstitions remain an integral part of the lives of most people, especially when it comes to weddings and the further family life of a couple in love. The celebration attracts a huge number of guests sharing their energy with the newlyweds. Not everyone can withstand such a blow.
To protect the young, witnesses perform certain actions and rituals:
- One of the main tasks of witnesses is to confuse evil spirits and protect the young couple. To do this, they dress festively, have fun, and create the image of a loving couple.
- To prevent the bride from being jinxed, the groomsman hems the hem of the wedding dress and pins it with a pin.
- The witness must carry a white thread with him. It is threaded through the ring in case the bride or groom accidentally drops it during the painting. After this, the thread is burned.
- To prevent a stranger from crossing the path of the newlyweds, witnesses walk in front of the couple.
- Before the groom carries the bride over the threshold of the house, the best man places an open padlock on it. After the ceremony, the witness closes it, gives it to the young people, and throws away the key.
- During the feast, the best man and groomsman should shout “Sweet!” in response to the shouts of the guests “Bitter!”
- At the end of the festive banquet, the witnesses must kiss. In this way they will protect the newlyweds and take away the negativity of the guests present.
- It is believed that if the best man and groomsman are overcome by passion and sleep together after the wedding, this will strengthen the union of the young people.
The functions of witnesses and the signs associated with them add special magic to a joyful event. All newlyweds dream that this day will be the happiest and most memorable for them, so the choice of assistants should be approached as responsibly as possible. Whether to follow the signs or not is up to everyone to decide for themselves. The desire to create the perfect holiday for the bride and groom is the main sign for witnesses, which should be strictly followed.
From the groom's side
The groom's witness also plays an important role. As you might guess, this is the person who is the best friend of the hero of the occasion. The one whom the groom trusts. Just like on the bride’s side, the future husband puts forward only one witness. It is appointed in advance. Now this is done at the stage of sending out invitations.
The witness is an important person. Some compare this person to the groom's "right hand" at the wedding. He will have to help his future husband in competitions and at ransom. We can say that the groom is the groom's keeper. And the groomsman at a wedding is the bride’s keeper. Previously, their presence was considered extremely important. Now, as already mentioned, this is not a mandatory point for a wedding.
