Witnesses in the registry office - responsibilities and who can be a witness

Criteria for choosing good witnesses for a wedding

As a rule, one of the couple's close friends becomes witnesses to the newlyweds. It’s not easy for those who get married later than all their friends, because according to tradition, the newlyweds’ assistants must be single. It is allowed to choose two girls or guys for these positions, but it so happens that a girlfriend or friend of the bride/groom and her/his boyfriend or girlfriend are invited. You need to select people very responsibly to make the celebration interesting. Incorrectly chosen witnesses only add unnecessary troubles to the newlyweds, especially if they abuse alcohol during the celebration.

Basic requirements for wedding assistants:

Responsibility.
Organizational skills.
Good sense of humour.
Ability to communicate.
Ability to quickly find a way out of difficult situations.
Pleasant appearance.

Unmarried people

You cannot choose two people for a wedding, married, divorced or married to each other. It is believed that a married couple will bring misfortune to the newlyweds, and due to divorced witnesses, the newlyweds may also get divorced over time. It is also not recommended to choose widowers for this position, so as not to repeat their fate, because their family life did not work out one way or another.

Helpfulness

Witnesses should not be lazy; they should have the quality of being willing to help. Therefore, many newlyweds choose their close friends, whom they have trusted for many years, for this position. Some far-sighted brides choose some relative of their husband as their girlfriend, showing respect for his relatives. This is justified, because only a relative can be more interested in the ideal holding of the event than others.

Availability of free time

The witnesses chosen for the wedding should have a lot of free time not only on the day of this important event, but also several days before the celebration. They need to take an active part in preparing/holding the bachelor and bachelorette parties, and this also requires a lot of time. Even if the groom is in charge of preparing the bachelor party, the witness will still have to choose a cultural program, and also have time to get a good night’s sleep after the bachelor party and before the wedding.

Having organizational skills

The presence of organizational skills among witnesses is a mandatory quality when choosing. After all, the wedding will be attended by people who have never even met before, so they may be embarrassed by each other. Witnesses must be organized, direct the celebration in the right direction, introduce people, make them feel relaxed and be able to hide their excitement. Especially if there is no invited toastmaster, then the entire organization of the wedding banquet falls on their shoulders.

What to take to a wedding

Since one of the main tasks of the witness is to monitor how the bride looks, who, as a rule, does not carry a handbag with her during the celebration, she needs

take everything you need for this - a comb, a mirror, a minimum set of cosmetics (lipstick or lip gloss is a must), several hairpins or hairpins, hairspray, spare tights or stockings, powder, matting and wet wipes, adhesive tape, painkillers. If you are planning a wedding, be sure to take a headscarf as well. Many newlyweds choose boutonnieres or ribbons for witnesses so that they stand out among the guests; they need to be worn at home or taken to the registry office.

The witness must take care not to forget anything for the ransom ceremony. To do this, you need to take small change, bills, champagne, wine, sweets, fruits; this is a standard set and usually it is enough to pay the presenters. It will be necessary to stock up on all this in case the bride or her shoe is stolen. Also, the witness should take champagne, a towel, rings and passports from the car before registration; if after the painting it is planned to shower the newlyweds, you need to take everything necessary for this - grain, rose petals, sweets. It is also advisable to buy a bouquet for the witness. In addition, witnesses must be patient, self-possessed and in a good mood.

What should witnesses do at a wedding?

Bridal assistants have official wedding duties that they must uphold. Therefore, when choosing a newlywed, they need to take into account the fact how much a person can cope with the assigned tasks. Watch video tips from a professional wedding planner on what a witness should be like and his responsibilities on that day:

Responsibilities of a witness

The duties of a bridesmaid include:

selection and fitting of a wedding dress;
decoration of the banquet hall;
organizing a table in a restaurant;
being with the newlywed every minute on the day of the celebration.

It is important that the bridesmaid is not dressed too extravagantly, and understands that she is not the main person at the celebration. The girlfriend should not be completely different from the newlywed in terms of clothing style, so as not to steal attention in wedding photos and videos. The witness takes an active part when the bride ransom takes place and makes sure that nothing is forgotten on this day.

Responsibilities of a witness

The duties of the groom's assistant include:

assistance in all organizational matters;
wedding car decoration;
organization and process of bride price;
organization and participation in a bachelor party;
assistance to the toastmaster in conducting all events;
restriction in alcohol intake;
creating a cheerful holiday atmosphere.

Guardians of marriage

Witnesses are usually friends of the newlyweds. They take on the entire burden of organizational issues throughout the wedding. Among other things, it depends on them how the bride price will go. If the groom can hesitate, then the boyar never does. There is a joke about this about a speculator witness who bought the bride and immediately resold her.

So, the witnesses:

main advisers during the selection of outfits and accessories for the bride and groom;
send out wedding invitations;
decorate the newlyweds' cortege;
responsible for hen and stag parties;
monitor the appearance of the bride and groom;
actively participate in the celebration.

They try to follow popular observations and advice on selecting a boyar and cronies, but not quite strictly.

Who can be a witness at a wedding?

According to ancient customs, a witness at a wedding can be a young, unmarried friend of the bride who is not her relative. However, this is just an old tradition, based on beliefs and signs, and at a modern wedding it can be completely neglected.

The main qualities that a witness should have are sociability, originality and the ability to take an unconventional approach to any task, responsibility, and positivity. She organizes the bachelorette party and the wedding itself, so for this role the bride should choose her closest friend who knows her best.

The ideal best man and groomsman - how to choose

The right groomsman is a godsend for the bride. After all, it is she who guarantees that the newlywed will be protected from unnecessary hassle. Let's look at the list below of signs on how to choose a witness for a wedding.

her dress should be light shades : gold, cream, pink, blue, but not white or black;
she should not be a widow : there is no sign that a married witness to a wedding is bad, the main thing is that her husband is alive.
she must be younger , at least by a day, and have different names from the bride;
she should not be expecting a child : today they treat superstition in two ways, and they do not refuse the best friend to be a witness at the celebration because of her interesting position;
she is required not to be related to the bride , even very distant ones, and not to stand near the mirror in front of the bride;
In order to get married successfully, she must make some kind of accessory for the newlywed , which she will wear at the wedding ceremony.

In addition, there are the following signs on how to choose witnesses for a wedding:

An unmarried couple. As the signs say, married witnesses at a wedding are not good. However, it is a good sign if they get married later.
The people's categorical veto of being witnesses is imposed on divorced people.

Who can be a witness at a wedding?

For the groom's best man at a wedding, according to customs, the same requirements apply as for the bridesmaid - he must be an unmarried young man. But in this case, traditions are also often violated; any friend or relative of the groom can play this role.

When choosing, you should focus on the same qualities as when choosing a witness.

THE BESTMAN HELPES THE GROOM IN EVERYTHING BEFORE THE WEDDING AND DURING THE CELEBRATION, SO HE SHOULD BE CHEERFUL BUT RESPONSIBLE.

Who can be taken as a witness at a traditional Russian wedding?

In many cultures there is no concept of “witnesses”, but at Russian weddings they are important guests. Choosing a good witness can be not so easy, especially when two newlyweds do not agree. Try to find a compromise by choosing a truly reliable person who will not let you down on such an important day. It is also very important to pay attention to who can be a witness at the holiday.

Who is suitable for the role of witness?

Best friend. Who, if not your best friend, will provide you with peace of mind on your most important day? If your friend is reliable, decent, and you can easily trust him with some organizational issues, he can become an excellent witness!
A work colleague or close friend. It happens that your best friend cannot become a witness to the groom at the upcoming wedding. In such a situation, you can ask a colleague or friend with whom you have a good relationship for help. Don't be shy to say how important the support is to you.
Brother or other relative. If you have a brother or cousin, you can safely invite him to be a witness, since you will be confident in your loved one, who will try to do the best for you.

Important! It is very important that the witness you choose is single and has not previously had a stamp in their passport. Also make sure that the witness and witness are approximately the same age and interests. At the wedding, they will have to work in tandem, participate in competitions and charge the guests with positivity, so there should be no misunderstandings and certainly no hostility between them.

Can married or divorced people be witnesses at a wedding?

The condition that witnesses at a wedding must be unmarried (we are talking not only about family relationships between the bride’s friend and the groom’s friend, but also about marriage in general) is based on a sign. According to her, passion between witnesses on the night after the wedding is the key to a long and happy marriage for the newlyweds.

Another sign says that if the bride's friend and the groom's friend are husband and wife, the relationship between the heroes of the occasion will not be strong. The same thing supposedly awaits future spouses if one or both witnesses are divorced.

However, all this is nothing more than superstition; married or divorced witnesses are not at all a guarantee that the newlyweds’ marriage will be unhappy.

Set your budget

The role of a witness at a wedding may require small expenses. There are things you have to pay for, like a nice suit or bachelor party festivities.

There are also things you might want to pay for, like drinks for guests at the reception, snacks for the groom, bachelor party shenanigans and the like.

Set a budget, do your best to stick to it, and don't be shy about asking your fiancé for a credit card when asked for something that you feel is beyond your responsibility.

Stag

Whiskey by the fire or nightclub? Which bachelor party suits the groom best?

No matter what kind of wedding you are planning, a bachelor party is something that will definitely fall on your shoulders. These days, stag parties are much more interesting and challenging than in the days when alcohol poisoning was proof of a good time.

So help your friend make his bachelor party unforgettable.

Why are witnesses needed?

How the celebration will go depends largely on whether there are witnesses at the wedding. The groom's friend and the bride's friend are the main assistants of the newlyweds during the pre-holiday events (bachelor party, bachelorette party) and the wedding itself.

They do everything to make sure one of the most important days in their friends' lives goes perfectly. The newlywed's friend watches her dress and appearance in general. The best man controls the atmosphere at the wedding, smooths out conflicts between guests, makes toasts and congratulations.

Together with the toastmaster, they conduct competitions and quizzes, helping him with props and making sure that everyone present at the celebration is happy and cheerful.

The importance of having witnesses at the ceremony

The role of witnesses during a wedding ceremony cannot be underestimated. The guy and the girl are spiritually responsible for the family they have created, and for believers this is a very responsible mission. If a couple has planned a sacrament, their friends must undergo baptism, have crosses on their bodies, and dress appropriately (the girl must cover her shoulders and head with a scarf). Although the groomsmen “only” have to hold the crowns over the heads of the young couple, it is not easy to do this for 40 minutes. Perhaps in this case, the bride and groom should take care of assistants for witnesses.

Obviously, witnesses can rest more or less only on the 2nd day of the celebration, and even then if it is held at an unofficial stop - in nature or a youth cafe.

Responsibilities of witnesses during a wedding

What do witnesses do at a wedding? As during preparation, they make sure that the future spouses worry about organizational issues as little as possible and enjoy their celebration.

During the wedding, a witness from the groom's side:

helps a friend buy his bride. The best man should take a few small bills with him, as the groom will probably forget about it;
before the wedding ceremony, the registry office checks that passports and rings are in place;
during a banquet in a restaurant, monitors the behavior of guests and waiters, avoiding conflicts and other unpleasant situations;
doesn't drink too much alcohol.

At a wedding, the bride's friend acts as a maid of honor. Responsibilities of a witness:

carry out a ransom;
carefully monitor the bride’s appearance and inform her if her makeup has rubbed off, her tights are torn, or her hairstyle has deteriorated;
help guests find their seats in the banquet hall;
help the bride accept bouquets and gifts.

BOTH THE BEST MONEY AND THE BRIDESMAN SHOULD COME UP WITH SEVERAL TOASTS AND FAREWELLS TO THE FUTURE SPOUSES. A WITNESS'S TOAST AT A WEDDING MUST BE ORIGINAL AND MEMORABLE.

Signing a marriage registration certificate without witnesses

Witnesses of the bride and groom do not sign the marriage registration certificate during the wedding ceremony at the registry office. The new document does not have a special column for the signatures of representatives of the newlyweds.

If a couple getting married has chosen a non-celebratory setting to register their marriage, there is no need to take witnesses from the registry office at all. Only the bride and groom are allowed into the office where the marriage registration act will be signed, without witnesses or other persons.

Does a witness need a passport at a wedding?

Witnesses at a marriage ceremony at the registry office do not require a passport.

Wedding superstitions

Many wedding superstitions involve witnesses. For example, in ancient times, the groom's friend and bridesmaid were dressed in the same clothes as the newlyweds. This was done with the expectation that the witness would literally replace the newlyweds in the event of an unforeseen situation.

In Rus', witnesses were required to perform small rituals so that the life of future spouses would be happy:

The friend makes sure that the bride is not jinxed. To do this, she pins a pin on the wedding dress and hems its hem.
The best man takes with him white threads, which will come in handy if the bride or groom drops the wedding ring.
At the end of the wedding ceremony, the groom's friend and the bride's friend kiss.

DESPITE THE MANY SUPERSTITIONS AND CUSTOMS, THERE IS NO CONNECTION BETWEEN THE BEHAVIOR OF WITNESSES AND THE LIFE OF THE NEWLYWRIED AFTER THE WEDDING.

Traditions are not so important; the main guarantee of strong family relationships between spouses is love and mutual understanding.

How can witnesses bring happiness to young people according to signs?

People believe that the family will be happy if the bride’s friend wears a golden or pink outfit. These shades are a symbol of financial stability and material wealth. The color pink symbolizes pure and sincere love. A bridesmaid should not choose black dresses or suits - this is a bad sign.

Another way witnesses can bring joy to a family is by pinning pins to the wedding clothes of the newlyweds. This should be done immediately after leaving home or before the wedding. In this way they protect young people from envious glances and negative energy.

Another duty of the best man and bridesmaid, who protects the newlyweds from family troubles, is to pick up empty boxes from wedding rings. If the bride or groom touches them first, then trouble awaits. For the witness and witness, such a wedding sign, on the contrary, symbolizes imminent positive changes in his personal life.

Helpful advice! Those who were invited to be witnesses must take a white thread with them to the celebration. If during the ceremony wedding rings fall to the floor, then using a white thread it will be possible to neutralize the negative meaning of the event. To do this, the witnesses at the wedding must take the ring and thread a thread through it. All the negativity from the decoration will transfer to her.

Other ways that friends of the bride and groom can bring happiness to the family:

during the feast, sit on a corner so that the future spouse “is with the corner”;
in the dining room, discreetly pull the tablecloth towards you to bring the meeting with your betrothed closer or speed up the development of the relationship;
sit on the bride’s chair for a short time (they do this unnoticed);
take a piece of wedding cake from the bride’s hands;
try to catch the wedding bouquet;
quietly take some cutlery (spoon or fork) from the table and store it at home;
make an accessory for your friend: a brooch or a hairpin that she will wear during the ceremony. Make an accessory for your friend: a brooch or a hairpin that she will wear during the ceremony.

Read more about other wedding signs and customs.

How to choose witnesses for a wedding: signs

Popular superstitions say that if newlyweds choose people who are married to each other as assistants, then the marriage of the witnesses will soon fall apart. Old-timers also say that young people should not be assistants to newlyweds more than twice. The third time they must be the bride or groom at their own wedding, otherwise the Mendelssohn March may never sound for them. It’s good that folk signs don’t always work, so you don’t have to be too superstitious, but choose people based on your own preferences.

Legislative norms

Many newlyweds, when preparing for a wedding, are surprised to learn that the presence of witnesses during the ceremony is just a tribute to tradition , because previously it was possible to enter into a marriage only if not only the bride and groom, but also their chosen representatives signed the relevant documents.

Now, Clause 4, Article 27 of the Federal Law “On Civil Status Acts” clearly states that the presence of witnesses is not necessary . The most important thing is that both newlyweds are present at the union ceremony (although there are exceptions).

The law does not require the presence of other persons at the ceremony except the bride, groom and the registry office representative.

However, if a couple decides to seek the help of witnesses, there are a few things they should keep in mind.

Who can be chosen as a witness, and what legal rights do these persons have?

Any person (preferably an adult), including a relative or family friend, can be chosen as a witness.
This position does not impose any legal duties or rights on the witness.
The groom's witness must be a man, and the bride's witness must be a woman.
Most often, representatives of a couple are distinguished by special red ribbons with the inscription “witness”.

Witnesses are almost always close friends and relatives. They are considered moral support for the bride and groom on such an important day for them. Since the process of concluding a marriage can sometimes be too exciting, the support of a close friend will never be superfluous.

If the bride and groom prefer a non-celebratory ceremony, you should be prepared for the fact that the registry office representatives will not allow anyone other than the couple themselves into the specially designated room. That is why, during a non-ceremonial ceremony, it is better to refuse the presence of witnesses in advance .

Read the article about what expenses newlyweds expect when registering with the registry office. Also, many will find the article about replacing documents after a last name change useful.

What you need to prepare before the wedding

The period of preparation for a wedding is a rather hectic and exciting time, since there is always a fear of forgetting something, not being on time, etc. And here the witnesses become the first assistants of the bride and groom. They help not only in preparing for the celebration, but also make sure that everything necessary is purchased.

Items for which witnesses are responsible for the presence at the ceremony:

Wedding rings, they must be at the ceremony both in the registry office and at the wedding.
The bride's bouquet and its backup (the newlywed throws the second bouquet into the crowd of unmarried girlfriends).
A cushion or saucer for rings.
Towel for the ceremony in the registry office and at the wedding.
Boxes or piggy banks for collecting money during the celebration. Often such items are signed “for my daughter” or “for my son,” and the witnesses are involved in collecting funds.
Everything necessary for competitions (garlands, posters, materials for games, medals, diplomas, etc.).
Wedding loaf and salt shaker for it.
Rose petals, rice or wheat for showering the newlyweds during the meeting from the registry office.
Wedding items (icons, candles, napkins, 2 towels, a scarf for the bride).

Duty of the best man on the wedding day

On the day of the celebration, the best man at a wedding has a huge number of responsibilities, but the most important of them is to be a witness at the wedding, serve the rings to the newlyweds and lay out the wedding towel. During the wedding sacrament, witnesses hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.

More generally, the duties of the witness include assistance in organizing the wedding. He also makes sure that there is a friendly and warm atmosphere at the holiday. The groom's responsibilities also include organizing a bachelor party before the wedding, as well as paying for the bride's ransom (if provided). In addition, he is involved in:

sending out invitations;
decoration of the hall;
car decoration;
organizing competitions (together with the toastmaster), etc.

Another friend of the groom is often involved in establishing relationships between the newlywed and the bride’s parents. With his participation, the distribution of responsibilities during the celebration takes place. Some best men do quite a lot of work in preparation for the wedding, agreeing on the time, dates, number of guests, prices of services and other details of the event. The honorable duty of a witness on the part of the groom is to deliver a solemn speech at the ceremony. It should be carefully prepared and pronounced properly.

It is worth saying that this prospect frightens many men. Not everyone can handle the role of best man, so you should soberly assess your capabilities and, if you are unsure, it is better to refuse.

Bridesmaid

A witness at a wedding is no less an honorable role than the best man. Her main responsibility is to attend the ceremony as a witness and sign the marriage certificate.

If the newlyweds decide to get married, then the bridesmaid holds the crown over the bride’s head during the sacrament, and the best man holds the crown over the groom’s head. An important condition: in order to take part in the sacrament of wedding, the boyfriend and groom must be baptized in Orthodoxy.

Organizing a bachelorette party is also one of the main responsibilities of a girlfriend. In some cases, she even bears all the costs associated with it. In addition, the bridesmaid helps the bride choose an outfit, hairstyle, shoes, accessories, etc. But the main thing that the bridesmaid does is turn the holiday into the bride’s dream.

If there are too many tasks, then the witness should correctly distribute them among the rest of the bridesmaids. The ability to delegate tasks should be one of her main qualities.

If we talk about unofficial duties, then the girlfriend acts as moral support for the bride, because a wedding is a very emotional event. In addition, she can help with inviting guests, choosing gifts for them, and organizing a meeting with a photographer or designer.

How to choose them from friends

To choose the right best man, you need to pay attention to his character qualities. Firstly, this person must have organizational and public speaking skills. Secondly, be responsible and charismatic. Choosing a best man is a case when you should give preference not to a close relative or friend, but to someone who can cope with this role, since a lot depends on his behavior.

Witness mission immediately before the wedding

Best men begin to perform their functions long before the couple arrives at the registry office; they help the newlyweds prepare for the celebration.

The responsibilities of witnesses include:

preparation of a bachelor and bachelorette party, moreover, the organization of the banquet falls entirely on the bride and groom, but their closest friends should take care of an interesting scenario for seeing off a carefree bachelor’s life, and also make sure that the newlyweds do not overdo it with alcohol if the wedding is scheduled for the next day;
assistance in choosing wedding dresses;
distributing bags of coins and grains to guests for showering the newlyweds before leaving for the registry office.

In addition, witnesses have their own tasks at the event. The duties of a witness at a wedding are:

assistance to the hairdresser and makeup artist in preparing wedding hair and makeup;
organization of bride price;
decoration of the entrance and apartment;
accompany the bride throughout the day, helping her with her outfit, makeup, and accessories.

READ ALSO: Wedding evening with family - an alternative to a large banquet

The responsibilities of a witness at a wedding are no less important than the bridesmaids. He must have an excellent sense of humor and ingenuity, and help the groom in every possible way in pre-wedding efforts and in competitions for the bride's redemption.

assistance in car decoration;
pick up the bouquet and bring it to the groom;
make sure everyone has champagne and snacks during the walk;
active participation in the entertainment program and not the banquet.

If a wedding is planned, then the witnesses have the honorable duty of holding the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.

What is expected from a witness at the registry office?

Although the role of best men in the official ceremony is formal, witnesses at the registry office take upon themselves the organization of the ceremony along with the ritual service of the Wedding Palace.

So, in the hall there are friends of the young people:

keep wedding rings ready, are responsible for the safety of jewelry until they are handed over to the assistant ritual leader;
the witness guy uncorks a bottle of champagne and pours the drink into the glasses prepared by the witness;
makes sure that all guests enter the hall and do not get lost among those invited to someone else’s celebration.

Responsibilities in the banquet hall

Friends of the newlyweds will not be able to breathe easy even during the banquet. This is what a witness does at a wedding during the feast:

help the presenter in every possible way in holding competitions, provoke the guests;
we must say a toast in honor of the young with deep meaning;
they make sure that the bride and groom do not need anything - they top up the champagne, remind the waiters to bring out the snacks on time;
help tipsy guests call a taxi and get into their cars;
seeing off the newlyweds after the celebration.

As a rule, guests congratulate the newlyweds after the official ceremony in the restaurant. The couple's friends accept gifts and arrange flowers in vases so that the bride and groom have their hands free and not a single valuable item gets lost.

Obviously, the witnesses will have to give their 100% during the competitions - the host will not leave them alone, since usually the majority of guests are not very active at the events. The newlyweds' friends should correct the situation and infect everyone present with their good mood. In addition, the best man is obliged to ensure that the bride is not kidnapped, otherwise the groom will have to ransom her again.

Witnesses also help the newlyweds during the walk - they are obliged to refill champagne for the young and present guests, do not forget to take baskets with “camping” snacks for the walk, monitor the appearance of the couple - the girl helps the bride powder her nose, straightens her outfit.

Where do the witnesses sit at the banquet?

It is traditional to seat the best men next to the newlyweds. But modern weddings have long moved away from strict canons. It is important that everyone is comfortable. It is not forbidden to seat the witnesses at a separate table, but they must be well acquainted with each other in order to comfortably spend the entire evening together.

READ ALSO: What is the state duty for registering a marriage?

If each of them has his own couple among the guests, then it is not at all necessary to separate them. They can sit at a common table. This will not at all interfere with your wedding tasks.

Dress code for witnesses

If we talk about the best man's clothes, then everything is simple. His outfit is a formal suit or tuxedo. A distinctive feature is a boutonniere made of fresh or artificial flowers.

As for a girlfriend, there are many more rules and criteria. The first thing to remember is that you should never try to outshine the bride. The friend must understand that this is not her holiday, so a white outfit is excluded.

The second point is the frankness of the dress. It should not be provocative or too open. The number of rhinestones, sparkles or other bright details should be kept to a minimum. A crinoline is inappropriate in a witness's outfit - this is the prerogative of the newlywed.

In addition, there is no need to wear high-heeled shoes to the wedding, as there is a lot of work to be done. The ideal option is to take spare shoes with you, and wear elegant shoes only for the official part of the ceremony.