A wedding is a special holiday, for which people always carefully prepare and celebrate “magnificently”. However, each nation celebrates this important day differently; traditions and customs differ greatly depending on the cultural and religious values of the nation.
It is worth noting that the peoples of the Caucasus are the most devoted to traditions; for them, creating a family and procreation is a sacred event; it requires compliance with established rules that are interconnected with Sharia norms. Using an example, we can consider how a wedding takes place in Chechnya - this is a truly large-scale event of extremely important significance.
Getting to know each other
The modern generation in Chechnya prefers to meet people in informal settings, for example, in universities and other public places. Parents rarely interfere in dating a couple. Previously, acquaintance could have taken place at work in a team or special parties. The first ones are called Belkhi, and the parties are traditionally called Sinkyelram.
Public works were carried out when someone from the village needed collective help, for example, in building a large house. The receiving party had to thank the helpers with food and dancing; for fellow villagers, such help was a kind of holiday for workers. Unlike Belzi, the Sinkyelram tradition is carried out purely for the soul and young people gather for entertainment and relaxation.
Today, such traditions are gradually being replaced, but they have been preserved in conservative settlements. Nowadays the younger generation prefers to meet people on the Internet. In earlier times, several dating methods were popular.
- At a relative's wedding. According to tradition, there are usually many invited guests to the celebration. And among them there are often free young girls. While waiting for the event, they sew embroidery on handkerchiefs and take them with them afterwards. If a young man at a wedding likes a girl with such a scarf, he can show her a sign of attention. For example, passing candy or other treats through friends. If the girl is pleased with such attention, she sends her handkerchief with her friend in return and the acquaintance is considered complete.
- The second method is more traditional and a brave man may well invite the girl he likes to a more informal date. In this form, the invitation is transmitted either through friends or through relatives, if they are known to the man.
A conversation about marriage is possible only after several meetings have passed since the first acquaintance and the couple gets to know each other better.
Wedding announcement
After making a key decision about marriage, the couple informs their families and relatives about it. At the same time, the young man must bring his mother a ring or a scarf, which the girl will give him as a sign of her consent to the marriage. The mother-in-law should come to the bride's mother and personally convey this good news. Despite the fact that she is already notified of the event, traditions provide for etiquette. Which obliges the receiving party to express at least surprise, even if it requires acting.
This visit is not considered an obligatory ritual in the case when the young people themselves have agreed on marriage, and the families are not against their union. The mother should visit the girl’s family only if the chosen one for some reason refuses to marry the candidate. After agreements have been reached, when relations between families have already been established, mothers communicate the decision to their husbands. From this moment, preparations for the celebration begin, and on such a scale that sometimes the participation of even distant relatives and acquaintances is required .
Matchmaking stage
Usually 2-3 elders of the clan are responsible for matchmaking the bride - those closest to the groom. They also act as guarantors. If the wedding is ruined due to the fault of the groom, the elders have the right to blame the young man for his ruined reputation. If in the past the elders were responsible for the fate of the girl in front of her relatives, now their role is reduced to simply observing formalities in front of the families.
Another nuance instructs the elders to come to the house not to the bride’s relatives, but to the elders of her family. When the elders decide, the bride's father joins the conversation. At the first meeting, matchmakers are usually politely shown out the door, saying that they need to talk to the girl personally. Her final decision is learned through the women associated with her, such as her mother or daughter-in-law. If she agrees, then the wedding day is set for the second visit of the matchmakers.
Usually in Chechnya the will of a girl is not contradicted. With rare exceptions, she has to submit to the will of her parents, contrary to her own feelings, if circumstances really require it.
Preparing to move
While the groom's family is responsible for selecting the guest list and deciding on important nuances, the bride herself is preparing for the move and packing her bags. In Chechnya, this expression is usually used to refer to the purchase and collection of a dowry, in contrast to Azerbaijan, where the groom's family is responsible for collecting the betrothed's belongings.
The dowry includes clothing, household items, and gifts for the family of the future spouse. In the old days, due to the lack of funds to collect a rich dowry in a short time, girls began to prepare it from an early age. The necessary elements of the dowry were prepared in advance either by the mother, or received as gifts from relatives and friends as help. Nowadays, not only the girl’s reputation, but also her family’s, depends on the dowry and its value.
Chechen wedding traditions
A wedding among Caucasians is considered an important and significant event, since the creation of a new family and the birth of children are key stages in the life of every Muslim. Long-standing traditions and customs of the Chechen wedding have survived to this day. This great and beautiful holiday is decorated with ancient rituals and ceremonies, and the flavor of national culture. A wedding can only take place with the mutual consent of the parents of the bride and groom.
Features of the wedding traditions of the Chechen people
One of the obligatory traditions of a Chechen marriage is a scrupulous check of the future wife’s pedigree through her father and mother up to the third generation in order to exclude incest. The bride is also assessed according to other criteria - reviews of her friends and neighbors, her appearance, the financial condition of her family. A young man who wants to get married must have a significant amount of money, because he is obliged to pay for food for all guests invited to the wedding, matchmaking and bride price.
Chechen matchmaking is original and quite unique. If a young man liked a girl, he would give her candy through a third party. This meant that the guy was interested in the young Chechen woman. If the girl was ready to reciprocate, she gave the young man two handkerchiefs. This ritual continued three times, and only then the young man asked the girl for her final consent to start a family with him. But the last word regarding the upcoming wedding belonged to the father of the Chechen girl.
Bride price and bride price
There is an opinion that the Chechen groom “buys” the bride from her parents. But this is not true - with such an act the groom shows his generosity. The ransom is a demonstration of the young man’s gratitude to the bride’s parents for their beautiful daughter. The amount of dowry is determined by the mullah. The groom's relatives, following custom, give more money than the bride's family. In this way, they show their kind attitude towards the young bride and her family. Traditionally, the bride price was given to the bride as initial capital for family life.
Ritual "Chokhi"
Before a Chechen girl put on her wedding clothes, a bathing ritual was performed. Decoctions of medicinal herbs were added to the water, and the bathroom was fumigated with incense. When the girl’s skin became perfectly clean, wedding symbols were drawn on her - stripes on her arms and back. Then the “Chokhi” ritual took place. The bride's aunts and friends pinned a new needle to the hem of the bride's wedding dress. According to ancient Chechen traditions, she must protect the young woman from the evil eye and dark forces.
The bride's dowry included an ear of corn, beans, apricot and peach pits. This ritual, according to legend, was supposed to help the girl give birth to many children.
The bride was also given a beautiful handkerchief, inside of which there was a ribbon and a silver ruble. A Chechen girl keeps these gifts, as well as the needle from the hem of her wedding dress, all her life as the most expensive sacred gifts.
After the “Chokhi” ritual, the groom’s friends bought the bride. This happened in the girl’s yard, where real fun began, laughter and an argument about who would get the young Chechen bride. The girl collected the dowry, after which the entire solemn procession headed to the groom's house. The guests went home, leaving only the bride's relatives who had come from afar.
Arrival of a mullah for marriage
According to the Koran, the ceremony of concluding a marriage is performed by a Muslim priest - a mullah. First, the ritual is carried out in the bride’s house, and then in the groom’s house. To protect themselves from the evil eye, everyone leaves the house except the future wife, two married women and the best man, whose duty is to lead the bride around the fireplace three times. The best man then breaks the rope or iron chain. This ritual symbolizes the girl's break with her parental family.
The mullah performs exactly the same ritual in the groom’s room, in the presence of two men. Whether they are married or not does not matter. The mullah must have time to perform the ceremony before the wedding procession with the Chechen bride arrives at the groom's house. After the ceremony was carried out in both houses, it was believed that the young people were already husband and wife.
Wedding train
The wedding train is being prepared in the courtyard of the groom's house. His goal is to bring his young wife to his future home. The wedding train consists of many cars. The very first, and also the most beautiful car, is intended for a Chechen bride. In other cars are the mullah, the groom's sister and the wise elders. The procession quickly drives to the newlywed's house, and something similar to a race happens: each driver tries to go faster. The first car for the bride slows down to avoid an accident.
Relatives and guests of the newlywed are eagerly awaiting the solemn procession. After the train arrives, the guests get to know each other and communicate. The atmosphere is cheerful and joyful. The newlywed's parents treat the guests to delicious dishes and drinks. Then, according to the script, a symbolic “matchmaking” begins with national dances - zaokhalool.
The wedding procession takes the bride from her parents' house, everyone goes to the groom's house for the upcoming celebration. There, the newlywed is shown the corner in which she must stand until the end of the festivities.
Tradition "Rug with a broom"
Before the wedding, a Chechen girl must pass one more test - a rug with a broom. Amid cheerful cries and congratulations from relatives and friends, the bride goes out onto a mat laid out near her in-laws' house. She is given a small broom, with which the girl must clean the rug as quickly as possible and show that she is a good housewife. Then the women from the groom's side shower the bride with money and sweet treats. They also give the newlywed a spoonful of honey and oil to try.
What is Kalym in Chechnya
If a dowry is not considered an obligatory thing today, then the modern tradition of ransom has not been supplanted. Now at the legislative level the size of the dowry is limited. This decision was made so that those men who have financial difficulties can also start a family.
The financial part is limited to 30,000 rubles, and products are completely excluded. But if the family wants to please the relatives even more, then they can add additional treats and sweets to the money. A ram can be included in the bride price, but it must be such as not to harm the reputation of the giving family. Marriage stage
In more ancient times, weddings were celebrated after the main harvest, namely in the fall or winter. In modern Chechen culture, weddings can last virtually all year round. The exception is the holy month of Ramadan, when such pleasures and holidays in general are prohibited.
It is interesting that it is not customary for Chechens to register a marriage on their wedding day. Young people go to the registry office after a certain amount of time. Now there are families without a stamp and this situation does not burden anyone; couples live like this for several years in love and harmony. Basically, marriage is done for the public, and the witness is a member of the clergy.
The level of legality of marriage is determined by the Nikyah ritual. The mullah must ask the husband and wife separately whether their decision to marry is voluntary. Recently, the mullah must have received certificates about the health status of the young people, in particular, about the absence of an HIV diagnosis. In the absence of the necessary document, it is not possible to conclude a marriage.
Maria Vlasova.
Journal of Human Potential.
Marriage with a Chechen: how it happens.
. About twelve years ago, for example, I had a vibrant relationship with a man in whose veins five or six blood flowed, and all of them were southern. Handsome as Apollo, however, I have never chosen other men. So that you understand the “dispersion in genes”, his great-grandmother was born in Italy, his grandfather and father are Chechen businessmen living in Moscow, and his mother is from Tatarstan, but there is an “Arab” branch in his mother’s line. He lived in Moscow, called himself a Chechen (like his father and grandfather).
Impulsive, impudent (discount for his young age), could fly into a rage. But after one of our first scandals, specifically the phrase “Be quiet, woman, I’m in charge here,” I... stopped talking to him. To say that this was a shock for him is to say nothing. Three days of silence. At the first he was furious, at the second he was silent and occasionally showed outbursts of aggression (towards himself and the situation as a whole), at the third he almost fell to his knees. After that, all his rage was transformed into energy for doing business. In relationships, he was calm. He even offered to get married, but I decided to return to New York and continue my studies, which he considered a personal insult.
Then it seemed to me that I had found the “secret” of managing men. Later it turned out that the synastry was simply favorable, and the seal of misfortune to the planets of Ramzan deprived him of willpower in the face of my silence (that’s how I read the aspect, maybe you can choose other definitions). The Sun and U7 in the IX house were delayed, and in five years I was going to marry Amir
.
Not a Chechen, Tatar
, purebred and thoroughbred. Beautiful (by default, with Leo on DSC I don’t need to offer others). She knew that, in theory, a Tatar could change, but she was ready for the “transitional” stage and full of hopes to “break the stereotype.” I encountered my first betrayal after six months of marriage (in the period “before the wedding” he was not noticed in this way). She found out, pointedly held the phone under her nose, and began listening to the children’s babble: I’m sorry, the devil got me wrong, I’ll change. And I fell silent. As before, I turned on ignore. I was very surprised when it turned out that he frankly didn’t give a damn about my ignoring. Exactly in such a rough form. “Are you silent? Well, shut up. I’m going to the women,” he seemed to be telling me during the five days that I didn’t talk to him. He didn’t grieve, didn’t beg for forgiveness, didn’t become hysterical. He just didn't care. He woke up, left home, returned at 11 p.m., drank whiskey, and went to bed. On the tenth day, I closed the door to the room, so he went into the guest room. They divorced almost immediately after this situation, they did not acquire any common property or children, so everything went quickly, smoothly and without trial.
Holding a wedding in Chechnya
On the appointed day, friends and relatives from the groom’s side gather and go to pick up the bride. A motorcade can consist of up to 30 cars. Moreover, their presence does not depend on the level of the groom’s financial condition; if there are a large number of relatives and friends, they are required to be invited to the wedding celebration, regardless of the financial factor.
The young people, having arrived at the bride’s house, must choose the best car of their motorcade for her and her closest female relatives and go to the celebration. The mother-in-law meets her at the ceremony site, but the girl’s relatives are usually not present at the event itself. Previously, the bride was accompanied with tears to another family and her relatives had no time for fun. Remnants of the tradition have been preserved in some villages to this day.
Usually, with breaks for snacks, guests dance lezginka to different tunes. At the same time, the bride does not participate in the dances, which can continue until late in the evening. At this time, she receives congratulations from the groom’s relatives in a specially designated place. The girl is allowed to smile, but not to talk. The more modest her behavior, the better for the groom’s reputation.
This ritual is considered a vow of exile. Many young people are ashamed of their upcoming family life and intimacy. In Chechnya, this is an important norm of behavior and not only for a wedding event. It is considered shameful to tell a young man about former boyfriends and matchmakers. For a man's friends, the bride is considered a kind of forbidden fruit, so they will never compliment her. It is because of this that the bride does not dance: other men should not admire her in the absence of the groom.
The ceremony of untying the bride's tongue
The customs of a Chechen wedding in former times provided for its duration to be up to 3 days. In a modern country, a wedding is usually held in a banquet hall in one day. During the celebration, the mother-in-law gives the bride candy for the sweet life, and then she is given to hold the child - a boy, so that they have a boy first, which is important for Chechen families due to a number of privileges.
In the evening of the same day, the ritual of untying the tongue takes place. Relatives and friends should present gifts to her, take a glass of water from her and ask permission. The behavior of a young bride may depend on her character. She may remain silent for a long time and not give water or fulfill other requests. But he can also let you get drunk for a fee.
But if older relatives ask for water, they will definitely be given a drink out of respect, but the groom’s friends and the younger generation will have to fork out a lot in order to get the girl to talk. At the same time, the bride cannot be called greedy; all proceeds go as a gift to the mother-in-law after the ceremony.
Journey to the springs
If there is a spring nearby, then on the second day after the last guest leaves, the bride’s new relatives go with her to him. In cities, such rituals have become obsolete, but in a number of villages they are still valid. A cake must be thrown into the water of the spring, after which one of the groom’s relatives shoots it with a gun.
The sign suggests that a girl who comes to the spring for the first time may be waylaid by a merman. And the cake will serve as a kind of bait and distract his attention. The shot according to the sign should kill the merman, after which the newlywed will be able to walk for water without fear and not be afraid of attacks from evil spirits.
Dowry for a Chechen bride
The main thing you need to know about the dowry of a Chechen bride is that, according to customs, the girl must take all her things to her husband’s house for four seasons, which she will wear for a whole year.
This composition includes the following.
- Fur coats, jackets, coats or raincoats.
- Tights, socks, stockings.
- Underwear.
- Gold jewelry.
And all this should be very beautifully packaged and folded, either in suitcases, or it could be a chest. Each item must be packaged in a separate plastic bag. So that when you open your luggage, your relatives see not a stack of things, but beautiful packages with bows.
Now in the Caucasus, these chores fall on the hands of the relatives of the future husband. But since this takes a lot of time, this is entrusted to specially trained people who can easily help you collect everything you need.
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Stage of meeting parents
A wedding in Chechnya has a large number of signs and this is not all of them. For example, after 3 months, a young bride, accompanied by her new father-in-law and mother-in-law, visits her parents’ previous home with gifts and presents. The evening is spent in a festive atmosphere and a plentiful table. It is believed that after this ritual, the bride can officially visit her parents as much as she wishes.
Next comes the stage of the husband’s visit to his wife’s parents. Moreover, the date of the meeting is set by the host parents without the right of the guest to change it. At the appointed time, the husband must come to the house, accompanied by his sister or brother, or both, as well as his best friend. For men, a table is set in a special room. But the groom cannot sit down with him without a separate invitation from an older male relative of his wife.
Guests can make fun of the young spouse, but he must silently endure everything and endure the test. After the treat, it is customary to leave a gift, in most cases it is money.
During the entire time, the ladies at the other end of the house are waiting to meet their son-in-law, which in itself is not an easy test. In addition to tricky compliments, the husband may be subject to jokes, which he must also endure steadfastly.
In earlier times, men did not make fun of their young husband; this was only allowed for the ladies of the family. Due to the possibility that the ladies might put honey in the groom's shoes as a joke, it was not recommended to remove them. Also, despite the need to show restraint, the husband was allowed to laugh off attacks without losing his dignity.
Combination of styles
Lately, many brides have decided to combine two styles at their wedding. This is done in order, on the one hand, to connect oneself with the people and the whole memory of generations. On the other hand, every young lady strives to be stylish and fashionable. And what’s most interesting is that you can do this even despite your religion and your chosen religion.
Most Chechen dresses have a train. In this way they are similar to traditional folk costume. A similar detail was transferred to wedding images. As a result, the bride looks great in such clothes.
The bride often chooses an embroidered dress. Almost all of her outfits seem to be embossed in gold. The result is a feeling of complete luxury and wealth. Often, in addition to a scarf, a girl also chooses a veil with a crown.
On the one hand, it may seem massive, but in reality it looks quite majestic. First, the young lady ties a thin silk scarf of a single color. On top of it is a small crown or diadem. A veil is placed on top of the girl. In this case, the veil is long enough to even slightly hide part of the face.
Conventionally, if we talk in general about all the wedding dresses that are customary to wear in Chechnya, they can be divided into certain subtypes:
- National clothing is clothing that fully complies with all the rules and customs prescribed by religion. These are those outfits that do not change or transform for centuries. They are often chosen by traditionally religious families.
- European-style wedding dresses are a departure from generally accepted national costumes. As a rule, Chechen women choose the princess style. In them they look especially feminine, gentle and attractive. A closed outfit remains a prerequisite. Catholics have a similar rule, which is why Muslims choose their wedding clothes.
- Designer clothing from Chechen fashion designers - it combines the traditions of the people and at the same time the style and spirit of Europe. As a result, we get quite interesting and original images that are acceptable for the Chechen people.
Everything new is well forgotten old
Rituals and rituals undergo many changes that adapt to the modern way of life. If earlier they were regulated by elders, in most cases now this role is assigned to the authorities. For example, many modern government officials are against accompanying a wedding with gunfire, since this tradition is simply unsafe for the modern lifestyle of the majority of the younger generation.
Also, modern laws do not oblige the bride to cut the wedding cake; sobriety of the guests is required. Dancing for the bride is allowed only if her head is covered with a veil or other headdress.
The Chechen wedding, despite modern innovations, has preserved its cultural and historical heritage for several centuries. Despite the changes, weddings in the country are still famous for their scope and compliance with a number of regulations by both the authorities and traditions.
Features of the suit
A woman at a marriage registration ceremony wants to look simply stunning in order to amaze all the men around her with her beauty. Every nationality and religion has its own concepts of beauty. Orthodox girls are not allowed to wear a headdress at all. They wear a beautiful and rich Chechen wedding dress, distinguished by its special luxury and charm.
Chechen wedding dresses, photos.
Catholic young ladies, on the contrary, always cover their heads with a veil, which also goes down over their face. As for the dress, the choice is generally more modest, but at the same time sophisticated and elegant.
Muslims most carefully protect their women and girls from prying eyes. They need to completely cover their head and cover their arms. However, this does not mean that their outfits are uninteresting and boring. Their wedding dresses are full of aesthetics and grace.
