Instructions for the bride and groom? funny: advice and instructions for newlyweds

Absolutely all guests go to the wedding not empty-handed and empty-headed. As for the hands, it is clear that you need to give a gift for the newlyweds.

What it will be like is up to you to decide based on the imagination, financial capabilities and desires of the young people. But if we talk about what else the newlyweds need, then it’s worth definitely noting congratulations. Most often, spouses hear wishes addressed to them in the form of prose or poetry. Both options are acceptable.

But orders are the most popular. For the most part, the order is comic and cool, so it is received with a bang by the guests. Especially if you manage to beat him in an interesting way.

Tips and advice for newlyweds

The order can come from the lips of absolutely any guest. As for parting words, there are limitations. Such speeches are mainly given by respected and revered family members. Often these are mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers and godparents.

But the order is so unique and original that it can be pronounced on behalf of friends. There are several variations on themes. Initially, you can write a speech dedicated only to the groom and separately to the bride. This option will amuse everyone. It will resemble popular bad advice.

Order to the bride

Remember that the main idea of the order is to convey an intelligent thought in the simplest words. Every sentence must have a deep meaning.

The bride, after reading your text, should understand the basic rules of everyday family life.

Dear daughter-in-law, teach me how to cook tasty, satisfying, appetizing food. Try to do this so that the cabbage stalk tastes like juicy ripe grapes.
Don’t forget to spend the family budget on your beauty, believe me, your husband will be pleased with it.
When you don't agree with your spouse's opinion, don't be categorical. Try to be cunning and dexterous, like a branch on a tree.
If the husband is tired or upset, then he must be reassured. If he wants silence, then give him peace.
Don't become a rusty saw for your husband. You are a young lady and a beautiful friend, a faithful wife. Nobody likes rusty saws.
Spend most of your free time every day with your husband and family. Nevertheless, at least once a week or month, do not forget about yourself and your friends.
Be loving, then your friendly family will always be strong.

Order to the groom

The words spoken to the groom should help him understand in which direction to build his married life.

Provide financial security for your home. It should always be a fortress for you, where it is pleasant and comfortable to be. Build your fortress, protecting your loved ones.
You have to be a real athlete who carries his whole family. Yes, it can be difficult, but it's worth it.
Help your wife run to the store, and do it without asking.
Give your woman flowers, it will be the most pleasant and unexpected moment in life.
Don't be afraid of the baby and the baby that will appear with you. Learn to wash them and help your wife.
Don't argue over little things, be a man, don't pay attention to empty sounds and words.
The family steering wheel is in your hands, hold it firmly and fair winds to you.

Order to the bride

Our light (name of the bride)
is the soul, Be yourself good. Get up in the morning with the sun, don’t lose your beauty. Always greet your husband with a smile, stroke his head gently. Ask about all his worries, Don't let him get bored. Learn to cook deliciously, Prepare a salad so that even a cabbage leaf tastes like grapes. Don't drink, don't torture your spouse for various things. You are his wife, his friend, and not a rusty saw. Take care of your husband and don’t lose him. As for the child, don’t hesitate and give birth. The husband is the head of the family. That's the share of women. Everywhere you agree on everything, But the people also say, Having true signs: The husband is the head, the wife is like the neck, She will turn wherever she wants. But if you are grumpy, willful and jealous, you will begin to repent yourself - When the baldness is visible!

Comic and funny instructions for young people

If you want to amuse the guests and make the newlyweds laugh, funny instructions are suitable. They should be played in an original way. To do this, you can arrange a small dance scene.

You need to ask a man from your company to play the role of the king, but one couple would become newlyweds. In a humorous form, the king should state the decree that he issued. From now on, all married couples must strictly adhere to it.

Prepare the decree itself in advance. This applies not only to the semantic part itself, but also to its design. Contact a printing house where they can print your decree on beautiful glossy paper.

As for the semantic part, the order itself can be either in poetic or prosaic form. The meaning will remain the same.

In verse

The most common form due to its ease of pronunciation and memorization. In addition, in all literary fairy tales, the king's decrees were in verse.

Listen, quickly, my friend, you are my decree. Hurry up, hurry up and fulfill it. Let it become a command for you. You must remember it. Love your wife like a diva, Dream about her every day and hour. And may she always be as beautiful as she is in this moment for us. My friend, don’t forget about money, the material side is very important. Your dear wife should be completely satisfied. She, in turn, will bake sweet pies for you. Don't you like sweets? Well, we'll change all the minced meat. Don’t forget, dear ones, that you are a couple for a reason. You are a real and happy married family.

Well, Seryoga, dear. You protect your wife’s peace both on holidays and on weekdays. And don’t go to the left, Don’t walk for a beer, Just walk along the alley with your little wife. Just take the stroller, and all day long you'll hurry up and go for a walk with your little wife, that's about it.

Our Svetochka, beauty, well then, quickly listen to our order. Let everything in life be wonderful with us. You, Svetlanochka, from now on wake up early in the morning. It’s not just that, don’t think about it, let’s bake pies for your husband, and for your son, for your daughter.

In prose

Prose can be considered words spoken from the heart. They seem to be born from the head and reach the soul of everyone.

First of all, from now on, you, Love, must become a good wife. But few people know what a good wife is. She should follow not the call of her heart, but her husband’s advice. As soon as you receive an instruction, you should immediately carry it out, throwing your thoughts into the background. In addition, you should be as attractive and sexy as possible for your husband, without attracting the attention of other men. On weekends, get up an hour before your husband wakes up to put on your makeup and do your hair. Then you need to quickly lie down and pretend that you just woke up. If the husband went for a walk with friends, then you can start calling them only a day after the husband’s disappearance, and not earlier.
The husband must become the real head of the family, who will earn money for all its members, and will not even glance at other beauties. Let the wife honor her husband as a true hero who is capable of moving mountains. Self-confidence and marital faith will help the husband achieve new heights and unconquered heights.

Order to the young

Today at (registration time)

local time, a new family was formed and registered. In accordance with the Law on Marriage and Family, I order:

Call for active, indefinite family service a bachelor (name of the groom), who has passed a medical commission and is found fit for military family life.

From (wedding year)

For a year, the former bachelor, and now a newcomer to family life, should move to a barracks position and be in combat readiness for a full honeymoon.

In this regard, assign him the title “husband,” his mother “mother-in-law,” and his father “father-in-law.”

In connection with the transition from a serene girl’s life to a female slave, citizen (name of the bride)

assign the title "spouse", her mother - "mother-in-law", her father - "father-in-law".

The order is read out to all those present, approved by glasses of wine, so that (name of the groom)

With his honest service, from today on, he tried to earn another title - “father of the family.”

Decree to the young

According to the decree of the Main Committee for Marriage and the Presidium of the Council for Love Affairs, assign (name of the groom)

and
(name of the bride)
honorary title - Family, followed by:

increase in numerical strength;
standing firmly on your feet and walking cheerfully, past quarrels and troubles;
visiting their parents and receiving them with due respect and attention, at least once a month.

The above-mentioned (name of the groom) and (name of the bride) should be called briefly but proudly - “Husband” and “Wife”. And the day (wedding day) of each year is considered a day off and a holiday, with all the ensuing consequences.

And finally, I’ll end with these words: Today I am a guest at the wedding, today my friends are getting married. I’m not a fan of “red phrases”, the order was specific for you.

Instructions for the bride and groom.

Wedding order, order and decree

Documents for a wedding are varied - this includes a wedding diploma, acts of transfer of newlyweds, orders, decrees, but orders are the most popular. For the most part, the order is comic, and therefore is perceived by guests with special interest. Especially if you manage to beat him in an original way. An order at a wedding celebration can be heard from the lips of absolutely any guest, which is why it is so unique and original. Initially, you can write a speech dedicated only to the groom and separately to the bride. This option will amuse all guests. After all, it resembles popular bad advice.

By downloading for free a ready-made template for a wedding order for the newlyweds in the Old Russian style, printing it out, and then coordinating your performance with the host of the wedding evening, you will add some zest to such a solemn day. This order to the newlyweds at the wedding sounds like this.

Wedding vow husband's vow

From now on, the husband is... (name, surname of the groom) I swear on my honor and soul, That we will live together with... (name of the bride) until the golden wedding. I swear to be an excellent husband, an exemplary father to my children. I swear not to forget my friends, I will invite you to all birthdays. I will babysit the children, I will be lower than any grass. I will sew, wash and darn And I will not stomp on my wife. I will be an angel, not a husband, I ask guests - believe me. My wife, well, that means... (name of the bride), I will not allow anyone to offend me in my life, and I will give my entire salary to my wife without hiding. And if he suddenly starts to swear, then in order to put out the quarrel, I will silently smile, He will understand, of course, and forgive.
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So that your boat does not break in everyday life, at a MINIMUM it is necessary: that the husband is well-fed And eats chicken-tobacco once a week, Or in extreme cases - stew (not “horns”!) That he is healthy and decently dressed, That he is in Sunday is a special lunch, taking into account the fact that the husband should be especially proud of his wife on his day off (This should not bother him too much. Help his wife in the kitchen on this day).

What is MAXIMUM necessary: so that he is loved and protected with your tender love, so that he lives in anticipation of an eternal miracle and is thereby insured against fornication. So that she would not have any serious disagreements with him and would sometimes give in to him in disputes. You shouldn't tear him away from his friends. To be alienated from them and to be jealous of them. If you want everything to be normal between you, Let him occasionally go to the sauna with friends And see in the illusion of this “freedom” Your independence for many years So that your boat does not break into everyday life, There is no need to harbor grudges against each other, There is no need to have children It’s too early, Don’t be afraid to love without deception, Don’t be afraid to quarrel with your mother-in-law or mother-in-law, Don’t be afraid to be left without money. Even in the early years, you can’t be a bore, But often you can’t break dishes “for luck!” There is no need to be timid where you should be brave, You should not beat with a rag where you can beat with a mop (Husbands can endure pain and wounds, But they really do not tolerate humiliation). So that the boat of Love does not suddenly leak, Try to preserve the mutual feeling, It will not be replaced: no ringing noise of toasts, No furniture, paintings, carpets and sheepskin coats. All this is not the main thing. The main thing is to sail and in the boat - to love, help and be friends, and if you suddenly have to separate, so that there is a desire to strive for each other! Perhaps that's all. Well, what else do you need? For you to live long, happily and in harmony, you need a child: one and two. And you will be a complete family!

On this day, the young man pinches the young woman’s butt, So that the matter will quickly come to night - he dreams about this, Guests shout “Bitter!” every moment, And they begin to steal the bride deftly, Young people, live without worries, Let your love grow stronger every day, Let a family boat will not destroy your life, and we wish you to be rich like Rockefeller!

Wedding, doves, priest, Vows, rings and veil, The price tag is round from the dress And there is emptiness in the pockets.

Now you are not someone nearby, but the bride and groom. Now there is no need to hide, there is an apartment for two.

Sharpen your chisel and chisel sharper. Relatives are waiting and you will multiply soon, finally.

Today is January __ (September-December). It was not in vain that we gathered. Congratulate the bride and groom. With the stage of their life together.

We wish you happiness and fun, Harmony, love, happy moments. So that you can always be proud of the child that will be born to you.

So that you never feel on yourself, Which means: “There’s no way...”. And so that your union lasts for a long, long time, So that everyone seems to fall in love for the first time.

And the presence of rings on the hand means sincerity of hearts. And in conclusion, congratulations to the bride and groom, We: “Bitter!”, we will shout with you together!

Let's eat beer with doggy style, Vodka with spicy cucumber, So that your marriage is not a “marriage”, So that it is the crown of life: Under the crown is now the bride, And at her feet is the groom... Let's drink so that there is room to make children with them! So that the children have a place to sleep. Where. And - their sleep was deep! In the night, sweet for spouses, Only love was heard moaning!

We are opening courses for dads to drive baby strollers. Driving licenses are issued after nine months. Traffic police

A wife is not a mitten. You can’t throw it off your hand, and you can’t throw it over the fence. Lost and found.

Congratulations to the newlyweds on their legal marriage. We wish you happiness and warn the groom in advance: if the bride is kidnapped, the police are powerless. ATS.

Congratulations! We wish not to find ourselves under the heel of our wife. Shoe workshop.

Don't wake her up at dawn, and don't test her patience. She has curlers in her head, and don't count on more. Rival.

If you drink sometimes, your wife will suddenly become furious, there is no need to worry your nerves, - Come spend the night with us. Sobering-up station.

Our hearty congratulations on your good catch! From today, the season of hunting for brides and catching mermaids is closed for you forever. Hunter Society.

Congratulations and we announce unprecedented discounts on the installation of an alarm system that protects your wife from theft. Car service.

My favorite! Yesterday I found out that you are getting married. It's a pity! Well, all the best to you! For many years we lived with you in peace and friendship, enjoying each other. Are you really tired of me and have you cheated on me? It's a pity that you met someone else. She is better, kinder, more beautiful than me! Well, goodbye forever! Happiness to you, love. I will console myself with the fact that I have a lot of your brother left. Goodbye. Your single life.

Dear, dear and beloved! Who did you leave me for? How I loved you! After all, we were happy together. And now it’s all over, but I will forever remember our walks with you under the moon, conversations on quiet evenings, I will remember our crazy and sweet life. I'm left alone, but I won't cry! Your single life.

Wedding "pioneer" vow

(read by toastmaster, young people answer)

Toastmaster: – Let’s read a small instruction to the young people now. We will instruct you - you are welcome to answer.

Live in harmony, live in friendship, Yes, cherish each other, Do not offend even with a word - be prepared! Bride and groom (in unison): - Always ready!

Toastmaster: - Groom! Love your wife, don’t reproach for being late, be gentle, not harsh - be prepared! Groom: – Always ready!

Toastmaster: - Bride! Don’t scold your husband, Don’t be jealous and don’t blame, Clean, wash, cook - be ready! Bride: – Always ready!

Toastmaster: – You chose your other halves well! We wish you from now on to become one soul. Well, advice and love to you! Be ready! Bride and groom (in unison): - Always ready!

Wedding instructions to the groom (read by groomsman)

You must live in harmony and cherish each other. Look, groom, love your wife, and don’t talk about others. Cherish your wife, and let her live with you, As if behind a stone wall, without knowing grief. Don’t forget that you are obligated to help your spouse, to repair, wash and clean, to raise children and not to scold, to build your own house, to protect your Family is your duty. Your merit. Just wake up your beautiful bride with kisses, and I’ll tell you one hundred percent honestly: Live in peace and love!

Wedding instructions to the bride (read by the bridesmaid)

Here’s some advice for you, wife: in order to live together for a hundred years, learn to cook deliciously so that he doesn’t become sad.

oh, He will bring you a salary - don’t scold him for spending, Don’t be like a rusty saw, but be kind and sweet to him, Make him wash the dishes and floors more often, That’s how he’ll become hard-working! And always praise him. Trying to always be his support, You will become his most beloved wife, And may envy, dashing, quarrels and discord always bypass your home! Bitterly!

Parental order

Do not break your marriage vow, That two wedding rings remember, And each for the second will remain beloved until the very end! Everyone knows that life is sometimes difficult, And evil strives to defeat love, But from now on you have found each other Which means you can cope with any misfortune. Let respect and patience become the basis of your young family, a parental blessing to you! Live, children, in peace and love!

Instruction to the young of their friends Take a break for a moment, In rhyme, seriously and jokingly, We will now tell you Our advice and our injunction. You, friends, when getting married, would only live together like this, so that later you could say: “Everyone should live like this, live like this!” Over the years, your marriage will become more beautiful, May life be a full cup, May your family shelter bloom, Peace, happiness and love to you!

Wedding instructions for guests Live cheerfully and amicably, Have everything you need in life, Keeping the holy law of love Until the wedding itself, “golden”.

Congratulations to the young people! Accept our order: Joy, grief - divide equally into two.

We wish that your marriage bears a “quality mark” such that you carry a “golden” torch of love to your wedding.

Today is a wonderful day for you, let’s just say, a great day. You were a bride and groom, and now you are a husband and wife. With this step, allow me to sincerely congratulate you, Well, friends, on your legal marriage! Good day and good hour!

Instructions for newlyweds

In order for your honeymoon to last 5 years, you will have to follow a complex and harsh code:

Order to the groom

1. Provide financially and warm your home. Don’t forget that you should be good morally too! 2. As an athlete, you must carry your family on your shoulders, and preserve and please your wife, even though it is difficult. 3. Run to the store without asking, don’t forget to give flowers, and don’t even think about asking for lunch ahead of time, friend. 4. Shave often and for a long time, wash your hands before eating, and don’t be particularly strict with your young wife. 5. When the baby appears, which undoubtedly should happen, don’t be afraid of those diapers, learn to wash the baby. 6. If there is a reason for a quarrel, turn everything into a joke, be a man in small things, don’t start an argument in vain. 7. Hold the family steering wheel firmly, don’t forget our code, the course for happiness has been chosen precisely - keep it up, move forward!

Order to the bride

And now, without delay, we will talk about the bride, so that we can warn her against future mistakes: 1. Learn to cook deliciously, in any manner and way, so that, say, a cabbage leaf is just like a grape. 2. Spend a third of your budget on your family and tailors - if you are dressed fashionably, your husband will be happy, as will the groom. 3. If you sometimes disagree with your spouse’s opinion, be like an elastic twig: don’t say “no” or “yes.” 4. Always meet your husband with a smile, gently stroke his head, ask about all his worries, don’t let him get bored. 5. If your husband is tired or upset, calm him down and caress him so that he becomes calm again, give him a little rest. 6. Don’t drink, don’t torment your spouse for various things. You are his wife, his girlfriend, and not a rusty saw. 7. Give three-quarters of the day to your family, but in the midst of days, hours, minutes, don’t forget about your friends. Take care of your husband’s strength, don’t lose him. As for the child, don’t hesitate and give birth.

Let your family be strong and friendly. Long life and health to you. Be happy, friends!

Instructions to the groom:

Don’t disappear in the garage, Buy gifts for your wife, Forget about your girlfriends, Be an angel with your mother-in-law, Drink more often with your father-in-law - It won’t be a family, but paradise!

Always be a man in everything, a generous heart and soul; Don’t look for reasons for evil, Always be the eldest in the family.

Help your wife, but in moderation - Women cannot be spoiled!.. This is what all married friends advise, for example.

Do not try to fulfill her whim, She will only barely stutter, And always try to remember that in the family the husband is the head

Instructions for the bride:

Carry your husband in your arms, Don’t ask for a salary, Try to wash, cook, do laundry, Smile at your father-in-law more often And idolize your mother-in-law - This is how you save love!

*** Once upon a time there lived a single guy, handsome, smart, young. So that he always remains like this, We will give you advice:

You must take care of your husband. Let him lie down so he can read the newspaper or just leaf through it.

If you are grumpy, willful and jealous, don’t wonder why you won’t find a husband at home.

To make life seem like paradise, don’t find fault with your husband. Laugh more often, smile, Never be arrogant!

*** You try to be a housewife and a good wife, not lazy, not arrogant, in general, be yourself.

Just pleasing your husband, loving him with all your heart, washing him, sewing him, don’t forget about yourself:

Follow all the laws of fashion, Don’t dress haphazardly: The weather in life is often determined by a small trifle.

Then you will be able to rule everything, Remembering the wise words, That wherever your neck wants, Your head will turn too!

Advice for husband

1. God endured - and commanded you to. 2. Don’t confuse which pocket contains your paycheck and which contains your stash. 3. If you get under your wife’s heel, then don’t buy her stilettos, but rather give her house slippers. 4. Always be attentive to your wife and do not start quarrels first, give her the pleasure of doing so. 5. A persistent husband will always achieve what his wife wants. 6. Rely on the stork, but don’t make a mistake yourself. 7. If your wife starts singing loudly, quickly go out onto the balcony so that no one thinks that you are hitting her.

Advice for your wife

A good wife should know:

that she has the best husband;
that he is not only the smartest, but also the most talented;
that his genius is not recognized only because there are only intriguers and envious people around, and he will show them yet!

In addition, a good wife should: 1. Follow her husband’s instructions and rush to carry them out, without listening to her own voice of reason. 2. Always look attractive to your husband and invisible to other men. 3. Be sure to serve your husband a hot breakfast, even if he leaves for work an hour later than she does. 4. On the weekend, waking up an hour earlier than your husband, putting on makeup and combing your hair, lie down again and pretend that it happened. 5. Love your husband’s friends with all your heart, and if he went to meet them and was suddenly delayed, start calling them no earlier than a day later.

*** Bride! Always keep the apartment in order, cherish, pamper, please your husband - And all with good mood, without another word - Be prepared! Always ready!

Groom! Be responsible for gas and heat, So that it is not damp and it is light, So as not to call mechanics, painters - Be prepared! Always ready!

Bride! For your husband to be the best in everything, To love him tenderly both night and day, So that everything that is old seems new to you - Be ready! Always ready!

Groom! Protect your spouse from worries, Love her as much as in the days of your first meetings, And only for her do not spare tender words - Be prepared! Always ready!

Bride! To be the best mommy to two or three kids, to sing songs to them, to talk heart to heart, without forgetting about your dear husband - be ready! Always ready!

Groom! Be the best parent, Don’t blame your wife for triplets, Become the main mentor of young minds - Be prepared! Always ready!

Instructions for the young in the old Russian style

From this year, month ..., ... day, we command the young man (name of the groom) and the beautiful maiden (name of the bride) to be considered husband and wife, who have mutually agreed to exchange their free and free life for a married one, and therefore they should be accepted only together, and separately seriously not to accept, because they are a single whole and indivisible. The spouse should be the head of his family, earn money for living, and not look at other beauties. Let the wife not be afraid of her husband, but love him, respect him, honor him as a hero, do not make him angry, do not tease him, feed him well, but in moderation, so that he does not become fat and does not become passive in business. May you live a happy and joyful life. Keep the door to the hut open for the sake of cheerful and genuine guests. Don’t forget your father and mother, share your joys and sorrows with them, and don’t neglect your parents’ wise advice. Do all household chores together, start family rituals, keep the room clean, sing funny songs, drink spring and fruit water. This order must be protected and preserved, for it contains unprecedented power. And if something bad happens between you, take out this order, sit side by side, read it thoughtfully and the bitter quarrel will be settled, you will have peace and harmony, happiness and joy in the house. Follow the order strictly and teach your children according to it.

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Instructions for the young in the old Russian style

From this day (day, month, year of wedding) I command the young man (name of the groom) and the beautiful maiden (name of the bride) to be considered husband and wife, who have mutually agreed to exchange their free and free life for a married one, and therefore they should only be accepted together, and not separately take seriously, for they are one indivisible and whole.

The spouse should be the head of the family, earn a living, and not look at other beauties.
Let the wife not fear her husband, but love him, honor and respect him as a hero; does not tease, does not anger, feeds well, but in moderation, so that he does not become passive in business and does not become obese.
May you live a joyful and happy life. Give birth to a heroic son and a beautiful daughter. Keep the door to the hut open for the sake of real and cheerful guests. The soul lives not with Persian carpets, but with overseas crystals, but with true friends. Don’t forget your father and mother, share your sorrows and joys with them, use your parents’ wise advice.
Do all household chores together, keep the room clean, start family rituals, sing funny songs, drink fruit and spring water.

This order must be preserved and protected, for it contains unprecedented power. And if something bad happens between you, take out this order, sit side by side, read it thoughtfully and the bitter quarrel will be settled, you will have peace and harmony, joy and happiness in your home. Fulfill the order and teach your children strictly according to it.

It must be remembered that the main idea of the instructions at the wedding is to convey an intelligent thought in the simplest speeches. Every sentence must have a deep meaning. And the words spoken to the groom should help him understand in which direction to build his married life.